Chapter 118
Mireya
Play - Orbiter by Noah Kahan
The End Already
The weekend after our last exams feels strangely unreal. For the first time in months, there is no training, no notes spread across the table, no deadlines, nothing left to study.
I should be relieved, instead anxiety comes back. Maybe that’s what this year has done to me. It taught me that even good things can feel frightening when you’ve spent so long waiting for the next terrible event in your life.
A year away from home. A year away from my brother.
A year of losing and trying to find myself again, of falling back into self destructive habits I’d promised myself I’d left behind.
A year of grief, of secrets, of the case that consumed me.
A year of wanting him, pushing him away, and wanting him again.
And now it’s ending. St. Ellesta is ending. Seraphin Bay is ending.
Soon I’ll be leaving again, and everyone keeps talking about what’s coming next. But I don’t tell them that some part of me has already begun saying goodbye to this life.
Instead I’m sitting at Heath’s cafe, Hayzel’s laptop open in front of us, and both of us staring at the page. Damien is in front of me, calm as ever, confident, no drop of stress in those eyes.
I keep refreshing the page, but Hayzel loses interest in it and steals pieces of my pastry.
“What if they’re not what I think?” I say, anxious.
Damien looks up at me. “They will be.”
I shake my head before letting it fall on my crossed arms. “You don’t know that.
He leans in, and I lift my head to meet his eyes. “I know you.”
Hayzel nods at his reply and squeezes my hand. “You’re going to wear a hole through the laptop, Reya. You need to calm down.”
“I’m not even doing anything,” I reply, reaching for Damien's coffee cup. He pushes it further toward me with his hand and I grab it immediately. His always tastes better.
“You’ve refreshed the page twelve times,” she says before taking another bite from my plate.
“Thirteen,” Damien corrects her. And I glare at him, only to be met with a faint smile.
Before I can even answer, his phone buzzes on the table. He glances down at it, then stops.
“What?” Hayzel asks, stressed, or maybe excited. I don’t know anymore with her.
He looks at the screen again, not replying and my stomach drops. Gosh he’s impossible to read.
“Damien, tell us!” I say trying to make him talk. The wait is unbearable. We need to know, I need to know to believe I didn’t waste an entire year for nothing.
That’s when he turns the phone toward us, the email is open. Results are in.
Hayzel practically climbs over the table and I move immediately to be next to him. His hand finds my waist as he pulls me closer, angling the screen in front of us.
I lean closer, searching for Hayzel’s name first, and I find it, then search for mine. My name is there too. Hayzel’s hand squeezes mine behind Damien’s back and we both read what’s written beside the names.
Hayzel Wynn - Accepted.
Mireya Vitelli - Accepted
I stare at it, once, twice, air is nonexistent in my lungs at that moment, and Hayzel yells, “Oh my god!!” She throws her arms around me so quickly I almost fall on Damien. “We did it, Reya!!”
I laugh, or cry, I don’t know, but I repeat it as I squeeze her tighter, “We did it.”
Damien stands up quickly, his arms come around me next, pulling me into him, and suddenly the months of exhaustion, of anxiety, of doubt, they all crash over me at once.
I bury my face against his chest, not even caring about people around us and he holds me tighter. “Told you, I know you,” he murmurs against my ear.
I close my eyes, breathing him in.
A familiar voice cuts across the coffee shop. “Yes!!”
We all turn at the same time. Heath is standing in the doorway, pointing at Hayzel and I with a wide smile on his face. Hayzel runs to hug him and they scream in unison, “We did it!”
I laugh against Damien as we watch them walk toward us.
Heath’s hand comes to my shoulder, his eyes soft, almost watery. “I knew it,” he says. “I knew you two were going to get in.”
I smile, holding Damien’s hand on my waist and reply softly, “Thank you Heath.”
He pulls Hayzel close to him, ruffling her hair as she complains. “Don’t thank me, you worked your ass off.”
