Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
TATUM
B y the time I get back to my place, the restaurants and bars by the lake are clearing out and my feet are frozen in my cheap pleather boots, but the walk worked its magic on my brain.
I’ve thought everything through and made my decision.
I hate to admit defeat, but there are times when you have to take a step back, survey the wreckage you managed to leave on the field in just a little under a week, and call the game for the other team.
When I get up to the apartment, I change into my pancake pajamas, cry a little because they remind me of Sarah Beth and how much I love her already, then mop up my face and sit down to make a list of all the things I’ll need to get done to get ready to move back home.
First up, I’ll have to make sure Mom hasn’t given my room away to another O’Leary in need. In a family the size of ours, that’s always a risk, but in a pinch, I guess I could ask Molly about subletting her basement room. It’s damp and only has one tiny window, but my sister would give it to me for cheap. She might even let me stay for free if I agree to watch the baby a couple nights a week so she and Wyatt, her husband, can sleep through the night.
Then, I’ll have to see if my old job wants me back. Candace, my supervisor, never thought I was good enough to give a promotion or a raise, but she knew she could count on me to be there on time with a great attitude. And they’re always looking for subs and part-time workers. I’m betting she’ll hire me again, at least part-time, until another full-time space opens up.
Or maybe I can find a nanny position in Kentucky. Most people in Fair Shot are too poor to afford full-time childcare like that, but we’re not that far from Lexington. I could commute. And if I look really hard, I bet I can find a little girl or boy who needs me as much as Sarah Beth and a place that feels like home.
Tears fall on my list, smearing the numbers on the left side. I toss the paper on the coffee table and give in to the surge of emotion.
No other place is ever going to feel like Drew and Sarah Beth’s house. Because it isn’t the house that’s special. It’s Drew and Sarah Beth and how I felt when I was with them.
Like I belonged. Like I mattered.
Like they’ve been waiting for me as much as I’ve been waiting for them, even though I didn’t know it until they swept into my life and changed everything.
“I’d miss you even if we’d never met,” I blubber, crying harder.
And not just Drew. It’s Sarah Beth, too. It’s probably crazy, but from the second she reached for my hand, a part of me was hers. For life. I want to be someone she can count on in a world that’s already let that sweet little girl down.
I’m sobbing so hard I apparently don’t hear the knock on the door.
I’m completely thrown when Wren sticks her head in and calls, “Get away from her, I have a gun!”
I bleat out a cry of surprise and fall off the couch.
By the time I scramble to my feet, Wren is beside me, looking nearly as startled as I feel.
“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I thought you were being attacked or something. I heard you crying, and I knocked and called your name a dozen times, but you didn’t answer so I tried the door. And it was open, so I came in.” She pokes my arm before rubbing it up and down in a way that’s comforting, albeit a little vigorous. “Lock your door, woman! Always. Even here. Bad Dog has a low crime rate, but you never know when a crazed killer might swing through town looking for dirty tacos and end up attacking you in the middle of the night.”
I sniff and swipe at my eyes with the sleeve of my pajamas. “You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you knocking. I’m just upset.”
Wren’s brow furrows. “Why? Last I saw, you and Drew were giving each other puppy dog eyes and the whole world was sparkling. I honestly thought you’d be at his place, and I’d have to pick your lock to get my overnight bag.” She lifts a hand. “Not that I would normally pick a lock or invade your privacy, it’s just a bit of an emergency.”
I thunk my forehead with my palm. “Your bag! I forgot it was still here when you said you were going home. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Wren says. “It’s Barrett’s for acting like a crazy person and making me forget which way was up. I wouldn’t have worried about it, but my birth control pills are in there. I was getting ready for bed and realized they were still here, and I really didn’t want to risk skipping one.”
Despite my current state of despair, my ears perk up at that little nugget of information. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”
“No reason,” Wren says, with a laugh so fake it could give my pleather boots a run for their money. “Just…safety first and all. Especially when it comes to having a baby.”
“I didn’t realize you had a steady date.”
Wren clears her throat. “I don’t. But maybe I’m thinking about having a one-night stand. Just to prove that people don’t know me as well as they think they do.”
I narrow my eyes on her guilty expression. “People like Barrett? The guy you totally had a one-night stand with tonight?”
