Chapter 19
NINETEEN
WHITE NOISE
Wasp
In the rear of the car, from behind a veil of white noise, I watched Taylor.
With quiet efficiency, she drove us to the Italian/Swiss border, buying the toll pass that we needed for Switzerland’s motorways before taking us into our third country in about as many days.
She brought food, though I couldn’t eat, and throughout the drive, she’d sent wee glances my way but made little conversation.
Almost as if she didn’t want me to miss out before I got myself under control.
I needed exercise. A run. Through trees. Alongside a river. That was what I’d do at home to focus myself and clear some of the wool.
The other option was sex. But I didn’t think Ally would appreciate the show.
Another hour on, and Ally suggested trading up on the driving. Taylor agreed, pulling over, and, to my huge relief, she joined me in the back, clipping herself into the middle seat.
“Sorry to treat you like a chauffeur, Ally, but I have some work to do and a man to snuggle,” she said, balling her ponytail into a bun in a way that showed she meant business.
Ally shrugged. “Lucky the voices in my head make interesting conversation. I’ll get us into Germany, and we’ll stop when we get hungry, aye? Then we can work out where to spend the night.”
“Perfect. Let’s do it,” Taylor agreed, ignoring his idiocy.
As my brother drove, she took out her phone, plugged it into a charger on the seat, then busied herself with what looked like office work. All the while, gently pressing into my side.
She didn’t chat.
She made no demands of me.
I could fucking weep for how good it felt to just be able to rest.
For the next couple of hours, I let her warmth sink in and alternated closing my eyes and watching either her or the scenery.
Lakes. Towns with unusual architecture. Mountains everywhere and road tunnels through them.
We left Switzerland and crossed into Austria, keeping on going until we swept straight through into Germany.
After a total of six hours travelling, at Ulm, a small city in Baden-Württemberg, Ally got off the motorway and drove us into the winding medieval side streets.
Half-timbered houses lined our route, and Taylor stopped her work, eyes wide at the pretty scene.
I caught sight of a cathedral and restaurants. Many, many restaurants.
It must be nearing dinner time. My stomach growled.
I hadn’t eaten all day.
Then, with a lurch, Ally halted the car, reversing into a just-appeared parking space on the busy high street.
He killed the engine and twisted in his seat.
“We just passed a burger place, and I’m about to die if I don’t eat.
Orders, please. I’ll get food to take away, then we’ll find somewhere quiet to eat. ”
“Meat,” I uttered, surprised to find my voice working after so many hours.
For good measure, I pointed at Taylor, extending my Neanderthal persona. “Woman.”
She burst out in laughter. Relief shone in her eyes, and I felt like the worst kind of man.
“Burgers sound great,” she said to my twin. “Cold drinks. Fries. Stick the works on them.”
“Got it. Sit tight, kids.” My brother left us for his mission, and I stared at the lass.
She waited for a beat then gestured to her phone. “I’ve been working on something for Mathilda. Sorry if I’ve been boring.”
“You’re perfect,” I muttered. Her, boring? Impossible.
“Yeah? Good to know.” Taylor eyed me, then, like she was coaxing a wild animal, held out her hand.
I took it, closing my eyes once more. Traffic whizzed by, my heart beat too fast, and my head hurt, but I had an anchor. My fingertips on her pulse. A slow and steady thrum, thrum that centred my wayward thoughts.
Ally returned, bringing the rich scent of food with him, then we were moving once more.
“I asked in the restaurant where we could go. They said we’re near the river Danube, and not far away is a swimming lake. It’s warm enough to be outdoors, and I thought the space would be good…” He trailed off, seeking input.
“Let’s do it,” Taylor agreed.
On the short drive, I sat forward, needing to get out of the car. When we stopped, I was scrambling from my seat, sliding the door open before Ally had even taken the keys from the engine. Then I paused and turned back to Taylor, trying to focus over the whooshing in my ears. “Gonna run.”
She nodded her understanding. “We’ll find you.”
I took off across the open ground. Fuck my stupid head. Fuck this shut down. “Argh,” I bit out to no one, flying through the thick trees along the only clear path. At the end, the track opened up on a lake.
Cool water.
At home, I’d jump straight into the loch.
Aye, this would have to do.
A deck stretched out into the deep. I jogged to the end and kicked off my shoes, shed my jeans and shirt. The gentle late-afternoon sunshine brushed my skin.
I stood in just the fucking boxer shorts I’d posed in at the audition.
Then I leapt.