Chapter 119
Mireya
Blink and you’ll miss it
Play - Saturn by Sleeping At Last
The steam from my shower makes the bathroom mirror foggy and I place a finger on the glass creating a star with the condensation.
Keep making wishes, Reya.
It’s 3AM again, and I can’t sleep. In just a few hours Hayzel and I will be walking across the stage at St. Ellesta graduating and the next chapter of our lives will begin.
Under any normal circumstances, I should feel nervous about it but I'm not. I can’t wait to say goodbye to this place. Maybe I’ll finally feel lighter once I’m gone.
I take in my appearance. Dark circles still linger underneath my eyes, fresh scars from last week’s relapse sit strangely on my upper arms. But today isn’t a day for ruminating. So, I take a long breath, push the blue makeup bag away from me, and switch off the light.
I pad barefoot out of the bathroom, Milo is sleeping peacefully in the middle of my bed taking up half of the space and I bite down a laugh as I climb in beside him, pulling the duvet over us.
Blue is completely out of it on his little bed next to the window, he probably didn’t even see Milo coming in. This cat loves his sleepy time.
My little firefly is still afraid of the dark, apparently. I didn’t even hear him come. How long have I been sitting on the bathroom floor, fighting the need?
I’m losing it…
I reach over him to grab my phone off the nightstand and flip it open. My brow furrows as I notice an unread text from Hayzel.
Hayzel: Can you believe that we're graduating?
Me: Yeah, but are you texting me at 3AM? Sleep woman.
Hayzel: Because I’m EXCITED.
Me: Go to sleep, I’m seeing you in a few hours and you can scream then
Hayzel: Buzzkill.
I shake my head before leaning over Milo again to place the phone back onto the nightstand, he jostles a bit before snuggling back into my chest.
I held him tight, as if I could somehow make a promise with my arms that nothing would hurt him ever again.
Maybe that was the cruelest part of this life. I spent so long learning how to save him that I never learned how to save myself.
I lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his hair. “You’ll always be okay. Your big sister got you, firefly,” I whisper.
You’ll be okay.
My eyes are closed, and all I can see is a star flying across the sky for you, little Mireya. Mom is with you. She’s with you and I hope you’re both watching me. I promised you both Milo will always be safe.
He will be.
Mom, dad never found you, but he did find me. At least, he’ll never find Milo long enough to ruin him like he ruined us.
Play - Silence by Marshmello, Khalid
Morning came, Milo and I had our star cookies to mark the day and Hayzel passed by to make sure everything was okay. I’m pretty sure she was just too excited to stay in one place like a normal person.
She stole a few cookies, played with Blue and even brought him a soft blanket because apparently she had to thank him for being his second best friend this year.
I’m in my room, searching for my phone when Milo comes in with a pile of stuff. Even Blue is concerned as he stares at him holding a gigantic pyramid of shirts and pants.
“Emm…what’s happening?” I ask as he throws the clothing down on the bed with force.
“Go get dressed, Reya. I need to pick an outfit,” he says, rolling his eyes.
“Okay…but, can you explain why you have all these clothes on my bed?”
I watch his small hands go through the variety of shirts. “Nana said I look older when I dress up well.”
I hold my hands up, shaking my head. “I’m going to the bathroom…”
After a quick shower under Blue’s supervision, and an even quicker getting-ready session , I get back in the room and find Milo fully dressed.
I smile at him as he prances around the room with the radio on full blast.
“Ready to go baby?”
He turns to me looking rather startled and I bite back a laugh,
“You’re okay, baby…I was just saying are you ready to go?”
He beams at me before nodding.
“Great, just give me a second…I just need to check if Blue has everything set up for tonight!”
“Can I play with him before we leave? he asks.
“Of course, go downstairs, but make sure the windows are closed!” I yell as he’s already out of my vision, descending the stairs with Blue following him.
Food, check. Water, check. Toys everywhere in the room, check. Blanket near the window, check.
Everything looks good.
After a few more minutes, I join Milo downstairs, he’s running around with Blue sprinting behind him.
I’m about to speak when someone knocks at the door.
“I’ll open it!” I say, as Milo stops moving.
Behind the door, a beautiful Hayzel all ready for the graduation and a smiling Edna are waiting for me.
“Graduation day!” Hayzel screams as she comes in to hug me.
I laugh, pushing her away gently. “Alright alright, you’re excited.”
She nods, then Edna’s turn now. Another hug, a soft kiss on my cheek and she stops to stare at me.
“I’m proud of you, my little Reya,” she whispers, and I fight the tears that try to break free from me.
Edna gave me an escape for years, a place I could call home, a family. She gave me seven minutes of her time every day to make sure I’d feel heard.
That seven minute thing was a secret between us.
When I was younger, she told me that all I needed, whenever the thoughts got too loud and too mean, was to talk to someone I trusted for seven minutes.
Then I’d remember how loved I was by that person, and somehow, it would be enough to fight the dark voices in my head.
And I think I survived, because every now and then, she gave me seven minutes.
We quickly had to leave the house, after both Hayzel and I kissed Blue a million times and her pushing me out because I hate leaving him alone for too long.
Edna pauses at the entrance, pulling out a camera from her bag. “You two stay here, I need to take a picture of this moment,” she says.
Hayzel’s arm is already intertwined with mine and I understand that no protest will be allowed today.
“Sissy, you need to smile okay?” Milo yells with his thumbs up behind Edna’s
I laugh and shake my head. “Okay, but let’s make it quick.”
“Right girls, on three… One, two…three and, smile!” Edna screams as I blink awkwardly, blinded by the sudden flash of light and Hayzel squeals.
“Picture time is over, let’s go now,” I tell them as I lock the door behind me.
Hayzel is already in Nana’s car, and Milo in mine. He loves this new one, he always says that he is going to steal it from me the moment he learns to drive.
I reach Edna before she gets inside and stop here
“Nana, I just wanted to tell you, thank you,” I say shyly, my voice breaking at the end. “None of this would have been possible if it wasn’t for you.”
Her smile is soft when she brushes her hand over my cheek. “You never have to thank me. You’re my little Reya, and I will always take care of you.”
I hug her as much as I can and smile back before getting in the car where Milo is already dancing to nothing.
“Let's go baby,” I say, pulling down the windows.
Graduation day.
Good memories.
Only good ones.