Chapter Seventeen
Seventeen
Cullen
It’s been one hell of a week. Thankfully, Hudson came back to school yesterday. He’s not one hundred percent, but he’s miles better than what I walked in on Tuesday morning. Most people wouldn’t notice a difference, but now I know what to look for.
Seeing him struggle the way he did broke my heart, and the urge to take care of him has been all-consuming since I held him while he cried. My feelings for him hit hard and fast, and I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that he’s now dating Ella.
Hud didn’t even have one foot out of his car yesterday before she attached herself like Velcro.
She’s taken every opportunity to make sure people know they’re together now.
The reaction has mostly been confusion from our friend group, while a few others are just glad “Hud is finally getting his dick wet.”
I’m not too excited about that last part.
Matt and Archer both thought it was weird; they said as much to me without Hudson hearing. At least I’m not the only one who feels that way.
Just seeing her so close to Hudson makes my skin crawl, and I’ve had to fight the urge to stake my claim on him. I halfway considered peeing on him like a dog marking a fire hydrant, but I’m not sure how he feels about golden showers.
We were all sitting around the lunch table today, talking about nothing in particular, when Hadley had the bright idea for us to go on a double date tonight. Ella was immediately on board, but Hud looked like he was just convicted of a crime he didn't commit.
I’m sure I looked much the same way.
Which brings me to now, sitting in tense silence next to Hadley, outside the new steakhouse in town. I’m counting down the seconds, waiting for Ella and Hud to show.
“Are you going to ignore me all night?” Hadley huffs beside me.
I grit my teeth, trying not to be an ass. This date completely derailed my plan to break up with her tonight. My mind was already made up, and now I’m wishing I had said no to this date and just cut the cord.
“I don’t have anything to say.”
She scoffs. “Maybe I need to find someone who is interested in a real conversation.”
Okay. I’m done. Fuck this double date shit.
I jump up from the bench. “You know what Hadley—”
“Are we interrupting?”
Fuck my life.
I whirl around, my mouth going dry when I see Hud and Ella standing there, hand in hand. My eyes itch to drag down his body, but I force them to stay put on his face.
Face is safe. Face doesn’t make me lose my damn mind.
Lies.
Doesn’t mean I don’t clock the navy button-down that’s cuffed around his biceps, or the distressed jeans hanging low on his hips. His perfectly tousled faux hawk is shorter than it was at school today, so he must have gotten a cut this afternoon.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him how hot he looks, but I bite it back before I make a fool of myself.
“Hey,” he greets, his raspy voice only adding to his sex appeal. “Everything alright?”
I shove the image of Hudson’s clothes hitting my bedroom floor out of my mind before I end up with a hard-on I can’t hide.
“Everything is great.” My voice is tight, short.
Hudson can tell I’m full of shit, but he doesn’t point it out.
“Ready to go in?” He asks, trying to ease the awkward tension.
Hadley gets up without acknowledging anyone and walks ahead of us into the restaurant. I sigh and give both Ella and Hudson an apologetic look. He just shrugs, used to his sister’s attitude, and Ella seems off in her own little world, just happy to be on Hudson’s arm.
Inside, we find Hadley at the hostess stand, chatting with the girl behind the podium. The hostess asks if we’re all together, then leads us to a corner booth big enough to seat four more people. She drops off the menus and leaves us in silence.
“So, the trip to the mountains next week will be awesome. I got this new bikini…” Ella continues to talk without taking a breath, pulling Hadley into a conversation about our trip next week.
Thankfully, it breaks the weird vibe, and it lets Hud and me slip into our usual easy rhythm. Unfortunately, I’m only partially tuned in. My focus is split between the girl I’m ready to break up with and the guy I desperately want more than anything.
By the time dinner is over, I’m mentally wrung out and ready to talk to Hads. But instead of ending the night here, the girls make the decision for us all to go next door and grab ice cream, which annoys me further.
We all get our scoops and sit outside at a worn picnic table, the girls on one side and Hud and me on the other. It’s not a particularly big bench, so our thighs end up brushing.
Even through our jeans, I can feel the warmth radiating off him. Goosebumps rise on my arms from his nearness, his cologne catching on the breeze and wrapping around me. It’s a little different from his usual smoky-sweet scent, with a new citrusy note layered in. It’s intoxicating.