Hayzel raises her coffee cup from the table and screams, “To us, official federal agents!”
I laugh, lifting mine to hers. “To us.”
She mouths a small ‘I love you’, and I mimic her to reply, ‘ to purgatory and back’.
Heath points at us as he goes back behind the counter with a grin. “You two better remember who taught you how to make the best coffee out there.”
I laugh, still tucked against Damien for another second before pulling away, his hand never leaves mine.
Hayzel is already walking to the door, phone in her hand. “I’m calling Nana, I’ll tell her about this,” she says. Then she turns back around and shakes her head. “You can kiss or whatever now.”
I barely have time to look after her before his fingers catch mine. He gives my hand a gentle tug and pulls me back toward him.
My arms wrap around his neck, then he leans in asking with a low voice, “Can I get a kiss?”
I smile, tilting my head to the side, letting my lips brush his for a second then pull back to look at him properly. “Careful. You’re talking to an official federal agent now…”
He grins faintly before leaning in again, “Am I?” he asks before stealing a quick kiss from me.
I blink at him, a small giggle escaping my lips. “That was highly unprofessional, Mister Caldwell.”
He nods, kissing me once more, softer this time, slower, then breathes against my mouth, “I’ll take the risk, Miss Vitelli.”
I laugh quietly, and his hand is still wrapped around my waist when his expression shifts.
“So, what are you choosing?” He asks. “You have two offers.”
“I think I already know…” I pull him closer, letting the smallest smile pull at my mouth.
His eyebrow lifts. “FBI?”
I nod, “Yeah.”
“Why?”
I pretend to consider it then kiss the side of his jaw before whispering, “I don’t know. Something about it seems…convincing.”
His jaw tightens beneath my lips as he murmurs near my ear, “Convincing?”
“Very…” I reply, lifting my head to look at him. His eyes are on mine, and I can see that he understands exactly why I’m choosing this option.
“Then we need to celebrate that.” Before I can answer that, his hands go lower as he presses me against him harder. “I might have an idea.”
Play - Another Love by Tom Odell
By the time we reach the beach it’s already one in the morning.
We can hear the waves crashing in the distance.
The path down was narrow enough that we had to turn sideways in places. The cliffs rose around us, until the rest of Seraphin bay disappeared completely.
There was no road down here, no lights, no sound apart from us walking down there.
Damien had spent half of the walk trying to find a way to convince me that we should have driven his car down here. Apparently narrow paths carved into cliffs were not his idea of a reasonable route.
“I don’t think your car would have survived this,” I say, taking another step down.
“It has suspension,” he replies bluntly.
The beach is hidden between the cliffs, with dark rocks on both sides, and a small stretch of sand leading to the water. You can barely see this place from above. But it’s been Hayzel and I’s secret spot for years.
I slip off my shoes, and walk toward the water. The first wave reaches my feet, cold enough to make me gasp as I turn around.
He watches me and I can see the beginning of a smile.
“Have you ever had a midnight swim, Mister Caldwell?"
He looks out at the water, then back at me. “Not yet.”
I hold out my hand and reply, “Then you should try.”
He shrugs off his shirt, almost lazily, and my eyes follow the movement. Moonlight catches across his shoulders, the scar on his chest, and for a second, I forget that my dress is still on.
“Take off your dress.”
His voice brings me back to the moment and I nod as his mouth curves. I throw it on the sand and tug him toward the water.
The cold reaches our ankles, then our calves and I shiver at the sensation.
He looks at me with an amused expression before asking, “Are you cold?”
I shake my head, lying, and he steps closer, until the water moves around both of us. His hand settles at my waist, then he leans in. “You could use some body heat.”
He pulls me against him and I laugh softly, my arms instinctively wrapping around his shoulder.
“Better?”
I nod, “Much better.”
For a moment, we stay there, staring at each other, water living around us, and the cliffs rising behind the beach. Then his expression softens.
“You’re happy.”
Happiness. I like that, I like that a lot.
