Chapter 23 #2
“Because everyone knows everyone in the Melbourne gay scene, and he hasn’t seen or heard anything about you and me. And I haven’t posted anything on socials because…” Huxley doesn’t finish his sentence, looking up at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Haven’t posted because…? I don’t follow, Hux.”
“Well, you’re not out,” he says, throwing up his arms. “So, I can’t post a photo of us, or tell someone so the gossip gets back to him.”
I’ve never seen Huxley this frustrated before, and I’m not far behind him. “Fair point. I see. So this is all my fault.”
“Oh my God, Oliver.” Huxley rolls his eyes. “No, this isn’t your fault. I’m just explaining why Bradley thinks he has a chance, because he thinks I’m single. Not that we’ve discussed what we are. I guess we’re dating, but it’s not official.”
Huxley lifts his palms up defensively. “Look, Oliver, I’m not trying to pressure you.
You should come out when you’re ready. It’s only been a few weeks.
Seriously, don’t give Bradley another thought.
I have no interest in getting back together with him.
He wants the exact opposite of what I want out of a relationship.
He partied all the time, didn’t want to settle down, and he was always trying to coerce me into having threesomes.
And I’m pretty sure he cheated on me all the time. ”
Okay, I’ve royally fucked this up. Huxley is talking a mile a minute, his anxiety skyrocketing.
“Hux, I’m sorry. Really, please forgive me.” I reach for his hands, grateful when he allows it. “I saw the text and I got jealous. I jumped to conclusions, and I shouldn’t have. I don’t own you. It’s really none of my business.”
Huxley softens, sighing and stepping closer. “If we’re dating, then it is your business. And there’s nothing to forgive. To be clear, I’m not dating anyone else.”
“Neither am I, and I don’t want to, either.”
“You really got jealous?” he says, a soft smile appearing.
“Yup.” I pull him into a hug.
“That’s kinda hot.”
“You’re kinda hot.” I pull back and press my lips to his, the kiss reassuring. But I’m disappointed I’m the reason we didn’t end up having a perfect weekend.
“Oliver, I’m not upset. I had a great time. Do you want to go on a mid-week date again this week?”
“Yeah, I’d love that. I’ll come up with some ideas. We could go to a movie or take that evening stroll on the beach.”
“We could go to a movie and make out in the back row.”
“I like the way you think, Huxley Sinclair.”
Standing on the sidewalk, I wave until Huxley’s car turns the corner. Back inside, I find a sad Cazaly lying on the floor in the hallway. “I know, I already miss them, too.” Cazaly whines and I give him a pat.
It’s dinnertime, so I look in the fridge and pantry, trying to decide what to cook. I feel like shit. Huxley’s words about not being able to post a photo of us because I’m not out run on repeat. Why am I not making the effort to come out faster?
Sitting at the dining table, I scroll through all the photos from the dog park.
I choose one of us smiling at each other, the nature of our relationship as clear as day for anyone who bothers to pay attention.
Cazaly and Louis are sitting in front of us, heads together, their tongues hanging out after running around too much. I write the caption and hit share.
These two have only had eyes for each other since the day they met. I think they might be perfect together! #CazalyandLouis #puppylove #perfectpaws
Abandoning dinner altogether, I grab my keys and head out to the car. Before I drive off, I send Huxley a text.
Me: I’m on my way to my mum’s house. I’m going to come out to her. I’m sorry for how I acted about Bradley. I trust you. And you’re right, you could post photos of us together if I was out, so this is me taking the first step. And check my Insta. I wasn’t talking about Cazaly and Louis xx
When I arrive, my stomach is in knots, but I’m determined to do this. The drive has given me time to think about what I’m going to say, but I’ll most likely blurt out something entirely different in the moment.
Before getting out of the car, I check my messages.
Huxley: I’m so proud of you. But please only do this for yourself and not for me. I commented on the photo, and I hope that’s okay? It meant a lot to me that you posted it. Text or call after you’ve seen your mum, if you want to talk. I hope it goes well x
I swipe out of my messages and open Insta to see Huxley’s comment.
Huxley_Sinclair Perhaps they are meant to be. Louis loves sleeping snuggled up with Cazaly
My heart almost stops at Huxley’s words. I read the comment again. I’ve also thought that we were destined in some way. It sounds so cliché and stupid, but how else can I rationalise the intensity of my feelings after such a short time?
