14. Christopher
My phone vibrated from beside my plate, and I turn it over to see that it’s Koda. I look around the table at the guys since we are having a team dinner before our game tomorrow in Detroit. I look over to my right at Cole to see if he’s paying attention to me, but he’s locked into a conversation with Nick. My eyes go back down to read the text, and I shake my head, trying not to laugh too loud and get eyes looking at me.
Koda: Sandra Bullock was also great in Miss Congeniality.
I haven’t texted or called her since I saw her last Sunday. Every morning, I want to text her to see how the girls are doing, but I stop myself each time. If she needs you, she will text you, I repeat the same thing every morning. Then every night, when I want to call her after I know the kids have gone to bed. But now she’s texted me, so I have to answer her.
Me: You have no idea what you’re talking about.
I put the phone down and try to pay attention to the conversation going on beside me, but all I can think about is Koda. Seeing her on Sunday with my family and having the girls with me felt so natural. It also fucked with my head because I knew it shouldn’t feel natural. Nothing about this situation is natural. The phone buzzes next to me, and I pick it up again. This time, my heart picks up speed.
Koda: She went undercover to save the Miss America pageant.
Me: She drove a bus, a big-ass city bus to save people.
I’m about to put the phone down, but I see the bubbles with the three dots come up, and I know she’s texting me back. I stare at the screen for a couple of seconds before her reply comes through.
Koda: She had to learn how to walk in heels and juggle.
Me: Did you miss my text about the huge-ass bus she had to learn how to drive? And then she hit the carriage with the cans. Speed will forever be her number-one movie.
Koda: Okay, fine, what about The Lake House?
I roll my eyes before I answer her.
Me: Even she wants to pretend that movie never happened. That was fucking horrible, I think more horrible than any other movie out there. It was not a good comeback for either her or Keanu.
“Who are you texting?” Cole asks from beside me as he leans in to grab the bottle of beer he is having with his burger.
“Is it that chick you brought to the season opener?” Andreas asks from in front of me.
“Kelly.” Cole snaps his fingers, coming up with the name.
“It’s Keely,” I correct him, but I also don’t tell him if it’s her or not.
“Keely,” Cole says, “that’s what I meant.” He takes a bite of his burger, and I put the phone down to eat my own. “So it’s going good?”
“It’s okay,” I lie through my fucking teeth. “She’s a cool girl.”
He just nods as he chews, and I take a bite of my burger, hoping the conversation stops right there. Nick is the one who changes the conversation and instead talks about the game tomorrow. I don’t pick up my phone again until we leave the restaurant and walk back to the hotel.
Every single minute that goes by, I’m anxious to get to my room to take out my phone. I take out the phone the second the door closes behind me. I see I missed three messages from Koda, and the last one was sent twenty minutes ago.
Koda: Yeah, The Lake House was not their finest moment.
Koda: Two Weeks Notice, now that was a great one. Hugh Grant was good in that one. I mean, not as good as Love Actually or even Notting Hill, but still decent.
Koda: Okay, The Proposal. She raps in that and everything. Plus Ryan Reynolds makes everything better.
I can’t help but laugh at the way she’s going all in with Sandra Bullock.
Me: Is she your favorite actress?
I don’t know if she’s still up or not, and when I look over at the side table clock, I see that it’s only eight thirty. I kick off my shoes, heading toward the king-sized bed in the middle of the room. Falling on top of the white covers, I sink straight down to the mattress with the flimsy pillows. I grab the two beside me and tuck them under my head.
Koda: No, I don’t think so anyway. I don’t know if I have a favorite actress. Why? Do you?
Me: I mean Margot Robbie is not bad on the eyes. Gal Gadot is another one. Oh, Scarlett Johansson. Charlize Theron is another one.
I put the phone on my stomach before grabbing the remote to the television from the side table and turning it on, switching channels, trying not to think about the fact I’m texting Koda and it has nothing to do with the girls.
The phone vibrates.
Koda: So you choose the movies according to if there is a hot girl? Interesting.
Me: I mean, not necessarily. But if my sisters are going to turn on a movie, it’s good to know I have something to keep me invested.
Koda: Last movie you watched.
Me: Barbie.
Koda: What? You went to the movies to watch Barbie?
Me: I did. I took Penelope and forced Maddox to come with me. I promised her I would take her last Christmas when she told me about it. I obviously didn’t really think how bad it could be. Maddox had no idea what we were doing. He spent the morning on the ice with me, and then I sprang it on him. He hated every single second of it. He didn’t talk to me for a whole month. I think he even blocked me.
Koda: Bahaha, he did not.
Me: He did. Every time I texted him, it came up green. Only when I saw him a month later at the family vacation did I grab his phone. Little shit blocked me. The Funcle.
Koda: Do you even know what a funcle is?
Me: You bet your ass I do. I had to google it to make sure, but it’s like a dad, just hotter and cooler.
Koda: Does it really? I thought it was a gay uncle.
I gasp.
Me: Are you fucking with me right now? That’s a guncle.
