Chapter 35
ADRIANA
Sleep hasn't come easy since I left him.
I tell myself it's stress. The Kozlov negotiations. My father's recovery. Running two empires at once.
But at three o’clock in the morning when I'm staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, it's not business keeping me awake. It's the memory of Lochlan’s hands on my skin. His voice in my ear. The way he looked at me like I was the center of his world.
I drag myself out of bed and start preparing for today's negotiation session with Ronan and Alexei.
If I stay busy enough, maybe I'll stop thinking about him.
It hasn't worked yet, but I guess hope springs eternal.
After all of my company business is finished, I spend twenty minutes getting dressed for the meeting that will determine the future of my family. I should be thinking about distribution routes and territorial boundaries, logistics that will protect our power and control.
Instead, I’m thinking about Lochlan. As always.
I grit my teeth and sweep my hair into a tight, no-nonsense bun at the nape of my neck.
His face, pinched with anguish, was branded into my memory the second he ambushed me outside my parents’ house yesterday.
I still hear the desperation in his voice when he called my name.
And the way he fought against my security, trying to get to me, like he’d tear through anyone who stood in his way… I can’t lie. It still gives me chills.
My own voice loops through my tormented mind. It was cold and flat, completely emotionless as I told him to go home even though everything in me wanted to scream and beg him to stay.
And then the last thing I saw before I turned my back and walked inside—
I clutch the sides of my head. No, I can’t think of the tortured look on his face again.
Stop it. He lied to you. He watched your father almost die and said nothing. You don’t owe him anything.
But telling him I never wanted to see him again?
That broke something in me, something I’m not sure can ever be fixed.
I don’t let myself think about why. It’s easier to just be angry. It’s easier to remind myself of all the people who’ve lied to me, and God knows, there are plenty. Vincenzo, Eamon, Riccardo in his own pathetic way. Lochlan is just another name on a long list of people I shouldn’t have trusted.
Being cold is the only thing that makes me feel strong right now. And I need strength going into this meeting.
But my God, I miss him so much. I miss Reaper padding after me from room to room.
I miss waking up to the smell of breakfast and the sound of Lochlan humming off-key in the kitchen.
I miss the feel of him in the bed beside me, the way he’d pull me against his chest in his sleep, his familiar cologned scent.
I miss the life we were building together, even if it was built on lies.
I roll my eyes at my reflection. Pathetic. I’m pathetic.
With an impatient sigh, I grab a black dress off a hanger. Simple and understated, it’s my professional armor. Nobody will crack through it. Nobody will know how close to crumbling I am just below the surface.
The CEO mask is firmly in place when I walk to my car. And I will never again show anyone what really lies underneath.
I arranged to meet Alexei and Ronan at a restaurant in the Seaport.
It’s well after noon, so the lunch crowd and any prying eyes have cleared out by the time I arrive…
fifteen minutes early. I settle into the chair at the head of the table and position my security on opposite sides of the front entrance.
Alexei Kozlov arrives five minutes before the scheduled time. He gives me a nod. “Adriana, it’s nice to see you again.”
“Likewise,” I say. “Because we’re finally in agreement.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Well, you have our commitment. But it remains to be seen how Molloy will take it.”
“Ronan is a reasonable guy,” I say. “He knows that he was invited as a courtesy, and he fully expects—”
The door opens and the words die on my lips as my stomach freefalls.
Ronan walks in first. But right behind him—
Lochlan.
I swallow hard and dig my fingers into the edge of my chair. Dark circles smudge the skin under his eyes, his jaw tense. But with his hair is slicked back, his face clean shaven, and his suit hugging his sinful body, he’s still devastating. Even if he is barely holding it together.
Like me.
I try to ignore those crystal blue eyes that used to look at me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered.
They still look at me that way now, actually. Even from across the room.
I turn my attention to Ronan as he takes his seat across from Alexei.
“Gentlemen.” My voice is steady. “Thank you for coming. Let’s get started.”
I pull out my laptop and review which ports, which routes, which territories belong to whom. Alexei pushes for more but I hold strong in exactly how much I’m willing to bend.
“You’re no longer negotiating with someone who has no rights to our businesses,” I remind Alexei.
Ronan winces a bit at that. He pretty much stays quiet through the conversation, agreeing to terms that keep the Molloys in their original territory with no expansion.
I refuse to let my eyes betray me by glancing over at Lochlan, but I feel his searing gaze on me the entire time I am speaking.
My skin prickles with awareness. Every time he shifts in his seat. Every time I catch movement in my periphery. I know exactly where he is in the room at all times, like my body has its own tracking system that I can’t turn off.
I hate it. I hate that he still has this effect on me.
By the time we finalize the terms, my jaw aches so hard from clenching, I’m afraid my teeth might crack.
When the deal is done, we stand up from our seats and I shake hands with both Ronan and Alexei. Alexei leaves first, his men falling into step behind him. Ronan lingers, exchanging a few words with one of my security guys.
With shaking fingers, I stuff my laptop back into my bag, keeping my eyes on my shoes.
“Adriana.”
Oh God, that voice. It still has the power to make my entire body hum.
I stop but I don’t look up.
