Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Zara
F or the dozenth time, I rolled over and stared out the window. I knew I should get up. Maybe coffee would help me get motivated, maybe a walk around the property or a workout in the gym. Unfortunately, the lethargy that had plagued me for days had a death grip on my soul. The days were beginning to blend together, and so were my excuses for inaction.
It had been three days since my world had been tipped on its side by a night of life-changing sex. Three nights exactly since my wet dreams had been put to shame by the reality that was Colin and Lincoln. Unfortunately, it had also been the night that they’d become something more to me than vague fantasies. Hearing Colin’s story had made me face just how deep my feelings ran, and instead of facing that head on, I was hiding.
My heart hurt because I knew Colin probably thought telling me about his past had killed my interest in them, but the truth was so much worse. I’d realized I was coming to love them. If I didn’t care, I would have continued to jump them at every opportunity. But knowing how I felt and worrying about the future had paralyzed me in ways I wasn’t prepared for.
So instead of indulging in some of the best sex of my life, I made excuses about being tired and ran away to the sanctuary of my room. Having four hands, two cocks, two mouths plying me with pleasure had been even better than Dottie had implied at Midgard. It was addicting, but what if they didn’t feel what I was feeling? I couldn’t risk getting my heart crushed once they were done with me.
But what if they did feel what I was feeling? Could I really give myself fully to two hot dominant men? Yes. But why would they want me? I was just an ex-thief who had screwed up her life. I felt like we’d shared something special, but it could have all been in my mind. No. It hadn’t felt like just a physical act to bring me to orgasm, but more like the three of us had taken a deep dive together. It had felt raw and real, and that was why I was paralyzed.
I was a god damn independent woman and didn’t need men to run my life. But it felt so nice. I could rely solely on myself but why should I? The idea of being parted from them literally caused me physical pain. I was panicked, one hundred percent scared of these new feelings and not sure what to do about them. So I hid in my room, or the tub, or anywhere they wouldn’t bother me.
Whether they understood this, or were indulging my need for privacy, I wasn’t sure, but I was grateful for the space they gave me.
“Zara!” Colin’s voice boomed from the hall.
What the hell? It was only two in the afternoon. What were they doing at home already? They’d been leaving every morning and not returning until dinner. I wasn’t ready to pretend to be happy yet. My door banged open; Colin and Linc stood on the threshold faces grim as if they were ready for battle.
“Why are you still in bed? What’s going on?” Lincoln’s deep voice demanded answers.
I rubbed my eyes, not wanting to admit that I’d spent every day curled up like this when they were gone. “Nothing. I was tired so I took a nap. What’s wrong?”
The two men exchanged concerned looks which made my stomach swirl. Why couldn’t I just open up and share what I was thinking? Learning they didn’t feel anything for me but physical attraction had to be better than this limbo.
Colin sighed. “Get up and clean up. We have company coming.”
“Company?” Who the hell could be coming here?
“Yeah, our business partner, Gabriel, and his woman, Rose, are coming over.”
I couldn’t tell if Lincoln was happy or not by his tone.
“Why?” Why were strangers coming? I had enough to think about with Mihal and my feelings for these two gorgeous men. I didn’t need to add being social to that list.
Lincoln smirked. “Rose wants to meet you.”
“You two should have fun. Rose is a nuclear-level of force personality living in a tiny body.”
Colin’s smile as he turned and left was less amused and more sad. I knew my avoidance was hurting him, but I couldn’t seem to stop.
Lincoln looked between the two of us and shook his head before closing my door. What the hell was that about? I guessed I would have to put on my happy face earlier than usual. It seemed I was meeting this Rose person whether I wanted to or not.
After showering, I stared at my clothing choices trying to decide what was appropriate for meeting with their friends. I had exactly zero experience with what to expect. I’d had roommates in college but never connected with them for more than dividing up chores. How did someone dress for friends?