Koda: I am not. I honestly thought it meant gay uncle. I think I heard Andy Cohen use it, so I assumed.
Me: I’m not gay.
Koda: Really? This is shocking information.
Me: Koda.
Koda: Christopher, there is nothing wrong with being gay.
Me: I know that. Why would there be? I’m just saying I’m not gay.
Koda: So you really aren’t gay?
Me: Koda, you’ve met my dates.
Koda: Maybe they were your crutch.
Me: How the hell did we go from Sandra Bullock to me being gay?
Koda: Well, you are good-looking, hot, and you dress like you’re a GQ model, so it could have gone either way.
Me: I’m happy to announce that I’m one hundred percent heterosexual. I like women. I love women, actually.
Koda: You are trying really hard to convince me that you aren’t gay. Is there a reason for that?
I don’t bother texting her. Instead, I call her, and she answers right away, and I hear the laughter from her side. “You are just fucking with me.”
“Who, me?” She feigns innocence, but I can hear the teasing behind it, and I fucking love it. “I would never do that to you.”
“Yeah, right.” Those are the only two words I could come up with. Her laughter is shooting straight to me. “Are you done?”
“Just about.” Her laughter fades. “That was fun.”
“Was it?” I ask, thinking if I can give her this escape, then I would do it over and over again.
“It was.” Her voice goes soft. “How was your day?”
“I’m in Detroit,” I tell her, “got here this afternoon. What about you? How was your day?”
“Amazing.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “I had an amazing therapy session, and I got a job.”
“What?” I ask, shocked. “No way. Where?”
“Zara’s Closet.” The second she mentions my aunt’s business, all I can do is let my mouth hang open. “I was talking to Zoe on Sunday about maybe getting something to pass the time. There is only so much I have left to do around the house. The kids are both at school, and I have nothing left to keep me busy, so…”
“How is this going to work?”
“It’s all online based, really. Unless I have to go meet a client, but from what Zara said, most of that is done via Zoom these days.” Her voice is so free and excited, I wish I was in front of her.
“That’s amazing. We have to celebrate when I get back.” I ignore the way my head laughs at me. I’m trying to get in any way I can, apparently even throwing myself at her.
“We don’t have to do that.” She chuckles. “It can be a dual celebration.”
“Of what?”
“My new job,” she says, and then I know it’s taking everything in her not to burst out laughing when she says the next thing, “and the fact you aren’t a gay uncle, but instead a hot one.”
I shake my head. “Whatever. I’m back Friday morning, so we can go out Friday night.”
“Sounds good,” she agrees. “I’m off to bed.”
“Same,” I tell her, but I don’t want to end the call. “Have a good night, Koda.”
“You too. Good luck tomorrow.”
“Thanks,” I say, and she hangs up. All I can do is look at the phone when she sends another text.
Koda: I promise to stop fucking with you. Unless you don’t want me to.
Is she flirting with me? I look at the text over and over again. The biggest question is, do I want her to flirt with me? And do I want to flirt with her back?
I throw my phone on the bed before I answer her back that I want her to fuck with me. I want her to fuck with me whenever she wants to fuck with me. I want her to fuck with me morning, noon, and night.
I get off the bed and pull off my sweatshirt and also my T-shirt, tossing them on the desk under the television. Before walking to the bathroom and turning on the shower, I try to clear my head. I think of the game tomorrow as I unbutton my pants and push down both my pants and my boxers at the same time before my socks join the pile, and I step into the water. I let the rain shower wash over me, putting my head down so it can roll down my neck. The tension in my neck is getting tighter and tighter when all I can do is picture Koda. I place one hand on the shower wall and the other on my cock. The water runs down my shoulders, over my chest, and straight down to my balls as I stroke myself. I can hear her voice calling my name, the way her eyes darkened when I got closer to her. The way her mouth opened when I leaned in to kiss her cheek. The way her mouth might have tasted. The way she might taste. The way she would slide down my cock while I would watch her pussy take me all in. The way her tits would bounce up and down, the way I would lick my thumb to play with her clit. It doesn’t take more than that before my balls get tight, and I come on the shower floor. I tug my cock a couple more times before I’m done. “What the fuck did I just do?” It’s a question I don’t know if I can answer. It’s also a question that is so loaded there is not a right or wrong answer. The guilt that I just jerked off over my friend’s wife comes barreling through me so fast I can’t stop it, making it even harder to breathe, let alone think.
Grabbing the white towel hanging on the rack, I wrap it around my waist before walking over to my black carry-on bag, unzipping it, and taking out a pair of black boxers. I walk back over to the bed and grab the phone, seeing it’s a little after nine when I pull up Stone’s number.
Stone answers after two rings. “Hey.”
“Hey.” I pull the covers back and slide into bed. “I have something to say, but I also need you not to judge me.”
“No can do,” he answers right away, “this has never been a non-judgment zone.”
“What?” I snap. “Since when?”