Wren curses and covers her face with her hands.
I smile for the first time since I walked away from Drew. “Oh, girl, we need to talk.” I move toward the kitchen. “I’ll make the tea while you spill it.”
“I can’t,” she says. “No offense, but I won’t kiss and tell. Not even when it comes to the most infuriating man on the planet.” She bites her lip as worry creases her forehead. “This is going to ruin everything, isn’t it? Work will be weird, and I’ll have to quit and find a new job and a new boss who doesn’t know what sounds I make when I’m feeling really happy.”
“So, he made you feel really happy, huh?” I ask, watching her from the corner of my eyes as I put the kettle on.
“Really happy,” she says with a sigh. “Really, really happy. Three times in one session, which has never happened to me before.”
“Sounds like that might be worth a repeat performance.”
Wren shakes her head with a shudder. “Ugh, no. I hate him. I thought I loved him, but now I’m pretty sure I hate him. He’s so bossy and arrogant and he thinks he knows me, but he doesn’t. It’s like he hasn’t been paying attention. At all! I’ve worked for him for six years, Tatum. Six years , and he didn’t know that I go deer hunting every season and am really good with a gun.”
I pause as I’m reaching for mugs and shoot her a worried look. “You didn’t shoot him, did you?”
She huffs. “No, of course not. I just took out my shotgun and fired a perfect hole through the street sign to prove that I could shoot Kyle if I wanted to. But I don’t. I think I know why he’s lost it, by the way.”
“Barrett?” I ask.
“No, Kyle,” she says. “My cell was dead, but when I charged it, a message came through from Tim at animal control. Apparently, there’s an old grain shed down the road from my house with a bunch of rotting corn in it. One of Farmer Chastain’s pigs got into it and almost died. But before he did, he got really aggressive and mean. They cleared the entire shed out, so hopefully Kyle will calm down without regular doses of toxic mold in his system.”
My shoulders sag. “Oh my God, that’s great news! Fingers crossed.” I peel my lips from my teeth with a hiss. “Maybe that’s why my bite got infected so fast?”
“Maybe,” Wren says. “But you should be fine. The antibiotics should clear everything up. You’re feeling okay now, right?”
“I feel great,” I say, my eyes tearing up almost immediately. “Except that I’m in love with Drew and Sarah Beth and we can never be together, and I have to move home to live in my sister’s dank and depressing basement.”
Wren’s brows shoot up. “What!”
I spill out the entire story—meeting Drew’s mom and realizing I’ve screwed everything up beyond repair—and finish up just as the water boils. I fill the mugs and plunk a honey cinnamon stick tea bag in each, sniffing as I add, “So, I have to go home. It’s where I belong. If I can screw up a fresh start in a week, I’m clearly not fit for a normal, drama free existence.”
“That’s crazy, Tatum,” she says sternly. “You’re fitting in great! I adore you and I don’t adore just anyone. I’m picky about new friends.”
I fight another wave of tears. “Thanks. I adore you, too. And I think you and Barrett are going to find a way to be together. I have a feeling about you two. You’re going to have a happy ending. And when you do, I’ll be cheering so loud you’ll hear me all the way from Kentucky.”
Her lips turn down. “Tatum, please, I think?—”
She’s cut off by someone shouting my name from the street outside.
No, not just shouting…
That voice is being amplified. It sounds like it’s coming over a loudspeaker or something.
“Tatum O’Leary,” the voice calls again, more familiar this time around.
Wren and I lock eyes and she says what I’m thinking, “Is that Fred? From the bar?”
“I think so,” I say, just as Fred calls out, “Paging Tatum O’Leary! Please come to your balcony at your earliest convenience, pumpkin. We don’t care if you’re in your pajamas. We’re all friends here.”
Abandoning our tea, Wren and I circle around the couch and the kitchen table, shoving aside the curtains shielding the apartment from the street below. I drag open the sliding glass door and step out onto my chilly balcony to see…a parade.
No, not a parade. But it’s damned close. On the street below are five motorcycles with rainbow flags flying from the back and a giant pick-up truck with what looks like a small stage in the bed. Standing on the stage is Fred, speaking into a megaphone, and a man in a snazzy blue suit.
