17. Chrissy
17
CHRISSY
Cat reaches for my hand. “Talk to me. I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” I tell her for the third time. I give her a big smile, thinking that’s going to convince her, but I should realize by now she’s not falling for it.
She squeezes my hand. “I don’t believe you. And I know everyone is grieving for Ledger, but it’s more than that.”
When I don’t answer her, she leans toward me. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
I force a smile. “I know I can.” I look around the Whistler. “I thought we were coming for the five dollar appetizers.”
Right at that moment, Malcolm comes over with a tray of food. “I’ve got fried pickles, mozzarella sticks, nachos, chips and spinach dip, and naked chicken wings.”
My eyes widen at all the food. “Dang, Cat, is all this for us?”
She laughs. “I have a grown man and teenage boy at home that will happily eat whatever we don’t.”
I nod and try not to let my jealousy show. I’m so happy that Holden and Cat found each other. I remind them every chance I get that I played a big part in them getting together since I am the one that asked Cat to be Holden’s physical therapist when he hurt his shoulder. They are so happy together, and Cat’s son, Cole, is a perfect fit for our family.
We both dig into our food, and for a second, I think she’s going to forget she’s worried about me, but I should know better.
She takes a bite of the mozzarella stick, stretching the cheese with a laugh. She’s smiling as she chews, and then she laughs at me. “Spill it, Chrissy.”
I shrug as I take a bite of the chicken. I make a big to-do of chewing and swallowing it. “I’m okay. Really. I mean everything with Ledger and knowing I’ll never see him again and then work is crazy and I’m worried about all my brothers. It’s just… a lot.”
“And?” she asks.
I grab a fried pickle, dip it into the ranch, and pop it into my mouth. “Isn’t that enough?”
“Well, after the funeral when everyone was at our house for dinner…” She lets her voice trail off.
“What? Just say it.”
She scrunches up her nose. “It’s just… I don’t know… you and Gabe seemed off. I don’t know, are you two okay?”
I dip a chip into the spinach dip and eat it as if I’ve never eaten before. “Wow. This is good. Did you try this?”
She gives me a pointed look. “Yeah, I’ve had the spinach dip here at least ten times, Chrissy. If you don’t want to answer me, just tell me it’s none of my business.”
I stare at her, and she waves her hand between us. “Forget it. You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”
I shrug my shoulders. “What are you talking about?”
“You and Gabe.”
Like a fish, I open my mouth and close it. “Uh, what about him?”
I swear she rolls her head as hard as she rolls her eyes. “Oh, I dunno. The fact he loves you.”
I sit up a little straighter. The funeral was a few days ago, and I haven’t been avoiding Gabe, but he still hasn’t been around much. It seems everyone at the fire department has been sick, and he’s working nonstop. I’m worried about him. Usually I would have checked on him, and I’m feeling guilty that I haven’t. “Of course he loves me. I love him… and my brothers.”
She holds a hand up. “So help me if you say he’s your brother, I’m going to scream. I can barely be in the same room as you two.”
“What do you mean by that?”
She wiggles her eyebrows at me. “You two are a whole vibe.”
“We’re friends. Best friends and he’s always looked out for me.”
“Yeah, but—”
She stops talking and is staring over my shoulder at the front door. I turn to see what’s got her attention, and my stomach does a flip when I see Gabe coming in. He goes straight to the bar, and that’s when I realize he’s not alone. There’s a woman with him, and she’s smiling up at him. It’s like a punch to my gut, and even though I try to act like I’m not affected by seeing him with another woman, I am.
“Gabe!” Cat hollers across the restaurant.
I half-whisper, half-yell at her, “Cat, no! He’s here on a date or something.”
Cat looks at me like I’ve grown two heads just as Gabe and his friend comes over to us. “Hey, you two.”
He hugs Cat and me, and when he raises up, he gestures to the woman next to him. “Lainey, this is Cat and Chrissy. Lainey is a rookie. She just got transferred from the Jasper FD.”
I try to smile, but I’m almost queasy as I look at the two of them. Thankfully, Cat takes over the conversation. “So you’re new to Whiskey Run? That’s exciting! Are you here permanently or just helping out?”
Lainey looks at Gabe and smiles. “Permanently.”
“Gabe, food’s ready!” Malcolm calls out from behind the bar.
Gabe gives him a thumbs-up before he tells us, “I’m going to grab the food. I’ll be right back.”
Lainey stays with us, and Cat uses the time to get to know her. Usually I’m friendly to people, but all I can do is sit here shell shocked. “So how are you liking Whiskey Run?”
