Chapter Thirty-Three
Thirty-Three
IT COULDN’T BE A COINCIDENCE that she thought she saw Isaiah on the ferry.
What the hell was happening and why hadn’t she just told Gray everything?
Things were different between them after last night.
Different than anything she’d ever known.
She’d thought there was something wrong with her for not opening herself fully to the people she’d had and lost in her life, but now, she knew it was her gut instinct protecting her.
She knew with every certainty she possessed that Gray would not judge her based on who she was or what she hadn’t told him.
They’d already had an undeniable chemistry and connection, but after spending the night together, her thoughts whirled with all sorts of what-ifs about some kind of future with him.
Then she’d hurt him by shutting him down hard, making it clear that she wouldn’t let him all the way in.
But what was she supposed to say? Sorry, thought I saw my ex-boyfriend.
He crawled back into my life after it blew up, trying to trade in on my dad’s name.
She reached over to take Gray’s hand as they drove the car off the ferry and headed back into Smile.
“Grayson,” she said quietly, not entirely sure what to say to put things back the way they’d been before her imagined sighting.
It had to be imagined because there was no plausible explanation for someone she hadn’t seen or talked to in months to be in the remote place she’d run away to.
The place she hadn’t even told her own mother she was at until yesterday.
He glanced over and his eyes were soft, like he couldn’t help caring for her even though she sensed he was trying to maintain a little distance. She understood the sentiment. Should she do the same?
“What’s up?” he asked when she didn’t say anything.
“I just want you to know that last night was probably the best night I’ve had. Being with you has been more than just a surprise. It’s been almost dreamlike.” And she didn’t want her own personal nightmare chasing it away.
“I feel the same. I’ve never been in this particular situation before.” He switched lanes, taking an exit off to a more rural road.
“What situation is that?”
One more glance, this one full of questions. “I care about you, but I know there’s an end date. I trust you but know you’re hiding things. I’m not sure how to control my feelings so I don’t lose too much when this is over.”
A golf-ball-sized lump lodged in her throat and she squeezed his hand tightly.
“We have a couple of choices. We can walk away now before either of us falls too hard. We can keep things light and carry on as we are, knowing that we went into this because it was temporary and neither of us was looking for more.”
Gray turned onto a street that made Smile seem like every other city, despite its size.
It had a bigger grocery store, a couple of gas stations, several eateries and coffee shops, the town hall, and a police station.
He pulled into a parking lot where he kept his car, cut the engine, and turned to her, undoing his seat belt.
“Last night was amazing. I think I just got caught up in that. You’re right. We went into this knowing exactly what it was and would be, and you don’t owe me anything. But you almost looked scared on the ferry. I’m here if you need anything.”
Undoing her own seat belt, she reached for him, curling her arms around his neck and bringing her forehead to his. “I know that. And it’s literally my lifeline right now.”
They shared a soft, lingering kiss that took the edge off the unease she’d been feeling.
Grayson pulled back with a smile. “Let’s go see how Leo and Liam are doing and grab some food.”
They walked toward Middle Street, hand in hand, each of them with their overnight bags slung over their shoulders.
The core of Smile was bustling with tourists.
Charlie saw Beckett outside of his shop, helping a couple get set up with a tandem bike.
Several families strolled along the cobblestone street.
Stores were open, and Charlie couldn’t tell if the people chatting were locals or tourists.
Grayson probably could, though, even with upward of five thousand people living on this island.
“Let’s go see Beckett,” Gray said.
They crossed the street just as Beckett was waving off the couple.
“How was your night, lovebirds?” Beckett asked with a wide grin.
Charlie laughed but Grayson glared at him.
“Jackass,” Gray muttered.
“Good one,” Beckett said, grinning wider.
He clapped Gray on the shoulder. “Come on. I was just joking. Mostly. Everything is good at the lodge; I called over and talked to Jilly this morning. You’ve got two last-minute check-ins who’ll be waiting at the dock at three.
I can’t run them over here because I’m doing a how-to-ride-a-bike session in the park.
” He eyed Charlie and she felt the urge to slip behind Grayson.
Out of sight. “You could come, Charlie.”
“Oh, I’m good, thanks,” she said.
Grayson put his arm around her and pulled her closer. “We’ll get there.”
“How are Liam and Leo?” She actually wanted to know but it was a good redirect to get the focus off her and being on a bike.
