Chapter 2
Chapter Two
“Are you sure you’re comfortable?” Mr. Richard Anderson asked Marie while they were in the middle of their dance. “You look sick.”
Marie didn’t feel like telling him it was her nerves getting the best of her. Her father had told her that after this dance, she would meet Edward. And the closer she was getting to the end of this dance, the more unyielding the knots in her stomach became.
“I’m fine,” she forced out, even though she was certain some bile started to rise up in her throat. “I’m just a bit flushed from all of this dancing, that’s all.”
She offered him what she thought was a reassuring smile, but by the way he winced, her smile had sent him an entirely different message.
She didn’t know what to do. She could apologize, she supposed.
Though, she didn’t see how it would make anything better.
It might even make things worse because then she’d have to explain why she was sorry.
There was just no helping it. She was socially awkward. She couldn’t change that aspect of herself any more than she could make her mousy brown hair into a beautiful shade of golden yellow.
The dance called for her to turn, which she did, but the room seemed to tilt around her, and she lost her balance for a moment.
Mr. Anderson hurried to cup her elbow with his hand and led her over to the open window by some chairs.
He bid her to sit then told her he was going to bring her something to drink.
She tried not to glance at the group of people who had noticed her discomfort. A couple of them chuckled and shook their heads before they turned back to their conversation. Her cheeks grew hot with embarrassment.
She shifted so she could no longer see them.
The breeze coming in through the open window helped to cool the sting of humiliation.
She was able to suppress the tears that wanted to slide down her cheeks.
After she met Edward, she was going to ask her father to take her home.
There was no saving this evening. All she could hope for right now was that she wouldn’t make a fool of herself in front of Edward.
But how long could she hide the fact that she was a fool?
Would it be long enough for him to care about her so he would overlook her flaws?
That was, of course, if he ever did come to care for her.
What if she spent her entire life with him and he never cared about her?
If he was considerate to everyone, as her father claimed, then he would be considerate to her simply out of duty because that was how he’d been raised.
His consideration wouldn’t necessarily mean he cared about her or that he might even learn to love her someday.
She had to stop and take a deep breath before her thoughts kept going in the direction she most hated.
Once more, she thought about Lady Diane.
Without meaning to, she looked for her. Lady Diane was dancing with another gentleman.
She had no trouble keeping up with the dance.
She laughed at something the gentleman said, and he seemed flattered by her attention.
If Marie guessed right, he was as smitten with her as the other gentleman had been.
If only Marie could be like that. Charming and beautiful.
Mr. Anderson returned to her with a glass of water. He sat beside her. “Are you feeling better?”
She nodded. “Thank you.” She took a sip. Then she drank a little more. It did help.
He didn’t hide his relief. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to faint or vomit while we danced.”
Had she really seemed that out of sorts? It was no wonder he had been in a hurry to get her to a chair. “I apologize for scaring you.”
“There’s no need to apologize. I’m just relieved you’re all right.”
She caught sight of her father. He was talking to two gentlemen.
She recognized Lord Palmere. The gentleman next to him was younger, and he bore a striking resemblance to him.
That must be Edward. He was quite handsome.
Dark hair, slender, a kind smile. Her stomach tensed.
Just what was she supposed to say to him?
“Is there anything else you need?” Mr. Anderson asked her.
Turning her gaze back to him, she shook her head. “No, you have been more than helpful. My father is on his way over. He’ll see to my needs.”
He gave her an encouraging smile then left.
Since her mouth was dry, she drank the rest of the water in a hurry before her father, Edward, or Lord Palmere noticed her.
She hurried to her feet. This was it. The moment she’d been waiting for—or rather agonizing over—was here.
She cleared her throat and prayed no one noticed the trembling of her hands.
She set the glass on the chair then clasped her hands together.
With any luck, she appeared as if nothing was worrying her.
Her father gestured to Edward. “My dear, this is your intended, Edward. Edward, this is my daughter, Marie.”
