Chapter 47
Atem
Atem's limbs were sore from lifting weights until they failed.
His claws ached in their beds from overuse against the army of practice dummies he had shredded his way through.
His tendons and muscles still bore the strain of his stretches.
He was fresh from the shower he took afterwards, but he had been dripping with sweat, his body worked until it was too tired to continue.
But more importantly, until he was too tired to maintain his anger.
Finally prepared to have this conversation with his mate, to try to understand why she would lie to him even when he knew the truth, he returned.
But the sight of her trembling in her nest hit him hard. The guilt was a bitter taste in the back of his throat. Only made worse when she couldn't bring herself to come near him.
His adassi should never hesitate to come to him. If she felt like such a thing was unwelcome, he had done very wrong by her.
That was why he immediately closed the distance between them. She looked surprised at his approach, but she didn't attempt to back away. He came to a halt with only a single step between them. Not so close that he forced his presence on her, but close enough that she could take in his scent.
He was rewarded for his efforts by her nostrils flaring as she immediately took in a breath and some of the tension eased from her frame.
She shifted her weight uneasily.
He licked his lips.
“I'm sorry,” they said at the same time.
She giggled, a bit breathless, and he gave her a contrite smile.
“Sorry,” she said, motioning with her hand. “You go first.”
“No, no. You go ahead.”
She offered him a shaky smile, her fingers wringing together, before she took in a steadying breath. He remained silent and patient.
He would listen this time. Though every part of him was screaming that she was lying, he at least owed it to his adassi to listen.
“I'm sorry for getting so angry,” she said, meeting his eyes with a soft frown.
“I know that what I have to say is impossible.
I know that it's hard to believe. I should have tried to remain calmer.
If I have any defense, it's that my nerves were already stretched to the breaking point and hearing you call me a liar, without even listening, hurt. A lot.”
He winced again. “Vi adassi-”
“Wait, please. I-I'm not done.” She took in a steadying breath and squared her shoulders. “I need to be more patient with you. Especially since I'm coming at you with just an unlikely tale and no evidence, and I know you already have trust issues.”
His eye twitched. She called his suspicions 'issues'.
As though he were the one in the wrong for not wanting to trust every single person around him.
He could admit that most of the time, his wild flights of fancy were just speculation, but he hadn't been stabbed in the back yet, and he considered that a good enough reason not to abandon his way of thinking.
It certainly wasn't an 'issue'.
She grinned wryly, seeing the distaste plain on his features.
“I'm not even saying you're wrong for your trust issue flare up on this one. Objectively, putting myself in your shoes, I can understand. If I was dating a girl and she suddenly showed up pregnant and she tried to tell me that, miraculously, it was mine, I would immediately call her a liar and a cheater too.”
“That is not...” Atem gritted his fangs, angry with himself. He hadn't intended to put this beaten look on his precious Seerin's face. “I know you've not taken another male. I just-”
She put a gentle finger to his lips, silencing him. The touch of his skin on hers made her shudder in relief and his guilt reared its head again, near choking him.
“Just listen. Okay? Don't interrupt for just a minute, and then I’ll give you the same courtesy in return, okay?”
He hummed his consent before she lowered her fingers, smiling at him cautiously.
“I know one thing for absolutely certain: I am pregnant.
They got a dang hologram of my entire womb lit up like a Christmas tree.
Which, once again, I realize means nothing to you.
They highlighted the baby and showed it to me.
Apparently, the human pregnancy hormone is made in the connection between the mother and baby.
I didn't know that. Scarlet did though. And Donivi confirmed that's where it's coming from. So, without a doubt, I'm pregnant.”
He grunted in agreement. He accepted her pregnancy as well.
Even without Scarlet's personal knowledge of human anatomy, he would have accepted Donivi's word alone.
Their scans were highly sensitive and adaptable, and the other females weren't pregnant, so it would have been easy to see that Peony's womb carried something.
His heart ached at the idea. Burning with longing for the pup she would give him. He hadn't even yet had a chance to be excited about that.
And he wasn't given one now as she continued.
“I also know, for a hard fact, that I cannot be pregnant by a human male. The last man I slept with – er, had sex with – was three Earth years ago.”
