21. Truths & Lies
-Jade-
“STOP, SPADE! STOP!” I scream as Spade pulls the E-brake, drifting into the turn, coming so close to the cliff’s edge, it feels like we’re going over. I cover my face thinking this is the end, that the man I truly deeply love, is going to kill us both.
I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry for all I have done.
I love you, Spade. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m so sorry.
I fucking love you, Dario. Please forgive me.
Jameson… I failed you. I’m sorry. I love you.
I close my eyes. Bracing for impact.
He comes to a complete stop; my face nearly hitting the windshield, and all you hear is our heavy breathing. I glance out my window, gasping at the sight. If I open my door, I’ll fall out of the car and down the cliff’s edge. My heart is racing uncontrollably. I sob, tears falling from my face. I can’t fucking breathe. I rip my shirt off, it’s so fucking tight. I can’t get enough air. Looking over at Spade, his head rests against his hands on the steering wheel. I unbutton my jeans, taking them off along with my docs. I can’t right now. I can’t breathe; everything is just so fucking tight. I need air; I feel like I’m suffocating. Spade’s body is still; I see his chest moving up and down, and I can hear his heavy breathing, but he hasn’t moved from the spot. I turn the air on, turning the AC up. My body feels like it’s on fire. Fuck.
Warm fingers touch my cheek, I look over to him, and he cups my face. The tears keep flowing; I can’t make them stop.
“You really hate me that much that you were going to send us over the cliff?” I whisper through my sobs, casting my eyes down. I can’t look at him, it hurts too much. He hates me and wants nothing to do with me. My heart hurts so fucking bad; hearing his harsh words hurts deep in my core. I can’t look at his gorgeous face. He’s such a beautiful human, and I ruined him. This is what I deserve. I know. His tattooed pointer finger lifts my chin, and I still don’t look at him.
“Look at me, Babygirl, please let me see those gorgeous eyes,” he breathes. I’m weak for this version of Spade. I look up into his steel gray eyes, there’s so much sadness, hurt, and something else I can’t pinpoint.
“Come here, please,” he whispers, reaching down and moving his seat back. But I can’t move, he doesn’t want me anymore. I’ve ruined everything. What the fuck did I do? Why? Fucking why? He lifts me from my spot and places me in his lap. I’m in nothing but my bra and booty shorts. He wraps his tattooed arms around me, holding me tightly. I lay my head against his shoulder, placing my hands underneath his shirt, feeling the warmth of his chiseled stomach. He pulls me tighter like he never wants to let me go.
I nuzzle into his neck and sob. I don’t know how much more I can apologize. It’s not good enough. They all deserve so much better. Maybe the girl that was all over Dario is who he should be with. Jameson doesn’t need anyone to be happy. He creates his own world alone, but Spade didn’t deserve what I did. He deserves a strong woman who will never choose anything or anyone over him. I’m too broken. D’mitri was right. He ruined me—ruined me for everyone after him—and it fucking hurts. Spade lifts my chin and kisses my lips softly, wiping the tears from my eyes. He pulls away, holding my face. When he looks deep into my eyes, my heart flutters. I place my hand on his and feel it beating erratically. I don’t want this feeling to go away. I blink, and more tears fall.
“I miss my girl, Jade. I miss her so much; this version of you,” he takes a deep breath, kissing my lips again, “This person you are now, I can’t be with. All the drugs, all the hurt–I can’t watch you destroy yourself. I need you to come back to me.” He says, kissing my jaw, my neck, and sucking the tender spot below my ear. I shift in his lap to straddle him. I pull his hair back, holding his head in my hands. I search his eyes, but there’s nothing but sadness, loss, and trauma.
“I love you, Reid. I don’t know what I’m doing; this is just too much for me. I’m truly all alone in this world, and self-destruction is all I know,” I whisper, looking down. He grabs my back and shoves his face into my chest, smothering himself in my tits. He pulls me tighter.
“I just want to stay in this moment with you. I know once we leave here, it’s over. Just give me this last moment with you, Babygirl.” I nod. There are no more words that need to be said. We said everything we could, all the ugly, all the lies and truths, and there’s nothing left, other than to feel and cherish the moment we have. He unclasps my bra, running the straps down my shoulders slowly until it falls from my chest, baring my hard nipples to him. He cups my breasts, squeezing them, lifting one to his mouth. He kisses them both softly, pushing them together and shoving his face in between. He sucks the hardened peak into his mouth, softly rolling his tongue around it before biting, making me moan. He continues to give my tits the attention they deserve.
