Chapter 20
Twenty
RAASHI
She lay in her bed, in the dark, feeling feverish and fidgety, her mind going in a hundred different directions. She’d set her air conditioner to ‘arctic’ but her body still seemed to be flaming hot. She tossed her comforter off and pulled her legs closer to her chest, trying to huddle into a little ball.
It didn’t help. Nothing helped. The world was closing in on her and she had no one to blame but herself. She should have stayed in the US. None of this would have happened if she had done that. Instead, she’d craved being closer to home, to her siblings, to the only people who loved her…and look where it had gotten her.
Trapped. She was trapped. And she was never going to find her way out of this.
Raashi’s phone pinged, the screen lighting up in the dark room. She looked down and saw ‘Satan’ flashing. Harsh was calling her. She declined it, not feeling up to the confrontation. She’d find her second wind soon enough. Right now, she wanted to wallow.
A second later, a message landed, lighting up the screen again.
Why?
A simple question but one for which she had no answer, at least none that she could voice aloud. Why did she agree to marry Harsh? Could she tell him, she wondered? Could she tell Harsh the truth? Didn’t she owe it to him given how she’d steamrolled him into marriage?
Her stomach churned as she tried to scrunch into an even smaller ball. Maybe, she thought, jackknifing upright, it wasn’t too late. She could just grab her passport and leave on the next flight out. They couldn’t drag her back from the States…could they?
She scrambled over to the chest of drawers in the corner of her spacious bedroom and yanked the top drawer open. All her travel documents were neatly filed and placed there. She pulled her passport out and riffled through it, mind running like a hamster on a wheel.
“Raashi.”
She squealed, startled out of her rat-deserting-a-sinking-ship plans, and flung her passport. It collided with a loud thunk against Ram’s forehead.
“Bloody hell, Raashi.” Ram grabbed the passport before it could fall to the floor, his other hand rubbing his forehead. “Haven’t you caused enough mayhem for one day?”
Annoyed and guilty as hell, she mumbled a sorry before crawling back into bed. There would be no running away with her elder brother looming in the doorway like a bodyguard on steroids.
Ram walked into the room and sat down on the side of her bed. “What the hell happened, Raash?”
She shrugged, picking at the corner of her comforter and evading his eyes. Her brother was in courtroom mode. It was really hard to not spill every secret she haboured in her dark, little heart. But she couldn’t do that…not to her brother who was one of only two people who’d seen good in her.
“We ran into Anant,” she told him instead.
Ram’s expression went from annoyed to feral rage in the blink of an eye. “Did he approach you?” he asked, his voice eerily calm and in direct contrast to the fury darkening his expression.
Raashi nodded. “And he kept making insinuations about Harsh and our relationship being fake, and it got us all riled up.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Raashi asked indignantly. “What do you mean why? He was saying our relationship was fake.”
“It was.”
Oh right. Raashi clamped her mouth shut.
“But it’s not anymore.”
Also correct. Raashi could feel her hot flush rising again, turning her into a little smouldering volcano.
Her phone pinged again but Raashi didn’t look at it. She didn’t need the pressure of Harsh’s messages right now. She had her brother’s piercing gaze to deal with.
“Explain to me why you’re marrying a man you detest.”
“You always say he’s a good guy!” she protested.
“He is. But he’s never been a guy you liked. What changed?” Ram was relentless.
“He was the lesser of two evils,” she blurted out. “Nanna was talking about marrying me off to Anant Madhavan.”
Ram went still, dangerously, volcanically still. “I would never have let him do that. It’s time we told him the whole story.”
The whole story, she thought hysterically. Even Ram didn’t know the whole story.
“No. It’s enough. He already holds me responsible for the partnership breaking up and for Anant setting up a rival channel. He doesn’t need to know more.”
“Raashi you are not marrying a man you hate because you’re too scared to tell our father about his asshole ex-partner.”
“I don’t hate him.”
Ram froze. “I beg your pardon?”
“I don’t hate Harsh.” She went back to fiddling with the edges of her comforter, using it to avoid her brother’s perceptive gaze.
“So, you want to marry Harsh?” Ram sounded absolutely bewildered. She honestly couldn’t blame him. She bewildered herself.
“Not really.” Raashi risked a small glance at her brother’s confused face before looking away. “But like I said he was the safer option.”
“Safe? You think Harsh Kodela is safe?” Ram laughed, a disbelieving chuckle.
Yes. Strangely, the more Raashi thought about it, the more she realised she did think Harsh was safe. At least that’s how he made her feel. And given her past, it wasn’t something she undervalued. Raashi knew safe meant everything to her.
Ram’s laughter was growing, a belly laugh that made even Raashi’s lips tug upward into a smile.
“What’s so funny?” A new voice intruded into their conversation.
Raashi looked up and into Harsh’s beautiful deep brown eyes, as he lounged against the doorframe of her bedroom. Her stomach swooped and lurched alarmingly. And she stopped smiling.