47. Antonio
Chapter forty-seven
Antonio
T he number you have dialled does not exist. Thank you, and goodbye.
One month of dialling, one month of hearing the same stupid, robotic voice telling me her number doesn’t exist when I know it should. Or at least it did.
Every day, I dial the stupid number with the farfetched hope that she may finally answer, or that I’d at least get her old voicemail and be able to hear her voice one more time.
That’s all I need. One more time, just one last chance to see her, to hold her. To finally be able to call her mine.
I lean back in my chair and sigh deeply before tossing my phone on my desk.
Today is also my first day back in the office. It feels strange to be here after so long. The last time I was here was the day before dinner with Horatio and Mattheo. The day when my entire life changed.
A part of me wonders if I knew then what I know now, would I still have pulled the trigger?
Every single memory of the last year rushes through my mind. From thinking I’d never want to love someone again, to my fake wedding day, to falling hopelessly for Theá.
I know, with every fibre in my body, I would do it all again without an ounce of hesitation.
An alert from my computer draws my eyes up, and I see an email from yet another client politely declining a meeting. A year ago, people were begging for meetings with me; now they’re all declining because they have no complaints or worries, and their accounts are perfect.
I suppose I should be grateful that everything has stabilised. A part of me finds it interesting that despite the sudden news of my marriage and of everything that happened in the last year, the stocks have never looked better. Vitale Holdings has never looked better. Even my papá wouldn’t be able to find fault in this.
I’m not accustomed to this at all. My entire career has been centred around crisis management for so long, so to only have to do minor maintenance work feels wrong. It honestly feels too good to be true. A part of me is waiting for someone to jump out and say all of this is fake, and that everything has gone to shit again.
It’s the pessimist in me that entertains those thoughts.
There’s no real need for me to be here. No one else is here. My brothers are all on some camping trip that Valerie and Natalia insisted on.
I scoff out loud. I just know Ambrose and Augustus are having the world’s worst time right now, especially if they’re expected to sleep in tents.
I reach for my phone again, and the sunlight glints against my silver wedding band. Suddenly, the brief moment of joy I felt fades away at the speed of light.
I open my gallery and head for a very specific video that I know exists. It’s a video of Theá sitting on the deck next to the pool reading, her expression changing as she reads. Watching every emotion run across her very expressive face—joy, sadness, even annoyance—before she slams the book shut and simply stares ahead, possibly questioning her decisions. The video cuts just as she turns to face me, but the last thing I’m graced with is her beautiful smile.
A knock on my office door snaps me out of my spiral, and I hurry to reach up and wipe my eyes that have glossed over with tears.
Mattia steps into the office and immediately rolls his eyes. “I thought you went camping?”
“Do I look like I wanted to be in the middle of nowhere surrounded by only couples?”
“Fair enough, but why would you want to be here?” he asks, moving closer as I struggle to blink back the last of my tears.
Mattia’s eyes don’t move from mine as he comes to a stop in front of my desk. “ Fra… ” he sighs. I can hear the pity in his voice and I fucking hate it.
“I miss her so much. This whole thing is so fucked up,” I finally admit out loud. Yet my cousin doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised. If anything, he looks…happy? “Does my emotional distress bring you joy? Why are you smiling like a lunatic?”
“I’m not happy because you’re sad. I’m happy you’re finally admitting that you’re sad and that you miss her.”
“I figured it was obvious. Why did I need to admit it for you to take it seriously?”
“Purely for entertainment purposes, duh. But it’s also part of the reason I stopped by.”
I raise my brow. “Here I thought you just wanted to check in.”
“I need a favour.”
“Well, since I owe you my life, sure,” I joke, but only I laugh.
“No, you don’t. I don’t want you feeling indebted to me. I just want this one tiny favour and nothing else.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever. What is it?”
“I need help on a trip I’m going on.”
“You want me to leave the country? Right now? After everything?” I frown. I would move mountains for Mattia after what he did for me, and even before that. But right now, the only place I want to be is on Tevici soil. Don Marcelino has been dealing with the cartel since Enzo brought me back, but so much is still up in the air that the entire situation is so volatile.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I want you to do. I’ve cleared it with Ambrose and Dr. Rossi. We’ve got a huge security team booked, as well as a private jet. All you have to do is say yes.”