Without knowing what Rose was like, I couldn’t use my experience from childhood for getting close to marks. Foster care had been survival of the fittest, and I’d barely had enough clothes to make choices. Dressing for work was like wearing a uniform, so that didn’t help. Meeting this woman seemed important to Colin and Lincoln, and I didn’t want to disappoint them.
After way too much worrying, I chose a midnight-blue two-piece lounging set that said comfortable yet elegant. At least I hoped it did. Dressing for corporate America was a hell of a lot easier than dressing for casual acquaintances.
My hair, still damp from the shower, hung in loose waves down my back and I decided to put it in an upsweep with a few tendrils I curled with my finger, left hanging to frame my face. I slapped on mascara and a light-pink gloss on my lips and took a final look at myself.
A memory from a brief stay at a foster home flooded my mind. I’d been in line for the bathroom. Six kids ranging in age from five to sixteen and sharing one bathroom had been a nightmare. Being the newest edition, I was last, and when I entered, there was a message written on the mirror in pink lipstick. Who is the watcher in the mirror?
I stared in the mirror, just like I had then, only this time, I tried to answer. I was a liability. I hadn’t thrived in corporate America. I brought nothing to a relationship or a friendship except baggage. A criminal history, an enemy, and unless they needed appointments scheduled, locks picked or a safe cracked, I had no redeeming skills. My future was unknown and looked grim. I wasn’t even brave enough to admit my feelings for the two men downstairs.
But I could fake it with the best of them. I slipped my feet into a comfy pair of Birkenstocks, the only part of my wardrobe that was truly functional and headed downstairs. The men were in the kitchen plating a spread of snack foods with a nice blend of fresh produce and assorted crackers as well as some chips with dips. I studied the labels on the containers with confusion.
“What’s Baba Ganoush?”
Linc swirled around a cracker in the dip in his hand. “You’ve never tried Baba Ganoush?”
“No.” I laughed at the outrage in his voice.
“Oh, you haven’t lived until you’ve had Baba. Take a bite.” He held out a cracker with a thick white spread on it.
I opened and felt the blush spread across my cheeks as my mind flashed back to the last time I’d opened my mouth when he’d told me to. From the smirk on his face, he was remembering the same thing.
Hesitantly, I bit down and a burst of lemon and garlic mixed in a creamy texture made my taste buds sing in joy. “Mmm. What is it made from besides garlic and lemon,” I asked, holding my mouth open for more.
“Eggplant,” Lincoln answered.
“Seriously?” The word was mumbled around my chewing as I stole a second bite. Eggplant was one of those vegetables that I’d never really wanted to try. It just looked like a weird purple cousin to the cucumber. Who could have guessed it could have such a wonderful savory taste?
Colin, who was standing at the kitchen island cutting cucumbers, laughed. “You’re cute when your mouth is full.” His eyes glimmered meaningfully.
“Don’t listen to him,” Linc replied, “you're cute all the time. But I have to agree there is a certain attractiveness about you with your mouth full.”
My cheeks burned and had to be beet red. The desire to flee was almost overwhelming, but thankfully, before it could overtake me, I heard the front door open and the security panel beep. The guests were here.
Crap!
“We’re in the kitchen,” Colin hollered.
A moment later it wasn’t just two people who entered the room, it was four. There were two women and two men, one obvious couple but I was up in the air about the other two. The first man was one of the tallest people I’d ever seen. He was lithe but powerfully built. His expression was a cross between dark and commanding. I gulped; he was terrifying and fit the description the guys had given me of Gabriel, who had started the security business they all owned.
He held a much smaller woman’s hand, who’s happiness and personality practically vibrated out of her. That had to be Rose. She was dressed casually much like I was, so I relaxed over my choice of outfit.