“Drew?” I whisper too softly for anyone but Wren to hear me. I just can’t believe this is real. It becomes even more dreamlike, when Fred says, “She’s here, hit it, boys!” and music begins to play from a speaker by Drew’s feet.
“This is for you Tatum,” he says into his microphone, making my heart leap into my throat.
The song starts with a familiar synthesizer intro and then Drew launches into the first verse of “I Want to Know What Love Is,” by Foreigner.
The first thing I notice is that his voice is terrible—sweet and sincere, but truly awful. My soul mate is tone deaf, but that’s okay. So am I. The second thing I notice is that Fred and the rest of the bikers are dancing along, swirling their rainbow flags in a wild improvisational routine that is both hysterical and incredibly moving.
The third thing I notice is that tears are streaming down my face because these people all cared enough to come serenade me at midnight.
Yes, I managed to screw a lot of things up my first week in Bad Dog, but I also managed to find my people in a way I never have before.
“Here,” Wren says, pressing a tissue into my hands. “You’re going to want to mop up your face before you go to him. You are going to him, right? Because this may be the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen.”
I nod, loosely, sucking in a shaky breath as I swipe at my tears. “Yes. Yes, I am. I want to know what love is, too. And I want him to show me.”
She grins and pats my back as more tears pour down my face. “I know you do, love bug. So, get going. I’ll grab my bag and head out, so you and Drew have the apartment to yourself.”
“Thank you,” I say, grabbing her for a quick, tight hug. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome,” she says, laughing as I turn to shout, “I’m coming down in my pajamas!” to the street.
Seconds later, I’m shoving my feet into my tennis shoes and dashing down the stairs, hurrying through the hallway beside the now closed restaurant and emerging onto the street just as Drew is hitting the chorus for the second time.
He instantly hands the microphone to Fred, who whispers, “Thank God,” before taking up where Drew left off, but in a gorgeous baritone that makes the moment even more magical.
Drew hops down from the truck bed and runs to meet me, scooping me up in his arms and hugging me tight. “Your arms are my favorite place in the world,” I murmur in the crook of his neck, still teary.
“Good, because I’m never going to let you go,” he says, squeezing me harder. “I don’t care if it’s crazy, I’ve been in love with you since the moment you told me how attached you were to your clitoris. Probably before.”
“I’ve been in love with you since you taught me how to play trout pinball,” I say, kissing his cheek. “I didn’t believe in love at first sight before, but now I do. And I don’t care who thinks we’re weird or wrong or scandalous. I just want to be with you and Sarah Beth and be happy.”
He pulls back, beaming down at me, tears in his eyes. “I’m so happy to hear that. You have no idea. Move in with me?”
I blink. “The garage apartment?”
“No, my house. My room, my bed. I don’t care what anyone else thinks, either. I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for you, and I don’t want to waste another minute. I swear,” he says, his throat working as he swallows. “I feel like I missed you before we even met.”
I feel my eyes go dinner plate wide and grab his hand, squeezing tight. “I have to show you something. Right now. Upstairs.”
“Please show me something upstairs,” he says. “And then come home with me. For keeps.”
“Goodbye Fred,” I call out as we run for the building. “I love you and will see you next Sunday!”
“Love you too, darlin’” he calls back before launching into the big finish of the song, as his biker friends twirl their flags, and a gentle snow begins to fall.
It’s magical.
Nearly as magical as the moment I drag Drew to the refrigerator and show him the note I scribbled down our first night together.
Wonder in his eyes, he gathers me into his arms. “I guess that settles it, then. Some things are just meant to be.”
“Like you and me,” I say, tears in my eyes again.
“Like you and me,” he agrees, and then he kisses me and I’m home.
For keeps.
“Pack your things,” Drew whispers against my lips.
I pull back with a smile. “How about we sleep here tonight and gather my things in the morning. I can think of something I’d rather do right now than load my clothes back into my suitcase.”
He arches a naughty brow. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
Threading my fingers into his thick, delicious hair, I cock my head to one side. “Start a book club?”
He grins. “A book club?”
“Yes, a book club. Right now. No better time to start a book club than midnight on a Friday night.”
“And what book would you suggest we start with, Miss O’Leary?” he asks, backing me toward the bedroom.
