Chapter 19
Nineteen
HARSH
I’ll marry Harsh.
The words seem to take life and fly around the room like plague ridden pigeons looking to peck their eyes out. Harsh closed his own, the sound of his coffin nailing itself shut resounding in his ears.
For a split second, no one spoke and then Chaitanya Gadde said, “Good. Then it’s final.”
And there went the last nail. He opened his eyes, his gaze meeting his brother’s shuttered ones. If he had hope of help, it would be from that quarter and nowhere else.
And sure enough, Agastya spoke, “It’s not final. We haven’t heard from Harsh yet.”
Relief flared through him. His brother was offering him an out, one he had to take. Because Harsh couldn’t marry. He couldn’t have what everyone took for granted. Family, kids, a home where someone looked at him like he mattered…This wasn’t his life. It never would be. Not for him.
He opened his mouth to speak but Raashi’s fingers dug into his arm, her blunt, short nails digging through the thin fabric of his sleeve and grazing skin. He glanced down at her, taking in her white, terrified face, eyes wide and frantic, a wordless plea swimming in them.
Harsh’s words died on his lips as he stared at the woman who’d time and again done battle with him, gone toe to toe on countless occasions both in public and in private. And never once had he seen her look like this, like a whipped puppy waiting for the switch to fall.
“Please,” she said, the word a broken, feathery whisper.
“Harsh?” Agastya prompted. “We’re waiting.”
His heart started a discordant, thunderous beat as he locked eyes with Raashi. No, he thought. No dammit. He wasn’t going to do this. He wasn’t noble like his brother and he wasn’t prone to fits of martyrdom like his sister. He was just himself. Happy go lucky, broken, lost…alone. Just the way he liked it. So, no.
“Harsh.” Agastya Anna sounded like he was running on the fumes of his patience.
“Okay,” he heard himself say. “Okay. We’ll get married.”
Relief washed over Raashi’s face, tears shimmering in those big, big eyes of hers. His heart expanded as she mouthed ‘thank you’ to him. He’d never been anybody’s hero before. He’d never really wanted to be. And yet, for once, in this second, it felt good to have someone look at him the way Raashi was looking at him right now.
Maybe, just maybe, he could be someone’s hero in real life. He could be her hero.
All around them people exploded into noise and motion. But Harsh and Raashi didn’t notice, their eyes still locked on each other. Until Harsh’s mother popped their little bubble.
“Forgotten to take elder’s blessings?” she asked, her voice brittle with annoyance for how everything had played out.
Harsh sighed. Clasping Raashi’s hand, he tugged her forward, touching first his father and then his mother’s feet before pivoting to her father. They were rewarded with stiff pats to their heads and gibberish mutters in the place of blessings.
“Dhanvanthri will be in touch to plan the wedding,” Raashi’s father said, sounding strangely exhausted and not in the least bit smug about his win.
“We’ll have a simple wedding.” Harsh’s father nodded, as if reassuring himself that his decision was sound. “Doesn’t have to be too elaborate.”
Of course, Harsh thought cynically. God forbid he warranted anything elaborate.
“It will be a celebration.” Veda spoke for the first time that evening. “A party to rival all parties and to celebrate two people I love with all my heart.”
“Hell yeah!” Harsh winked at his sister-in-law, staying in character. It wasn’t necessary. He didn’t need the big party. He just wanted someone to care enough about him to throw one.
“No.” Suryakanth Kodela was not going to be dictated to by his daughter in law, even if she was his favourite member of the family. Which said something about his feelings for the rest of the family, the ones he shared blood bonds with. “Simple. Fast. Private.”
Chaitanya Gadde nodded. “We’ll share the pictures with the media post the event. We can have a small, family wedding.”
“That’s decided then.” Harsh’s father crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the back of a recliner.
Veda glared at Agastya who sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes with the balls of his thumbs. He looked ready to walk away from this room and probably just keep walking until the end of time.
“Nothing is decided,” he said, his voice firm and clear. “Not until we hear what Harsh and Raashi want.”
His mother stared at him like he’d sprouted horns. “We didn’t ask you what you wanted when you married Veda.”
“That’s because all I wanted was to marry Veda,” he said, giving his wife a nauseatingly sappy look. “I didn’t care about the rest.”
“Aww.” Harsh dragged the word out, blowing a kiss at his brother who frowned ferociously at him. “You’re the sweetest.”
“Shut up,” Agastya snapped. “You’ve done enough damage for one night.”
Ahh yes. That he had. Damage. Harsh had not just damaged his life. He’d detonated it. All because he’d looked into big, big eyes and seen a reflection of himself looking like a hero.
He was an idiot. His professional life was all about being a hero. That should have been enough of a high. Did he need to play the role in his personal life too?
“Raashi.” Her father called out. “It’s time for us to go.”
Raashi let go of his arm and went to stand next to her father. Harsh flexed his hand, feeling strangely off kilter with her absence. He watched as they said their goodbyes to everyone in the room, embracing Veda tightly more than once.
And then they were gone and it was just his family. Harsh could feel the noose of judgement tightening around his neck. He cleared his throat and looked around.
“So, is anyone going to congratulate me?” he asked, forcing a lightheartedness to his tone that he really wasn’t feeling.
“Why are you like this?” his father asked, resignation saturating his every pore. “What did I ever do to deserve such a useless son?”
“Ahh. So, no congratulations then?” Harsh prodded, still grinning insolently.
His parents walked out, not bothering to look back or acknowledge his question. Harsh’s throat tightened. He was alone with his brother and sister-in-law. It was a lot harder to fake life around the people you loved than the ones you didn’t really care about.
“What the fuck, Harsh?” Agastya Anna asked. “What the actual fuck?”
Harsh exhaled. “Fair question,” he acknowledged.
“Would you like to answer it?” Agastya looked done. Done with the day, done with his brother, done with the shit Harsh had just dumped at all their feet.
“The thing is,” Harsh said carefully. “I don’t think I have an answer.”
Veda came to stand beside Agastya, leaning into him, offering support and comfort wordlessly. His arm went around her drawing her in closer.
“Things spiraled,” Harsh confessed. “The night got out of hand.”
“Which wouldn’t have happened if the two of you had come straight home like we asked you to.” Agastya ignored Veda’s murmured ‘easy’ and straightened. “Do you ever think of anyone or anything but yourself.”
Harsh ignored the stab of hurt that seemed to slice through his layers of indifference like a hot knife through butter. He had thought of someone else today. He’d thought of Raashi. But he couldn’t say that out aloud.
“No,” he grinned, his carefree mask sliding into place. “Guess not.”
Agastya studied him, his gaze sharpening at whatever he saw in Harsh’s face. “Well, I guess you’d better start practicing then,” he said finally. “You’re going to have to think of your wife going forward.”
Wife. His wife. The word was a sledgehammer to his heart. What the fuck was Harsh going to do with a wife ? What the fuck did he know about being someone’s husband? Not just someone….Raashi’s.
Oh my God, he was going to marry someone who would cheerfully murder him in his sleep. Or better yet, poison his protein shakes. Panic swarmed his senses, making him blink rapidly even as he rubbed a hand over his erratic yet thunderous heartbeat.
He was marrying Raashi Gadde. God help him.