31. Cale
31
CALE
L uca’s eyes watch me drag the chair closer to Richie’s kingly desk. His posture is loose and casual. His elbow leans on the arm of the chair. I can decipher nothing from the look on his face and that strikes dread into the center of my soul.
I recognize the cold mask he’s wearing. The one that shutters all truth and emotion. I’ve worn it myself for years.
Richie doesn’t waste time beating around the bush. “Carmine, you’re my nephew and I love you. But lately it’s become clear you’re not in the game anymore. You no longer have what it takes. For whatever reason, your instincts are fucking gone. And I just can’t have that around.”
My eyes flicker to my brother. He stares back in stony silence.
Richie sighs and his chair squeaks as he shifts his fat ass. “Look, there’s no hard feelings. You’re the son of my beloved sister. I know that you know better than to cross me in any way. Luca agrees that you can be trusted to lock up everything you’ve seen and heard and never open that door again. So I’m trusting you.”
I’m tired of listening to his flowery words. “Can you just tell me what the fuck this all means?”
“It means you’re out,” Luca says in a flat voice. “You’re free to leave New York at your earliest convenience.”
“What does this have to do with you, Luca?”
Richie answers the question. “Luca is coming home. With all his smarts and his commitment to the family, he’ll someday be a powerful boss.” Richie’s smile of pride is directed at my brother. “But first he’s got to learn the ropes. That starts today. First, we’re settling all old business.”
Just like that I’ve become ‘old business’. Under different circumstances I’d be thrilled to walk out of here and never look back.
“One more thing,” Richie says. “Our boy is getting married to Callista Barone, sealing the partnership between our families.”
This just keeps getting more fucking surreal. Not only has Richie lured my brother into his sick web, he’s convinced Luca to enter into a sham union that will ensure Luca’s loyalty.
This was the plan Richie originally cooked up for me. Now he’s getting what he wants anyway.
The bleak truth is that everything I’ve done to keep Luca out of Richie’s crosshairs has been for nothing.
Richie’s expression indicates he’s pleased with the turn of events. Of course he is. One way or another, Richie Amato always wins.
“Look at it this way,” Richie says. “Now you don’t need to convince Sadie to move back to New York.”
We lock eyes. It’s impossible to know if he ever understood the truth about my marriage to Sadie. Either way, it doesn’t matter.
“I’d like to speak to my brother alone,” I say.
Richie raises an eyebrow at Luca.
Luca nods.
“I’ll allow it,” Richie says as if he’s some benevolent god. He climbs heavily to his feet and limps toward the door. “I could use a plate of food anyway.”
Once he’s waddled his way out and closed the door behind him, I face my little brother.
Luca has quickly abandoned the stoic hardshell he wore in front of Richie. He now looks downright remorseful.
“Cale, I’m really sorry it went down like this,” he says. “I know you feel blindsided.”
“No fucking shit I feel blindsided. What the hell are you doing? This isn’t you.”
He raises a stubborn chin. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’m sick of being all alone in exile. I miss the family. I belong here. You belong with Sadie.”
“This isn’t about my wife. This is between you and me.”
His smile is sad. “You’ve always looked after me. Always. Did you think I didn’t realize that? Now it’s time for me to do something for you. You’re free to go. Live the life you deserve to have. Be happy with the woman you love.”
Despite all my scheming, I’ve been outsmarted by Richie. And Luca too. Their motivations are completely different but the outcome will still be the same.
My brother has effectively bought my freedom. In the process he has sacrificed his own. And there’s not a thing I can do to change this.
On his desk, Richie keeps a photo of our mother, taken the day of her high school graduation. Right now the frame is tilted just far enough for me to see the smile on her face.
“Always look out for your brother. And Cale, there’s one more thing I want you to know…”
“I can’t leave you here,” I say to Luca.
“You have to,” he replies. “It’s done.”
I reach for my mother’s photo. Years ago she posed, hopeful in her cap and gown. She would have been shocked to know that as she smiled with such ease, the photo would someday witness a heartbreaking moment between the two sons she didn’t yet know she’d have.
I look into my brother’s eyes, the same shade of green as my eyes.
“You don’t remember them much, do you?” I ask.
“A little bit,” he says. “I wish I remembered them more.”
