Chapter 6
CHLOE
“I talked to him.”
“What? Hello? Chlo?”
“I talked to him,” I repeat, louder this time.
Talia sighs, and I hear what sounds like a car door closing and a bunch of rustling. Then finally, she says, “Sorry. I was trying to get my life together and get in the car. Give me a second. Let me connect you to my Bluetooth.”
There’s more shuffling and many curse words. I grin. My best friend has always been a little chaotic, and it’s comforting knowing even though she’s over two thousand miles away, she’s still just Talia.
“All right. I’m here. Are you there?”
“Yes. Where are you going? Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“Ugh, yes.” She groans. “And I have so much shit to do today that I need to get done or my dad is going to murder me. But noooo.” She lets out an irritated growl.
“I am on the way to pick up your nephew from school early. He allegedly threw up, but I’m like ninety-nine percent sure he’s just trying to get out of taking his science quiz this afternoon. ”
I snicker, proud of the kid who isn’t actually my nephew, but close enough that he’s called me Auntie Chloe since he could talk. “Smart kid. Science is so boring.”
“Says the girl who used to work in a lab.”
“Exactly. I was a technician who hated my job with a passion because science bored me and made my eyes glaze over.”
She laughs. “I remember when you got the job, and you cried because you wanted to do quite literally anything else with your life. Now look at you, traveling the world and writing, just like you always wanted to do.”
Her words aren’t entirely true. While writing was always a passion of mine and secretly what I wanted to do for a living, this wasn’t how I wanted it to happen.
I thought I’d maybe write a book, possibly two.
Or write articles for a big, fancy paper.
I had no idea I’d be traveling and freelancing my way through life, never knowing when I’d be getting paid or where my next assignment might come from.
While I love it most of the time, I’m still not so sure it’s everything I ever wanted, mostly because there’s only one thing I’ve ever been absolutely certain about, and I don’t even have that anymore.
“So, what’s up? Why’d you call?”
A wave of unease passes through me at the mention of what happened just an hour ago. “Seattle is…okay.”
“Just okay?” I can picture her wrinkling her perfectly shaped brows. “Because your voice sounds all weird. Did something happen?”
For a moment, I rethink the entire call and debate whether I should tell her I saw my husband at all.
The problem is that Talia knows me better than just about anyone else, and she’ll figure it out soon enough anyway.
Besides, I need someone to talk to about this.
I’m having far too much anxiety about it as it is.
Maybe she can help make sense of what I’m feeling.
“I saw Callum.”
Aside from the pounding in my ears, there’s silence.
“Tally? Did I lose you? Did your Bluetooth disconnect? You really need to get a new car, you know.”
“First of all, you’re right about the car. I hate this old clunker. But it wasn’t that. I’m just…in shock. I thought you weren’t going to see him unless you got the job.” She gasps. “Wait, does that mean you got it? Oh my gosh, congratulations!”
I wince at her enthusiasm. Talia’s always been my biggest cheerleader. “Uh, thank you, but no, I did not get the job. If anything, I got harassed by the guy they sent to wow me.”
“What?!” She screeches so loudly I have to pull the phone away from my ear. “—fucking kidding me?” she’s saying when I put it back. “Give me the asshole’s name. I’ll take care of him right quick.”
I laugh, and I realize it’s the first time I’ve done so genuinely since I came to Washington. Leave it to Talia to make it happen. She’s always had a way of breaking through whatever shit I have going on.
“Calm down. No need to go all mama bear on me.”
“Um, yes, there is. Remember when you were in London, and your boss at the paper was being a total wanker? Who was it that got him fired again?”
I giggle just thinking about it. “You, my amazing queen. Even though you really didn’t have to go that hard with it.”
“Girl, he was cheating on his wife, with whom he had three kids. I absolutely did. Besides, if he didn’t want to be found out, maybe he should have hidden his face in his dating profile pictures. Or, you know, not made the money he was stealing so easy to trace.”
When I told her my former employer wouldn’t allow me to cover a story on a men’s football game because I “didn’t have the right equipment in my trousers,” she went full scorched earth and aired all his dirty laundry, leading to his removal as CEO.