He had to wet his lips before he could speak. “And how long do humans whelp for?”
She smiled weakly. “Nine turns of our moon. Not even a full year. And our Earth years are shorter than Turv years. If the last man I was with got me pregnant, that baby would already be out and well past his second birthday by now.”
His chest ached, but he refused to consider what she was saying. It was impossible. Hoping what she said was true would only hurt when he was disappointed later.
That thought must have been as obvious on his face as his earlier distaste because she chuckled, reaching out to cover his heart with her hand.
“I also know,” she continued, her grin growing, “that these weird pregnancy symptoms are not human pregnancy symptoms.”
“Every female carries differently.”
“Atem, I drank a cup of blood this morning.”
He blinked, startled. “But humans don't like blood.”
“Actually, it's worse than that. Scarlet said drinking too much blood can be toxic to humans. It's not only something that’s dangerous in high amounts, it's something that I should find viscerally disgusting – likely for that exact reason.”
His belly clenched in fear, and he caught her wrist in hand. “Then, why would you drink it?! Peony, you cannot indulge your pregnancy cravings to the point of harming yourself. Come, we must go to the healing center and make sure-”
She didn't move when he tugged and her hand slipped through his as she laughed, her eyes finally brightening as they lost that scared look. “Atem, I'm fine. I drank it before Donivi scanned me. If it was causing a problem, he would have told me then.”
He growled but didn't fight her on the simple logic. “No more blood, Peony. Not if it will harm you.”
Instead of agreeing with him, his adassi just smiled. Like his words pleased her. She didn't even address them as she continued-
“Food cravings are a human pregnancy symptom. But I'm not supposed to be having nesting instincts this early. Those don't show up in humans until just before delivery. And I definitely shouldn't want to literally build a nest. That's not an instinct we have.”
Atem frowned. “Nest building is a common pregnancy symptom the universe over.”
She nodded sagely. “True. Apparently, separation anxiety is as well.”
“Of course. A whelping female can be very vulnerable. It's only natural that she would want to be near her mate. That is what I-”
She held up a hand, stemming his tide of words.
“Humans don't have that symptom, Atem. Weird food cravings, yes. I'll even give you the nest building one. Maybe my nesting instincts are just turned up to eleven.”
“An oddly specific number,” he frowned.
“But Atem,” she stepped closer, grabbing his arms as if to emphasize her words, “separation anxiety is not a human pregnancy symptom.
No human female ever gets panicky like I did without her male over the course of a few hours.
Not without having some sort of anxiety disorder already.
Which I do not have. That is not a human symptom.
In fact, I'm not having any of the actual human symptoms I would expect, except the loss of my period.”
He frowned. “What symptoms?”
“Well, morning sickness, for one. That's the big one.”
“You become sick of the morning?” He asked, confused how that would work. Was that just a strange way of saying their whelping females slept a lot?
She laughed at the question though. “No.
We're not sick of mornings. We become sick in the morning.
Like, nauseated and start puking type sick.
Some women have it all day. And yes, you're right, all women carry differently and not every woman will get nauseous, but that's like The Big Symptom.
And I have felt absolutely wonderful. No nausea, no dizziness, I'm not even extra tired. None of those things.”
Atem's face pinched with concern. “That is how human females show they're whelping? That just sounds like your own offspring make you sick.”
“Well, yeah. That's pretty much what it is.”
“That sounds miserable.”
She shrugged, as though it were nothing.
“I mean, no one really likes it, but it's what you have to deal with if you want to be pregnant.
And Atem? Did you not hear? I haven't had a single one of those symptoms. All of my symptoms are domini symptoms. I'm craving fresh blood.
Like the baby I'm carrying needs fresh blood, even if, normally, it would make me sick.”
“Ah,” he breathed softly, understanding dawning as he pushed aside the horrible realization that human pregnancies were detrimental to their females. “So, you are basing your assumption on the pup being mine based upon the odd symptoms. But Peony-”
“I know,” she cut him off quickly, still smiling. “I get it. Still impossible. Way more likely that I'm just having a really weird, but still human, pregnancy, right?”
He grunted in affirmation.