Chapter 26
GAbrIELLA
Since everything had been revealed, life turned into a whirlwind.
Group chats were made, and plans were set in motion.Three weeks later, we were on our way to the local water park, a popular spot for kids of all ages.
The Thorne family chose to come to us, travelling from their hometown to meet up in the city, which had Leonardo excited but apprehensive.
We’d sat Angelina down a couple of days before, and she took the news surprisingly well, offering that she always wanted an older brother.
I was proud of my seven-year-old, the beautiful girl we’d raised, and I had to step out to have a private moment.
Leonardo found me in the hallway, wrapped me in his arms and cried alongside me.
The joint cleansing was surprisingly cathartic.
I now peeked at the man in question, both hands on the steering wheel as he pulled out of our driveway. He had been staying at a nearby motel, which you wouldn’t have guessed, based on how often he was at the house.
Over a fortnight had passed since our blowout, and in that short amount of time Leonardo had checked back in, cutting his hours at work and refocusing on the family. Chores, groceries, school pickup, homework—he was all over it.
Leonardo also opened up all forms of communication, constantly updating me of his whereabouts and plans, fully transparent, leaving no room for misinterpretation. He also included notes from his new therapist and his recent counselling sessions. My husband was definitely thorough.
I never returned his messages unless it was in relation to the girls, but I could feel myself wavering with each incoming text.
His efforts were noted, each action tallied with a tick against his name, which left behind a bitter aftertaste, flipping me back into resentment soon after.
I wanted to hate him for his efforts, to believe that he did those things to gain favour, but even I couldn’t convince myself of that.
He was merely being the Leonardo I was used to, the reliable husband and father I had loved for most of my life. These actions were not new or in retaliation to my ultimatum. If anything, he was slipping into the same role he had always played. Leonardo was merely being himself.
So why did you fail me? I internally asked, glancing at his slicked-back peppered hair and his pouty mouth that I craved and missed.
My heart was still in tatters from his keeping secrets, and I was terrified to even contemplate how we’d navigate through the wreckage.
Leonardo was my constant, the one I could fully rely on. And based on his reasoning, I could even accept that he didn’t intend to hurt me. However, the end result still remained the same—in a snapshot moment born from emotion and shock, he had managed to annihilate my trust in him completely.
How do I come back from that? How do I rebuild my trust in him? How do I get rid of this resentment building up inside me? Do I want to?
I loved my husband. Was in love with my husband. Still, was that enough?
I didn’t know the answer. But I was finally willing to find out.
I’d been contemplating his former proposal of couples counselling and had begun researching for myself, wanting to be fully informed before I jumped into that level of commitment.
I wanted to be strong, look at the scenario from all angles and make a decision based on logic rather than feelings, since that had always failed me before.
It was the perfect time to test that theory. As we closed the distance to our destination, Leonardo grew more tense. My gaze fell on his bouncing knee and the white-knuckled fingers digging into his thigh—the only outward tells that he was internally losing his mind.
Feeling a little pity and a whole lot of understanding, I reached out. I may have been angry at him, but his pain still had a direct effect on me.
Leonardo flinched when my hand skirted over his shaking one. Then he gasped in disbelief when I tightened my fingers around his. Grey eyes locked on mine, filled with gratitude, hope and love.
I panicked and blurted, “Eyes on the road.”
He gulped and shifted his gaze forward, unable to hide the tears gathering in his lash line.
I’d meant to provide a kind gesture, a small offering to calm his nerves, but the subtle action had transported us back to a previous time; a hotel room, lying on a bed, where the only point of contact tethering me to the earth was his hand in mine.
For the rest of the drive, Leonardo held on tightly, acknowledging my offering and accepting it for what it was.
I’m here for you.
The day couldn’t have been more perfect, scattered with sun, swimming and children’s laughter.
Alongside Austin, the Thornes brought their four-year-old, Adam, and two-year-old, Olivia, their lively presence welcome.
The kids bonded and became fast friends, their innocence shining through, too excited to enjoy the water park to worry about complicated adult stuff.
If anything, Austin got a bit exasperated from all the attention his younger siblings doted on him. He was the cool big brother everyone wanted to follow. At first, he found the idea grand, which soon staled when he was weighed down by the burden of popularity.
The only source of unease was between Leonardo and Owen, Austin’s adoptive father. It wasn’t hostility, but more an underlying awareness of how to navigate their roles as dads moving forward.
They soon took a stroll together, leaving Alexis and I with the two youngest, splashing around in the shallows.
“Do you think they’ll be okay?” she asked, gnawing on her bottom lip in concern.
I stared after their retreating backs, knowing they’d come back reassured and settled, purely for the sake of their son.
“Yes, I think they’ll be okay.”
I was right. The two males had returned smiling, finding a common interest and love in their professions. Owen was a respected physiotherapist who specialised in neurological conditions, which happened to be my husband’s field of expertise.
Despite Alexis and Owen being over a decade younger than us, they were mature for their ages, insightful in their views and had shown grace as we navigated our way towards a new normal.
Our families surprisingly clicked well, and I was glad to know Austin was brought up in such a supportive community. It made me optimistic for the future.
After a quick dinner and a bath, the girls fell asleep immediately, exhausted after a big day of play.
As I came out of Celeste’s room, Leonardo hovered in the kitchen, hands digging deep in his pockets as he stared off into space.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, switching on the coffee machine.
He chuckled before shaking his head in disbelief. “Okay? It’s more than okay. Today was… magnificent. Seeing my son alongside his sisters. God, I thought my heart was going to burst.”
I prepared my hot drink, avoiding his gaze, avoiding the overbearing emotion. “It seemed to be a success.”
“Mm... And how are you, Ella?”
My head shot up then, catching his grey gaze on me, penetrating and inescapable. “I just want to check in with you after today. I know it was a lot,” he said.
“My feelings are void in this. I’m glad—”
“Like hell they are. You are my wife, Ella. And you have every right to feel any type of way about this scenario.”
I closed my eyes, slumping back against the bench as I calibrated my thoughts. I felt conflicted. Not necessarily angry or frustrated, just dog-tired. I’d hit my emotional quota for the day, and my energy was waning.
“It doesn’t matter,” I murmured, barely coherent.
I was unsure on how long I stood there, mute. But I was coaxed back by warm, sure hands that softly sifted through my hair, just the way I liked.
“I’m here, Ella. Talk to me, darling. About anything. Tell me how you feel. Tell me what you’re thinking. Rant at me, call me names, cuss me out, lay everything on me. I can take it. You matter. You’ve always mattered.”
I don’t want to talk right now. I don’t think I can. “Not… Not yet,” I managed to say in a broken whisper.
“Not yet is better than never, so I’ll take it.”
I continued to keep my lids fully shut and concentrated on my breathing. I was so overwhelmed and overstimulated that I didn’t have anything else to spare.
Leonardo had always been able to read me—my deepest wants, my incessant needs. And at that moment, I desperately wanted to be alone.
“I’ll leave you now, but before I do, I want to say thank you, Ella.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I was a fool to ever doubt you.
You are the most gracious, kind-hearted, empathetic woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Just promise me that you’ll call if you need me. Anytime, anywhere, I’ll come running.”
I felt his fingers affectionately stroke the pendant at my throat—the one he’d gifted me so long ago. Then the soft impression of his lips lightly pressed against my forehead.
“Sleep well, darling. I love you.”