Beckett frowned, looked down the street. From where they stood, they could only make out the curved sign that hung over the building.
“They closed yesterday and haven’t been open yet today. No one’s heard from them. Mo and Gramps are going to talk to each of them.” Beckett turned back to them, worry heavy in his gaze.
Charlie wondered if her idea would backfire. What if they closed their bar and walked away from everyone? What if, when she left, everyone only remembered that she destroyed things: the brothers. Grayson. Bernie?
For the first time in weeks, Charlie was back to wondering if she’d made a mistake coming here.
“Nothing happens overnight. Give them some time. They love that pub. And they love each other. They just have to get out of their own ways,” Grayson said. “We’re going to grab some lunch. I’ll bring the guests over at three. The timing should work perfectly.”
A lanky guy who seemed like a cross between a man and a boy approached the open bay door from inside. He seemed hesitant.
“Hey, Adam,” Grayson said.
Adam lifted one hand in a quick wave, took a step closer to Beckett and stared at the sidewalk. “Beckett, Mrs. Hoffrey called and asked about bringing some bikes to the elementary school when they’re in session and doing a bike clinic.”
“Oh. Okay, thanks, Adam. This is Charlie; Charlie, Adam. He works for me and is our neighbor. He lives in the apartment across the hall from Presley and me.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Adam,” Charlie said.
“I’m not sure if by bike clinic she means how to fix bikes or how to ride bikes,” Adam said, running a hand through his slightly shaggy hair.
Beckett chuckled. “I’ll call her back.”
“You all ready for the wedding, Adam?” Grayson asked.
Now, Adam looked up and smiled. “Yes. In five nights. And only three until Beckett’s bachelor party.”
Beckett grinned. “Nothing says wild bachelor party like a Wednesday night.”
Gray shook his head. “You said you wanted something low-key and tame.” He looked at Charlie, still holding her hand. “Jilly and the girls will be at her place for the bachelorette party. I can show you where it is, but you can probably just go with Presley.”
Little tendrils of unease filled her chest. She leaned into him. “I wasn’t invited. I’m not crashing your sister’s bachelorette party, Gray.”
He looked like he wanted to say more. Charlie looked down, feeling like Beckett was watching them closely.
“You need to phone Mrs. Hoffrey, Beckett,” Adam reminded him.
“Right. Have a good lunch, you two. See you later.”
Adam and Beckett went into his shop, leaving Grayson and Charlie on the sidewalk, her feeling like she’d drawn another invisible line.
He couldn’t honestly expect her to just show up at Jillian’s home when she hadn’t been invited.
Sure, they treated her like she belonged, but she wasn’t going to insert herself into a memory-making night.
She wanted to, though, more than she would have imagined.
She saw snippets of what she could have if she just stopped being scared to dive all the way in.
Easing in never helped. She’d told Gray that her friends hadn’t been what she needed, but maybe it was she who fell short.
How could you expect someone to truly open up to you, in a personal capacity that had nothing to do with a profession, if she was unwilling to do the same?
In not trusting her friends with the whole truth, they’d had to find something out about her that they should have learned from Charlie.
“Charlie,” Grayson said, turning to look down at her.
“Grayson. Stop. I’m already coming to the wedding.”
He scowled. “With Bernie.”
Charlie laughed, reached up to smooth the wrinkle in his brow. “I’ll save you several dances.”
She leaned into the kiss he offered, feeling lighter than the last hour or so.
Everything would be okay. She was still safe in this little sanctuary she’d found.
Her brain was tired and overwhelmed and, clearly, playing tricks on her.
Before looking up Bernie, Charlie had never heard of Smile or any of the surrounding areas outside of Michigan.
She’d had to enlarge the map online to even make Smile show up on Google Maps.
What was the likelihood that her ex would randomly show up at a place he probably didn’t know existed?
And more than that, why? There was no reason.
She’d said what she had to say to him. Even before they broke up, when he’d known exactly who she was, there had been an emptiness, a loneliness, that hadn’t felt right.
Now that she was with Grayson, she understood that lo—oh my goodness, caring—caring for someone and getting back what you gave offered a level of intimacy that couldn’t be forced or faked.
Now that she’d been with Grayson, she’d always know what it was like to be cherished.
And instead of worrying about a man who’d never deserved her, she needed to absorb every minute she could of being with a man who’d likely ruined her for all others.