Serena
A couple of weeks have gone by. The Kings are giving me the space I want, but I can still feel them around me all the time, in the halls at school, at home, and even when I go to get coffee every morning. They have become a weird protective presence in my life that I like.
Evan and I have been speaking more lately. Since the last text he sent me, things have reverted to normal, or as normal as it can be with him. I have been following his rules and making him happy. We talk every day after school. I don’t say much. Instead, I listen to him drone on about everything. The main thing is the wedding. I haven’t worn my engagement ring since he gave it to me. It feels wrong wearing it.
I tried one night asking him if we could have a pro-longed engagement and get married after college, but that ended in him threatening me and then hanging up on me. He called me back twenty minutes later to confess his love and how he never wanted to lose me. That is why we had to get married right away.
I started talking to Evie again. She is too good of a person to forgive me for ignoring her the way I did. She never asked me to explain why I did what I did. She just forgave me and moved on. She and I have been spending a lot of time together. I go over to her house most days after school. It is nice to finally have a friend who wouldn’t stab me in the back the first chance she got.
She has asked me about the Kings a few times. Every time she does, I change the subject.
I’ve talked to her about Evan and his rush to get married. I haven’t told her about anything else. I don’t need to ruin a friendship by telling her all the bad stuff. I keep telling myself Evan will be better when I return to Florida. That he is just stressed right now. That is why he is taking it out on me. Hopefully, the more I say it, the more I believe it.
I walk downstairs to the kitchen to grab breakfast before Evie picks me up from school. Since Mom has started work again, I don’t have a car to drive. I can hear Mom rummaging around in the kitchen, some music playing in the background. I walk in and gasp.
A huge “Happy Birthday” sign is across an entire wall.
“Happy birthday!” Mom says while embracing me. I hug her back and enjoy the moment.
We sit down at the table and eat breakfast together. Mom made me my favorite breakfast, Belgian waffles with maple syrup and bacon. The smell alone is making my mouth water. I take a huge bite, groaning in pleasure as the sweet taste coats my tongue. I have missed having sweet food.
Like every morning, Mom and I talk about her job and how school is going. She asks me if I have any plans with Evie tonight. I hadn’t even told Evie today was my birthday. I was hoping to ignore it this year.
Mom kisses me on the head before she walks out the door for work. I enjoy the quiet for a moment before my phone starts dinging repeatedly.
I opened my phone to see Cleo tagged me in something she posted. I open it up and almost drop my phone. Cleo tagged me in a photo of her holding her stomach. A baby bump is clear.
Evan and I are so excited. The baby is due in February. I think it’s a girl, and Evan thinks it’s a boy. Daddy and I love you and can not wait to meet you, my sweet baby.
February. That must mean she is at least four months pregnant. Evan cheated on me.
So much is making sense all of a sudden.
He cheated on me with Cleo and got her pregnant. Then he asked me to marry him. I said yes.
I scream. I don’t know what else to do. I toss my phone on the table and scream until my lungs give out. My breath is erratic, a storm brewing inside me. I can feel myself spiraling into a panic attack. How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me. I thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Instead, he decided to settle down with me so he wouldn’t have to marry her.
My hands are shaking, and I feel like I can’t breathe anymore. I have never felt this type of betrayal and heartbreak before. I did everything Evan ever asked of me. I became the girl he wanted instead of myself. I was there for him when Cleo cheated on him. The tears start freely flowing. My cheeks are wet, but with each tear, I can feel the pain leaving my body.
As much as I feel like the world is crumbling around me, I also feel hope. I had secretly hoped for something to drive us apart, and this is it. A bubble of laughter escapes me, hysteria setting in. I am laughing so hard my sides start to hurt. I am free.
I take my phone out and do the one thing I can think of right now. I open my messages to Evan and send him a text.
I put my phone on the table. Evan immediately texts me back. I don’t bother looking at it. My phone dings again. I look down and see a text from Evie saying she is outside. I do not want to go to school today. An idea pops into my head. I am going to make a change. He loved the perfect girl that I had become. It is time to try something new and find who I am.
