19. Lumi
Chapter 19
Lumi
A nger ripples through me until my muscles begin to spasm uncontrollably. My nerves ignite, begging for an outlet before they combust.
But I sit.
And I wait.
And I wait.
I will wait until Ambrose returns. Then, I will make my move.
The basement is veiled in complete darkness. Thankfully, my eyesight is the one thing that proves that I carry the wolf shifter blood in my veins despite not being able to shift. I can see the entire room perfectly. Three cells and I am in the center one. And from the marks on the walls and in the ground, it looks like the cells are frequently used.
Even at the sight of evidence of torture, my anger doesn’t turn to fear. I’m not afraid of Ambrose. I don’t care that he’s the strongest alpha that ever lived. He shouldn’t have locked me in a cell. Shouldn’t have used an alpha command on me.
I don’t care how little he knows me. I don’t care how angry he was with me for disobeying his orders. I don’t care how if he’s not used to other people disobeying him. He should’ve talked to me. I shouldn’t be here.
I don’t know how long I wait—somewhere between minutes and hours—but it’s not as long as I expected. Maybe he was just dealing with his own temper and needed me somewhere safe where he wouldn’t hurt me. But no excuse will dampen my disgust with him.
I hear heavy footsteps descending the stairs. I don’t have to look up to know it’s Ambrose. The way my body reacts instantaneously is enough for me to be sure. Heat floods my body, and a beginning to be familiar ache forms between my thighs. I grit my teeth together, angry at myself for feeling any attraction for a male who could get so furious with me that he locks me up like a prisoner. Damn the bond between us.
“How is Emeric?” I ask, staring straight ahead at the wall, ignoring him and my body’s reaction.
“He lives, for now. However, I haven’t decided if I’m going to kill him for putting you in danger.”
His words cause me to look up and into his golden-flaked eyes. He’s standing on the opposite side of the metal bars; there’s a deep but unclear emotion on his face. I don’t know him well enough yet to be able to discern what’s going on inside his head.
“Don’t be mad at Emeric. You’re not the one who gets to be mad,” I growl.
He raises his eyebrows. “And you are?”
“Yes, I get to be angry.” I stand, stomping across the cell until we are face to face. I have to crane my neck to look up at him, though, which ruins the effect. “I get to be incredibly angry with you.”
“For keeping you safe? That’s what you’re angry about?”
“For locking me in this cell like I’m your enemy!”
His nostrils flare, but mine flare right back. I won’t back down, not this time. If I do, I know what my future will look like. I’ll be following one step behind this man for the rest of my life. I’ll be blindly expected to follow orders. I’ll live in this house, but it might as well be this cell for all the freedom I’ll have.
“You’re not my mate. You can’t be,” I shake my head, glaring at him, my anger overpowering the sexual tension I felt earlier. My rage masks every warm feeling I have toward him. If we are really mates, then I shouldn’t be able to squash those feelings so easily.
For a second, neither of us says anything. I don’t know how he’s going to react to my fuming.
A slow grin works its way up his face, and then he cocks his head to the side.
My heart flutters in my chest. Down heart, don’t fall so easily. This man is nothing more than a controlling alpha asshole. He’s not my mate. He can’t be.
“You don’t think we are mates?” he asks, with a sly grin and quickly darkening eyes.
I shake my head. “I think we were fooled, like so many before us.”
“Hmmm.” He moves to the cell door and pushes it open. I’m not even sure if he bothered to undo the lock or not.
My legs instinctually try to take a step backward, but I force myself to hold my ground and not show any fear.
“You’re too cruel to be my mate.”
“I am cruel.” He takes a step toward me, invading every bit of space between us until I can’t breathe without inhaling his scent.
Still, I refuse to retreat. I won’t allow him to intimidate me.
“I’m an alpha; I don’t have a choice but to be cruel and ruthless. If I’m not, my pack and all the shifters would be vulnerable. The witches and vampires would be constantly attacking us. I have to exude power at all times. Otherwise, we’re all dead.”
I frown. “You locked me up to control me. To try to make me yield to your power. If I’m your mate, then you don’t get to manhandle me. I’m your equal. And I can’t be equal to a cruel monster like you.”
The second my words leave my mouth, my back hits the wall behind me with a gentle thud. Ambrose pushed us back so quickly that I didn’t even realize we were moving. His body stands in front of me, boxing me in with his large, powerful arms on either side of me. His hips lightly push against mine.
“You don’t think I’m your mate?” he says again, his breath hot against mine.
“I don’t think you’re my mate,” I say for what feels like the millionth time. Each time I say it, it feels more and more true.
His golden eyes drag down my body, assessing me for himself. I try not to flinch under his stare, but my body can’t help but twitch. My breath comes hard and fast as my heartbeat leaps out of my chest.
