Chapter 5
Five
Cullen
I’m sitting out back, taking a much-needed breather from the stifling party. A hundred drunk and horny teens packed into a living room loses its appeal fast. Especially when you’re the sober one. I don’t mind being the DD, but with the way my head’s been lately, a drink or two couldn’t hurt.
I slipped out the back door about half an hour ago while Hadley was busy talking to Maggie.
I just needed space from her and the bass shaking the walls.
I did a quick search around the house, hoping Hud would come hang with me.
On my second pass, Archer stopped me and told me that he saw Ella and Hud walk out front together.
That made my chest tighten, which only added to my need for air.
Everything’s been off lately—Hadley and I are fighting more, and Hudson was throwing back tequila like it was water.
The vibe tonight just isn’t right, and it started when he got into my truck earlier.
I couldn’t stop my eyes from roaming over him from head to toe.
It stirred something in me, and it’s on the cusp of breaking free.
Am I jealous? Maybe. Hudson and Ella hang out a lot, but not usually alone. They can be flirty, but Hud always claims he doesn’t have time for girls, that school and soccer are his focus. That’s fair. Other than Hadley, no one at school has ever caught my attention either.
But Hudson has.
I blow out a heavy breath, the thought not as foreign as it should be.
Loud giggling and a deep snort cut through the night. I twist around in the white Adirondack chair I’ve been slouched in and spot Ella dragging a clearly wasted Hudson around the house. He’s practically hanging off her, face too close to her neck.
My teeth grind, and my hands curl into fists.
Yup. Definitely jealous.
“There’s my bfff… ff… fff,” Hudson slurs in an exaggerated southern twang. His country accent amplifies when he is drinking, and it's kind of cute.
I rub my hands down my face, then get up and walk over to where Ella is struggling to keep Hudson upright. “You alright, man?” I chuckle, trying to mask my unease. “How many of me do you see?”
My eyes keep darting to where they’re wrapped around each other, my fists tensing with every point of contact I find. Ella is glaring at me like she can singe my eyebrows off if she stares long enough.
Hudson squints at me in concentration. “Notsosure. You look like a lava lamp or something. There are two of you kind of smooshing together back and forth,” he slurs.
Damn. He’s really hammered.
I reach out and peel him off Ella, unable to stomach their closeness any longer. “I got it from here.”
She frowns, then quickly plasters on a grin. “Oh, thank you. He was getting heavy. Didn’t want to take him back inside with the bass so loud.”
Her excuse sounds thin, but I don’t care enough to probe further.
Hud wraps his arms around me in a big bear hug. My body lights up like a switchboard with excited tingles I shouldn’t feel.
A strong, skunky aroma clings to him, making me scrunch my nose. “Dude, did you smoke?”
He giggles, soft and goofy, nuzzling his nose into my neck. His warm, alcohol infused breath skates across my skin, raising goosebumps. “Only a couple of joints,” he murmurs.
“You smell like the bathroom at a frat party,” I grumble, frowning. I’ve never been a fan of weed or drugs. The idea of getting hooked on them actually scares me.
I shoot a glare at Ella, who isn’t as trashed but looks guilty. “Did you give it to him?” The words come out harsher than I mean.
“Relax,” she says, waving me off. “It’s just a little weed. He’ll sleep like a baby and be fine tomorrow.”
Hudson nuzzles further into my neck and takes a deep breath. “You don’t stink. You smell like evergreen trees and happiness.” He sighs, the sound shaky. “I’ll never get to be happy.”
He goes quiet but doesn't move from my neck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hud this wasted before, and it makes me wonder if smoking and drinking are all he’s done tonight.
“I think it’s time we get you home.” I shift his weight and start guiding us around the house.
“If you’re leaving, want me to go grab Hadley for you?” Ella’s peering through the French doors. “She’s looking pretty cozy with Bryan Stokes.”
Through the glass, I see Hadley backed up on some guy, his hands sliding along her sides.
I wait for the jealousy to hit, but… nothing—just complete annoyance.
