Chapter 24
Huxley
Period four is year twelve maths, and since the incident, Jake and Troy haven’t caused any more disruptions.
But they still make me uncomfortable. It feels like they are always looking for an opportunity to stir up trouble.
Fortunately, Amber is also in the class, so it’s nice to see a friendly face.
Toward the end of the lesson, I have students come up to my desk so I can look over their answers, or they can seek help if needed.
I’m busy going over a formula with a student when I notice, in my peripheral vision, a hand picking up my pride flag.
Instead of reacting, I continue explaining to the student.
“Hey Jake, have you seen this?”
I look up to see Amir—another boy in their friend group—holding up the flag for Jake to see.
“Is that even allowed?” Jake replies loudly.
The entire class falls silent, looking from me to Jake.
My first thought is, why is life always like this?
Why does it seem that when everything is going great, something has to come along and fuck it up?
“Put the flag down, Amir,” I say, then look at Jake.
“Jake, get on with your work. You only have five minutes left before the bell.”
“But I thought you weren’t allowed to have gay rainbow stuff at school?”
At Jake’s words, my stomach drops. How the fuck does he know I’m not supposed to have pride stuff on display? While I’m trying to process the situation, Troy says something, but I only catch the end of it.
“…put up with this queer stuff.”
I stand abruptly, my chair almost toppling over behind me. “Alright. That’s enough! Everyone in your seats, and no talking until the bell.”
“But Mr. Sinclair, we shouldn’t have to—”
This kid and his fucking back chatting. “Enough, Jake! Or you can take yourself to Mr. Williams’s office for detention.” I’ve never raised my voice to a student like this before, and it instantly feels wrong.
Jake gathers up his books. “I think that’s exactly what I might do.” He smiles cockily at the class, then strides out of the room with his chest puffed out.
Every student stares back at me. Some are laughing while others are shocked. My head spins, nausea climbing up my throat.
Did Bob Fellows tell students I’m not allowed any pride merchandise at school? Why would he bother? And if he didn’t, then who did?
The bell sounds, and I’ve never been more grateful. Amber hangs back until the others have left. “Are you okay, Mr. Sinclair?”
“Yeah, Amber, I’ll be fine. You go to lunch.”
Alone in my empty classroom, I try to piece it together. After Jake made fun of the pride pin, I sent him to see Principal Williams. Jake would’ve told him why he was removed from my class.
My mouth drops open.
Surely not.
I gather my things and rush down the corridor to Oliver’s office. We’d planned on having lunch in the teachers’ lounge today, as we need to show our faces there more often, but first I need to speak to him privately. The door is closed when I arrive.
After knocking twice with no response, I open it to an empty office. Anxiety spiking, I step inside and pace.
“Hey, Hux.”
Oliver steps into the office, takes one look at me, and his smile drops. “What’s happened?”
“Close the door.”
He does, then places his hands on my shoulders to stop me from pacing. “Tell me what happened.”
I grab at Oliver’s sports jacket, needing something to steady me. I tell him what happened, then add, “The whole class was staring at me. Oliver, how did he know that? Like, what the fuck?”
Oliver frowns. “He shouldn’t know. How does he know?”
“The only thing I can think of is that when I sent him to Williams’s office for his behaviour over the pride pin, he told Williams, and Williams said right there and then that it wasn’t allowed. How else could he know? Unless Bob Fellows is going around telling students.”
“I doubt it. He seems to have shut up after I spoke to him. But you’re right about Williams, I guess. Fuck, that’s so unprofessional! This is really pissing me off.”
I step away from Oliver, needing to sit down for a second. “And, to make matters worse, Jake just took himself to Williams’s office at the end of class. He’s there right now reporting my pride flag.” I put my head in my hands, tears stinging my eyes.
“Shit. Okay, let’s go. You’re going to get called in for another meeting.” Oliver takes my arm and pulls me up into his arms for a quick hug. “It’s okay, Hux. I’ll back you.”
Oliver leads and I follow him out and down the empty corridor.
“We’re going to remove the flag for the time being until we decide how you should play this. Okay?”
I nod. I’m overwhelmed and not thinking clearly. Is this even what I want to do? “But what if I don’t want to remove it?” I ask.