Edward smiled, and she felt something akin to a spark travel all through her, but she couldn’t tell if the spark was from excitement or dread.
Too many thoughts were going through her head.
What did he think of her? Was he ever going to love her?
Was she ever going to love him? Would they be a good match?
Had she been too quick to rush into this arrangement?
Should she have taken time to get to know him first?
But if she did, what if he found her lacking and looked elsewhere for a wife?
It wasn’t like ladies had most of their lives to find a husband.
Gentlemen were desirable for marriage at any age.
Her biggest asset was her youth. She was still in the prime of her life where she could have children, and children were what gentlemen most needed.
Well, besides money. Given that her father couldn’t offer a significant dowry, all she could offer was children.
Edward offered a slight bow. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Marie.”
Did he mean that, or was he just saying it? She knew she had to respond in kind, even if she was afraid she was going to throw up. Mr. Anderson was right to be worried. She forced down her bile and said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Edward.”
Lord Palmere glanced between them and grinned. “You’re right, Archie. They do look good together.”
Her face flushed, and she dotted her forehead with her gloved hand.
Her father seemed equally pleased. Edward was still smiling, but was it because of her or because of their fathers’ approval?
This wasn’t good. She was going to drive herself mad with all of the doubts that kept circling in her mind.
“Marie enjoys taking strolls at Hyde Park in the mornings,” her father said, his attention going to Edward. “She says it’s the best time to hear the birds sing.”
“You like to listen to the birds sing?” Edward asked her.
She couldn’t tell if Edward thought that was nice or silly, but since her father had mentioned it, she had to admit to it.
With a nod, she forced out, “Their music is pretty.” She hid the urge to wince.
That sounded like a ridiculous answer. It might have been better if she had used some musical term to describe the ways birds sang.
But what term would best fit? Melody? Pitch?
Tempo? Surely, she could offer something better than “pretty”!
“Marie has enjoyed listening to birds ever since she was a little girl,” her father said. “I remember she used to ask the maid to open the window so she could listen to them while we ate.”
“Edward likes to eat by the window at the country estate so he can look out at the land,” Lord Palmere inserted. “I think he also enjoys the fresh air.”
“There is plenty of fresh air at Hyde Park,” her father added. “The two might enjoy taking morning strolls there.”
“Or, perhaps, evening ones. Both are good times to listen to birds.”
She glanced Edward’s way and noted the hint of pink on his cheeks. Did that mean he liked the idea of taking a stroll with her, or was he going to be embarrassed to be seen with her? Perhaps he might desire someone more beautiful.
Her father paused and turned to her. “This would be a good time for you to have your first dance with him.”
She felt a flicker of panic rise up within her.
She’d barely survived the dance she had with Mr. Anderson, and she wasn’t going to marry him.
Just how was she supposed to get through a dance with Edward?
She started to shake her head—to let him know she wasn’t ready, but her father had already turned his attention back to Lord Palmere.
She forced herself to make eye contact with Edward. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, though she sensed an unease coming from him. Was that unease because of her? Or was it because he felt as awkward as she did?
She had to force down her frustration. She was overthinking everything.
All of these thoughts that kept circling around in her mind were confusing her.
She knew she should stop questioning everything.
Only then would she get a better idea of what was happening.
But no matter how hard she tried to quiet her mind, her fears kept pressing in on her.
She was barely aware of Edward’s hand as he escorted her to the other couples who were getting ready for the next dance.
“I knew our fathers got along, but I had no idea they got along that well,” he said before he winced.
Why was he wincing? She hadn’t even said anything.
He cleared his throat. “I think they’ve known each other since they were children. They’re not close friends, but they’re friends well enough.”
She had to think about it. She had recalled her father mentioning Lord Palmere from time to time, and she had seen Lord Palmere at her townhouse in the past, though she’d never paid him mind since he hadn’t been there to visit her.