The second man was a complete mystery. There was something about his casual stance that made me think he was anything but. If the man were a cat, I could see him up in a tree gently swishing his tail while patiently waiting for his unsuspecting meal to graze on the grass below him. He was the epitome of danger, mystique and cool intelligence all wrapped up in fake charm. His smile was easy, but his eyes were calculating. I bet whoever he was, not much got by him.
My gaze shifted to the fourth person, standing on Rose’s other side. I found myself completely drawn in by her. She was smaller in stature than the first woman. Although she and her friend were of similar build, that is where all similarities ended. She eyed me critically, and though I had no idea as to who she was, I knew instinctively her opinion of me would matter.
Colin stepped away from the vegetables and pulled the woman in for an enthusiastic hug. Jealousy flared through me, though I tried to hide it. I bet this woman didn’t come with a cargo hold full of baggage. If they had someone like her in their lives, how could they be attracted to me?
“To what do we owe the pleasure of your esteemed presence?” Colin asked with a laugh.
“I thought I’d see what all the fuss was about.”
Of course her voice was deep and rich. Her eyes landed on mine with such clarity and intensity that I felt naked before her stare.
Linc sidled up beside me and draped an arm around my shoulders. The movement felt protective, and I smiled up at him in gratitude before blushing and looking down. His smile was gentle as he nodded to the newcomers.
“Zara, the intense one in Colin’s arms is our friend Marissa, though we usually call her Mari. At the clubs, she is Mistress Freya. The big scowling one is Gabriel, also known as Master Heimdall, and the slick playboy on the end is Jared also known as Master Loki. The woman being hovered over by Gabriel is our newest friend and the best logistics manager we ever hired, Rose.”
“You don’t have a second name?” I asked not knowing what else to say.
Rose laughed. “They call me Amora at the club, but I’m new and the two-name thing can be confusing.”
“Ahh. It’s nice to meet you. Linc and Colin have said such nice things about you all.”
My eyes traveled back to Marissa. So she was the eighth member of what Lincoln often referred to as his real family. What must it be like for her to hold her own with seven men who, from those I’d met, were all hugely proportioned and not just physically, but accompanied by equally large personalities.
Rose released Gabriel’s hand and gravitated toward me. She winked at Linc who still stood protectively at my side. “It’s nice to know that I’m talked about. That is my bestie, Mari, I dragged her along for our woman’s night.”
Woman’s night? What did that mean? They had said everyone was just visiting. Nothing had been said about leaving me alone with strangers. I gazed up at Linc for an answer.
“We thought you might be getting tired of only seeing us, so we thought you might like a relaxing night with friends.” He leaned down and pecked me on the cheek. “I think you’ll have fun with the ladies. Colin and I are having a night of our own with the guys.”
They were going to leave me with two women I didn’t know. Panic sent my pulse racing. Rose must have noticed because she took my hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze.
“We are here for fun, Zara, and to get to know each other better. No stress, I promise.”
Her smile seemed sincere. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. “Sounds fun.” Hopefully, my skepticism wasn’t obvious.
Linc didn’t seem convinced, but he stepped back and the loss of his heat next to me was like a blow. “Don’t forget you have our numbers if you need us. We aren’t going far, so you can always call.”
“We’ll be happy to come back if you need anything.”
Colin’s emphasis and the added wink made his meaning clear. My cheeks flared with heat. We were maybe a little rocky, but he was still trying. I had to get over my fear and talk to the two men.
From the knowing looks from the others, they knew what he meant too. Gabriel claimed Rose’s mouth with a passionate kiss and abruptly stalked away with Linc, Colin and Jared, leaving us three girls alone. That was it? They were just going to dump me into this situation and leave? No goodbye. Just you have our numbers. What the hell?
“It’s about time those overbearing tyrants left.”
Mari’s comment popped my angry thoughts and panic started to form in my chest.
“Right! Let’s drink.” Rose moved over to the wine fridge where she and Mari debated before finally closing the door.
Okay, guess we were doing this “woman’s night” whether I was ready or not. Technically, this was my house so I should try and be a good hostess. How exactly did one do that?
