Serena
The rest of the day went by quickly enough. Valerie constantly stared at me in the one class we shared in the afternoon with a look of pure hatred. I have never had someone look at me that way before. It sent chills down my spine. Cleo didn’t even look that mad at me when Evan and I started dating. I don’t know why Valerie hates me so much, but my bet is it has to do with the Kings. She wants them for herself, and the feeling does not seem mutual.
I saw Midas grab her and throw her to the ground at lunch. I used the distraction to get out of there. I needed as much space as possible from Zeus. I felt so claustrophobic at that moment, but not because of him. It was because I knew how Evan would react if he saw. I shouldn’t have let Zeus walk me to my locker and the cafeteria. I shouldn’t have let him put his hand on me, even if it sent tingles through my entire body. I shouldn’t have eaten that fry. None of that is allowed.
I wanted to run to the bathroom and expel it from my body. The voices in my head kept telling me that I needed to. Telling me to purge those feelings to make myself feel better. I want to fight back against that voice that sounded like Evan. The voice that should be loving, but it is full of hatred.
I am already so tired of these rules. Texting Evan whenever I go somewhere, and if I don’t, he angrily messages me. This morning, while I was at the café, I texted Evan to let him know. The response I got was Do not order anything but a black coffee. He doesn’t want me to eat pastries or extra sugar and get fat. All I wanted to call him was a sexist pig, but I held back.
This distance between us is putting things into perspective for me. I always felt so trapped because of him. A part of me still does. The little girl that never feels like she is good enough. When I think about it, Evan is the one that made me feel that way. He set impossible standards for me, and I never could reach them. I put my body through so much trying to be better for him. It was never enough.
I agreed to marry him. Granted, that was because I wanted him to stop hurting me that night. This is not what I want in life. I need to talk to him about these rules. They are beyond unreasonable. I can’t live life like this.
I pull the car into the laneway and shut it off. My hands were shaking the whole drive home. His voice never stopped. I should tell him what happened today, but I am scared. It is not like he can hurt me from this far away, but that does not lessen the worry.
I go straight to my room and plop down on the bed. I hit call on his name and waited for his face to come on my screen. It doesn’t take long for him to answer. He looks a little sweaty and out of breath. Evan shushes whoever is in the room before scampering into his bathroom and closing the door behind him.
“Hey, baby.” He breathes out. “Is that what you wore today? You look awful in that dress. It’s much too tight for you. You don’t have the body for it. I told you that before.” He gives me a look of absolute disgust that breaks my heart.
“I thought…” I start saying.
“You thought wrong, don’t wear that dress again.” He cuts in.
I clench my fist and dig my nails into the palm of my hand, anger building in me. I hold back the tears that threaten to fall.
His face softens. “I only say these things because I love you, Serena. I want what is best for you. That includes what you wear. I care too much about you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I hear a door slam behind him. He looks back and curses before turning back to me. Evan gives me a big smile that he rarely gives me. He has always known the right things to say and do to make me forget the bad.
We talk for a bit. Evan tells me about his day, his classes, and his friends. He goes on and on without letting me get a word in, not that I try hard anyway. I prefer to let him talk and keep the conversation going. I don’t know what to say to him half the time anyway.
He continues talking about the wedding. He found a dress he wanted me to wear and ordered it for me. He doesn’t tell me what it looks like, stating he wants it to be a ‘surprise’ for me. I know best, Serena. The dress will look good on you. I roll my eyes. Thankfully, he didn’t notice.
After almost an hour of listening to him drone on about everything, he finally asked how my day was. Internally, I debated if I should tell him or not. I know how he will react, but maybe that is what I want, a reason to make him mad. I grab the hem of the dress and play with it while I recount what happened today. Valerie pushing me to the ground, trying to be catty because I am the new girl. I decided to leave out everything that happened with Zeus. As much as I want a reason not to speak to Evan, the hassle of him being angry is not worth it. Life is easier for me when he is happy. What he doesn”t know won”t hurt him.
Evan”s eyes focus something on his phone. He goes dead silent and sneers down at his phone. He does not say anything to me before he hangs.
It has been three days since Evan and I spoke. I have tried calling and texting, but he has been ignoring me. I still don”t know why he hung up on me and why he is ignoring me. The first day of silence, I enjoyed it. After that, I became worried. Every time I texted, he never even opened them. He has never done that before. I am still texting him and following all his rules. As much as I wanted him mad at me and the space it would give me, this is killing me. I am so paranoid he will get on a plane and fly out here. He is crazy enough to do that.
I’ve even been ignoring Evie lately. I just haven’t felt up to socializing at all. I reverted to my old self, the loner girl who doesn’t want or need other people. I feel terrible for ignoring everyone, but I am used to being alone. At least it’s Friday, and school is almost over.
I have been doing everything I can to ignore and avoid the Kings. It’s been easier said than done. Zeus tried to get me to sit with him at lunch again, and I just walked away from him. I didn’t say anything. I just gave him a sad look and left. I’ve been eating lunch in the library. Odin tried to talk to me, but he eventually got the message that I didn”t want to speak. It hasn’t stopped him from looking at me. I have noticed his eyes following me when he sees me. Midas has been ignoring me as much as I have been him. Every time I see him, he has his arm around Valerie.
The last bell finally rings, and I rush out of the class and down the hall to my locker. The quicker I get my stuff, the sooner I can get home. I grab my bag before closing my locker and rushing out the front door.
Halfway to my car, I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders, pulling me into a solid side and squeezing me into them. I look up to see Odin smiling at me. He looks like a kid in a candy store, so happy and smug. I try to get out of his arms, but he has too strong of a hold on me.
“What do you want, Odin?” I ask nervously.