I swear I see his lips curl up at my reaction to his perusal of my body. It just pisses me off more.
“You’re right; you’re not my mate,” he says. His words are a dagger in my back—hard, cruel, menacing. He says it so casually, like he’s deciding on his next meal, and I don’t make the cut. I shouldn’t be angry at him for repeating my own words back to me, but I am.
“My mate wouldn’t have silver, snowy white hair. She’d have golden yellow hair.” His fingers run through my long silver locks, and I tense at his touch.
“She wouldn’t have bones more pronounced than muscles.” He runs his hand down my neck, over my clavicle, and then over my ribcage.
“She’d have wide hips for bearing my future heir and the rest of my offspring.” He slides his hand around my ass and tugs me tightly against him.
My hatred of him burns and burns inside me at every insult. Unfortunately, it’s not the only thing burning.
I grind my teeth together and grip my hands into fists, trying to keep from letting my body heat with desire for this man.
“Then let me go. You’re wasting your time with me,” I whisper.
His nose nuzzles against my neck as silent shivers race down my spine. I refuse to move. I refuse to give in to this desire.
“My mate would also react to every single word I speak. She’d shiver at my breath on her skin. Her heartbeat would race at my touch. And a kiss…a kiss would have her soaked, ready for me to fuck her.”
I lick my lips, and he smirks at me in a knowing way.“Should we test it out? See if you are truly my mate or not?”
I shake my head quickly, refusing to let him win no matter how much I want the bastard to kiss me.
“I’m sure my body would react to any number of men kissing me. My reaction to you would prove nothing.”
He shakes his head. “Your body would only truly react to your mate. Only your mate would be able to satisfy the urges you feel. Only your mate would make you think of them and only them. Only your mate would be enough for you.”
“I know about what the curse does. I know it tries to survive by making me desirable to every male and every male desirable to me. How do I know that’s not what’s happening between the two of us?”
“Have you kissed a man before?”
I nod slowly.
“And what did you feel?”
I think of my kiss with Kael. “Nothing.”
“I’ll parade every man in the pack in here to kiss you until you realize the truth.”
“I’m not your mate.”
He chuckles. “You really don’t get it, do you? It took me a while, too, to realize how perfect we are for each other.”
“I hate you. We aren’t mates.”
He runs his thumb up and down my hip, driving me slightly mad.
“Being mates isn’t about being in love. It’s not about liking or not liking each other. It’s about being each other’s match. Their equal.”
“I’m not a savage beast like you,” I say.
“No, you’re not. But that’s only a tiny part of who I am. I’m strong, ruthless, determined, and a leader, and I will do anything to stop this curse. You’re the same.”
“You said I was weak! You don’t think I’m any of those things.”
“You are weak—physically. You don’t have the muscles or endurance you need to match me or any other supernatural creature. You’re weak because you haven’t gotten your wolf yet. Which, of course, wouldn’t appear when you are packless and don’t have an alpha to guide you.”
My nostrils flare with rage.
“But you don’t let that physical weakness stop you. You’re foolish enough to think you could still stop vampires and witches alone. You’re the bravest, stubbornest, most determined female I’ve ever met. That makes you strong. You aren’t afraid of me when everyone else is, including Emeric. You’re my mate, and you know it. Denying it won’t change anything.”
“I’m—” I start but cut myself off. He’s probably right, but I still hate it.
“It doesn’t change anything,” I finally say. “It doesn’t change that I hate you. That you want to control me. That I still refuse to be yours and follow your every command the rest of my life.”
His eyes narrow, and he takes a deep breath, his gaze softening. “I was afraid.”
My heart stops as I hear him through our bond. His words going straight to my mind feels so intimate, like he’s pouring his soul into me.
“I was terrified that I was about to lose you out there.”
“But you didn’t. You’re the strongest alpha the world has ever seen. You didn’t even have to fight to get me to safety.”
He shakes his head as a strand of his hair falls in his face out of the half up bun on top of his head. And then I see the change, the moisture gathered in his eyes. The air changes between us. “Nyx sent them—the vampires and witches.”
“Nyx?”
He nods. “He’s the only alpha who can rival me. All he wants to do is defeat me and take over as head of all the packs. If he does, he’ll unleash hell on all the packs for exiling his Bloodmoon pack for all these years. He’ll let the vampires and witches wreak havoc until we are all destroyed.”
I study him closely and see that he’s truly afraid of Nyx. Of what could happen. But right now, I don’t care about Nyx. Or the vampires. Or the witches.
“Do you know what the mating bond does to a male? Especially an alpha?”
I shake my head slowly, trembling slightly as he moves his hands up my body.
“Let me show you. And then you can tell me if you think we are mates or not.”