There’s no way to sum up the people who created us in a couple of sentences. The best I can do is share some of the little pieces that no one else knows but me.
“Our mother cherished her morning cup of herbal tea and hummed off key while she was cooking. I don’t think she even realized she was doing it. Our father had a passion for fixing up old cars and would empty his wallet for anyone who was down on their luck. They thought they’d never be able to have a second child. You were the happiest surprise of their lives. You loved to be carried on our father’s shoulders. You wouldn’t go to sleep at night until our mother read you a story.” I hand him the picture. “We were a family. Don’t ever forget where you came from, Luca.”
Luca accepts the picture. His lip trembles as he studies the young face of our mother. But when he looks up, his eyes are clear and determined. “I won’t forget, Cale.”
Even before I make the next suggestion I know it’s hopeless. I have to try anyway.
“You could ditch all this bullshit and come with me to Colorado. Sadie would love that. I’m sure they need lawyers out there too. We don’t need all this. We could build something new, us Connelly brothers.”
Luca carefully places our mother’s picture back where it belongs. “Take care of each other, you and Sadie.”
He turns his head, his way of saying his decision is final. Now he’s just waiting for me to leave.
All that’s left to do is walk out. I have no choice. Like it or not, Luca is a man and there’s nothing I can do to change his mind.
The pinkie ring that was a gift from Richie, meant to be worn as a sign of my status, is removed and left on his desk. As an afterthought, I pull my gun out of the holster and leave that behind as well.
It feels strange, walking out there as an unarmed civilian.
Out in the hallway, Richie is balancing a plate on his palm and stuffing his face while flanked by Franco and Brisetti. They all look up when I enter the hallway.
“Take a plate before you go,” Richie says. “No sense going out into the world hungry.”
Franco and Brisetti snicker. Assholes. They get ignored.
“Goodbye, Richie,” I say to my uncle.
He winks. “So long, kid. Don’t be a stranger. We’re still family.”
Not really. I know it and so does he.
Richie resumes eating his food. Franco and Brisetti resume their ass kissing.
There aren’t many people left in the house now. I find my aunt in the kitchen. Her two daughters are in there with her. The eldest, Bianca, just learned last week that she’ll be expecting her first child. Everyone is hoping for a son.
And round and round it goes, into the next generation and beyond.
“I’m leaving, Aunt Donna.”
She looks up, surprised to find me in the doorway. My aunt has been nothing but good to me and my brother since the day we were dropped on her doorstep. For decades she has raised a family in this big house and gladly played hostess. All the while, she has cheerfully ignored what her husband does and where her good life comes from.
But Donna knows more than she lets on. It’s written on her face as she gazes at me with fond sadness. “Goodbye, Carmine. Give my love to Sadie.”
“I will. And thank you.”
None of the men standing around outside the front door meet my eye. I don’t care. I’m an outsider now and the rules of this world don’t apply to me anymore.
The only sentimental feeling at hand as I coast down the long driveway and watch the house get smaller in the rearview window is the knowledge that I’m leaving my brother behind. I doubt I’ll ever be welcome here again.
Next door, the Wingate place looks like a gothic shadow. It’s hard to believe Sadie grew up there. She doesn’t belong in that house at all.
The drive back to the city is done on autopilot. I’m not worried about Richie making a move against me. He has no reason to. If he did, he’d lose Luca and he won’t risk that. Luca is the son he’s always wanted. Now Richie has him.
After thinking about it, I decide there isn’t much in my apartment worth taking. Even most of my clothes won’t do me any good on a ranch. I fill a suitcase with all the casual items in my closet, including the Snowy Rock hoodie that Sadie gave me. In a second suitcase I pack my father’s paperback book collection, framed family photos and the record player I bought to play Elton John’s Greatest Hits.
My two potted plants are wilting thanks to lack of attention. I carry them across the hall to the elderly pair of sisters who are pleased to take them in. Sadie will appreciate the fact that I’ve made arrangements to save the plants. It’s exactly what she would do.
My neighbors receive the key after I explain I’ll be leaving town and putting the apartment on the market. They are nice ladies. They wish me well and ask if I want to come inside for some macaroni and cheese.
I thank them but explain that I really need to catch the next available flight.
I’m going home to my wife.