“Crime and Punishment? I’ve always meant to read it. It’s a classic. Deals with important themes like alienation and human suffering.”
“Yeah, it’s a page turner, all right,” Drew says as he kisses his way down my throat.
“Oh darn, you’ve already read it?” I tip my head back, luxuriating in every caress of his lips. Damn, this man can kiss. His lips are a thing of skillful, unparalleled beauty, and they’re mine, all mine.
Just thinking about it is enough to make my heart somersault.
“Yep,” he says. “Had to do a paper on it in my freshman English class. We could read The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka instead. Similar themes with bonus ‘man turning into giant cockroach’ action.” He stops kissing me long enough to push open the door to the bedroom. He glances in, with a judgmental grunt. “A full bed. I was hoping for at least a queen. I’m going to need space for all the things I want to do to you.”
“All the reading you want to do, you mean,” I correct, not done with this game quite yet. “And I’ve decided what book we should choose. It came to me in a moment of brilliance.”
He casts an affectionate look my way as we sway into the bedroom, and he shuts the door behind us. “You have a lot of those. Moments of brilliance.”
“Except when I walked away from you tonight,” I say, serious again for a moment. “That was a moment of dumbness.”
“More like a moment of fear.” He smooths my hair from my forehead. “And we all have them. So, what’s this book we’re going to read? I’m really hoping I’ve already read it so I can skip straight to getting you naked while you start chapter one.”
“Jane Eyre,” I whisper, as the backs of my knees touch the mattress. “You know why?”
“Because he falls in love with the nanny, of course,” he says, warmly.
“That’s exactly right,” I say with a sigh. “Could you be more perfect?”
“I don’t know,” he says, mischief in his eyes again as he shucks his suit coat and tosses it to the ground. “Let’s find out, shall we?”
He tackles me onto the bed, making me giggle. But pretty soon, giggling is the furthest thing from my mind.
“Yes, take it off,” I say as he unbuttons my pajama top. “All of it. I need to be naked with you.”
“And I need to be inside of you.” He pauses just as he’s about to kiss the top of my breast, lifting his gaze to mine with a stricken look. “Condoms. I don’t have any.”
“I don’t care,” I say, shrugging out of my top and pulling the cami over my head. “I’m on the pill and the condom broke last time anyway.” I loop my arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss so I can murmur against his lips, “And I want that savage cock of yours in me bare.”
He curses softly. “Savage, huh? I hope that’s a good thing.”
“It’s the best thing,” I say, moaning as he slips his hand down the front of my pajama pants and panties, sliding a finger inside me.
“You’re already so wet,” he says, adding another finger with an approving sound low in his throat.
“I’m wet pretty much any time you’re close enough to touch,” I confess. “When you came downstairs while I was making pancakes the other day, just feeling you standing behind me was enough to ruin my panties.”
“Fuck, woman,” he says, rubbing his thumb around my clit, making me squirm. I don’t need a ring to add sensation with Drew. Drew’s touch is enough to light me up like a neon cowboy. “Keep talking like that and I’m not going to last any longer than I did the first time.”
“I don’t care how long you last,” I say honestly. “Because I know I’ll get to be with you again and again and again.”
He exhales a shaky breath. “That sounds so good. You have no idea. Every night this week, I just wanted you to stay. Watching you walk out my door was physically painful. ”
I lift my hips, easing his way as he rips the rest of my clothes off and starts to work on the buttons on his dress shirt. “Same for me. It just felt so wrong.” I bite my lip, torn between excitement over the impulsive thing we’re going to do and worry about how it might affect Sarah Beth. “You don’t think me moving in will upset Sarah Beth, do you? Or confuse her?”
“Hell, no.” He eases off the bed, popping the button at the top of his pants. “She’ll be over the moon with excitement. She’s crazy about you.”
“She’s crazy about me as a nanny,” I say, distracted by how hot it is to watch him strip off his pants, revealing the long, thick ridge of his erection straining the fabric of his boxer briefs. “She might not like me as a live-in girlfriend. She might get freaked out. Or jealous.”
“Never. That’s not Sarah Beth. But if she does have problems, we’ll solve them. Because we’re loving, caring adults who work well together in a crisis.” He lips crook up on one side as he teases the top of his boxers low enough to allow his cock piercing to peek out of the top. “We proved that the night we met.”
