Chapter 19
MATHEW
“Doctor Klein, your patient is ready in triage room three.”
Mathew lifted his focus from his tablet. “Thanks, Sue. I’ll be right there.” He swiped out of the chart for a patient that was ready to be discharged, then tucked his tablet under his arm before heading down the hall for the next room.
“Have you been here all day?” Aiden fell into step beside him. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you work a double.”
“I’m not working a double.” Mathew frowned, scanning his mental list of obligations—charts, callbacks, rounds tomorrow. Something else hovered just out of reach, like a name on the tip of his tongue.
“Man, it’s been busy today. Time’s flying.”
“You’re right about that,” Mathew said. “It’s been back-to-back nonstop. I haven’t had a chance to take a reasonable break.”
Aiden laughed and clapped him on the back. “What else is new? I remember how hard it was to get you to take lunch a few months ago. Things have changed.”
Mathew forced a smile, but unease tugged at him anyway. He’d silenced his phone earlier, just until the rush calmed down, and then one emergency blurred into the next. He told himself he’d check it the moment he could breathe.
He never did.
Not until—
A light knock on his office door drew his attention. Mathew glanced up and found Dr. Hastings standing there. “I appreciate your willingness to stay late,” she said, “but it’s settled down enough for you to head home.”
Mathew’s stomach dropped. He looked at the clock.
Almost midnight.
He snatched up his phone, and the screen lit with a missed call.
River. River!
Mathew shot up out of his seat so fast his office chair spun around. With frantic movements, he gathered his keys and his satchel with the files he’d need to go over before he came back tomorrow.
Today had been an off day. He’d taken an earlier shift so he could spend the evening with River.
They were going to take in a late dinner together.
For whatever reason, he’d forgotten all about their plans.
He wanted to blame it on his busy schedule and getting into the zone, but deep down he knew better.
He’d allowed himself to prioritize his work again and push off everything else.
River had called him once. And she’d sent one text message. He read it over and over as he hurried through the quiet hallway toward the parking lot. She’d been worried about him, but that wasn’t what added to his anxiety the most.
It was what she hadn’t said.
Where are you?
They’d had plans. He’d told her he’d pick her up.
But then work reached a new level of busy and he lost track of time.
What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he have texted her to tell her he’d be late? She’d been left wondering, and nothing good would come from that. River deserved better. He could call her right now, but that wouldn’t help. He needed to see her in person.
He needed to apologize.
A quiet sigh slipped past his lips as he made the turn onto his cousins’ property. If he was lucky, she’d still be up. If he was really lucky, she’d be willing to forgive him.
Mathew had made promises. And he’d broken them.
The echo of the door slamming shut reverberated through the night, reminding him of how alone he was—how alone he deserved to be.
His drive to speak to her came to a sudden halt when he stood in front of her door and lifted his hand to knock. River’s apartment was dark. Not a single sound or glow came from inside. She might be asleep.
Or she could be gone.
And he couldn’t decide which one was worse.
So that was why he knocked.
He rapped his knuckles on the door, then stepped back. When she didn’t immediately answer, he paced the small landing in front of her door. Then he gripped the molding that framed the door and hung his head, quietly praying she’d answer.
Mathew knocked again, louder this time. He’d been in such a hurry that he hadn’t even checked to see if her truck was there. Though that didn’t mean much. If she’d gone out with Rose and her friends, then she might not be home.
If that was the case, then he could call her.
The lock on the other side of the door clicked and his heart stopped beating at the same second. When the door opened, he held his breath. And when she came into view, he wanted to fall to his knees and ask for her forgiveness.
This was more than being absent-minded. This was about making a change. This was about bettering himself, and not only promising her that he’d be the man she deserved, but also promising himself that he wasn’t like his father.
And he’d failed.
“Hey,” he whispered.
She blinked at him, bleary-eyed. It was dark, but he could have sworn that her eyes were rimmed with red. Had she been crying? Shoot, she had been.
Mathew swallowed the lump in the back of his throat and reminded himself not to overreact. “I’m really sorry.”
She frowned, her arms folding as she stared at him, unspeaking.
“They asked me to stay a couple of extra hours because it was busy. I said yes, not realizing how long I’d be there.”
Something like understanding flitted behind her expression, but then it hardened. “A couple of hours meant you could have been here only a little late. You said you were working until six, and our plans started at seven. A couple of hours meant you could have been here by nine at the latest.”
He flinched even though there wasn’t any bite to her words. “You’re right.”
“So, what happened?”
“River…”
“What really happened, Mathew?”
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “I lost track of time. The patients kept coming and I got wrapped up in taking care of them. It’s not an excuse,” he hurried on to say. “I just…” He opened his eyes and stared at her, praying she’d believe him. “I should have called.”