I run my hand through his wavy, dark hair, pulling at it every time he bites my chest. I rock slowly in his lap, feeling his hardening dick beneath me. I lift his shirt from his body, tossing it in the back seat. I run my fingers down his neck to his chest, tracing the outline of the angel on his left pec; Amelia’s tattoo. His hands slide down my stomach to my wet pussy, then he pushes my panties to the side and runs his finger down my slit, slowly sliding his fingers inside me. I moan and arch my back. I missed his touch.
“Always so wet and needy for me, Babygirl,” he rasps.
“Mmm, yes, Babyboy, I’ve missed your touch,” I groan.
“You’re so fucking tight Jade. I just want to feel you shatter on my cock.” He pushes up against my ass, showing me how hard he is.
“I thought you didn’t want me anymore?” I murmur.
“Shut up, take my dick out,” he commands. I unbutton his jeans and pull down his zipper, taking his cock out. I squeeze it then slowly run my hand up and down, watching his eyes roll in his head.
“Fuck, Babygirl, I missed your touch too.” He moans. I squeeze a little tighter, running my thumb over his piercing, gathering his pre-cum, and sucking it off my finger. His eyes widen and he fuses his mouth to mine, biting my bottom lip for entry. His tongue rolls over mine as he moans, tasting himself. I shiver and rock my hips, fucking his fingers slowly, squeezing my walls around them. Fuck, this is so hot. He doesn’t stop kissing me as he removes his fingers only to replace them with his cock. He lifts me, and I slowly sink onto him. We both shudder at the feeling. I moan into his mouth, the feeling of his cock deep inside me. He grasps my hips squeezing tightly, slowing me down. He tries to pull away from my lips, but I don’t let him. I grab his head and kiss him with all I have, continuing to rock slowly on his length, and feeling his body shiver at my touch. My hand rubs on the back of his neck and trail my fingers down his back, feeling the scars, and the raised bumps. This is what I did to him. Tears fall from my eyes and I pull away from the kiss.
“I’m so sorry, Reid. I love you so much, I can’t live in this world without you; please don’t make me.” I cry, picking up my pace. He moans but doesn’t say a word.
“Please forgive me. I’ll never choose anyone over you or hurt you ever again. I fucking love you so much. Please, stay with me?” I plead, rolling my hips, fucking him with all I have. He grabs my ass, squeezing tightly.
“Say it, Spade, tell me you love me. Fucking say it,” I growl, tightening around him.
“Fuck, Babygirl, I’m going to cum so fucking hard.” He rasps.
“Then give it to me, give it all to me. It’s mine and only mine,” I scream as my orgasm hits me like a freight train. I sob as he empties himself into me with a slow groan. He looks up at me and places a soft kiss on my lips.
“We should get back.” I nod, climbing off of him. I put my clothes back on, and he does the same.
The ride back is extremely quiet, and it’s almost unsettling. He parks in front of my car. I go to climb out, but before I shut the door, he calls out to me.
“Hey Jade! You want to know who was tighter than you?” He starts to chuckle.
What the fuck?
“Your dead mother.” With that, he peels away, almost catching my hand in the door.
My jaw drops to the ground and before I can even process the words he just fucking laid on me, Kayla approaches.
“Jade, you good?” I look at her with narrowed eyes and punch her dead in her fucking lying face. The crunch of her nose fuels me. I get ready to swing again, but strong arms grab me and pull me back.
“Leave it alone, Little Creature. Her time will come,” The Carver whispers, carrying me to my car and tossing me inside.
“Go the fuck home now. I can smell the blood pooling between your thighs.” He states. I look down between my legs, and sure enough, there’s blood on the seam of my jeans. God damn it.
“Fuck you! Fuck all of you.” I growl, slamming the door in his face. He laughs, but I don’t fucking care. I put the keys into the ignition and get the fuck out of there.
They don’t like the person I’m becoming but fuck them. The Blood Queen will fucking reign Bedlam on them all. One fucking asshole at a time.