With a full heart, I head inside.
“You sure you don’t want anything to eat, Oli? I have leftovers.” My mum leans forward, staring into my eyes. “Are you okay? It’s not like you to show up unannounced.”
I’m seated at the breakfast table in the kitchen, body shaking.
This shouldn’t be this hard. I can’t help but think of Koa, knowing how many times he’s had to come out to people.
I always had empathy for him, but no idea it felt like this.
“No Mum, I’m not hungry right now. Everything’s okay.
I just have something important to tell you. Can you sit down?”
“Okay, what is it?” she asks, taking the seat next to me.
“Um…remember when I told you about the new teacher at school? Huxley. The one who I’ve become good mates with?”
My mother frowns, worry etched across her face. “Yes, I remember. It caused that terrible argument between you and Reece.”
“Yeah, that’s right. Well…” My mouth is like sandpaper, the words seemingly stuck. “You see, well, there’s no simple way to put this. I’m kinda seeing Huxley. Like, we’re dating. Mum, I think I’m bi and I hope that’s okay, and you aren’t disappointed or—”
“No of course I’m not disappointed. Oli, it’s okay.” She grabs my hand and holds it tightly. “I’m a little surprised, but all I want is for you to be happy. Years ago, I thought maybe you and Koa were together, but then he came out and you didn’t. I figured I had it wrong.”
“What? You thought I was gay? Why didn’t you say anything?”
Mum shakes her head, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to pressure you if you weren’t ready to come out. Then you started dating girls.”
My thoughts spiral. “Mum, I had no idea I was bi until I met Huxley. Looking back, I can see there were signs that I misread, but… You really thought me and Koa?”
She smiles and kisses my cheek. “I did. Does he know about this Huxley boy?”
“Yeah, he’s been really supportive and helpful.”
“Good. So Huxley must be a pretty special guy.”
“He is. I really want to make a go of it.”
Mum pulls me into a hug. “I’m so happy you’ve met someone special. I love you so much.”
My tears catch me unawares, relief flooding my veins. “Thanks Mum. It means a lot that you’re okay with it.”
Pulling back, I wipe away my tears. “I’m just worried about Reece. I don’t want to tell him just yet. Is that okay?”
“Of course. When you decide to come out to Reece, I can be there if you like. I won’t tolerate him saying terrible things about you. Or Huxley either, if you two are together. Reece will have to learn to accept it and be respectful.”
I nod. “I don’t want this to cause a rift in our family. That would break my heart.”
“It won’t, darling. I won’t let it. Now, tell me all about Huxley. Do you have a photo? But first, I bet you’re hungry now that you’ve gotten that off your chest.”
I smile at how well my mum knows me.
She stands. “Okay, let me warm up a plate for you, and then we can talk.”
I spend an hour telling Mum about Huxley and showing her all the photos I have. She can’t wait to meet him and suggests I bring him over for dinner soon.
By the time I slip into the driver’s seat, I’m exhausted, but so grateful to have her as my mum. Not wanting to wait a second longer, I call Huxley with the news.
“Hey,” he answers on the third ring.
“Hux, I did it and it went great. She wants to meet you. I know it’s probably too early to meet each other’s parents, but when you’re ready.”
“Really? She wants to meet me? I’m so happy for you, Oli.”
“I’m so relieved. I was so nervous. Coming out is hard, even though I knew she’d be okay with it.”
“I wish I was with you right now.”
At Huxley’s words, my body physically aches. What is this man doing to me? “Me too,” I say. “Hey, I’m sorry about earlier. I know I’m not out at work yet, but soon, okay. I promise I’ll get there.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, I know you will. Are you home now?”
“No, I’m in the car. Just about to leave my mum’s house.”
“Will you text me when you get home?”
“Yeah, course. I had a great weekend, Hux. I didn’t want you to leave.”
“Me either.”
“Hey, I better go. I’ll text you once I’m home.”
“Drive safe. Bye, Oli.”
“Hux, wait.”
“Yeah?”
I suck in a deep breath. “I just wanted to say… I really loved sleeping next to you, too. So much. Bye.”
I end the call before I can say too much. It’s too early in the relationship to share everything I’m feeling.
Turning on the ignition, I pull out into the traffic. Today was a damn good day.