“Since you just said don’t judge me. I’m going to obviously judge you. It doesn’t mean I’m going to stop having your back, but?—”
I groan.
“Going to judge you.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I close my eyes. “I’m being fucking serious.”
“So am I.” He laughs. “What has gotten into you?”
I rub my hand over my face. “I have no idea, to be honest.” I try to get the right words, but there are no right words for this. “I think I have feelings for Koda.” I close my eyes the minute I say the words. At the same time, my stomach falls to my feet. Thinking this and saying it are two different things.
“I’m sorry.” I can hear his confusion. “What did you just say?”
“I know. I know.” My head goes back before I put my hand on my head.
“Did you just say what I think you said?” he asks, his voice in a whisper like if he whispers, no one else can hear it.
“You think I want this?” I snap, frustration in my voice.
“Christopher,” he says my name, and I’m not sure if it’s a warning or a what the fuck. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking that she’s a great fucking mom. I’m thinking that Benji is” I start to say but correct myself, “was a stupid fuck for everything he put her through. I think that she’s kind and she’s sweet and she’s so…” I stop before I say she’s the sexiest woman I’ve ever met in my life.
“You think you are falling for her, or you have already fallen for her?” He laughs. “Because the way it sounds, you are already half in love with Koda.”
“Jesus Christ, Stone,” I hiss, “who is next to you?”
“Um, my wife, but I’ve paid her five dollars so everything I say near or around her is like an NDA type of thing.”
“You are so dumb.” I shake my head.
“Don’t listen to him,” Ryleigh says. Then I hear the ringing coming and see it’s a FaceTime alert.
I press the button, and they come onto the screen. Both of them are in bed, same as me. “I won’t say anything because I don’t have a big mouth. Him, on the other hand.” She points at Stone. “Like The Gazette.” He gasps while I laugh. “So you like Koda?”
“You can say that,” I admit to her, “but it’s wrong.”
“Why?” she asks, and Stone just looks at her with his mouth hanging low.
“That’s his best friend’s girl,” Stone explains.
“But he’s not here.” She points at him. “So is it even an issue?”
“You bet your ass it’s a fucking issue,” Stone snaps. “She’s off-limits.”
“Why?” Ryleigh asks him. “Benji is dead. It’s not like he’s on vacation or in jail. He’s literally gone, never coming back. She’s going to end up getting with someone. So it might as well be someone who is a semi-decent guy.”
“Semi?” I say, insulted. “What the fuck? Why semi?”
“I mean, you are still going for your best friend’s girl.” She shrugs. “Other than that, you are a decent guy.”
“Um, thanks,” I say, not sure what the fuck is going on.
“Are you saying that if I die, you are going to get with my best friend?” Stone asks her, and Ryleigh looks around, moving her head side to side like she’s going through his friend list in her head, making Stone’s face look like it’s about to explode.
“If I had to, I guess there are a couple I could possibly, maybe, go for,” she decides, then looks at the camera. “You aren’t on that list.”
“I’m hurt,” I reply, putting my hand to my chest. “Before he has a coronary”—I point at Stone—“can we focus on one problem at a time?”
“Yes, let’s,” Ryleigh agrees.
“We are going to have words later.” Stone glares at her. “And you better get your pen and paper out because I want a contract drawn up and notarized.” Ryleigh laughs at him.
“What are you going to do if I don’t follow it after you’re dead?” Ryleigh crosses her arms over her chest. “Come back and haunt me?”
“You bet your ass.” Stone doesn’t even take a second to think about it.
“Can we get back to Christopher, please?” Ryleigh redirects. “Listen, bottom line, you are both free to do what you want. She has nothing holding her back, and neither do you. The question is, will you be able to get past the fact that she was Benji’s first?”
“Yeah, remember that,” Stone reminds me, “she was his first.” He looks at Ryleigh. “Like, how did this even happen? You’ve known her for what, ten years, and all of a sudden, you are like, I like her.”
“I’ve known her, but I’ve never known her like that. I’ve always known her with Benji,” I say softly, “but now it’s just her and the girls. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just different.”
“Fuck, man,” Stone says, “I don’t know what to say. The reality is that she’s by herself now.”
“I would never, ever go there if Benji was alive.”
“I know you wouldn’t. Fuck, everyone knows that, and if they don’t, then they don’t really know you at all.” Stone shakes his head. “I think you need to figure out if you can get through the whole Benji at the back of your mind every time something happens.”
“Whatever you do,” Ryleigh advises, “remember there are two girls in the middle of this.”
“And they’re amazing,” I point out, and Ryleigh just smirks at me. “What’s that look?”
“Nothing, it’s just that I think you have your answer,” she says, looking at Stone, who side-eyes her. “Jesus, you aren’t even dead yet, and we are arguing about me moving on.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Okay, I’m going to go and not be in the middle of this,” I tell them. “Thanks for the talk and not being judgmental, asshole,” I direct to Stone, who grabs the phone and hangs up on me.
I turn the lights off and slide down into the bed, turning my head to the side and wondering what it would be like if Koda was mine.