Chapter Thirty-Six
Thirty-Six
Hudson
The party at Matt’s is in full swing by the time Cullen and I walk through the door. After I picked him up, we grabbed a quick dinner so we wouldn’t be drinking on empty stomachs. Matt invited a few of us to crash after the party, which means neither of us has to drive, and we can let loose.
“Start us off, Hud,” Archer urges, grinning over the rim of his red plastic cup.
Six of us are sitting around the dining table shooting the shit.
The rest of the house is packed wall to wall with people dancing and grinding, all while the music vibrates through the floorboards.
Someone decided we weren’t drunk enough, so Cullen suggested a drinking game.
I usually dodge this game, never wanting to risk exposing my closeted inexperience.
But now? The cards are on the table, figuratively speaking, and I’m kind of excited.
“Anything goes?” I ask, wanting to be sure we’re not holding back. I know I’m setting myself up for some embarrassing confessions, but these guys have been my closest friends for years. I’m not worried about being judged.
“Yup. Anything goes, babe,” Cullen confirms, his arm slung across the back of my chair, fingers grazing my shoulder.
I’d been hesitant to show affection when we first got here, but Cull ripped the Band-Aid off, kissing me stupid in the middle of the living room.
No one blinked an eye, and that put me at ease.
“Alright,” I say, smirking. “Never have I ever been pantsed during a championship game.”
Cullen gapes at me. “Seriously? Attacking me first?”
“You were easy pickings. Just drink.” I’m laughing hard, remembering Cull running around the goalie box, shorts around his knees, trying to keep the ball from entering our net.
He gives me a look that promises payback, then tips his cup back. “Fine. Never have I ever projectile puked on a referee.”
The whole table bursts out laughing.
“Hardy har har,” I snark. “I chugged a sports drink at halftime, and it didn’t mix with all the running.”
They’re still laughing. Honestly, even I can admit it’s kind of funny now. That ref had it out for us anyway, so maybe it was his karma.
I take a long sip of my beer and wait for the next round.
We go around the table, roasting each other with every question. The buzz I’ve got going feels warm and easy.
The game circles back to Matt. “Never have I ever taken it up the ass. And I ask that with all the bro-love and respect in the world,” he adds, pointing between Cullen, Archer, and me with a crooked grin.
I snort, just buzzed enough not to care. I take a drink and raise an eyebrow at Matt like, that’s all you’ve got?, while Archer drains his entire cup.
Everyone just stares at Archer, amused.
“What? I like getting fucked.” He shrugs unapologetically.
Same, my dude. Same.
All eyes swivel to Cull, waiting to see what he’ll do.
“Do fingers count?” he asks. “We haven’t gotten the chance to switch things up yet.”
My eyebrows fly to my hairline, cracking up at his blunt honesty.
Matt points his cup at Cullen. “Fingers are a whole different category. I’ll let a girl shove as many as she wants up there as long as she hits that magic button.”
“Hear, hear!” Cull laughs, raising his cup. “Didn’t know how good that shit would feel, but hot damn. It’s truly magical. And FYI,” he adds, pointing to our straight friends at the table, “that’s not just for guys in same-sex relationships. Find a girl willing to try it. It’ll change your life.”
A few of the guys chuckle. Others look like they might be down to find out for themselves.
We’re just starting to get back into the game when Hadley and Ella walk in. Hadley’s wobbling in her heels, Ella trailing behind her with bloodshot eyes and a too-wide smile. I know that look. She’s got something more than alcohol running through her system.
“Neverrr-have-I-everrr,” Hadley slurs, “been betrayed by my twin brother so he could fuck my boyfriend behind my back.”
Cullen tenses beside me. I grip the edge of the table, trying to keep my expression neutral, but my whole body’s gone cold. The good vibe shatters like a glass on tile.
Hadley’s eyes are glassy, her stare locked on Cullen and me. She waits, daring us to take a drink.
“Oh, wait, that was me,” she giggles after a tense beat of silence, chugging whatever she has left in her cup.
Cullen sighs. “Hadley, we didn’t tell you out of respect. We didn’t want to hurt you.”
She snorts, grabs Archer’s drink, and downs it. “Oo-oops,” she hiccups, blinking slowly. “Shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want gay germs.”
Did she really just—
“What the fuck, Hadley?” I shoot to my feet, my chair toppling backward. I march around the table, snatch the empty cup from her, and shove it back at Archer. “That’s out of line. Be pissed at us all you want, but don’t disrespect Archer.”
Her eyes focus, zeroing in on me. “You know what’s really out of line? You screwing with my relationship with Cullen.”
My body goes still, like I can stop this from unraveling further if I just don’t move.
“Surprised, huh?” she sneers, eyes glittering with hatred. Her lips wobble, but she covers it by grabbing Ella’s cup and taking a sip. “Yeah, me too. Got an anonymous text today telling me to ask Ella what happened. She didn’t want to admit anything, but I made her.”
