30. The Bliss – Tess
Brad just left to pick up Charlie, and I’m meeting Ivy for lunch. My mind is still reeling from the amazing night Brad and I just had, and I can’t quite put it into perspective. I’ve never felt like this about someone before.
Bliss. I’ve never felt bliss before.
I’ve been happy, sure. Even ecstatic. But never bliss. Things have never felt ‘perfect’ in any relationship I’ve had. And to be honest, it’s kind of scaring the shit out of me.
“Girl, you are giving off weird honeymoon vibes. What’s up with that?” Ivy asks after giving me a hug in the restaurant, her eyes flashing with mischief.
I sit across from her and grin, but even I can feel the fear emanating from me. “Honeymoon vibes?” I consider that. It did feel a bit like a honeymoon. It was only one night, but it was intense. I nod my head from side to side, trying not to let my doubts invade my thoughts and ruin everything. “That’s not too far off the mark.”
“So, what’s off, then? I get the feeling you’re not telling me something.” Ivy’s long dark hair, and intelligent dark eyes always gives her a mystical sort of aura, and when she reads me so clearly like this, it’s only accentuated.
Debating this within myself is going to get me nowhere, fast. So, I give in. “It’s almost too perfect, you know?”
“Is that a real thing?”
“Of course, it is. I’ve never felt this good with someone. There’s got to be something wrong with it. Something’s going to come along and pop this bubble. And whatever it is, is going to devastate me.” Saying it out loud makes me feel better, at least. It’s a scary thing to share your fears with someone, but I know I can trust Ivy.
She leans across the table and pats my hand comfortingly. “Babe, the bubble always bursts. But that’s life. That’s reality. Even honeymoons don’t last forever. The world just doesn’t work that way. Enjoy this one while it lasts.”
“Okay, it may not last forever, but how do I make it last longer? I don’t want to face reality yet.” I laugh, but it’s forced. And it’s the truth – I don’t want this feeling to end, even though it’s mixed with fear that it will.
“Just keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. It’s obviously working.” A sly smile creeps into her mischievous expression. “I have a feeling there’s a lot of killer sex involved…”
The flush on my cheeks is immediate, and I glance around as if everyone else in the restaurant heard what Ivy said. They didn’t, of course, but just flashing back to memories of last night and this morning is enough to make me a little heated.
“There may have been…” While I’m not shy, I’m also not one to kiss and tell. I keep that part of my private life very private. “And that’s all you get.”
Ivy pouts as she leans back and crosses her arms. “You’re no fun.”
I arch a brow, still remembering a particularly hot moment from this morning, when Brad led me back to the bedroom after finding me dancing in the kitchen. The things he did to me…
“That’s not what Brad said this morning…” My grin gives me away.
“You naughty, naughty, girl,” Ivy sings, taking a sip of her mimosa. “God, I wish you weren’t so tight-lipped about that stuff. I need to live vicariously through you.”
As we chat about our love lives over lunch, I try my best to keep the bubble of relationship perfection around me going and ignore the nagging voice in my head telling me to be wary. But it doesn’t work.
My internal insecurities aren’t allowing me to enjoy this fully, and it’s bugging the shit out of me. Why can’t I let myself be happy for once? Just enjoy the high of falling in love.
Wait. Is that what I’m doing? Am I falling in love with Brad Chambers?
Shit. Shit. Shit. I think I am.
I wave down our server.
“Can I get another mimosa?”