I leave my bag and walk out to her car. I open the door and sit down. I tell Evie about what I just saw and my plan instead of school. She quickly agrees and texts Grace and Naomi to meet us. She backs out of my laneway, and we head to town.
Fallingbrook is a small, quaint little town. Something you would see out of a fairy tale. Kids playing in the streets. Elderly couples are walking hand in hand. Everyone seems so happy here. It brings a smile to my face.
I feel this sense of longing in me, almost like I was supposed to grow up like this. Don’t get me wrong, I loved living in Daytona Beach. But looking back, it never really felt like home. It may have been the only place I have ever lived, but something was off.
Evie parks her car, and we both get out. Grace and Naomi are already waiting for us in front of a cute little thrift store.
Rows and rows of clothing are all I can see. The girl each go their way to find some things to try on. I walk over to the more modest clothing. The stuff Evan would expect me to wear. I riffle through the racks, but I can”t decide what feels right. I go to the next rack with more modern clothes. I have seen girls around school wearing similar items, but they don”t feel like me.
I don’t feel like I know who or what I am anymore. For so long, I tried to be perfect or Evan. I changed how I dressed and acted. I hurt myself to make him happy. I have changed so much in the last six months with him. Hell, I changed when I met him at five years old. I was a loud, rambunctious child, always playing and getting into trouble. Then I met Evan, and a switch flipped in me. I started blending into the background and never stood out compared to Cleo. I was shy and never wanted to stand out. I need to break out of that mold that I put myself in. I need to find who I am and who I want to be.
I browse through the entire store, but nothing jumps out at me. Nothing feels like me. I look over at the girls. They all have their arms full of clothing, giggling about whatever. I smile at them, but my heart breaks a little. I have never had a friendship like that. My spirits start to dwindle the longer we are in the store. I continue walking around while they try on their new clothes. I can hear giggles and talking from the back of the store, but I can’t seem to walk back there.
“Can I help you find something?” I jump at the intrusion into my inner turmoil. I turn around to see a sweet older lady. She smiles at me.
“Oh, um, I’m not sure what I am looking for.” I stammer out. She nods her head and grabs my hand.
“I have the perfect thing for you. I have been holding on to it for a while, and I think I know who I was waiting for.” She walks me to the back of the store and opens a wardrobe I did not notice before. She pulls out a black vintage leather jacket. “It should be about the right size for you.” She hands it over to me and looks expectingly at me.
The leather is soft but still in great shape, with no rips or tears. I put it on and smile as I look in the mirror. I twirl from side to side, examining it.
It is perfect.
“I’ll take it.” I turn around and smile at the sales lady. “How much is it?”
“I’ve been holding on to that for almost 20 years. You would be doing me a favor just taking it.” She waves her hand like it is nothing.
I open my mouth to protest, but she gives me a look that tells me not to argue with her. I snap my mouth shut and nod. Turning back to the mirror, I take in my reflection. This feels so good to me.
The girls all come walking out of the changing rooms, talking with a bunch of clothes between them. They all stop when they see me. Instantly, I feel self-conscious until they all start telling me how great it looks on me. My smile grows exponentially.
We walk up to the cash so they can purchase their new clothes. I tried to pay for the jacket again, but the sales lady would not let me. I notice a donation jar by the cash for the local hospital. I smile and place a fifty-dollar bill in it. She may not let me pay, but I can help the hospital instead. The sales lady smiles when she notices the donation.
With bags filled with clothes and my new jacket, we leave the thrift store and meander down Main Street. I look across the street and see a few motorcycles parked outside a tattoo shop. A crazy idea pops into my head. I used to want to get tattoos when I was younger, or at least until Evan said only whores get tattoos. This feels right and like the ultimate fuck you to him. Proving to him that he has lost me.