My eyes catch on his pink tongue as he licks his ice cream. Just like that day on my front porch, it sends a jolt straight to my dick.
Yeah… time to go.
I’m just about to tell Hadley I’m ready to leave when Katie and Maggie stroll up to the ice cream shop. Hadley springs to her feet, grabbing Ella’s hand, and drags her over to her friends. After they chit-chat for a few minutes, Hadley saunters back to the table to grab her phone.
“Culley, I’m catching a ride with Maggie and Katie. I invited Ella, but she said she needs to get home.”
Well, so much for breaking up with Hadley tonight. I grind my teeth, irritated that I can’t get the timing right to end things.
“Where are you going?” I ask, only caring because Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum aren’t the most reliable friends.
She doesn’t even bother looking at me. “Policing where I go now, Cullen?” Her voice is flat, but I can hear the bite behind it.
I exhale through my nose and shake my head. “Honestly? I don’t give a fuck what you do, Hadley.”
Her jaw drops, her cheeks flushing red. “What’s with the attitude tonight?” She turns fully, like she’s ready for a fight.
Looks like the right timing is now. I’ve been on edge all afternoon, and I’m done putting this off. Screw trying to be nice and do this privately.
Her girls flank her like bodyguards, ready to jump in, while Ella hangs back, looking unsure. I get up from the table and toss my forgotten ice cream in the trash. Hudson follows but stops in a neutral spot between us, not taking sides. At least, not yet.
“The attitude? It’s from years of being put on your back burner. From being gaslit, belittled, and physically assaulted by you. Twice.”
She scoffs and rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t deny it. Good, because I’m on a roll now and I’m not stopping.
“You’ve accused me of cheating, of not being a good enough boyfriend.
You’ve put those two toxic bitches you call friends before me at every turn.
News flash. They’re going to dump you the second a shinier queen bee shows up in college.
There’s a reason neither of them wanted to room with you.
You only think of yourself and have used me as a trophy boyfriend for far too long.
But guess what. I’m done. We’re done.” I’m breathing hard by the time I finish my rant, but a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
The silence surrounding the group is deafening, and everyone’s faces are frozen in shock.
Hadley’s face goes from angry to devastated as the realization sinks in.
Her chin starts to quiver, and the first traces of tears start to form in her bright blue eyes.
Hudson inches closer to his sister, but looks at me, unsure who to comfort.
I give him a small nod to go to Hadley.
He gives me a grateful look, then walks over to his twin, rubbing her back to comfort her.
“You’re breaking up with me?” Hadley asks through her tears, testing the words as if trying to make sense of them.
Of course, she didn’t think this would happen.
“Yeah. I am.”
“Is there someone else?”
I fight as hard as I can to keep my eyes from flicking to Hudson.
“No.”
Tears stream down her face as she steps up to me, inches separating us.
“I hate you,” she whispers, then turns and buries her face in Hudson’s chest. He wraps his strong arms around her as she quietly cries, whispering something soft I can’t hear.
My eyes meet Hud’s one more time, full of sadness for his sister, and maybe a little for me, too. I give him a tight smile, then walk across the parking lot back to my truck. I get in and sit for a minute, watching Hadley still clinging to Hudson.
My heart seizes, and my own tear slides down my cheek. I can’t breathe. It’s all too much.
I need to get out of here.
It hurts too much, watching my ex crumble in the arms of my best friend, who will never love me.
Cranking my truck, I haul out of the parking lot.
***
Hudson
My eyes follow Cull as he walks away, Hadley still crying into my chest. His shoulders are slumped, head hanging low, and it guts me to see him like that.
You’d think I’d be ecstatic right now. I wanted nothing more than for them to split, but now that it’s happened, my heart is breaking right along with theirs.
Ella comes up behind Hadley and starts to rub her back, producing a tissue like magic. She pulls back from me, taking the tissue with a grateful smile.
“I should have seen this coming,” she cries, voice hitching. “He’s been pulling away from me lately. It was like a switch flipped, and suddenly my Culley wasn’t there anymore.”
