Chapter 4
Four
Hudson
I’m forced awake from my nap by the sensation of ants crawling on my skin. Fuck, I hate waking up like this. My anxiety’s been worse since I lied to Cull about the condom on Monday. It was a random thought that I ran with.
I thought it would steer things in the right direction, but mostly, it just made me feel like shit.
My phone buzzes next to me.
ELLA: You’ll be at Katie’s party tonight, right?
Crap. I forgot about that. The clock reads just after seven, so I have about forty-five minutes before Cull picks us up. He volunteered to be the designated driver tonight.
ME: Yeah, should be there a little after eight.
ELLA: Oh, thank god. I want to hang. Hadley has been a headache about Cullen lately.
She’s not wrong. Hadley hasn’t stopped griping about how much he’s changed. But it’s still not enough to get her to break up with him. Their toxic cycle keeps spinning.
My phone buzzes again, reminding me I haven’t replied to Ella.
UNKNOWN: I love the blue shirt you wore today.
Damn, this is the third message from this number today. It’s been weeks of flirty texts, and I’ve never responded. You’d think they’d get the hint. I block the number, then reply to Ella.
ME: Alright. See you there.
I toss my phone on the bed and stare at the ceiling. I don’t have the energy for a party, but my friends expect me to show up. No matter how I feel, the show must go on.
The mask has to stay on.
Grabbing some water and my meds, I swallow half a dose. It’s not the best move before drinking, but cutting off my anxiety is worth it.
Pulling a light blue polo from my closet, I tug it over my head along with the dark wash jeans I wore to school. With a run of my hand through my hair and a spritz of cologne, I call it good.
I shouldn’t care this much. It’s not like I want anyone’s attention tonight.
Except Cullen’s.
I growl, annoyed with myself for always craving the impossible.
Stomping down the stairs, I search for my shoes where I kicked them off earlier, but my stomach growls impatiently, so I detour to the kitchen. I slap together a sandwich, eat standing at the counter, and wash it down with a bottle of water.
With nerves still buzzing beneath my skin, I head back to the foyer to wait for Cullen.
Heavy clomping comes from behind me, so I glance back and nearly choke. Hadley is dressed to kill. Or at least give someone a non-fatal heart attack.
She’s squeezed into a hot pink, skin-tight microdress that looks uncomfortable as hell. Her matching sky-high heels could be used as weapons, and her hair is curled and fluffed to within an inch of its life.
Not to mention the layers of makeup.
Cullen will absolutely hate it.
She smiles until she catches my expression, then it drops.
“What’s with the hooker fit, Hads?”
She smirks as she digs into her tiny clutch. “I’m just giving Culley a reminder of what he’s got. He’s been moody and weird lately, so I figured a little reminder couldn’t hurt.”
I snort. “By dressing like an extra in Pretty Woman?”
She rolls her eyes, pulls out a sparkly lip gloss, and slicks it on her lips. “Desperate times, Hudson.”
Cullen will definitely have an opinion. He likes to see the person, not what they wear.
A loud honk comes from outside.
“Cull is here. Try not to twist an ankle.”
She ignores me, hands on her hips. “Can’t the idiot be a freaking gentleman and at least come to the door?”
“Wouldn't that set women’s equality back a few years, Hads?” I deadpan, making my way out onto the front porch.
She stomps her foot before storming out behind me.
I open the back door of Cullen’s truck and climb in. “What's up?” I greet, raising my fist. He bumps me back with a lazy “sup”, then gives me a once-over, emerald eyes flicking from head to toe, lingering on my shirt just a second too long before darting away.
Did Cullen just check me out?
No. Don’t be stupid. That’s just desperation clawing at the edges of my brain. I shift in my seat, trying to ignore the flush creeping up my neck.
The front passenger door swings open, slamming shut with a thud as Hadley climbs in. “Hi, baby,” she sings, batting her lashes.
Cullen’s eyes narrow as he takes in her outfit, his nose scrunching. “What are you wearing?”
“It’s called a dress, Culley.”
He scoffs. “I know what it is, but why are you wearing it? It’s not your usual style.” He’s frowning, scanning her up and down.
“Let’s call it easy access,” she smirks.
“Hads, you’re prettier without all that crap. No way am I showing up at a party with you dressed like that.”
Hadley holds Cullen’s glare, not flinching once. “Okay.” Her voice is nonchalant, but I can hear the calculation in it. “I’ll just walk then. I need to break in my heels anyway.”
She swings the door open and starts to get out of the truck. Cullen curses low under his breath and grabs her wrist.
“Fine. Just… get in.”
She smiles in victory, clicking her seatbelt into place. “I knew you’d see it my way, Culley.”
Cull’s jaw tightens so hard I swear I can hear his molars grinding. He throws the truck into drive and peels away from the curb, heading straight for Katie’s house. I sink into the seat, wishing I could disappear before this night even starts.
***
Cull and I are posted up in the kitchen with a few guys from our soccer team, hanging out for the first time since our season ended. The party’s loud and chaotic, but this is the only room you can hear yourself think in.
And it has the booze.
The low buzz hasn’t left my stomach, so I’ve been nursing it with tequila.
Cullen keeps cutting glances my way, not loving how hard I’m going with the bottle.
He’s deep in conversation with Archer, talking about our odds of making the Ashbridge soccer team next fall, so I take the chance to drink him in.
Fuck, he’s beautiful.
His wavy brown hair is perfectly messy, his fitted black Henley hugs his arms just right, and the ripped jeans and beat-up Converse complete the look.