A few more motorcycles drive down the road, all wearing King MC cuts. Three sets of eyes notice me. I can’t see who they are, but I can feel their gazes on me. It sends a shiver of dread coursing through my body. They drive past, and the sense of unease doesn’t leave me as I wander to the small tattoo parlor.
Inside, everything is dark. The black walls are decorated with black and white images. Most look like tattoo designs, but there are a few black-and-white portraits of women on motorcycles. The floors are black and white tiles that gleam even in the low lighting. A guy covered in tattoos sits at the front desk, on the phone, not saying anything. He looks up at me and says something quietly into the phone before he hangs up.
“Can I help you, sweet cheeks?” He drawls while his eyes graze up and down my body.
“I want to get a tattoo,” I say without trying to sound as creeped out as I feel.
He nods before taking me to the back of the shop and sits me down in a chair. I tell him what I want, and he draws out a sketch. We work together to make a few adjustments, and when I am finally happy, I lie down on my stomach and take off my shirt. I hear the buzzing of the machine before the first needle hits.
I sit and let the pain of the needle take over the pain in my heart. I let myself get deluded enough to think that Evan and I would last. I should have known long ago that something like this would happen. I never knew he would cheat, but I should have expected this from Cleo. I should have known she would do whatever she could to get him back. She found the perfect way to get him back and make him stay with her.
He would never leave her now that she is pregnant. If that is his baby, he will stay with her because of it. I wonder if he knew when he proposed to me. He probably proposed because of the baby. I need to stop thinking about him and her.
I lose myself to the external pain and push the internal one to the side. There is no point in dwelling on this because it won’t change what happened and what is happening.
It does not take long to finish the tattoo, or at least, it doesn’t feel like it. The artist cleans it off before I get up and look in the mirror. I gasp at the beautiful artwork on my shoulder blade. I smile and turn around to thank the guy. His glare is fully on my nearly exposed chest. I quickly put my top and jacket back on.
The girls are all waiting in the front with coffees when I come out. Evie hands me one and bounces on her feet, waiting to see. She pulls down the back of my jacket so they can all see it.
“Serena?” I look up, and Zeus is there. I shrug my jacket back on, hiding the tattoo. I know exactly what they will think if they see it.
I look up at Zeus. His face stays blank, but his eyes are curious as Odin and Midas march into the room. I internally curse that the three of them are here. The last thing I wanted was to run into them here.
“Are we sure it’s your birthday and not mine because God damn! You look fucking delicious in that jacket.” Odin says, sauntering over to me. How did he know it was my birthday? He grabs me around the waist and pulls me into him. I can feel his rigged muscles under his grey t-shirt. He places a sweet kiss against my cheek and whispers into my ear. “Happy birthday, Serena.”
“Why do you look like that?” Zeus asks, breaking the trance between Odin and me. I take a step back and look at Zeus.
“Trying something new. Do you like it?” I twirl for the three of them, keeping my jacket on.
“I do!” Odin exclaims, raising his hand above his head. I chuckle at him, and he winks back.
“I think you look like a smoke show.” Midas purrs. I hate to admit his voice does something to me. I will never tell him that, though.
“I don’t think I asked you,” I smirk back. Midas looks like he is ready to blow like a volcano. I probably shouldn’t push his buttons, but sometimes it is just too much fun not to. I know I will pay for it one day, but until then, I will keep being a brat.
“You look like a fucking club bunny,” Zeus says to me in a deadly quiet voice. “Like every slut that tries to get us to fuck them.”
My jaw drops and my heart breaks at his words. I have no idea what a club bunny is but from his tone it’s not a good thing. Odin openly glares at Zeus, pissed and confused why he said what he did. Midas looks at him quizzically before looking back at me. I can see the wheels in his head turning, but I have no idea what he is thinking.
“If I want to look like a fucking club bunny or a biker slut I will. Not that it is any of your business, Zeus. I can do whatever I want without needing your permission. I swear all men are the same. Let’s go.” I turn and look at my friends. I grab my bag, and we walk out. I hear Zeus calling my name, but I don’t even turn around. I am not doing this with him.