I glance at Ella. She won’t meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, Hudson,” she whispers. “She begged.”
“It’s fine,” I reassure her. “I dragged you into it.”
“Perfect fucking Hudson,” Hadley spits, her voice cracking. She stumbles a little as she steps into my space. The fury radiating off her is enough to make my pulse jump.
My gut tightens.
In the corner of my eye, I see Cullen rise. He rounds the table and steps beside me, slipping his arm around my waist. His touch settles me.
Hadley tracks the movement, and it’s all she needs to explode.
“Perfect Hudson with his straight A’s, and captain of the soccer team.
” She laughs, but it’s an ugly, broken sound.
“You’re Mom and Dad’s favorite, you know that?
” she mocks. “They never say shit when you slack off, but the second I forget something, they’re all over me.
You got the better SAT score, the better college, the damn full ride.
You never get in trouble… You’re up on some pedestal I’ll never reach.
You have everything, Hudson.” Her voice waivers on my name, and for a second her eyes glisten before she blinks hard, forcing the tears back.
She collects herself, her words sharpening, each one coming out like a dagger.
“And because you’re a selfish asshole, you decided to become a homo and wreck my relationship.
All so you could steal my boyfriend, screw with his head, and make him believe he’s something he’s not.
” Her eyes widen, like she realized what she said just a second too late.
“Shut the fuck up, Hadley.” Cullen steps in front of me, forcing her to back off. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. And if you remember, I tried to tell you I was bi when we were sixteen. You were homophobic then, and you’re homophobic now.”
Hadley stands there, glassy-eyed glare aimed at Cull. Her bottom lip trembles, betraying her anger.
I’m still trying to breathe, still bleeding from every word she just flung like blades. It’s like the walls around me shrink, inch by inch, closing in.
Hadley scoffs and plants a shaking hand on her hip.
“Oh, really? We both know you don’t actually want to be with Hudson.
” She flicks her fingers at me like I’m something disposable.
Then she leans in, dragging a pink-tipped fingernail up Cullen’s shirt before planting both hands against his chest. “I know what this is about. You’re just trying to make me jealous.
You can bend me over right now, Cullen. I’ll let you.
Right in front of everyone. I know you weren’t satisfied sexually with me, but I was shy.
But if it’s adventure you want—” A tear slides down her cheek, her smirk brittle as she tries to keep control of this situation.
Cullen grabs her wrists and gently but firmly pushes her away. She stumbles, drunk and unsteady, colliding with Ella. Both of them crash to the floor.
“I’d apologize,” Cullen’s voice is cold, lethal, “but after what you just said, you don’t deserve it. Don’t you ever fucking disrespect Hudson again.”
I don’t wait for her response. I just walk out the front door, the shouting fading behind me.
No one even notices I left.
I think about driving home, but that’s a dumb idea even as it forms. But I need space, and there’s only one place that brings me any kind of peace.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I ignore it without checking the caller ID. Probably Cullen realizing I slipped out. He’ll worry, but I just need a minute to breathe.
The night air is warm, but comfortable. I turn off the street and let my legs carry me down the dark dirt road toward the river.
Matt only lives about a half mile from the water.
Thankfully, I’m not trashed—just drunk enough to not care if someone really is out there watching me.
Maybe they’ll do me a favor and shove me in the river.
It might hurt less than the guilt pressing down on my chest.
Crickets and frogs sing louder the closer I get, the river rough tonight from an incoming storm. The moonlight glinting off the choppy surface makes it look alive.
I climb the hill to the old railroad bridge and duck under the rusted handrail. At the spot where Cull first kissed me, I sit, legs dangling over the worn wood, head resting against a paint-chipped beam.
Seeing Hadley like that was a gut punch. I didn’t know she was capable of that much venom, or that she’d been so jealous and resentful. All this time, I thought I was protecting her by keeping my struggles to myself, but maybe that silence weighed on her more than the truth ever could.
She sees me as spoiled and lazy. Someone who gets a pass while she drowns under pressure. I never realized that my struggles looked like privilege from the outside.
Would it have mattered if I’d told her? Maybe. Maybe not. Add it to the growing list of things I’ve royally fucked up.
My phone rings again. I sigh and pull it from my pocket, answering without checking the screen. “I’m sorry, babe. I just needed some—”
“My patience is running out.”
The voice is tinny, distorted. Almost like they’re using a voice changer.
Every muscle in my body seizes.
“Who is this?” I try to keep the fear from creeping into my voice. This is the first time they’ve called, and going to these lengths to conceal themselves terrifies me.
“You continue to ignore me,” the caller growls. “I can give you what they can’t. I’ve warned everyone. Especially him.”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“You look lonely on that bridge.”
Then the line goes dead.
All I can hear is the pounding of my heart.