Chapter 20
twenty
GRANT
Lily lets me pick her up from her apartment.
Her baby blue dress sways when she walks down the building’s front steps and into my arms. It’s sinisterly sweet and sexy all at once.
The large tote bag slung over her shoulder doesn’t go unnoticed by me, either, and I smile while opening the passenger door.
We’re on the same page about her staying the night. I don’t intend to let her out of bed once she’s laid down.
Liliana is officially in the last leg of her story and her classes. All she needs to do is put together the acts she’s written, polish them up, and submit them for the grade I know she deserves. She’s accomplished her biggest feat this semester, and I’ve helped her get there.
Lily might not have seen this as a way to redeem myself, but I did. I needed to make sure that I righted my wrongs before I let myself think I was deserving of a girl like her.
The smile doesn’t leave my face the entire car ride. She asks a few times why I’m so upbeat tonight, and I respond that I’m just happy to be with her. And I am, but I’m even happier I’ve finally earned the right to ask Liliana to be my girlfriend. I think she’s going to say yes.
My thoughts are consumed by fantasies of what life will be like when I can call myself her boyfriend. The trips I’ll take her on. The pieces of art she’ll inspire. The drawer I’ll clear out for her belongings.
When we get back to my apartment and swing the front door open, I’m thinking of the matching set of pajamas I’ll get us this Christmas.
“You made dinner?” Lily tilts her chin while taking her shoes off. “I thought we were going to order pizza.”
I slip off my own pair. “If you want pizza, we can order some.”
“It’s not that.” I follow her into the kitchen, hug her around her waist when she stands in front of the stove to pans of food. “I just wasn’t expecting you to cook. It smells amazing.”
My face tucks into her neck and I can’t smell the risotto dish at all. Only the apple scent of her perfume. “Thank you. I hope you like it.”
“I love it.”
“You haven’t even tasted it yet.” I laugh, but it’s more to calm down my heart pulsing at her sentence. She didn’t say she loves me exactly, and it’s probably too early for me to hope for something as serious as those three words.
Still, my heart pounds. Being around Lily makes me feel included and understood. It’s hard not to fall in love with that feeling, or the person responsible for it.
Lily turns in my arms, mumbles something about me being good at everything, so the food must be spectacular. It’s hard to tell exactly what she’s saying in between the kisses I pepper across her face.
Two bites into the meal, Liliana sat across my dining room table, she tells me for what feels like the tenth time, that the food is amazing.
I reveal that it’s a recipe I found on a cooking blog.
I followed it closely—and still messed up—so it’s nothing special.
Lily smiles anyways and says I’m skilled at making something beautiful out of nothing.
After we finish eating and debating over dystopian film franchises, she claps her hands and starts rubbing them together comically.
“So, what’s for dessert?” She has a wicked grin on her face. Like she thinks I haven’t planned that out, and she caught me red-handed. “And don’t say I’m dessert.”
I fake shock, dramatically dropping my jaw. “Why not?”
“I know how that mouth works, and you can think of a better line than that.”
The innuendo sends heat straight to my cock. I shuffle in my chair and will it away. Not yet.
I need to change the subject before my testosterone hijacks my senses. Liliana leaning over the hardwood of my table leaves little to the imagination, and I can’t lose control before I ask her what I want to.
“Actually, I bought dessert.”
“Oh.” She looks genuinely surprised.
“That shocks you?” I stand up, head to my fridge, and rearrange the half hard-on in my pants.
“Shock is a strong word.” Her round eyes follow as I walk back to the table, white takeout box in one hand and two forks in the other. Sitting next to her, I place the box between us. “I feel like you’re more go-with-the-flow. Not so much a planner sort of guy.”
I shrug and hand her a fork. “I’m usually not.”
Lily may not have noticed, but I think we’ve changed each other for the better. I was never a planner or particularly organized, but she keeps me in check. I do better because I want to be better for her.
And she’s become more spontaneous and willing to go off schedule. Not so addicted to following the book, and more willing to give her mind and body a break. I’m proud of being a part of that. She deserves it.
I like planning things for her. I like going the extra mile to show her she’s my exception. Tonight, I hope she feels the same way.
The lid of the box pops open, and I slowly slide the two slices of dessert out, making sure not to scrape the frosting off the sides.
“Is that…” Lily points her fork to the dessert, lips parted. “A hazelnut mocha cake?”
I nod. “Which slice do you want?”
“Wait.” She waves her hands back and forth. My eyebrows raise. “How do you know what my favorite cake is?”
“So I got it right?” I smirk in triumph and mentally high-five the past version of myself.
“How do you know?” Lily asks again, voice raised in amazement.
“In undergrad, I was driving you home. You pointed to a boba place and said they had the best cake. I went today and guessed it was this one, because you like hazelnut.”
I say it casually, because that’s what it is. Me remembering a detail about someone I care for. It costs me nothing to keep a list of her likes and dislikes stored away in my brain. But Liliana’s eyes go wide, glossed over with emotion. Under the table, her free hand touches my knee.
“How do you remember so many things about me?”
Her voice is small, like something so simple holds the meaning to the world. I suppose I can’t blame her, because in a way, I feel like that too.
The warmth of her hand presses against my knee familiarly, like it did over the skin of my wrist.
After that night in my car, going outside my comfort zone to talk about half-siblings, nothing is too vulnerable to say to Lily. She’s become my safe space. There’s no one I’d rather confide in than her.
“I don’t like being forgotten. My father put me through that a lot.” Years of missed phone calls, birthdays, graduations, and everything in between flood my memories. A younger version of me asking my mom why my dad never wanted to talk to me. Her saying she didn’t know, either.
Under the table, I put my hand over Lily’s. “I want to memorize everything about you. I want to know you, inside and out, so I can show you how much I care. In all the ways that it matters.”
A confession of love hangs in the air while Liliana intertwines our fingers. If I haven’t made it obvious how crazy I am about her yet, then I’m not doing my job right.
But now isn’t the time to tell her how hopelessly I’ve fallen for her. I planned this to be a night for something else, but equally as special.
Liliana kisses my cheek, eyes shimmering with appreciation. She whispers in my ear that I’m the sweetest guy she knows before digging into one of the slices of cake.
This is the right moment to ask the question and make good on every fantasy I’ve had of her since the day we met.
“Can I be your boyfriend?”
Lily starts choking instantly, coughing and pounding on the space of her chest.
Fuck. Okay, maybe it wasn’t the right moment.
I rush to get her a glass of water and rub her back while she half-coughs and half-laughs.
When the sputtering fit is over, her eyes are glassy, face red from a lack of oxygen over the last few minutes.
With her bearing finally in place, she says, “What the hell, Grant?”
“Sorry.” I wince and wipe the smear of frosting on her chin. “I didn’t mean to catch you so off guard. I was really into the moment.”
For a second, I’m afraid she’s upset she had a near-death experience via cake because of me. The sweet sound of her laugh continues to fill up the space, though, and I sigh in relief.
“You could have waited until I swallowed, at least.”
I will the heat in my slacks away. Again.
Not yet.
In the middle of her giggles, she leans over and presses her lips onto mine in a hazelnut mocha kiss.
“The answer is yes, by the way.”
“Yeah?” I grab onto the leg of her chair and move her closer. I had little doubt she’d say yes, but the answer plasters a wide smile across my face anyways. “Yes, what?”
She rolls her eyes. Hands cradle my jaw and everything feels right in the world.
“Yes, Grant. I’ll be your girlfriend.”