“Yes,” she muttered, “you should have.” The pain in her voice was almost enough to knock him to his knees.
Reaching out to her, he exhaled with relief when she didn’t pull away. His knuckle trailed along her jaw, and he offered her a sad smile. “Would you be willing to take a walk with me?”
If anything, River appeared to be stunned by his request. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she told him to go kick rocks. And if she had, he would have listened.
Thankfully, she put him out of his misery with a simple nod. “Let me get dressed.”
Soon, they were walking hand in hand down a trail that led them through the fields on the property. He squeezed her hand and glanced down at her. “It was busy tonight.”
“So you said,” she mused, her tone less upset.
“Like really busy.” He chuckled. “I don’t know what was going on. But every few minutes we had people coming in needing help. Broken bones. Stitches. Heart attacks. The flu is going around. It was… a lot.”
She chuckled along with him. “I get it, Mathew. You were needed.” Was there a tinge of sadness in her voice now?
Would she break it off with him because his job was too demanding of his time?
There were going to be days when he’d be on call.
Copper Creek was small, but that didn’t mean the local ER wasn’t busy.
He huffed out a sigh, not sure how to approach the topic. “I’m sorry.”
River slowed, forcing him to do the same or risk losing contact with him. She frowned up at him, her brows drawing closer together. “Do you think I’m mad that you stayed at work?”
“Well… yeah,” he murmured, gripping the back of his neck. “My work prevented me from our date.”
She shook her head. “This was a one-time thing. And I’m not stupid. I know that your job is important. There will be the occasional instance when you’ll be needed. But that’s not what I’m most upset about.”
“It’s not?”
“No.” River reached up with her free hand and cupped his cheek.
“I’m upset that you didn’t tell me you were staying late.
You’ve been proving to me that you’re prioritizing what we have.
I can see that. You’re making a wonderful effort.
But part of prioritizing me is remembering to call me when our plans have to change. I was worried about you.”
“Worried?” The relief that overcame him felt like taking in a gulp of air for the first time after being starved of oxygen. “So, you’re not mad?”
“Oh, I was pretty upset,” she admitted. “Still am, if I’m honest. But I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend if I didn’t have some understanding.
What you do—your job—it’s incredibly important.
People need doctors. But you’re not the only doctor who works in that hospital.
Saving this town doesn’t fall entirely on your shoulders.
But that’s beside the point, the point is, you should have let me know. ”
He grasped both of her hands together and nodded. “Of course. You’re important to me. I want you to know that.”
“I do.”
Mathew’s jaw tightened as he searched her face for any sign of a lie. Would she lie to him about how she felt? Would she walk away from him when she got tired of waiting for him?
Like Victoria?
She said herself that this was a one-time thing. He knew better than to believe he’d be perfect. He’d have regressions. There was a lot of room for growth when it came to how he wanted to lead his life.
The biggest problem was that he’d been enjoying tonight.
The working part. He’d allowed himself to fall into old habits without another thought for anyone but his patients.
It wouldn’t be difficult to make the excuse that he hadn’t been accountable to anyone but himself for so long, but that wasn’t quite right either.
If it was that easy to forget about his plans with River tonight, then how easy would it be to forget about them again? She deserved better than this.
“Hey,” her soft voice dragged him from his guilt-ridden thoughts. “Where did you go?”
“What do you mean? I’m right here.” He smirked at her, but she wasn’t amused.
“You know what I mean.”
He sighed, then pulled her in for a hug and kissed the crown of her head.
“I’m trying to figure out how to prevent this from happening again.
” It was the most honest he could be with her.
He hadn’t told her about Victoria—or that he’d been married before.
Nothing had come from that marriage but problems, and he wanted to pretend that part of his life never happened.
River didn’t need to know about Victoria yet.
She didn’t need to know he’d failed at being a good husband before.
This relationship they had? It was new. It was important. And he was bound and determined to make it work.
“It’s okay,” she whispered against his chest. “I promise.”
He nodded, but her words weren’t enough to ease his mind.
Later, when he had finished getting ready for bed, his phone buzzed on his side table. Smiling, he reached for the phone to see if River was sending him a goodnight text.
But it wasn’t River.
Victoria: Sometimes I wonder where we went wrong.
Victoria: I miss you.
Mathew scowled at the messages that came in quick succession.
Victoria knew him better than anyone. And there was something about those messages that tugged at a part of him he’d thought had been dormant.
Playing the “what if” game wouldn’t do either of them any good.
Mathew deleted the messages and put his phone away. Tomorrow was a new day. He’d do better.
For River.