“What are you staring at?” he asks, cocking a brown brow.
I shake myself, face heating from being caught. “Nothing. Sorry. Just thinking about that quiz in A&P. Pretty sure I bombed it.”
His eyes narrow, not buying it. He knows I’ve got an A in that class. Well, in all my classes, actually.
Before he can press, Hadley appears, sliding her arms around his waist. “Come dance with me, Culley.”
He gives me one more look, eyes flicking to the bottle in my hand. “Go easy on the tequila, okay?”
Hadley drags him away, squeezing between grinding bodies and planting her ass against his crotch. Cull nuzzles into her neck, his hands caressing up her thighs.
I can’t fucking stand it.
I chug the tequila, vision blurring for reasons that aren’t solely alcohol.
“She doesn’t fucking deserve him,” I mumble.
“It’s sorta sad, isn’t it?”
I jump, spinning around to see Ella staring at them, too.
“Shit, girl. I’m not buzzed enough for you to be sneaking up on me like that.”
She giggles. “Sorry.”
I bring the bottle to my lips, but it’s empty. Sighing, I set it down on the counter and look around for something else to drown in.
My eyes meet my buddy, Matt, who is holding two red plastic cups. He smiles and lifts his arm to hand me one, but Ella drags me out of the kitchen before I can take it.
“Come with me.” Ella links our fingers, leading me out into the humid night air. We walk down the driveway, past couples making out in the shadows of the treeline and other party stragglers. She guides us down the street until she comes to a stop on the cul-de-sac.
She drops down on the curb and starts rummaging through her purse. “Aha!” She pulls out a small baggie and dangles it between us. It looks like there are four or five neatly rolled joints inside. “Care to spark up with me?” she asks, flashing a wide, mischievous grin.
I eye the baggie. I’ve never known Ella to do drugs, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I’ve only tried weed once and never while drinking.
I’ve heard the cross buzz can be brutal, but…
fuck it. That anxious hum hasn’t left my skin since we got here, and this feels like the perfect thing to shut it off completely.
Ella takes my hand and pulls me down next to her on the curb. She lets go and pats my thigh before lighting up the joint and taking a deep inhale. She holds her breath like she’s training for the Olympics before letting it out with a soft groan. White wisps leave her mouth and dance in the air.
She passes me the joint, and I take it, bringing it to my lips and taking a tentative inhale. The acrid smoke hits the back of my throat, and I immediately hack up a lung.
“Amateur.” She giggles, then plucks it from my hand and takes another long drag.
“Weed isn’t typically my thing. Sue me,” I grumble, voice still a little choked. “Besides, when did you become so accomplished in the matter?”
I’ve known her since we were babies. Our parents have been best friends forever, and after all the family dinners and trips, I never took Ella for the type to light up.
She shrugs, a sly smile tugging her lips. “I’m a woman of mystery.”
I chuckle and motion for her to pass the joint back. I take a deeper hit this time and manage to hold it in my lungs for a few seconds before choking it back up. Ella shakes her head at me, amused, then starts to rummage in her bag again.
“Here.” She hands me a pint of tequila. “If you can’t handle the J, maybe you can at least enjoy this.”
“Damn, girl. What kind of dispensary are you running out of that bag?”
“A girl can’t share all her secrets.” She winks and tosses her long black hair over her shoulder.
I take the bottle, twist off the cap, and chug.
Ella gives me a playful side-eye. “Wanna talk about it?”
I sigh and use the back of my arm to wipe my mouth. “They annoy me.”
“Hadley and Cullen?” she asks, exhaling another cloud of smoke.
“Yeah.” I nod, the motion making the world spinny. I blink, trying to bring it back into focus. “They just… suck.”
Ella chuckles. “They do tend to bring out the worst in each other.”
Understatement of the century.
“Can you keep a secret?” I slur. Damn. That joint took me from zero to a hundred quick.
She nudges my shoulder, her brown eyes twinkling in the moonlight. “Depends. Are we covering up a murder?”
I laugh and shake my head. “No. No murders.”
“Good. Because I’d help hide the body, but if the cops come asking, I’m throwing you under the bus.”
I nudge her back. “Noted.”
“So, what’s the secret?” She snags the tequila from my hand and takes a swig.
I lean back on my hands and stare up at the moon, its brightness kind of insulting. “I wish they’d break up.”
Ella tilts her head, smile twitching after a strange pause. “That’s the big secret?”
I frown, unsure why she hesitated.
She scoffs and turns to face me fully. “Come on, Hud. That’s your twin and your best friend. Of course you want what’s best for them. And anyway, everyone’s rooting for them to split. Their fights are exhausting.” She lights another joint and offers it to me.
I take it without hesitation, way past the point of caring how wrecked I already am. “I didn’t know I was so transparent.” I take a long drag and manage to hold it, barely, and exhale slowly.
“You’d be surprised what I can see.”
I’m too drunk to care what that means, so I don’t reply.
We fall into a comfortable silence, passing the tequila and the joint back and forth. The numbness starts to settle into my limbs, heavy and warm, like I’m wrapped in a weighted blanket. I feel like I can breathe again.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Ella chirps. “Feel like playing a little joke?”
I side-eye her, my mind hazy. I’m drunk enough to agree to just about anything right now. “I’m game. What do you have in mind?”
Her eyes sparkle with something a little too bright. “Do you think Cull left his truck unlocked?”
That feels like a red flag. But I’m high, drunk, and everything’s starting to feel kind of nice, so… whatever.
“Only one way to find out.”