“Ohhhh, Bryannnnn,” Hudson drawls. “Dude’s in college at Cten-cten-ctentral State, right? I mean… Central Sk-skate.” He laughs at himself. “College somewhere. Good-looking guy. Not my type, though.”
His lips brush my neck, right over my Adam’s apple. My whole body stiffens.
And so does my dick.
I don’t know what the fuck is going on with all these thoughts about Hudson, but my body seems to be leading the charge.
Maybe mercury is in the microwave or whatever astrologists claim, and that’s why everything is going sideways lately.
“Cullen, want me to go tell her you’re ready to go?” Ella’s voice snaps me out of it.
“I’ll grab her on my way through the house. Thanks,” I ground out. There is a soft snore in my ear, and I realize Hud has passed out.
As much as I don’t want Ella’s help, there is no way I can get Hudson to my truck with him like this. “Ella, will you—”
She steps up before I can finish asking, and loops her arm around Hud’s waist. We carefully maneuver through the French doors and back into the chaotic mass of people.
We walk right up to Hadley, who locks eyes with me, zero fucks to give that I’m standing right there. She turns in Bryan’s hold, and without losing eye contact with me, leans up and kisses him on the jaw.
He gives her a panty-melting smile before steering her in my direction, then walking away.
Hadley approaches me, her face impassive. I’m grinding my teeth to dust. It’s always a game with her.
“Let's go,” I snap when she makes it to my side.
“Culley, I’m sorry you saw that,” she starts, but I cut in.
“I don’t give a shit, Hadley. Your brother is my concern right now. He’s beyond fucked up.”
She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. “He’ll be fine. He just drank too much.”
I shoot her a glare, but she has her focus on Hudson, who is looking worse for wear. He’s pale, and his breathing seems a little shallow.
Shit.
I start moving us towards the front door. “What has he had tonight?” I ask, trying to keep the alarm out of my voice. We shuffle our way out of the house towards my truck, the deep bass of the party fading behind us.
“He had some tequila and a few drags of weed. It’s only a cross buzz. You’re overreacting.” Ella grunts with the effort of helping me carry Hud.
“Stop being so dramatic, Culley. He obviously had a good time. Something you should learn to do,” Hadley snarks, coming to a stop next to my truck.
Am I in the Twilight Zone? Why am I the only one who seems to give a shit about Hud?
I try to open the back door, but he starts to slip from my hold. “A little help would be nice, Hads,” I grit out.
She rolls her eyes, yanks open the back door, and dramatically flourishes her hand like a game show host. With Ella’s help, we get Hud situated in the back seat on his side in case he gets sick.
Hadley opens the passenger door but pauses.
She sniffs the air, then whirls on me so fast, you'd think she was The Flash.
She shoves a sharp finger in my chest, then slaps me with her other hand.
“Who in the fuck have you had in your truck? Is this where you disappeared to? Are you screwing someone behind my back?”
She fires off questions like bullets, each one rising in volume until she is screaming into the quiet night. I’m so stunned that I just stand there, mouth hanging open.
Where in the hell did she get the idea I was cheating on her?
The wind shifts, carrying something sweet and unfamiliar from the truck. Hadley’s still staring, waiting for an explanation I don’t have.
“I think I’m going to go back to the party. Later, guys.” Ella sneaks off, leaving me alone with a furious Hadley.
She shoves me hard. “Who is she?”
“There is no she,” I bark, my patience paper-thin.
“Then why does it smell like some girl fogged up the cab with her perfume?”
“I have no idea why the truck smells that way, but you have no right to point fingers.”
She crosses her arms, blue eyes a blaze of fire. “You left me alone, and I wanted to dance. Bryan was available.”
Is she serious right now?
“You don’t think that’s disrespectful?”
“Not if you’ve had some other slut out here. You were gone for a suspiciously long time, Cullen.”
I run my fingers through my hair, pacing in front of Hadley, and then it hits me like a baseball bat to the gut. “Hud and Ella were hanging out tonight. Maybe they…”
Hadley scoffs. “Don’t use them as scapegoats.”