Lainey looks over at the bar at Gabe and then smiles at Cat. “Really good. Gabriel has been amazing and has been showing me the ropes. He’s something else.”
Cat nods in agreement. “Yeah, Gabe is one of the good ones.”
My throat feels thick, and all I can do is nod my head in agreement. I recognize the look Lainey is giving Gabe because I’ve looked at him that way for more than half my life. He’s one of those people that is just fun to be around. He makes you feel special and like you’re one of the most important people in the world.
Gabe is smiling when he walks back over to us, but his smile falters when he looks at me. He lifts up the bag he’s carrying. “The food is all ready. We should probably get back before Rich tries to fix something and everyone gets food poisoning.”
Lainey laughs like it’s some kind of inside joke, and I can’t hide the reaction on my face. Gabe puts a hand on my shoulder. “You doing okay? I know you’ve been busy at work.”
I feel guilty for an instant because I have been busy at work, but I should have been talking to him and returning his phone calls. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like I screwed up our friendship, and I should be working to get things back to the way they were, but I just can’t. It hurts to see him. “I’m good, yeah.”
Lainey grabs one of the bags from Gabe. “Here, let me help you.”
He hands her the bag, and I watch as their hands touch and Lainey laughs. Kill me now.
They tell us bye, and Gabe tells me he’ll call me later, but as soon as they walk out of the bar, I push my plate away and bang my forehead on the table.
Cat just continues to eat, watching as I make a spectacle of myself. “Ready to talk now?”
It’s not until I raise my head and she sees the tears in my eyes that the smile on her face drops and she looks at me worriedly. “Oh honey…. Talk to me. What’s going on in your head?”
I grab a napkin and wipe at my eyes. “Cat, I messed up. I messed up so bad, and now there’s no fixing it.”
She moves around the table to sit next to me instead of across from me. “How did you mess up?”
“I had sex with Gabe.”
She sits up, and I swear she looks as if I just told her I was moving to Spain or something. “I’m sorry, what?”
I nod. “Yeah, I pretty much convinced Gabe to have sex with me, and now everything is messed up.”
She pushes the hair off my face. “How is it messed up?”
“He was my best friend, and I’ve messed it all up. I threw it all away for one night of sex. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It was good. Like, really good. Oh my God, tell me to shut up.”
She doesn’t seem to understand. “But he’s still your best friend.”
I roll my eyes at her. “Cat, he’s not going to tell me no, and now it’s all weird and I’ve lost my best friend.”
She covers my hand with hers. “I think you’re the one making it weird because that man is so in love with you, anyone and everyone can see it.”
I point at the door that Gabe and Lainey just walked out of. “He was on a date—”
She cuts me off and practically blurts out, “He wasn’t on a date. You’re crazy.”
Malcolm comes over. “You ladies need anything?”
I shake my head. “I’m stuffed. ”
Cat smiles. “Can we get some to-go boxes?”
“I’ll grab some and be right back.”
As soon as he’s gone, Cat reaches for me. “Gabe loves you.”
I sniff. “I wanted more… I thought we would be together, but the next day was weird, and I told him I didn’t want to be an obligation to him, but I didn’t know.” I suck in a breath. “I didn’t know it would feel like this to see him with another woman.”
Cat’s just shaking her head. “He’s not with another woman. He was with a work colleague. He said they were picking up food. It was not a date.”
I point a thumb at the door. “Did you see the way she was looking at him?”
She rolls her eyes. “No, because I was too busy watching the way he was looking at you. He loves you, Chrissy.”
“Here you go, ladies. Let me know if you need anything else. Cat, I put in some of the secret sauce Holden and Cole love.”
“You’re too good to us, Malcolm. Thank you, I’m sure they’re going to enjoy it, and I know I will because I won’t have to cook later.”
He nods and walks away. As soon as he goes, Cat leans toward me. “Listen to me. Gabriel Gray loves you. Don’t throw away your friendship and the future I know you two can have because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared! Why does everyone think I’m scared? I’m not scared.”
She tilts her head at me. “Who else thinks you’re scared?”
“Gabe.”
“Right, well, honey, if there’s ever a man worthing fighting for, it’s one that loves you the way he does. You need to talk to him.”
I stand up and grab the bill off the table. Cat tries to take it from me, but I hold it out of reach. “No way, I got this. I owe you for the therapy session.”
“You never owe me. I just want you happy, sis.”
I put my hand over my chest. “Sis? I like that.”
I go up to the cashier to pay before I start crying again. I know Cat is right. I need to talk to Gabe and fix things. And I will as soon as I get the image of him and Lainey out of my head.