Chapter 27
DREW
Ikissed her again, slower this time, my hand sliding up her side. She made the right sounds but something about it felt off. I pulled back enough to look at her face. Her eyes were open but unfocused, staring somewhere past my shoulder.
“Hey,” I said quietly. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.
I knew that smile. I’d seen it before when she was trying to convince me she wasn’t upset about something that was clearly eating at her. It was the smile she used when she wanted me to drop it.
I wasn’t dropping it. Sex was great but she was still my friend, and in that moment, she needed the friend side of me.
“Kensey.” I shifted my weight off her, propping myself up on one elbow. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re a terrible liar. Talk to me. Did I do something?”
“Of course not.”
“Tell me. You were fine before I went into the shower.”
She sighed and looked away. I waited. I’d learned a long time ago that pushing her never worked. She’d talk when she was ready.
“It’s stupid,” she said finally.
“If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.”
She hesitated, then reached over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand. She unlocked it, tapped a few times, and handed it to me without a word.
I read the email. Fall semester dates. Faculty meetings. First day of school.
My stomach dropped.
I handed the phone back. “Okay.”
“I told you it was stupid.” She set the phone down and rubbed her face with both hands. “I knew this was temporary. I knew I had to go back. But seeing the dates just made it real, you know? Like suddenly I could count the days and it wasn’t enough.”
I sat up, running a hand through my damp hair. “I’ve been thinking about it too.”
She looked at me, surprised. “You have?”
“Of course I have.” I let out a breath. “I’ve been trying not to think about it, actually. But yeah. It’s been there. In the back of my head. The whole time.”
She sat up as well, pulling the sheet around herself. “What do we do?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. I still hadn’t come up with anything that didn’t end with one of us sacrificing something we couldn’t afford to give up.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly.
“We should probably talk about it,” she said. “Figure out what this is. What we want it to be.”
“Do we need to talk about it now?” I asked. I felt like a coward and hated it.
She studied my face for a long moment. “No,” she said finally. “I guess not.”
The silence stretched between us, heavy with everything we weren’t saying. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to tell her I’d figure something out. That we’d make it work somehow. But I couldn’t make promises I didn’t know how to keep. I couldn’t invent teleportation or move the coastlines together.
A knock at the door saved us both.
“Room service,” a muffled voice called.
I stood and grabbed the robe from the bathroom, tying it quickly. I opened the door to find a server with a cart loaded down with more food than two people could reasonably eat.
“Where would you like it, sir?”
“By the window is fine.”
He wheeled the cart over and began setting up. Silver domes covered most of the dishes. A bottle of champagne sat in an ice bucket. Fresh strawberries in a crystal bowl. Small ramekins of chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
I signed the bill and added a generous tip. The server thanked me and left. Kensey had gotten up and put on the other robe. She walked over to the cart and lifted one of the domes.
“You ordered an entire chocolate lava cake,” she said.
“Surprise.”
I poured two glasses of champagne and handed her one. She took it, her fingers brushing mine.
“To us,” I said, raising my glass.
She hesitated for just a second before clinking hers against mine. “To us.”
We drank. The champagne was good, crisp and cold and exactly what I needed to wash away the tightness in my chest.
I picked up a strawberry and dipped it in the chocolate sauce, then held it out to her. She leaned forward and bit into it, her eyes on mine. Some of the chocolate dripped onto her bottom lip. I reached up and wiped it away with my thumb.
“Messy,” I said.
“Your fault for feeding me.”
I dipped another strawberry, this time in the whipped cream, and ate it myself. The sweetness exploded on my tongue.
We stood there by the window, the city lights spread out below us, taking turns feeding each other strawberries and sipping champagne. The awkwardness from earlier didn’t disappear entirely, but it eased. We were good at this part. The comfortable silence.
“This is nice,” she said softly.
“Yeah.”
She set her glass down and moved closer, wrapping her arms around my waist. I held her, my chin resting on top of her head, and stared out at the city.
“We’ll figure it out,” I said.
She didn’t respond right away. Then she nodded against my chest. “Yeah. We will.”
I didn’t know if either of us believed it. But for now, I let myself pretend it was true.
She pulled back slightly, tilting her head up to look at me. I could see her working through it. She took a breath and let it out slowly. I felt that exhale in my soul.
“Tell me about this yacht party you’re dragging me to,” she said.
She was changing the subject. I was going to let her. I didn’t dwell on the negative. It would only ruin the time we had left.
“This one is significantly easier than the beach club event,” I said. “For me, anyway. For us.”
“How so?”
“I didn’t plan it. I didn’t organize it. I have zero responsibility for whether the food runs out or the lighting is right or the models show up on time.” I picked up my champagne glass. “We just show up and smile.”
She looked at me like she was waiting for the catch. “That’s it?”
“That’s it. We get on a boat. We eat food someone else ordered. We drink free liquor. We talk to a few people. And at the end of the night, we get off the boat and go home.”
“Okay,” she said.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Kensey.”
She sighed. “I just don’t want to be the person who doesn’t know anyone and stands at the railing looking at the water while everyone else is doing inside jokes and talking about people I’ve never heard of.”
“You did fine at the beach club event.”
“That was different. I had a job at the beach club event. I had a purpose. I was running around making sure things didn’t fall apart. I didn’t have time to feel out of place.” She set her glass down. “A party where I’m just a guest is a different thing entirely.”
