46. Theá
Chapter forty-six
Theá
“B ut why can’t we just go to the mall?” Noelle asks.
“We have to wait for the security team to get back with Pierre.” I sigh, repeating myself for the umpteenth time.
“Even when we were with Dad, we could at least go to the mall,” she argues.
“Yeah, because Pierre drove and security followed us everywhere.”
“I hate it here, Theá. Why can’t you see how fucked up this all is? I didn’t want this—you did. I want my life back.”
“I’m sorry, Noelle. I know this is rough, and it’s a big adjustment, but I need you to trust me.”
“Rough? Rough is the final exams, I’m supposed to be writing right now. This is hell!” she yells before stomping out of the kitchen.
I place both hands on the counter and sigh. The afternoon sun is streaming into the kitchen, and if it weren’t for Cape Town’s wind reminding me it’s spring, I’d believe it was summer.
“Give her some time, she’ll come around.” My head shoots up at the sound of the voice, and I spot Kaia creeping in the doorway. “Sorry for eavesdropping. I was coming in to get a glass of wine.”
“No, it’s okay. She wasn’t exactly trying to keep the conversation private,” I scoff.
“Can I pour you a glass? You can tell me about it if you’d like?” she offers, and I nod.
“I wonder if this is what mothers feel like,” I say as I take a seat on a bar stool.
Kaia chuckles as she holds up two bottles of wine, and I point to the gorgeous Chardonnay.
“I know my mom always told me raising my sister and I was like hell, so yes, I assume it is.” Kaia chuckles.
“I just don’t know what to do or say anymore. I thought after this last month that she’d eventually adapt and come to terms with all of this.”
“She’s what? Twenty-one? I don’t blame her; her world probably still revolves around whatever celebrity is at the forefront of pop culture. This is the end of her world currently, and you are the reason. She doesn’t hate you—she just hates the situation and how little control she has.”
“What do you think I should do?” I ask as she passes me the glass.
“Let her make some choices. Maybe have her plan out her ideal schedule for going out, and I’ll get the security team to structure their schedules around it.”
“You’d do that?” My eyes light up as I meet hers.
Kaia shrugs me off. “In all honesty, I told Pierre you should each have your own guard to make getting around a bit easier, but he’s insisting that you all stick together.”
“I think he’s just hoping we’ll get Stockholm syndrome and stop fighting.”
We both laugh, and she shrugs. “Maybe it’ll work.”
The laughter dies down, and I take a sip of the wine, letting the liquid linger in my mouth as my taste buds decipher all the different notes.
“Thank you. For everything. I don’t know what you’re getting out of all of this, but I just want you to know how much I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome. Trust me, I’m getting more than enough out of this, so you don’t have to worry about it. C’mon, let’s go watch some Beyond the Limit .” She grabs a few different snacks and another bottle of wine before heading to the living room.
For the next two hours, I do nothing but eat snacks, get wine drunk, and die of laughter at just how drama-filled Formula 1 really is. Maybe Antonio was too quick to judge, this is so interesting.
Fuck.
I’ve been doing really well with not thinking about him until right now.
“Hey, are you okay? You aren’t even reacting to how dramatic Whylde is being right now. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m okay.” I shake my head and try to refocus on the TV, but Kaia hits pause.
“No, don’t do that. We’ve bonded over dramatic men, you can’t lie to me now. What’s going on?”
“There was…this guy back in France.”
“The one you were married to?” My head shoots up, and I stare at her with wide eyes. “You’re wearing a wedding ring, I just assumed.”
“Yeah. It was an arranged marriage, and we didn’t get along at first, but towards the end…”
“You fell for him?” she asks with a knowing smile.
“Something like that.”
“What happened?” Kaia asks, and I don’t know how to even start formulating my answer.
“To make a long story short, when we were in Paris, it was because we ran away and my father lured him in. I don’t even know if he’s alive right now. A part of me doesn’t think he is.”
As the words leave my lips, I slap my hand over my mouth. The thought has been lingering in my mind for the last few days, but I haven’t ever said it aloud.
“Don’t think like that. I don’t know for sure, but I think you should have hope.” Kaia leans back on the couch. Hope. The only thing we have at the end of the day.
“Even if he is alive, I don't think he'd ever forgive me.”
We both sit in silence for a bit, Kaia just staring up at the ceiling and me just looking at the ring on my left hand.
“I’m sorry for ruining the mood, I should probably head to bed.” I stand as Kaia simply lifts her head and looks at me.
“I’m here whenever you want to talk. You can’t pretend you’re okay forever,” she says, and I nod.
“Thank you, Kaia. Goodnight.”
“Sweet dreams.”
Yeah, sweet. I haven’t had sweet dreams since that night in Paris. It’s been nightmare after nightmare every night since then, and when it’s not a nightmare, it’s just these depressing reminders of what his skin felt like against mine.
I shut the door to my room and make a bee-line straight to the balcony where I sit most nights until exhaustion eventually manages to catch up with my body. Sinking into the swing chair, I get comfortable under a blanket and just stare out at the ocean.
It’s silent aside from the waves, leaving just enough room for me to think without my thoughts running wild. Well, that’s on a usual night. Tonight, there’s no stopping them as they rampage through my head.
I pull out my phone and click on my gallery against my better judgement, scrolling through picture after picture of the two of us. Everything from selfies taken to secret pictures I’ve snapped of him when he wasn’t looking. The memories all stream back. I hold down my thumb on a live photo. Antonio’s laugh fills the air and my heart shatters into a million pieces. Tears stream down my face, and for the first time since the whole ordeal, I finally let myself feel it all. The regret, the pain, the love I’ve lost. Everything.
My ringtone cuts my mental breakdown short, and I eye the unknown number cautiously. Pierre made sure we got new phones and new local numbers the second we landed, so the only people who should have this number are Pierre, Noelle, Kaia, or someone from security.
“Hello?”
“So, you are alive.” My heart sinks as Kylian’s voice comes through the speaker.
I refuse to speak. Maybe if I stay silent, he’ll forget I spoke in the first place and hopefully continue thinking I’m missing.
“I won’t tell Dad. I just needed to know you were okay. I needed to say how sorry I am. I’m calling from a pay phone, so no one’s listening. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I’m sorry, Theá, for everything. You were right; this life is the worst thing I could’ve ever dreamt of, and I wish I listened to you.”
My tears return, but this time they’re not for me or Antonio. No, they’re for my little brother. The one sibling I couldn’t save no matter how much I tried.
“I should’ve listened to you.” His voice cracks. “I’m so, so sorry for everything, and I’m so glad you got out. I’ll do everything I can to make sure he never finds you. All of you. Because you all deserve more than this life ever has to offer. I hope you’re able to rebuild the life he took from you. Mom would be so proud of you.”
I gasp for air as I realise I’m fully sobbing now.
“I love you, Theá.”
“I love you, Kylian,” I whisper and hang up.