Chapter 10
Mireya
Play - You Found Me by The Fray
New Beginning
“I think it's just ahead,” Hayzel says, looking down at the map that’s clutched in her hands as we drive up the rocky mountain, rounding the sharp corners.
Everything is immensely high and strange, with the mist fogging up in the distance and the waves crashing against the shore.
“Rey!”
“I heard you, woman,” I reply, shaking my head.
I follow the sign that says Students Parking Bay in dark blue ink.
I don’t know why, but every time something stressful happens, I dissociate. I know it’s stupid, I should be happy, and I am. But this is serious, the whole St. Ellesta training isn’t just a try that I can throw away. It’s… more important than that. And it is stressful.
I’ve always been stressed.
Mom’s state stressed me, Dad’s alcohol addiction stressed me, my little brother’s birth stressed me, because I knew this house wasn’t made for children, as a child myself.
Going to sleep stressed me too. Stress is just a part of who I am.
My nervous system kicks into overdrive every time something happens; good, bad, doesn’t matter.
Right now, I can feel it, that tiny anxious voice in my brain, screaming about how badly everything will fall apart if I let my hopes get too high.
You’ll never touch the sky, stupid girl.
I don’t remember parking the car, or getting out of it, even Hayzel pausing for a few moments after talking a thousand miles per hour. I don’t remember any of it.
“I can’t believe we are here,” Hayzel says excitedly, wrapping her arms around me.
I love Hayzel, I do, I’d take a bullet for her, but she knows how I feel about affection, especially in public.
I let her take my hand sometimes, hug me even if my arms can’t hold her like that, let her lean against me, because I know it’s how she shows her love.
But she doesn’t notice the way I stiffen when someone walks by, or how my fingers curl into mine a little too tightly before letting go.
She doesn’t see the small pause in my chest, that tiny instinct to pull away.
My body has forgotten how to stay still beneath someone else’s touch, and I hate how natural it feels to pull away from her. But somehow, I let it happen anyway, because it’s her.
I only feel like I have to show that to Milo because I’m the only person able to do that.
“Hayzel…Please, let go of me now.”
She takes a step back, her gaze meeting mine as I watch her fold her arms, tucking them against her chest, “Please tell me you aren’t still festering about leaving Milo at Nana’s? You’ve been in a mood ever since we drove up here, Rey.”
I run my hand through my hair as the cool ocean breeze blows through the small courtyard, engulfing us with its bitterness. “Don’t worry, everything is okay.”
Hayzel’s hands fall to her waist as a knowing look spreads across her face. “Trust yourself. You’ve worked hard to be accepted here. You’ve been training secretly since you were fifteen, Rey. Relax, you deserve to be here more than anyone else.”
She takes my arm before leading me into the main building. Everyone is arriving at once; students, teachers, coaches. A person is standing in the middle behind a small table with maps to help us find our rooms.
“Is there a Mireya Vitelli and Hayzel Wynn?” She announces as we approach the small table.
“Yeah, we're here,” Hayzel says as she takes the keycards and campus map print outs.
“Welcome to St. Ellesta,” the woman says sharply.
Hayzel practically runs guiding us through the hallway with a big smile and my heart warms at how happy she looks. We have our keys and room numbers. It’s official now. I can’t back down.
“It’s huge, we might get lost,” Hayzel says as we approach the dormitory campus next to the building. “It’s a bit scary, don’t you think?” she asks.
“A little, but I like it,” I reply as we approach a long staircase.
“We have to climb all of this?” Hayzel asks, her eyes wide, before turning around and looking at our suitcases. “They train us even before classes start.”
After what felt like an eternity of pure horror, with no breath left in our lungs, we finally reached our two rooms, which were right next to each other.
Apparently, there were no more rooms available on the student side, as we were accepted much later than others, so we ended up very close to the teachers' dormitory.
“Okay, let’s open yours first,” she tells me before opening my room.
The dorm room is plain—beige walls, one bed, one desk near the window.
I set my bag on the floor and kneel to open Blue's carrier. Hayzel steps behind me, looking around while I unclip the latch. Blue slips out as soon as the door opens, tail up, sniffing the corners like it's his territory now. The walls are blank. I don’t know why it catches my attention so much. Maybe it’s the fact that there’s nothing here that says a person lives in this room.
I feel like here, I might be able to draw more and finally finish a sketch.
“Hmm…looks kinda depressing,” Hayzel says as she looks out the window. I join her a few seconds later and mimic her. I can see the ocean from here, we’re really high on the cliff in this campus. “I don’t know, the view is pretty at least.”
“Yeah true, I guess my room won’t be that different.”
By the time we finish unpacking, both rooms actually look better. My clothes are folded away, my sketchbooks are stacked on the desk, the shell jar is perched high on it, and Hayzel managed to find a place to put Blue’s little house I bought so he can look out the window.
We sat on the floor with two instant noodle cups we picked up in town and two bottles of water. Blue ended up on my lap halfway through, already exhausted from exploring every corner.
It’s quiet in a good way.
Silence sometimes, makes you realize how tired you are, and how real tomorrow suddenly feels. Classes start in the morning, new schedule, new building, new people I’m supposed to learn to work with. I stroke the top of Blue’s head and lean back against the bed frame.
“I’m going back to my room, Rey. Try to get some sleep tonight, okay?”
She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and pokes Blue’s nose before getting out.
“Have a good night, Hayzel.”
“Love you to purgatory and back.”
“To purgatory and back,” I reply as she disappears.
Tomorrow, everything begins.