“You know Callum and Victoria. Cleo. Micah. They’ll be there. And you fit in just fine at the beach club party, Kens. You worked the room. You talked to the buyers. You’re going to do fine.”
“What if I just stay close to you?” she asked.
“You better,” I said. “I wasn’t exactly intending to let you wander off.”
The corner of her mouth curved up. “Is that so?”
“It is.” I picked up a strawberry and handed it to her.
Kensey laughed. The tension from earlier had mostly dissolved. We’d put it aside for now. We were good at that too, maybe too good. The reckoning would come. But not tonight.
“Thank you,” she said. “For today. All of it.”
“Don’t thank me,” I said. “Without you, eating strawberries alone in my suite in a robe would just be sad. With you here, it’s romantic as hell. A night to be cherished forever.”
Kensey smiled at me, her eyes shining with affection. “You know, I think I have a way we can use this whipped cream and chocolate sauce.”
I arched a brow. “You’ll get messy. And sticky.”
“I’m washable.”
We fell into bed and guaranteed I was going to be paying an extra fee for new sheets.
The following morning, we caught a ride to the airport. We were both subdued. Not depressed, just quiet.
In the plane, Kensey took the window seat and I sat beside her.
Her hair was down. She had her book open in her lap, the vampire one she’d refused to read aloud, but I noticed she hadn’t turned a page in the last twenty minutes.
Her head found my shoulder somewhere over the Central Valley. I shifted to make it easier for her.
I didn’t read. I didn’t pull out my phone. I just sat there with my chin tipped down and looked at the top of her head and thought about a lot of things I wasn’t ready to say out loud.
“You asleep?” I asked quietly.
“No.” Her voice was soft. Drowsy but awake. “Thinking.”
“About?”
A pause. “My classroom. What I want to do differently this year.” Another pause. “Stupid stuff.”
“It’s not stupid.”
“I love my job,” she said, like she was reminding herself of something.
“I know you do.”
“I’m good at it.”
“You’re great at it,” I said. “From everything you’ve told me, you’re exactly the kind of teacher those kids need.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment. Then she closed the book, set it in her lap, and looked out the window at the darkening sky.
“I don’t want to spend the rest of the summer with this hanging over everything.”
“It doesn’t have to.”
“Okay.” She seemed to accept that. She turned back to the window. “Okay.”
I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and she settled back against my shoulder.
We landed just after ten. The car was waiting on the tarmac. Kensey stood beside me while our bags were loaded, looking up at the LA sky.
“Welcome home,” I said.
She smiled. “It never stops feeling like home. Even after all this time.”
I held the door for her and we got in. She sat close to me in the back seat, our hands loosely linked, neither of us talking much. I couldn’t explain the feeling. It was like we were marching toward our own funeral. I hoped the next few weeks weren’t spent thinking about the end.
The car pulled up in front of her parents’ house. Kensey unbuckled and turned to look at me. “Thank you,” she said. “For all of it. The bookstore. The burgers. The ridiculous tourist bus.”
“Thank you for the thing with the whipped cream,” I said with a grin.
She laughed. “And all of that.” She leaned in and kissed me. I held the back of her neck and didn’t rush it. When she pulled back, her eyes stayed closed for just a second. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“You better.”
I watched her walk up the front path with her bag over her shoulder. The door opened before she reached it. Her mother stepped out and waved at me. I felt like an ass for not walking her to the door but I had a feeling it was easier this way. And I would see her tomorrow.
I got back to my house and it was exactly as I’d left it. Clean. Quiet. Empty. Devoid of life. I missed her and it had been exactly a half hour since I’d seen her.
But I needed to make plans. I was going to make the most of our time and maybe, just maybe if I impressed her enough, she might think about staying. And if she still had to leave, I was going to make sure she went out in style.
I pulled out my phone and called Annika.
“Drew.” Her voice was warm and alert. “How are you?”
“Good. Listen, I need a favor.”
“Don’t we all.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “What are we doing?”
“The yacht party is coming up. I need something for Kensey. Something that works on a boat. Not too formal, not too casual. She’s going to fight me on it, so don’t tell her I called.”
There was a pause on the other end. A considering pause. I could hear the wheels turning.
“I already have her measurements from the beach club event,” she said. “I have just the thing that will really make you swoon.”
“What? Me? Swoon?”
“Yes, Drew, even you, a big strong man, will swoon when you see her in it. If you weren’t already in love with her, the dress would seal the deal.”
I smiled and moved to stare out the window. “Is it that obvious?”
“To anyone paying attention? Absolutely.” A pause. “She’s wonderful, by the way. I liked her very much.”
“She liked you too.”
“Smart woman.” I heard the sound of hangers moving.
“Whatever you think,” I said. “I trust your sense of style. You’re better at this than I am.”
“I’m better at this than everyone.” She said it without arrogance.
I laughed. “Yes, you are.”
“Drew, can I say something?”
“You’re going to say it regardless.”
She laughed. “Lock that down,” she said. “I mean it. Whatever you’re doing, whatever this is, stop being an idiot about it and lock it down.”
I laughed. “It’s complicated.”
“It’s always complicated,” she said. “And then it isn’t. And then you wonder why you wasted so much time making it complicated.”
“Thank you, Annika.”