She sniffles, trying to wipe away the streaks of mascara on her cheeks. Her two girls just stand there, offering nothing. No hug, no words, not even a hand on her shoulder. Hadley notices, but doesn’t say anything.
“I’m sure it’s hard,” Ella consoles, “but you two were going off to different colleges. Did you really want to be tied down and miss out on the college experience? Maybe he did you a favor.” She finishes with a shrug, casual like it’s no big deal.
Hadley turns and pulls her into a hug. “Thanks.”
Ella gives me a wink, like she just offered Hadley the solution to all her problems.
“You okay, Hads?” I ask.
My sister turns back to me with a sad smile. “No. But I will be.”
“Let’s get going, Hadley. You need to fix your makeup before we go to the party,” Katie calls from where she’s standing.
I glare at Katie. What is wrong with these two? Their best friend just got dumped, and they don’t give two shits. Cullen was right about both of them. They’ll drop her the second it’s convenient.
“Let me take you home, Hads. A party might not be the best place to go right now.”
She pulls a mirror from her purse and starts fussing with her face. “I think the distraction will be good. Besides, Mom already knows I’m staying with Katie tonight.” She puts the mirror away, then wraps her arms around me. “Thank you for being the best brother. Love you, Hud.”
Shame covers me like a shroud. I’m not worthy of my sister's gratitude. I did a couple of shitty things that helped lead to this breakup.
I keep my face neutral so she won’t see the guilt creeping in, and press a kiss to the top of her head. “Love you too. Be safe tonight. And don’t make any emotional decisions.”
She gives Ella and me a small wave and another sad smile before heading off toward Katie’s car.
Ella grabs my hand and laces our fingers together, dragging me toward my Bronco. Neither of us speaks as we climb in.
We’re quiet as I drive us towards Ella’s house, her boisterous laugh suddenly cutting through the silence. “Well, that was a weird turn of events.”
“It was…” I trail off, eyes on the road. “But why are you laughing?”
“It’s just funny.” She shrugs, still giggling. “You were complaining at the party about wanting them to break up, and now the universe comes along and grants your wish.”
If that’s the case, the universe only granted half my wish. It’s not like Cullen broke up with my sister and declared his undying love for me.
Now that would’ve been a weird turn of events.
I pull into her driveway and turn in my seat. “Thanks for being my fake date tonight.”
She leans over and kisses my cheek. “I had fun. Even with all the drama.”
Yeah. It wasn’t fun for me.
As much as I want to shove Cullen back into the best friend box where he belongs, I’m having a hard time doing it. I can’t stop thinking about Tuesday and how he pulled me out of my depression like it was second nature. The love and care he showed me that day… it was exactly what my soul needed.
Tonight, all I could think about was that moment when our eyes locked in my bedroom. For just a fraction of a second, I thought I saw something in his expression.
Longing, maybe.
But it was just my mind playing tricks on me.
“I’ll see you early Monday morning, right?”
I blink, snapping out of the memory. Ella is looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.
“Sorry, I spaced for a second. Monday?”
“Yeah… the lake trip?”
Ah. Yeah, that’s going to be interesting now that Hadley and Cull have split.
“Right. Be ready by 6:30 a.m.. We’ve got to pick up Cull, too, then meet everyone at the diner for breakfast before we caravan to the mountains.”
“Great! Thanks for the free dinner.” She winks, then gets out of the car.
I wait until she’s safely inside before backing out of the driveway and heading toward Cull’s house. I need to check on him, just to make sure he’s alright. I reach for my phone to give him a call, and notice a missed text from him. It was sent just a couple of minutes ago.
CULL: You still out with Ella?
ME: Just dropped her off. Wanna hang?
CULL: Meet me at the river?
ME: There in fifteen
CULL: Right behind you
A small smile tugs at my lips. Any time with Cullen feels like a win, even if it’s my turn to offer some support. It’s the least I can do after what he did for me on Tuesday.
And I want to.
An idea pops into my head. It might be silly, but I think Cull will appreciate it.
I stop at the first dollar store I come across and run in to grab the few things I need. I’m in and out in under two minutes before I’m back on the road, headed to my favorite place, at my favorite time of day, to see my absolute favorite person.
There may be some salvaging this night yet.