Oliver stops, turning to face me. “I know you don’t want to, and you shouldn’t have to, but let’s do this so if Williams comes to your room he won’t find anything and you won’t be dragged into another stupid meeting.”
As soon as we enter my classroom, I pick up the flag and pack it away in my bag. It feels like I’m compromising all my values and letting the homophobes win, but I understand where Oliver is coming from.
“Okay,” he says, looking relieved. “Let’s go and eat lunch and we’ll talk more after school. We need time to figure out what the actual fuck is going on here and who’s involved. Hux, are you okay? God, I want to hold you right now.” Oliver pulls me into a hug, then releases me just as fast.
“I’ll be fine. Let’s go, then.”
In the teachers’ lounge, we sit down with Oliver’s group of friends. I won’t be able to eat, but I open my lunch and stare at the sandwich. Oliver is chatting to Michelle, but he squeezes my thigh under the table. It’s a risky move, but I’m grateful for his touch.
“Hey, Oliver,” Jennifer says. “I saw the Insta post of you and Huxley. I didn’t know you two were catching up outside of work.”
“Oh yeah, we’ve caught up a few times. When I found out Huxley had a dog, I suggested we introduce them. And as you can see, they get along great.” Oliver looks at me with a cheeky smile. “Don’t they, Hux? It was like love at first sight.”
I could kiss Oliver right now. “Louis certainly seems smitten. Do you think Cazaly feels the same?”
Oliver nods enthusiastically. “Hmm, yeah, I think so.”
“Aww, that’s so cute,” Jennifer says. “I guess you two will be spending lots of time together then.”
Oliver seems to miss it, but Jennifer is definitely implying something.
“Huxley’s pretty easy to spend time with. We’ve become good mates, haven’t we?” Oliver elbows me roughly.
“Yeah, good mates. Oliver is teaching me about footy,” I say to Jennifer, unable to come up with anything better on the spot.
“Speaking of footy,” Oliver says, turning back to me. “The team has their first game this Friday afternoon. You have free periods Friday arvos don’t you? You should come and check it out.”
“I’d like that. I’d love to see you in action.” Heat flushes my face, and I look down at my sandwich, trying to cover it.
“Hopefully I won’t disappoint.”
“I’m sure you won’t. Excuse me, I need some water.” I scamper over to the kitchen. Does Oliver know how obvious he’s being?
The following morning when I open my emails, I’m not at all surprised to find one from Williams requesting a meeting.
Last night, Oliver and I went out for dinner to discuss it.
We decided there’d be no point trying to deny the flag if Williams already knew about it, and that I should ask him to clarify who made the initial complaint.
Whether or not to challenge the man on how Jake knew was something neither Oliver nor I could decide on.
Pissing off leadership and accusing a principal of unprofessional behaviour would be incredibly risky, if not career suicide.
Oliver offered to attend the meeting with me, if it eventuated, but I want to try and handle this on my own.
I don’t want Oliver getting caught up in it and jeopardising his job.
He also suggested hiring legal representation, but that’s the last thing I want to do at my first teaching position.
Who will hire me if I become known as the teacher who sues their employer?
I’m in the middle of sending Oliver a text to update him when I realise he’s standing at my door, looking like one of those fitness models. “How long have you been there?”
“Not long.” He looks over his shoulder, checking to see if we are alone. “I could stand here and watch you all day. How are you feeling?” Oliver asks, entering the classroom.
“Williams has emailed. Meeting at recess. So I guess Jake has more influence than the average student. Being the star of the senior footy team must carry some weight.”
Oliver stops in front of my desk and it’s hard to resist the urge to kiss him.
“It got me wondering, too. I couldn’t sleep last night, thinking about all this. I’ll see what I can find out about Jake.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
Oliver sits on the edge of my desk, our eyes meeting. “Me? Why would I do anything stupid?”
He fingers my tie, his eyes dropping to my lips. Oliver’s back is facing the row of windows that look out into the corridor. “Can you see anyone out there?” he asks, tilting his head toward the corridor.
“Nope.”
Oliver tugs on my tie, pulling me towards him. The kiss is tender but over way too soon as he quickly puts space between us. “I miss you when we’re not together,” he whispers.