I smile and lean closer, letting my forehead rest against his. “I am.”
We float in the cold ocean, holding each other, and all I focus on is his pulse beneath my head.
I’ve learned the rhythm of him. I know when his heart quickens because something has caught him off guard, when it slows because he’s thinking too hard or wants to ask a question but hasn't found the words for it yet.
Somehow, somewhere between all the arguments and all the moments we weren’t supposed to have, I’ve learned how to read his heart and memorize it.
“So,” he says softly as I pull back to look at him. “Federal agent.”
I laugh and push him away, splashing him with the water. “Don’t sound so impressed.”
“I am.”
My smile fades when I look toward the cliffs. “It feels strange…”
He tilts his head, worried for a second. “What does, Mireya?”
“Knowing I’m actually leaving.” I keep thinking of the streets I learned by heart, the coffee shop, the people, the stupid little routines and marks I left on tables, on rocks, anywhere I could.
Everything becomes precious the moment you know you can’t keep it.
“I think I’m going to miss it here,” I whisper.
His thumb moves slowly over my hand before pulling me back closer. “You’ve always been nostalgic of a city that was never kind to you.”
I smile faintly as I look toward the high cliffs again. “I know…”
“Life is waiting for you, somewhere else, somewhere far away from this island.”
“Where?” I ask, knowing exactly what he meant.
“The very convincing thing from the FBI,” he says in a low teasing tone. “Remember?”
I look back up at him, biting a laugh, then says seriously, “You really think I’ll like it there? And Milo, and Blue…Is this even the right decision?”
His gaze lingers on mine, soft, reassuring. I can see myself in his eyes, the version he healed as much as he could.
“You’ll have your brother, your cat, and your best friend not too far away. You’ll have your own place, Mireya. Your own life.” He pauses, his mouth curving a bit. “And you’ll probably have me as your boss.”
I raise an eyebrow, pretending to sigh dramatically. “Authority issues again?”
The faintest chuckle escapes his lips. “You were difficult enough as a student, don’t give me hell there, right?”
“You weren’t exactly my favorite professor either.”
“No?” He asks, his hand wrapping around his chosen place on the curve of my waist, caressing it slowly.
I shake my head though I’m still smiling.
“Give it time,” he says, leaning in and kissing my collarbone. “You might find me more persuasive this time around.”
His gaze drops briefly to my mouth before returning to my eyes.
The water moves around us, carrying us a little closer until there’s barely any space left between us and I rest my head against his chest again, listening to one of the safest melodies beneath my ear.
His hand settles at the back of my neck then.
“You’re going to be all right,” he promises.
I close my eyes, nodding, letting my arms wrap around his back.
“For tonight, don’t do anything,” he adds.
I lift my head, asking softly, “And tomorrow?”
His eyes soften at the question. “Tomorrow you start your life.”
I look at him for a long moment, correcting him, “Our life.”
A smile returns on his lips, and those moments are so rare I want to keep this image engraved in my head forever. “Whatever you decide it is, Mireya.”
I reach for his hand beneath the water and lace my fingers through his, then he looks past me toward the sky and my gaze follows.
A single star has appeared between the clouds and he nods toward it.
“Make a wish,” I say.
He studies me for a moment then brushes my scars with a delicate touch.
“What did you wish for?” I ask.
“You.”
I lean closer, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
The first drop of rain lands on my cheek, then the next one touches my lips.
“Do you think it's a good sign?” He breathes against my mouth.
“The rain is always a good sign.”
His arms tighten around me as the rain begins to fall around us. I closed my eyes and let myself stay there, held against him beneath a dark and crying sky, softly rocked by the ocean and hidden beyond the cliffs.
I feel it still, the need, the tiredness, it’s behind my eyes, behind the smiles. It’s in between his eyes reflecting it.
I don’t need to know what comes next or if I’ll want to be there tomorrow.
Tonight is enough, and this new memory will always be my safest one.