My breath rushes out. “Dear God, get in bed. Now. In bed and inside me. I need Elvis rubbing me on the inside.”
“Elvis?” he asks as he crawls on top of me, where I would very much like him to stay for a long, long time.
“I’m naming your cock piercing Elvis,” I say, looping my legs around his hips and arching my aching center upward until my clit rubs against the hot length of him. “I haven’t settled on a name for your cock yet. I feel like I need to get to know him better first.”
“Well, let me help you with that,” he says, reaching between us to fit his erection to where I’ve been missing him so desperately.
I groan as he pushes slowly, languidly into me, holding my gaze as he fills me. “My pussy would have missed your cock if we’d never met, too.”
“I can’t believe we both felt that way,” he says, wonder in his expression as he begins to move, every stroke of his body into mine confirming that he’s mine and I’m his and we should never be apart again. “And that you wrote it down.”
“There is magic in the world,” I say, cupping his face in my hands as I lift into his thrusts. “I promise. And I’m going to make sure it never leaves you again, baby.”
His eyes begin to shine once more as he nods, “Right back at you, sweetheart. But don’t even think about running off with the fairies. I’m keeping you right here, in Bad Dog, Minnesota. Home of the world’s largest Swedish meatball sub.”
“Wow,” I say. “World’s largest, huh?”
“We grow ‘em big here in Minnesota,” he says, sinking even deeper, until I’m so full of him I can barely breathe.
“That you do. I guess I’ll have to stay, then. Just to try the meatballs.”
“I’ve got your meatballs right here, baby,” he says, making me laugh as he rolls me on top of him and grips my hips tight in his big hands. “I want to watch you ride me. Show me how you like it when you’re on top.”
“Yes, sir,” I say, bracing my hands on his chest and doing just that, while he rolls my nipples in his fingers, and the room fills with our moans and soft murmurs of appreciation.
I come just minutes later, calling his name, and then he rolls me over and shows me how savage he can be. He fucks me hard and fast and I love every minute of it, because it’s Drew. I love everything he does to me, especially when he comes with a cry, swearing, “No one else. I never want to be with anyone else.”
Later, as we’re catching our breath side by side on the narrow bed, I roll over and press a kiss to his chest. “Good. Because I don’t intend to share Elvis or Chad with another woman.”
His lips twitch, but his eyes stay closed as he says, “You’re not calling my dick Chad.”
“But I like the name Chad,” I tease. “It rhymes with bad, which your dick is sometimes. In a good way, but bad all the same. Bad, bad Chad with Elvis on top.”
He slaps the side of my ass, making me yip. “Hey, what was that for?”
“No Chad. You get spanked every time that name passes your lips.”
I giggle. “But Chad is a—” I break off with another outraged sound as he spanks me again, harder this time. “Looks like your hands are bad, too. I’ll have to name them Biff and Cliff and put them in time-out so they can think about what they’ve done.”
“They’d rather think about what they’re about to do,” he says, rolling on top of me and pinning my arms to the mattress over my head. “To you and Clarissa.”
I beam up at him. “You named my clit?”
He laughs. “Not really. I’m just playing along with your crazy games.”
“Because you love me?” I ask, needing to hear it again.
“Because I love you,” he says, his voice gentle and heartbreakingly sweet. “Desperately and completely.”
He proves it by making me come twice more, until I’m so tired even the announcement that he’ll be going over to his mom’s tomorrow morning while I’m packing to explain that accepting me into the family is mandatory can stress me out too much.
Yes, his mom and I got off to a bad start, but I’ll show her I’m one of the good ones, and that I love her son as desperately and whole-heartedly as he loves me. In time, she’ll see that we were right to jump in with both feet. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.
The thought wakes me up enough to mumble against Drew’s chest, “I don’t have any doubts. I always have doubts about boys. But you? None.”
He kisses the top of my head. “And I don’t intend to give you any reason to find one. I’m also adding insurance to your employee package. I can’t have you walking around without insurance. You’re precious cargo.”
I snuggle closer with a smile. “Thanks. You make me feel that way. Very precious indeed.”
We drift off to sleep as the snow continues to fall softly outside and all is right with the world. The very rightest it’s ever been.