I smile up at him, my stomach doing cartwheels. “Me too. But that was a risky move.”
“It was worth it. I can’t wait until our date tomorrow night, so I can get you alone.”
“Thought we were going to the movies?” I ask.
“Well, that’s sort of alone. But I was actually talking about afterwards.” Oliver winks. It’s dorky but somehow sexy at the same time.
I stand and move closer to him. “Maybe I’m not that sort of girl.”
Oliver laughs, gaze wandering down my body. “Oh, but you are that sort of girl, Hux.”
“Well, I never, Mr. Turner.”
At the sound of students approaching, we step away from each other, teacher personas instantly back.
“I better go,” Oliver says. “If you have time, text me after the meeting. Try not to stress, I’m sure it will be okay. He’ll just tell you not to display anything, and that’ll be it. And let’s have lunch in my office today, so we can talk about it.”
“Okay, but it’s hard not to stress. I’ll see you at lunch. Thanks, Oli.”
“Nothing to thank me for.” He retreats slowly, concern in his eyes. “Bye.”
Once Oliver is gone, I slump down on my chair.
I’m way more anxious than I’m letting on, and I wonder if it’s time I tell Oliver I have autism.
He’s a teacher, he won’t mind, I’m sure of it.
But sometimes I feel like I’m just too much.
Being queer and neurodivergent, that’s a lot.
But first, I need to get through the first two classes of the day and this meeting with Williams.
Standing outside the principal's office, I try to slow my breathing. My legs are shaking and my mind is too loud; there are too many thoughts all jumbled. I knock on the door, then wait for Williams to call out before I enter. Brave face, brave face, I repeat to myself.
“Take a seat, Huxley. Thanks for coming in.” Williams places his pen down and looks up at me with cold eyes.
“No problem, sir. Is something wrong?” I take a seat and tightly clasp my hands together in my lap, trying to anchor myself. I want to rock, but I need to hold it in.
“We need to revisit our previous conversation. It seems I didn’t make myself clear, and perhaps that’s my fault.
I should have been more specific. Yesterday, you sent Jake to see me because you believed he was being disruptive in class.
But I understand it was over the display of a rainbow flag in your classroom. Is this correct?”
My heart races so fast, I’m not sure I can get my words out. But I need to stand up for myself. “Yes, it is. I had a very small pride flag on my desk. I’ve removed it now. But I want to state that I don’t believe I’m doing anything wrong by displaying it.”
Williams nods his head in an exaggerated fashion.
“Your statement is noted, Mr. Sinclair. However, due to our code of conduct, as we previously discussed, wearing or displaying any item that informs students about your personal life is inappropriate. To make myself one hundred percent clear, please refrain from wearing or displaying anything on school grounds that shares details of your personal life. This should be the end of this matter.”
“Mr. Williams, just to be clear, if I were to get married to a man am I allowed to wear a wedding band to school?”
Williams squirms in his seat. “Um, yes, of course you can wear a wedding band.”
Taking a deep breath, I push forward. “I’m asking because I really can’t see the difference between wearing a pride pin or a wedding band. Both tell people about your personal life.”
“I see what you’re saying, Mr. Sinclair. But one tells a lot more, and in much greater detail. Marriage, on the other hand, is a God-sanctioned Christian tradition.”
My pulse thuds at my temples, but I’ve come this far. “And yet it wasn’t a tradition for all of us until very recently. And maybe that’s my point. Times have changed, Mr. Williams. I will follow your directive, but I don’t agree with your reasoning.”
I’m proud of myself for speaking the truth and sitting through this fucked up meeting I should never have been subjected to.
“Noted, Mr. Sinclair. Now, if there’s nothing else, I should get back to work.”
“There is one more thing,” I say, standing. Oliver’s face comes to mind, and I know he doesn’t want me to do this. “Was the original decision made based on Bob’s complaint? Or Jake’s?”
Williams’s eyes narrow. “Well, we had a complaint from Bob and another teacher, and from Jake and his father. I suspect there are many more faculty members and students who also believe keeping personal information out of the classroom is important. We are all here to engage and focus on the academic curriculum.”
“Certainly, sir. Have a nice day.” I turn and leave, anger threatening to tear me apart.