“Oh… nothing. I am just making sure you make it to your car safely.” He nonchalantly replies.
“How chivalrous of you.” Sarcasm coating my words.
“You know me, a knight in shining armor, princess.” He mockingly says while saluting.
I shake my head and chuckle at his words while we continue walking. I peek up at him through my lashes and take him in. He is this tall, imposing guy that everyone around the school fears. I have heard what people say about him. He is a psycho and a killer. He may seem like this happy guy, but he is secretly the most insane person ever. People are cruel and stupid. How could anyone genuinely think he was a killer? Odin is scary, no denying that, but he isn’t a killer or a psychopath. I haven’t spent much time around him, but I have never felt scared of him. I always feel safe and protected.
Odin pulls me closer to him and moves me out of the way of a football whooshing by. It would have hit me in the head if he hadn’t saved me. I look up at him with wide eyes. How did he see that coming? His eyes dart around us, observing every little detail around him. I try to peak and see who threw the ball, but his hold on me is protective, covering as much of me as possible. When he is satisfied that nothing else is coming towards me, he loosens his grip on me and visibly relaxes his body. He looks down at me, taking in every inch of my face and memorizing every detail. His finger brushed against my cheek, causing a small gasp to leave my lips.
His touch is electric.
Hypnotizing.
All consuming.
I push away from him, breaking contact completely. I can’t feel like that when another man touches me. It’s wrong. I should only let Evan touch me like that, even if he has never made me feel like that from any touch before.
“Any plans tonight?” He asks.
I shake my head and continue walking to my car. He keeps up with me but doesn’t say anything else. He grabs my bag from my shoulder and carries it. He opens the door and tosses my bag in the back seat before closing the door. I go to open my door, but Odin slams his hand over it, keeping it shut, and smiles at me. He cages my body against the side of my car.
Having Odin staring at me the way he is like nothing I have ever felt before. His eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue I have ever seen before, and they hold so much desire and hunger. It should feel so wrong. I should tell him to stop and that I’m with someone else- which he already knows- but I don’t want to. I kind of like the attention. It’s not like when Evan gives me attention. When he does it, it’s mostly criticizing what I am wearing or what I am doing. He has these insane standards that I have no choice but to live up to. I am trying, but I never feel like I will. Odin doesn’t make me feel that way. I don’t feel obligated to be something or someone I’m not.
I’ve only known him for a few days, but he gives me a sense of comfort with him that is foreign to me. I have known Evan for what feels like forever, but it has never felt like this. With Evan, I still feel like I am walking on eggshells every day, trying to be what he wants. He has always been so proper and sophisticated and demands that of me.
Odin is the opposite. He is wild and carefree and seems to accept me for me. You never know what you are going to get with Odin. Or any of the Kings. He lowers his head and brushes his nose against the column of my throat. He inhales my scent, and I can feel him hardening against me. A gasp leaves my lips, and a small moan follows. He feels good against me.
“I’ll be seeing you later, princess.” His voice is low and deep with the promise of his words. It sends a shiver down my spine. Before I can respond, he pushes himself off the door and opens it for me. I slide into my seat. Odin grabs the seatbelts and leans into the car to buckle it for me. When Odin is satisfied, he winks at me and closes the car door.
I watch dumbfounded as he walks over to Midas and Zeus- both waiting at their bikes. They speak for a few minutes before Midas nods. I start my car and pull out of the lot, noticing three motorcycles in my rearview.
Mom is home when I get home from school. She finally finished unboxing everything last night. I offered to help, but she told me to go out and have fun with some friends. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was avoiding the only friends I had made. I didn’t dare tell her about what was going on with Evan. She liked him when we were kids, but as we grew up, she told me on more than one occasion to make new friends. She hated what he was doing to me and who I was becoming. She blames him for a lot.
Deep inside, I know she is right about Evan, but it seemed impossible to leave him. He was the only person in my life. I didn’t have anyone else I could depend on.
I say hi to Mom before walking down the hall to my room. I toss my stuff on my bed and go into the bathroom to turn the shower on. I crank the heat as high as it can go. I strip out of my clothes and turn to look myself in the mirror, methodically examining every inch of my body, like I have done so many times in the past.
I used to be comfortable in my skin until I started dating Evan. That’s when I started seeing the flaws he thought I had. I put my body through so much to make others happy. I hated myself for it, but every time Evan praised me, a sense of pride filled me, and I could not get enough of it. It was such an intoxicating feeling, a high I never wanted to quit. I got so sick, really sick. My mom had to rush me to the hospital one night when I passed out in front of her. That was about two months ago. I started eating a little more and put on some healthy weight. Evan was disgusted with me, telling me I looked better before.
Steam starts filling the room, and I step into the too-hot shower. The scorching hot water splatters across my body, the burn blocking out the pain I already feel. I stay under the hot water until my skin turns red, and I can no longer tolerate it. I turn the temperature down to wash and condition my hair, wash my body, and quickly shave under my arms and legs. I deem myself good enough, I turn the water off and wrap a towel around myself.
I hear a small crack outside my bathroom window, making me jump. I lean over to look out the window but see nothing. I shake my head and turn to the mirror. I quickly blow-dried my hair before brushing and braiding it.
It’s Friday night, and I should be out having fun and being a teenager. Instead, I am already in bed, texting Evan for the millionth time, hoping he responds. I send him a picture of me in bed, letting him know I am staying home tonight. I hold my phone up, staring at the screen until I see that he has read it. He does not respond, so I put the phone on my nightstand and turn the TV on. A rerun of my favorite show is on, so I nestle into my comfy bed and watch it.
A few hours later, my phone dings.
I throw my phone on my bed and curl into a ball. Of course, the first time he texts me back, it is to say something hurtful—another ding. I reluctantly grab my phone.