“Please. Just give me a minute.”
One of my guys moves in Lochlan’s direction. Bobby, the one Lochlan elbowed the other day outside my parents’ house. His eyes glitter with anger and it’s clear he wants another chance to throw Lochlan into his truck. I hold up a hand. “Bobby, it’s fine.”
He hesitates, then steps back with a nod.
I turn to face Lochlan, bracing myself for what I’ll see.
Exhaustion is etched into every line of his face. But his eyes are clear and determined. Not defeated in the least. He’s always been so damn relentless, and now is no exception.
“You look tired,” I say, folding my arms over my chest.
“I haven’t been sleeping.” He shrugs. “I can’t eat. I can’t think about anything except you.”
“That’s not my problem,” I say with a lift of my chin.
“I know.” He takes a step closer. My knees wobble but I hold my ground. “I’m not here to make excuses. What I did was wrong. I should have told you about the gala. I should have warned you. I was trying to protect my brothers, but I—”
“Chose them over me.”
“Yes.” No hesitation. “And I will regret that for the rest of my life.”
My chest aches. It’s a familiar pain, one I’ve become intimately acquainted with since I overheard his conversation with Eamon.
“Lochlan.” I drop my voice. “You told me you would never lie to me. That I could trust you. And stupidly, I believed you, going against every instinct I had.”
“I know.” The flicker of sadness in his eyes grabs hold of my heart, somehow finding a path through all the barbed wire and disappointment.
“And then I found out you’d been keeping that secret from me the whole time we’ve known each other. That you watched me fall apart over my father knowing you could have prevented it.”
“Adriana—”
I press my fingertips to my temples, panicked at the thought that the rising sob in my chest will erupt in front of him. “I can’t do this.” I shake my head and step back. “I can’t let myself trust you again. I won’t survive being wrong about you again.”
The words hang between us like a guillotine blade hovering overhead. His jaw tightens, fingers clenching into tight fists.
“I love you,” he says, his voice cracking.
My throat tightens. I swallow past it, but the growing lump slowly chokes me.
“I know you do,” I rasp, my eyes burning. And I mean it. That’s the worst part. “But it’s just not enough.”
I turn and walk toward the door. My security guys take their positions next to me.
“Adriana, please—”
Bobby’s eyes flash and he moves around me. “Make a move, Molloy,” he hisses. “Please give me an excuse to fuck you up.”
Lochlan raises his hands in the air and steps back.
I turn on my heel and walk out of the restaurant, leaving Lochlan Molloy in my rearview mirror.
Once I’m in the backseat of my car, I let my eyes float closed.
My hands are trembling. My heart is pounding. And there’s a tightness in my chest that won’t ease up no matter how many deep breaths I suck in.
I told him love wasn’t enough. I told him I couldn’t trust him.
I told him exactly what I needed to tell him to protect myself.
So why does it feel like I just made the biggest mistake of my life?
The car pulls away from the curb. I press my palm flat against my chest, trying to slow my heartbeat.
He’ll give up eventually. He has to. No one fights this hard forever.
Deep down, I know it’s not true. Lochlan doesn’t give up. He doesn’t back down. He camps outside buildings and fights through security and writes letter after letter even when I won’t open them.
He’s not going to stop.
And part of me doesn’t know if I want him to.
Luna is pacing the kitchen at Mom’s house when I get back there after the meeting.
She takes one look at my face and her expression morphs from concern to fury in about half a second.
“Oh my God, you look terrible. What happened?”
I pull out a chair and drop into it before covering my face with my hands. “He was at the meeting.”
“Who? Lochlan?” She drops to her knees next to me. “He showed up to the meeting with the Kozlovs? Why the hell would he do that?”
“Ronan brought him. He wanted to talk.”
Luna straightens up and stalks over to the refrigerator. With a snort, she pulls open the door. A few seconds later, she nudges my hands with a bottle of Pellegrino. “Here, drink this.”
I unscrew the top and take a long sip of the bubbly liquid. “Thanks.
She stands in front of me, her arms tight over her chest. “And you talked to him?”
“Yes. Just for a minute. Then I left.”
Luna starts to pace again, looking a lot like a caged animal.
She’s always been like this… fiery, protective, ready to burn down anyone who hurts the people she loves.
She’s flighty and carefree to a point, that point being an attack on her family.
When we were kids, she once punched a boy twice her size for making fun of my braces.
“I despise them,” she says through clenched teeth. “All of them. The whole family.”
“Luna—”
“Lochlan lied to you for months. His father tried to have our dad killed. His brother Ronan spent years helping Eamon run his empire.” She stops pacing and whirls around to face me. “They’re all the same. Every single one of them.”
“Ronan helped save me. At the warehouse, remember?”
She makes a face. “Good for him. That doesn’t erase everything else.
” Her jaw sets. “I don’t care how sorry they act.
I don’t care if they send flowers or play nice at family meetings.
The Molloys are poison, Adriana. Every last one of them.
You’re better off without Lochlan in your life.
I know it may hurt now, but it’ll save you worse heartache in the long run. ”
I don’t say anything. I can’t.
Because part of me knows she’s right. And part of me is terrified she isn’t.