If Talia weren’t so set on staying in Tennessee, she’d make a damn good FBI agent.
“Are you sure you’re good?” she asks.
I nod even though she can’t see me. “Yes. It’s been handled. Plus, the paper is letting me stay in this swanky hotel on their dime, hoping I’ll come around, but I don’t plan to. I am not working for a company that employs people like that.”
“And you shouldn’t have to. I’m proud of you. But you know I’m here for you no matter what.”
“I know, and it’s exactly why I love you.”
“Hmm, right. So much that you went to see your estranged husband without consulting me first?”
The look on Callum’s face as I walked out of his apartment flashes through my mind, and not for the first time since I left.
It’s all I thought of as I walked back to my hotel, which is surprisingly close to his place, and again as I crawled into the too-hard bed and put the pillow over my face.
It was all I could think to do to try to rid myself of the tidal wave of emotions attacking me.
I knew going to his apartment would bring up all kinds of feelings. I just never expected unease would be one of them. I felt it from the moment I knocked on his door, and it only got worse when he opened it.
It wasn’t because I didn’t want to see him—of course I did—it was because for the first time, I wasn’t sure how to act around him.
I haven’t felt that flustered since he sat next to me in creative writing.
I remember how my cheeks would get hot, and I’d shake with the anticipation of seeing him.
It never mattered if we talked or not. I just wanted to be near him.
I felt an inkling of that today, too, even if it was awkward.
And it made me realize just how far we’ve let our relationship fall away from us, and I don’t just mean over the last three years we’ve been separated.
It started before then. Our conversations grew stilted.
We chose our words more carefully. We stopped being us.
“So how was it?” Talia asks, pulling my attention back to our phone call.
“Uh, it was…strange.”
“Well, yeah, I bet it was. You haven’t seen him in the flesh since, what, when you left for London, right?”
“Yeah, not since then.”
The lie is tangy on my tongue. Callum might not have seen me since then, but I’ve seen him.
Sure, it’s been from the stands in various arenas across North America, but it still counts.
Any time he came to a city near wherever I was at the time, I made a point to go to his games.
We might not have been on the best of terms, but I still wanted to be there for him.
And selfishly, I wanted to see if he still gave me the same butterflies as before. He did, and they’ve always left me feeling just as confused as I was the day I told him I wouldn’t be coming to Seattle with him and I’d be staying in London.
It was the first time in my life I had a say in where I went.
My college was picked for me, based on what my parents could afford.
Then, when Callum and I got married, everything was about his career.
I understood it. I accepted it. He had worked his entire life to get to the NHL, and I wanted that for him.
I just wasn’t sure I wanted it for me anymore.
“So…is he still hot? I mean, in person. I see him on TV all the time.”
I laugh, because of course that’s what Talia asks about.
“Yes.”
“Girl, shut up. I can hear the blush in your voice. It’s the tattoos, isn’t it?”
My free hand goes to my cheek, and as my best friend predicted, it’s inflamed.
Because, yes, Callum still looks good even after all these years.
The added tattoos have made him look darker and a little scarier, but I’ve always loved the edge he has.
While he’s been charming to me from the start, he wasn’t that way with everyone else.
He was personable and approachable, but always with a mysterious air around him.
He still has that, maybe even a bit more now, and I would have been a fool not to notice it.
I clear my throat. “I told him I’m going to stay.”
Another pause from Talia, then, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Honestly?” I exhale heavily. “No. But I feel like I need to, you know? Even if it means…”
I don’t say the words out loud, but she knows exactly what I’m getting at—even if it means we officially end things.
“Can I be candid with you?”
I laugh lightly. “Haven’t you always been, Tally?”
“Yes, because someone needs to.” I can faintly hear her blinker in the background, and based on how long we’ve been on the phone, I’m sure she’s getting close to the school.
“You know I love that you went to London. Hell, I was the one who pushed you to apply for the internship in the first place. You did the thing, and I’m beyond proud of you for it.
Yes, it dredged up a bunch of other shit, and you were gone longer than you ever intended to be, which has made things harder with your husband, but… ”
She drags out the last word, then sighs, and I steel myself, knowing there’s a chance I’m not going to like what she says next.