“Uh, if you want something stronger I’ll show you where the bar is,” I said.
“Now you're talking.” Mari rubbed her hands together.
“Lead the way, newest member,” Rose added.
“Newest member?” I led them back the way they’d come and into the large entertainment space where we spent most of our time. The strong alcohol was there and I was pretty sure I was going to need some of that.
“Simple,” Rose responded, “those two have clearly fallen for you, head over heels.”
I snorted. How I wished that was true, but they’d only agreed to sleep with me after I’d declared I was only interested in the physical. Just because my feelings had changed didn’t mean theirs had.
“I think you misread them. It’s just a sex thing.”
Mari stepped behind the bar like she’d been there a thousand times. Her assessing look as she started mixing cocktails made me squirm. Damn this woman was intimidating.
“Why would you think that?”
Great, from her tone she didn’t like me disagreeing with them. I was totally killing the making new friends part of the night. Screw it, they would either like me or they wouldn’t. While I was thinking of how to best answer, Mari slid a drink to both me and Rose.
I took a tentative sip. It was strong, and tasty and something I’d never tried before. “Mmm, what is this?”
“An Old Fashioned. One of my favorite drinks. But don’t dodge the question, Zara, why do you think it’s only about sex?”
I tossed back the rest of the drink, needing the courage the alcohol would give me. “I think I’m going to need a few more of those if we're going to be talking about Linc and Colin.”
Rose giggled. “I like you already.”
I sighed. “That’s because you don’t know me. You may not feel the same if you knew the circumstances under which I met them.”
“Oh but we do,” Rose assured me, “and now we want to hear the story right from the source. All about Sue-Ann Thomas and how she became Zara Foster.”
Oh shit! I wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that they knew about me. I could only imagine what they thought if they only knew the public facts about my past. Plus, how much did I really want to share with strangers? I decided to keep things light and find out what they really wanted.
“Crappy crime-filled childhood, okay college years, really crappy first job with a psycho boss. You know, the usual hard-luck-tries-to-do-good-but-gets-kicked-in-the-teeth-by-life story. But if you know my past, you know that. What is that you really want to know?”
The ladies exchanged glances and I stiffened, preparing myself for the “you aren’t good enough for our friends” speech. I honestly could give it to myself. They would say, Why does an ex-con with no life experience think she is good enough for our friends who are not only heroes but successful businessmen? You should just go away.
Rose smiled and surprised me by saying, “We really do just want to get to know you. I’m a military brat. We never had much money, but my father was a secure, supportive force in my life. I’m sorry you didn’t have that.”
“Thanks.” It was all I could think to say. I knew pity, had experienced and exploited it too many times. That wasn’t what she was giving me. It was like she was actually sorry I hadn’t had a good parent in my life.
“Here.” Mari handed me another drink. “I had money and privilege but not in the way the guys had. My family owned a ranch and they loved me and provided well for me. My mother came from old money and walked away from fortune and the obligations that came with it, because her parents didn’t approve of them. My father was the son of a hard-working estate manager. The two of them met when his father was working on my grandparents’ estate. They chose love over money. My mother was denied her trust fund due to her decisions. Despite that, they found a way to pay for me to get a top-notch education. When I finished school, I set my sights on fashion, which normally would lead to poverty, but luck and the income from investing in the clubs quickly made me a wealthy woman. More importantly, it meant when my parents’ health declined, I was able to support them. They died together not long before Rose relocated here at my behest.”
“Behest?” Rose rolled her eyes, “More like demanded.” She and Mari laughed and I couldn’t help but join them. I didn’t understand why these women were opening up to me so much, but I appreciated the gesture, and it made me feel like they really wanted to be my friends. I downed my drink and held out my glass for a refill.
This time we were all ready for another drink. The room swayed, and I realized though we’d had a few drinks, we hadn’t had any of the snacks.
