29. Lumi
Chapter 29
Lumi
“ W hat would I have to do to be initiated into the Moonlight pack?”
Ambrose isn’t looking at me; he’s looking at Rowena like he might kill her for bringing up the idea in front of me. It makes me feel like it isn’t the first time that she’s brought this up to him.
“Lumi is going to have to do it sooner or later,” Rowena says.
“Later then,” Ambrose growls.
I fold my arms as I watch them argue in front of me like I’m not even here. But it gives me time to study both of them and their relationship together. If they once had feelings for each other, they’re not there anymore.
“It’s not really your decision,” Rowena says with a smirk.
Ambrose steps in front of me like I need protection from Rowena. “I’m not putting her through that.”
“You can’t stop her if she wants to initiate.”
“I’m the alpha. I can deny her.”
“And how would that look to the rest of the pack? You want them to accept her. You want them to believe she’s your match and to respect her as your mate. If you didn’t let her initiate, they would think it’s because you don’t think she’s worthy enough.”
“Lumi is more than worthy,” his growl vibrates through me and warms my heart even though he’s denying me a chance to join the pack.
“I agree, and she’s capable of making her own decisions,” Rowena’s eyes twinkle as she looks at me.
I smile at her, appreciating her help, but I’m capable of fighting my own battles when it comes to Ambrose.
I step out from behind Ambrose. “Maybe you two should talk to me and let me have a say instead of arguing like I’m not right here.”
“Initiation isn’t an easy way to solve our problems. It might not even help you shift. And then you would have gone through everything for nothing,” Ambrose says, finally looking at me.
“But I would be part of the Moonlight wolves. Even if it doesn’t help me gain my wolf, I would belong somewhere.”
Ambrose’s eyes soften as I speak, but I immediately regret my words. I’ve always belonged to a pack. I’ve never felt like I didn’t.
“You can join after you gain your wolf. It will make it easier to endure.”
“But it would make her stronger now. And as much as she has the internal strength, she needs the full support of the pack with all the attacks currently happening,” Rowena pushes.
Ambrose continues to stare at me, and I can see his resolve ending.
“Lumi can know the truth,” Rowena hits him with the final nail.
He sucks in a breath, like being able to tell me everything would ease some suffering that he’s been battling all this time.
“Initiation won’t be easy. It will be the hardest thing you’ve ever been through. I can’t tell you more than that. But I have no doubt that you’ll be able to get through it and become part of the Moonlight wolves, whether you do it later or now.”
I smile, but my heart suddenly starts racing. If I’m part of the Moonlight pack, then I’m no longer part of the Wintermoon pack. I’m leaving my past behind.
What if they find out I already belong to a pack? Can I still initiate into the Moonlight pack if I’m still technically in the Wintermoon pack?
My heart sinks when I realize that isn’t going to be a problem. My father is dead. The pack is gone. I’m truly packless right now.
Ambrose turns to me with a lightness in his eyes. “I could tell you everything. No more secrets between us.”
I force my smile to widen as he does, even though I feel anything but happiness because there will always be secrets between us. Maybe not his anymore, but mine. I can never tell him what pack I came from or who I truly am. But maybe it doesn’t matter if I can find a way to break the curse.
“It’s your choice,” he says.
“I want to initiate into the Moonlight wolves.”
He pulls me in tight in a hug, his arms wrapping around me like he’s never letting me go. And for once, I feel like I’m home.
“Tomorrow night—I’ll arrange everything for tomorrow night,” he says, releasing me before jogging off to talk to Emeric and arrange the initiation, leaving Rowena and me in her living room.
“Everything okay?” she asks, and I know she can see through my fake smile.
I let it drop, knowing there is no point pretending. I trust her, but I can’t trust her with my secret.
“It will be after initiation.”