“You know what? I’m done with this conversation.” I walk around the truck and slide into the driver's seat, slamming the door.
Hadley glares at me from the open passenger side. “I’ll let my mom know I’m staying with Katie tonight. Think really hard about your next move, Cullen.” Then she stomps off across the yard and back into the party.
I let my head fall against the seat, a headache pulsing behind my eyes.
“Cull?” Hud’s voice is weak and slurred.
I glance in the rearview. “I’m here, Hud.”
“I don’t feel good.” His skin’s pale, sweat beading on his forehead. His breathing is still shallow, but better.
“I’m taking you home. We’ll be there soon,” I tell him, then throw my truck into drive.
Getting Hud home is my top priority.
***
Pulling up to Hudson’s house, all the lights are off. Hopefully, that means I can get him to bed without his parents catching on. They might be alright with drinking, but if they see him like this, they’ll likely flip their shit. I know mine would.
Thankfully, Hudson’s coherent enough to help me get him out of the truck and up the front steps.
He sways unsteadily beside me, leaning against my side for support while I crouch down to grab the hide-a-key from under the same potted plant it’s been under since we were kids.
Once I unlock the door, he drapes an arm over my shoulder again, his weight oddly comforting.
Hudson lifts his head from where it was lolling on my shoulder. “Wherearewe?” his words coming out in a slurred string.
“Your house. Let’s get you up to your bedroom.”
He starts to nod off again, so I give him a light smack on the cheek. His eyes snap open comically wide before going lazy again.
“Come on, man. Help me out here.”
He nuzzles his face to my neck like he did back at the party and takes a sniff. “You smell like evergreen trees and happiness.”
“You already told me that tonight, so it must be a good thing,” I chuckle.
“It’s the best thing,” he mumbles.
I smile, warmth spreading in my chest. Carefully, I guide Hudson up the wooden stairs to the landing outside his bedroom.
“You know I have a secret, Cull?”
I give him some side-eye and wait to see where this is going.
“But I can’t tell you. It would ruineverything...” His words melt together.
“Hud, you’re speaking in cursive.”
“Justaswell. Lots of secrets, but necessary. I don’t like not getting out of bed.” His head is resting on my shoulder, eyes closed as we approach his open bedroom door.
“I don’t know about you, but I love my bed. I’d never leave if I didn’t have to,” I joke.
“My brain doesn’t work. Don’t hate me because I love you.”
“I’m sure it's the booze talking, but no matter what, I’d never hate you.”
I shuffle him to his unmade bed and basically drop him. He lands face-down, limbs sprawled out like one of those old-school chalk outlines at a crime scene.
“I’m going to get your shoes and jeans off so you’re a little more comfortable, okay?” He gives me a half-hearted thumbs up, rolling only his lower half so I can undress him.
“This isn’t how I pictured you getting me naked one day,” he mumbles into his pillow.
I freeze, my hand on the button of his jeans.
“What?”
Snores. That’s all I get—soft, steady snores. Hudson’s out like a light, and I’m left trying to decide if I heard him right—or if I just want to believe I did.
I chalk it up to drunk ramblings, but then the phrase drunken words are sober thoughts creeps in. It only adds to the mess my head has been lately.
There’s something itching at the back of my brain. Something I’ve been avoiding. But maybe it’s time I stop pushing it away and face it head-on.
Breathing out some of my anxiety, I finish getting Hud’s jeans off and toss them on the end of his bed.
He’s lying on top of his blue comforter, so I grab a soft blanket from where it rests on the trunk at the end of his bed and toss it over him.
He has a water bottle next to his bed already, so I grab some Tylenol from his bathroom and leave them on his bedside table for tomorrow.
I give him a last cursory glance, then turn off the lights in his room and shut the door.
I quietly make it down the stairs and back out to my truck. I get in, crank it up, and let it idle for a moment. There are a lot of things I need to start sorting through. Things with Hadley are getting worse by the day, and there is a pull in my chest that I can’t ignore anymore.
I’m scared to name what any of this means. But maybe tomorrow… I’ll stop running from it.