Chapter 94
Damien
Play - Flawless by The Neighbourhood
Memories and Melancholia
The cold presses hard against the windows of the massive gymnasium, frost already covering up half of them. It is cold here, on top of the cliff. That’s why we need to teach them how to adapt even if most of them are going to complain about it.
Fluorescent lights shine over our heads as every pair of students start to align in front of their designated instructor. The gym is limited by zones, mine is on the left.
Close-quarters combat under cognitive load. A cold place, heavy lights and no mattress to help. Thinking while fighting, deciding the next move when your stress levels are high is important and I should be focused on it.
Instead my eyes wonder until they find her.
I hate how easy it is to see her in any room and still feel like I have lost her.
It’s instinctive now, my eyes search for her every time.
She’s standing next to her designated instructor for today like nothing happened.
Like she didn’t wake up on my couch with blood on her skin and fear buried so deeply in her eyes that I still see them when I close mine.
I spent days after that telling myself that giving her space was the right thing to do but she didn’t even give me a choice. When I came back home the next morning she was gone.
The blankets were still where she had been lying, the glass of water I left beside her was still untouched, everything looked the same.
Apart from the star she left on my desk.
Perfectly folded, ink spilling from the center but I couldn’t read the word.
I did what she probably wanted me to do.
I threw it after making a wish, and let her be.
She kept going out the days after. Every night I would see her getting in her car with Hayzel and Bennett, and a few hours later she would come back confused and tired.
I used to be the person she came to when it hurts, and now I’m the person she runs from.
So I kept looking at her before her eyes met mine. Then I turned back to my students for the day. I stood in front of my designated pair. Hayzel is one of them.
She smiles before exhaling between her hands to warm them up, and then she looks at her right and yells, “Reya, beat Ethan’s ass!”
I hear a few murmurs and laughs from the rest of the students.
“Miss Wynn, you need to stay focused,” I say, mirroring her as I watch Mireya and that boy stand in front of Ms Green.
Why does this bother me?
Ethan Bennett has a cheeky smile on his face while looking at her.
“I’ll go easy on her, Hayzel, don’t worry.” I hear him reply which makes my jaw tense.
But then I see Mireya tripping him as he falls on his ass and a smile tugs at my lips before I could stop it. That’s good.
“She’s going to kill him, it’s going to be fun,” Hayzel says to her partner for today, Will Anderson, a shy student who’s not really good at combat training but incredibly smart.
He smiles shyly before they go over some basic defence drills.
I shake my head as I watch Ms Wynn’s facial expression before Will falls after a few seconds.
“You're thinking too much Anderson, get back up now.”
“Sir, she's insane,” he replies as Hayzel laughs and offers him a hand but I stop her immediately.
“There’s no camaraderie today. Anderson, sequences will get you killed if you hesitate every time you have to hit her.”
Anderson starts to get more confident as the exercise becomes harder.
“Keep your base lower, Wynn, you’re giving him leverage every time you shift your weight like that,” I say, trying to focus on them, but my eyes drift elsewhere.
Bennett went low and Mireya countered, taking him down quickly, she redirected his momentum and brought him to the ground, following him on the fall.
She stays there, on top of him. She’s pinning him there, her hands controlling his wrists.
His breathing changes as he looks up at her half smirking like it was a fucking seduction game.
I crossed the distance before thinking twice about this, leaving my pair mid-fight. I was already there before I’d decided to be and kneel next to Bennett’s head. He looked up at me, confused at first.
“Get up, Bennett.” I don’t even recognize my voice.
“We’re in the middle of something, Mr Caldwell,” he smiles as he replies.
“It’s not a sleep-over, boy. You get up and fight,” I reply, as my eyes meet with Mireya’s, who’s looking at me like I’m acting insane.
“What a way to ruin our moment, Reya. As much as I love having you on top of me, our teacher doesn’t like it,” Bennett says as Mireya gets up off him.
“I’m going to ruin your face, Bennett,” she replies, pulling her hair back into a ponytail.
Bennett looks at me now that he’s standing and whispers with a smile, “See? She’s such a flirt.”
What if I beat him up right now? I laugh, looking at both of them as they get back to their initial position, and sense someone coming beside me.
“Mr Caldwell, is everything okay?”
Ms Green looks confused too and I think I know what I’d like to do for this training.
“I thought about doing a collective exercise, showing them how to take down their opponent, what do you think?”
She nods and asks, “It’s not a bad idea, they’re lacking control. Who do you want to start with?”
“Bennett.”
Ms Green reaches down to pick up her whistle. She blows into it, gaining the attention of the students. “Stop what you’re doing and gather around in a circle.”
I stand beside her as I watch them all follow the orders.
“You all lack precision. This entire training is for you to adapt in difficult situations that could be nerve racking. Mr Caldwell will pick a student to show you how to control the environment you’re fighting in, instead of letting it take over you. ”
I take off my glasses as my eyes meet Mireya. She’s breathing heavily, her cheeks are red and her brows furrowed. She looks beautiful like this. All worn out from fighting.
“Bennett, come on,” I say, going in the middle as he nods and walks toward me.
He gets into the circle, rolling his shoulders once, loosening his neck. He even smiles at the others watching, like this was a demonstration he’d already passed in his head.
I let him enjoy that idea for a moment. Then I turned slightly, addressing the room. “People underestimate control in stressful environments,” I say calmly. “Noise, pressure, eyes on you… none of it matters if your fundamentals are stable.”
A few of them nod, some were watching him, some were watching me. I could feel her gaze too, even if I didn’t look for it.
I turn back to him and speak, “Move. Don’t hold back.”
He doesn’t reply yet, then a short laugh appears under his breath. “I might hurt you.”
“No, I don’t think you will.”
That was enough for him to come forward. Fast, and stupidly confident, committing early, exactly what I wanted. Predictable aggression dressed as certainty. He reaches for me, and I let him think he has it, for half a second. Then I break it.
A clean entry, an angle change, some weight redirected before his grip even settles. His balance collapses and he hits the mat harder than expected. A small sound left him, sounding like he’s in pain already.
But I don't care at all, I kneel beside him as he tries to push up, and stop him with two fingers on his shoulder. Then I lean in, talking low enough that only he could hear. “That’s what happens when you try to be disrespectful in front of me.”
His breathing is uneven now, so I continue quietly, “This shit show you did earlier with Mireya, don't ever do that again. Next time you do, you won’t get back up this easily.”
He stays down for a moment longer than necessary before forcing himself upright, slower now and I stand as the students start to yell and smile.
And just like that, I was no longer in the center, back to being a professor again. As if nothing had happened. But I felt her eyes on me.
Still.
And this time, I didn’t pretend I didn’t notice.
I walk back to the rest of the students, passing by her and let my fingers softly brush hers.
“Don’t let him touch you again,” I whisper softly as I get out of here.