“Where are we going?” I sigh. I can’t believe I’m going to agree to this.
“South Africa, we’re going to pay Kaia a visit.”
“Okay, let’s go. Let me just head home to pack.”
“Way ahead of you.” Mattia jumps up. “Already packed for you this morning.”
“How did you know I’d say yes?” I scoff.
“I didn’t. But I knew I’d do everything in my power to convince you if you didn’t.” He shrugs and heads to the door. “Wheels up in forty.”
“So what does Kaia need help with?” I ask as we clear customs.
The large mass of security around us is nerve-wracking, and it feels as if every eye in this airport is on us right now. It’s not just a feeling as I look around; I find multiple people staring at us or with their phones out taking pictures, probably trying to figure out who we are that we require this much security.
“Some shoot she needs help with.”
“You brought me here to model?” I frown, and Mattia simply beams as his eyes search the crowd, presumably looking for Kaia.
“Over there.” He points towards the door where I spot Kaia standing with some security of her own.
“My God, it’s good to see you two alive.” She sighs in relief as our wall of security opens up to let her inside.
She hugs Mattia first and then wraps her arms around my waist, squeezing me tightly. “I thought we were going to lose you.”
“It’ll take a lot more to get rid of me, unfortunately.” I grin as I return the hug.
As she pulls back and gives me a once over, her face morphs into a frown. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” She turns to Mattia and smacks the side of his head.
“What? You just said get him here? I did that.”
“Yeah, but I asked for Antonio, not whatever imposter this is. Hy lyk rof, ” she mumbles the last part, and both Mattia and I stare at each other in confusion.
“You look rough,” she translates. “How could you let yourself go like this? Especially when I need you in your usual pristine state.”
“I’m sorry?” I say, unsure of what she wants from me right now.
“We’ll have to take care of this first.” She turns and starts walking towards the doors.
“What have you signed me up for?” I mumble so only Mattia can hear me.
“Trust me, you’ll love it,” he fires back.
“Did Mattia not tell you why you were coming here?” Kaia asks as we pull up at a hair salon.
“Not exactly. He just said you needed a favour.” I shrug. “He only mentioned the event when we landed.”
She shoots Mattia a glare, but Mattia feigns indifference as he steps out of the car and heads straight in.
“It’s not that you look bad, you just don’t look like yourself.” She stops me before I follow after Mattia.
“Probably because I’m not myself right now,” I admit. “It feels wrong to put that mask on right now. How I look right now is how I’m feeling, and that’s all I have the energy for right now.”
“I guess it’s time to get you feeling better, then. You know the saying: look good, feel good,” she says.
“I hope it’s true,” I say as I step out of the car and head inside.
A few minutes later, my hair is washed, and I’m sitting in the stylist’s chair with Kaia looming over my shoulder. “So what are we getting done today?” the stylist asks, looking at Kaia.
Kaia, however, is looking at me.
“Whatever he wants, just not a buzzcut, please,” she says before walking away.
The stylist returns her attention to me as she runs her fingers through my overgrown curls. It’s the longest my hair has been, probably since I was a child. The way her fingers run through my hair feels so strange, yet so familiar. No one other than Theá has ever really played with my hair, so it’s an instant trigger for that memory. I guess Kaia must’ve sensed something since she immediately said no to buzzcuts. She’s probably more worried I’ll end up like Gus and Adriano.
“Hair holds memories, so I know it can be difficult to let go. But you always feel like a new person after a fresh haircut,” the stylist says. I let my eyes meet hers for the first time since I walked it.
“Never cut your hair.”
“Whatever you want, tesoro.”
The memory flashes through my head, but I shake it off. I need to find a way to move on from all of this.
“Could we do an undercut with a taper fade and then keep some of the length on the top?” I ask, and she smiles before nodding.
If hair holds memories, then that should get rid of a lot of the memories I have of her. This is the hair she would play with. The hair she would grab and pull at the nape of my neck when I moved inside her. Memories flood into my head as the hair stylist shaves the strands off.
No matter what I try, she’s in every inch on my flesh, every piece of my brain. She’s fucking everywhere, and no matter what I try to do to get rid of her, I can’t.