“Hang on, I’ll bring in some snacks while you make the drinks.”
Rose followed me and we both came back with our arms full of goodies.
“You two have to try this ganoush stuff; it’s so good.” I held out the dip to Rose and she swiped a baby baguette toast tip through the dip.
“Oh, that is tasty. But I’m spoiled rotten, Gabriel makes the best Greek food on the planet. I can’t get enough of his dip.”
“I just bet you can’t,” Mari replied and we all broke into peals of laughter at the innuendo. “I don’t want to hear any more about Gabe’s dip. That’s old news. I’m more interested in hearing about how Zara ensnared our baby Masters.”
“Baby Masters?” I might have been a little tipsy, but there was nothing baby or little about Linc and Colin.
“Fine, they aren’t really baby Masters. They are younger than the rest of the seven of us, so we call them the Baby Masters. Well, not to their face of course.”
I laughed. “How much younger?” They didn’t look younger, but maybe I was wrong.
“Two years,” Mari said with a gravity that should not be attached to such a small number.
I snorted and Rose laughed.
“Uhm, since I think I’m almost ten years younger than them, what does that make me?”
Mari shook her head. “The eight of us met in college when that number seemed more important. Colin is the younger brother of Declan, or Master Odin, who back then, was the leader of our merry band. He’s the Scottish/American mastermind billionaire and mama hen to the group. Lincoln has been Colin’s best friend since they were old enough to run around without diapers. Their parents are associated in similar circles.”
This was all news to me yet made so much sense. We’d talked about our backgrounds a bit, but mostly we talked about current stuff. I didn’t really know them that well. I took the last sip of my fourth, or was it fifth, drink and sighed.
“You all sound so close and have been friends for so long. I don’t think I belong in such an esteemed group.” My sentiments came out sounding quite formal and I meant every word, despite the slight slur I was beginning to develop. “I’m just a nobody. But I can’t seem to help myself with those two. It’s not just the out-of-this-world sex, they’re good guys!”
Mari slid me another drink as both women laughed. I should have been mortified by my abrupt share, but instead I offered a lazy smile.
“So they’re talented?” Rose asked with a giggle.
“Yes. Seriously, it's like completely unreal. Like they are gods,” I added for good measure.
Mari snorted, “Well, Norse gods.”
We all laughed at the reference to the club names. It felt good talking to these women. Why hadn’t I tried to make friends before? They were the best.
“So what’s the problem?” Rose asked. “They are into you and you are into them.”
I took another deep drink. “First they wouldn’t make a move because they thought I wasn’t in the right place to make any decisions. But when I begged and swore it was only a fling, they gave in. It was AH-MAZ-ING, but it was so good that I’ve been hiding from them ever since.”
“The sex was too good?” Mari seemed more sober than Rose and I, which was suspicious.
“Exactly! Well, no. I mean then we talked and they were so nice. So I just couldn’t do it again.” That made sense right?
Rose tilted her head a little too far and grabbed the bar to right herself. “So you don’t like my friends because they’re nice?”
“No! I mean sort of. They had sex because I said it was just sex. I can have just sex but not with someone I like. Like really like. If I have more mind-blowing sex, then like might become more and they don’t want more, so it’s better to just be friends. But I kinda want the great sex. Get it?”
Mari rolled her eyes which was more impressive than it should have been.
“I’ve known them since they were eighteen years old, and I have never seen them want anyone as much as they want you, Zara. I think maybe they ‘like really like’ you. The three of you need to have a conversation. If you are all honest with each other, there is nothing you can’t overcome.”
Her words rang true. I nodded a few times to show my agreement, enjoying the way the world spun. “That is sage advice, thank you, Mari. You are brilliant.”
Her regal nod made me giggle as she accepted my compliment.
Rose jumped up and spun in place. “Great sex for everybody! But that is a later activity. Let’s put on some music and go raid that wine fridge.”