Chapter 10
Ten
T he bitter wind swirled Margot’s hair around her face, but she didn’t feel the bite in the air. Her racing thoughts and rioting emotions chased away any discomfort. She knew she should probably go inside, but it felt safer to deal with her emotions out here, where there was space. She wasn’t normally claustrophobic, but the walls of her room had closed in on her shortly after they returned to the hotel. She’d paced the floor for about ten minutes before donning her coat and escaping outside. Now, she was huddled in an alcove at the side of the building, staring at the snow-covered field kitty-corner to the hotel.
Max would likely come looking for her soon. They hadn’t eaten dinner yet. When they returned, she’d mumbled something about needing some time to herself, then fled into her room.
It was cowardly, she knew. Especially after the silence on the hour and a half ride back. But she just needed some room to breathe. Somewhere without anyone’s eyes on her—no matter how kind or well-meaning.
Part of her wanted to walk into that field and scream. Tad was supposed to be behind her. She’d moved on.
But here he was, invading her thoughts and making her sad again. She’d already mourned the loss of her marriage. But she’d never wished him dead. Deep down, she’d harbored hope he’d figure out whatever was going on with him and come back to be a father to Emily and Lily.
That could never happen now.
A tear trickled down her face, the skin of her cheek growing tight as the moisture froze to it. She didn’t bother wiping it away. Another one would just fall. Icicles could form and she wouldn’t care.
Darkness gathered around her. Long shadows fell on the ground from the building and the trees. Streetlights blinked on, chasing some of them away.
The temperature dropped as the sun went down, and soon, Margot couldn’t feel her nose. But she still couldn’t bring her feet to move her body inside. Huddling deeper into her coat, she pulled the hood tighter around her head and tucked her nose in her collar. Her teeth weren’t chattering yet. She’d go in when that happened.
A tall figure rounded the corner of the building. Wind whipped through his dark blond hair and fluttered the lapels of his coat as he walked down the sidewalk, hands stuffed into his pockets.
Max.
Margot saw him before he saw her. Without thinking, she stepped back, still wanting to be alone, but stopped herself before she could fully sink into the shadows. He’d raise the roof if he couldn’t find her. She imagined he was already concerned, since she wasn’t inside. She’d made it no secret it was too cold here for her.
The man was a saint. She didn’t know how she’d lucked into finding a friend like him.
She took a moment to study him. Lately, she’d begun to wish for more than friendship. Taking that leap, though—she wasn’t sure she could. Not with Max. The thought of losing his friendship if something went wrong scared her to no end. He’d been her rock this past year. He and Annabeth. He regularly swooped in and took some of the burden off her shoulders. Everything from staying with the girls so she could grocery shop in peace to cracking a joke that made her laugh. Somewhere along the line, he’d become a fixture in her life.
But it was getting harder to ignore what his smile did to her insides. Or how his kindness turned her heart to mush. The age gap didn’t matter to her. Sure, they had some different early life experiences, but thanks to her lonely childhood, she’d been forced to grow up fast. She’d never felt her age, always older. The calendar said she was thirty-two, but she felt like she shared a worldview with someone closer to forty. Tad was the closest in age she’d ever dated. They were just months apart. But he’d matched her maturity level. Her feelings for a man Max’s age weren’t out of the realm of what was normal for her.
She didn’t know what to do about it. Ignoring it wasn’t really an option anymore. Several times in the last month, she’d stopped herself from leaning in to kiss him. One day, she was going to do it without thinking. He’d be leaving or something, and she’d be distracted and would just lean in and give him a quick peck.
It would change everything.
Once more, her gaze traveled over his tall form as he walked closer. He still hadn’t seen her.
That coat sure did something for his shoulders. They were already broad, but he looked massive in that jacket. And he had legs to match. Dark denim molded to his solid, thick thighs. They were the legs of someone who worked out daily.
But not to excess. They were just right.
Margot stifled a groan and rolled her eyes. How did she go from mourning her ex to salivating over Max?
It was a sign she needed to see a therapist.
Yeah, right. And you’ll work that into your schedule where?
Her inner voice wasn’t wrong. She didn’t have time for therapy.
Which was probably why she was so upset over today’s events. Although, she’d like to think she was upset because, despite what he’d done, she loved Tad, even if she wasn’t in love with him anymore. He was her daughters’ father. A man she’d pledged to love, who’d pledged to love her.
Just like that, the melancholy was back.
Margot huffed.
Dammit.
Max paused, and she knew he’d heard her.
She stepped out of the alcove.
“There you are.” His feet moved again, double-time. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
Margot let out a soft squeak of surprise as he grabbed her, pulling her into his chest for a hug. His palm cradled the back of her head, knocking her hood askew. She clutched the sides of his coat.
Leaning back, he looked at her. “I knocked on your door about forty minutes ago. When you didn’t answer, I thought maybe you were napping or in the shower, so I went and got us dinner. Then you still didn’t answer. I’ve been all over the hotel. What are you doing out here? Have you been out here the whole time?”
“Yeah. I needed some space. Not from you,” she hastened to add. Raising a hand, she repositioned her hood so she could see his face as she looked up at him. “In my head.” She pointed to her temple. “Cold air, staring at a field—it seemed like the best option. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
He let her go and took her hand. “It’s all right. I get it. Come on. Let’s go eat. And get you warmed up.”
That mushy feeling in her heart returned. There was no judgment or anger in his tone or his words. Just acceptance and forgiveness. She was also thankful he didn’t ask questions.
“I’m actually not too cold. Mostly my face. This new coat is great.” Her legs were a little chill, though. The denim covering them wasn’t as protective as the heavy parka.
“I’m glad. You were out here for a while.” Max led her back to the alcove where she’d been hiding. He swiped his key card over the reader by the door and let them inside.
Warmth blasted Margot in the face. A tingle raced through her icy cheeks, and she was acutely aware of her chilled flesh beneath her jeans. Maybe she was colder than she thought.
They walked up the steps just inside the door to their rooms. The trek helped circulate her blood, and an ache started in her thighs.
Yeah. She’d stayed out too long.
“Do you want to eat alone?” Max asked. “It’s okay if you do.”
Margot’s heart flip-flopped. She didn’t deserve this man. And she was done wallowing in her anger and grief. It wouldn’t help anything.
“Actually, I think I’d like the company.”