chapter 18
Charlotte woke up relieved because of the progress she’d made on her new book. Not only had she written five pages last night—she
liked them. That was huge. She could already tell that Josie, her heroine, would be forced to rethink her marriage. The conflict
wasn’t villain vs. angel; it was a partner who wouldn’t change when thriving—for Josie—meant moving in a different direction.
When was it ever right to walk away? That was the big question. And there was no perfect answer—no answer that would fit everyone.
Josie might decide that living her best life required a different partner, which would be painful.
Exploring that idea was giving Charlotte a fresh take on marriage—making her more willing to remain vulnerable, more honest
about growth and change, and more open to splitting when commitment became a cage. It might draw pushback from some readers,
but since it was helping her through her own divorce, she believed there would be others like her who needed to hear the same
message.
So . . . if she could just maintain her level of enthusiasm for the story, really get her heart and imagination into it instead of fearing and dreading it, she might enjoy the process the way she had with her first book.
She had a long way to go before “The End,” and the pain in her personal life would intrude when she least expected it. But
having started the manuscript and having a sense of direction with it took some of the pressure off. At least she could give
her editor a paragraph or two about the story so the art department could get going on the cover. Then she’d do exactly as
Julian had said and focus on the five pages she needed to write each day. The rest would take care of itself.
Last night, she’d counted the days until her deadline. Five pages wasn’t a quick enough pace to finish in time, but it was
doable, even in her current situation, and would put her within reach of the finish line before she was catastrophically late. She hoped her publisher would be able to live with that since it was the best she could do at the moment—unless she
miraculously got so swept up she somehow managed to produce more.
She yawned, stretched and pulled her phone into bed with her. She’d heard from Cliff, she realized. His name was bolded to
signal the fact that he’d sent a message she hadn’t yet seen, making her grimace. He’d hurt her so badly she didn’t even want
to read it. If he was asking for her address in Italy so he could mail her the divorce papers, it would just prove how tone-deaf
and insensitive he really was. What was the rush? Why force her to deal with the logistics of their split on top of everything
else she was going through right now?
And if he’d changed his mind and wanted her back?
She wasn’t convinced that would be any better.
If he softened any more than he already had, it could create a desire to give up the battle she was waging to save her career and do the right thing by her half sister.
For the most part, she’d been happy when she was married to him.
Could he have been a better person and husband?
Of course. There’d been bumps along the road.
But she’d always focused on the good times and making the relationship work, so she certainly would never have left him.
Knowing whatever he’d sent would evoke strong emotions either way, she decided not to look. She couldn’t risk letting him
upset her when she’d just started her book. She had to protect her muse. And she couldn’t risk what could happen to Lilly
if he wanted to repair their marriage.
Ignoring it, she clicked on a new message from Julian instead.
Hey, sleepyhead. Took little sis out for breakfast and a walkabout to give you the chance to go through Sabrina’s phone without
her being around.
If Luca hadn’t already mentioned the sexual nature of some of the text messages he’d discovered on Sabrina’s phone, Charlotte
probably wouldn’t even have considered going through it on her own. Since Sabrina had always been a stranger to her, doing
so felt invasive and weird.
But Lilly was too young to see some of the things Luca had indicated were there.
Charlotte had taken a break from writing to discuss the situation with Julian last night before he went to bed.
After that odd moment on the deck when he’d helped her move Sabrina’s boxes into the storage room and she’d made things awkward by saying she should’ve married him instead of Cliff, she hadn’t seen much of him.
But she’d approached him last night while Sloane and Lilly were playing checkers in the house to make sure everything was as it had always been between them.
What he said and did helped and comforted her.
He’d sort of taken over Sloane’s position in that regard, which was a little surprising, but she had enough to think about, wasn’t going to worry about that, too.
She was enjoying Sloane, as well, and was glad the way she’d behaved when she was married to Cliff—giving in to the pressure he put on her instead of doing more to insist he accept her friends and family the way she’d accepted his—hadn’t permanently damaged their relationship.
How long will you be gone? she wrote, responding to the message he’d sent this morning.
As long as you need us to be.
I’ll find her phone and text you when I’m done. Thank you!
Again, she recalled the comment she’d made about marrying him and cringed. He must have found that way out of line. He’d been around so much while they were growing up, and they were so familiar with each other and each other’s
families. He probably looked at her like a second sister and was put off by the idea of anything romantic between them. That
had to be why he’d reacted the way he did, even though she’d only been joking.
Well, she’d mostly been joking. A woman could do a lot worse than marry Julian. Not only was he handsome, he was clever, fun, warm, protective,
kind and demonstrative.
There you go again! Quit thinking about him in that way, she chastised herself and jumped out of bed.
After pulling on a lightweight sweatshirt and a pair of shorts, she shoved her feet into some flip-flops and was almost out
of the room—wasn’t even going to brush her hair or teeth since she didn’t know how long it would take to find Sabrina’s phone
and wanted to get to it right away so she didn’t strand Julian for hours—when she remembered Cliff’s text and stopped dead
in the doorway.
What was he saying? Was he finalizing the divorce or wanting to get back together?
Closing her eyes so she wouldn’t actually see what he’d written, she clicked on his message to remove the bolding that set
it apart from the messages she’d already seen. She didn’t want that notification glaring at her every time she glanced at
her phone, didn’t want to be reminded that he’d sent anything. She had to deal with her book and her sister. That meant forgetting about Cliff, at least while she was in Italy, whether
he still wanted her or not.
Shoving her phone in the pocket of her cutoffs, she rushed into the living room and kitchen area and was heading straight
for the doors that led onto the deck when Sloane startled her by calling out from not very far away.
“Hey, you just getting up?”
Charlotte whipped around to see her friend lounging on the sofa reading the latest Kristin Hannah novel. “Oh, I’m glad you’re
awake,” she said. “Come help me find Sabrina’s phone. I need to go through it.”
“Why the rush?” Sloane asked, but set her book aside as she got up.
“I want to do it before Lilly gets back.”
“Because . . .”
“Because Luca told me Sabrina was sexting other guys. I don’t want Lilly to see anything like that. It could traumatize her
for life.”
“Are you sure we want to see it?” she asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste.
Charlotte would’ve laughed at Sloane’s response, but she was in too much of a hurry. “Better us than a twelve-year-old.”
“I can’t say I’ve been all that impressed with what I’ve learned about Sabrina so far,” she admitted ruefully. “This might
come off as insensitive, but I think you should be glad she gave you up.”
Charlotte paused to respond more thoughtfully. “I’m well aware that I was much better off with Penny and Don. But I’m trying not to be too hard on my birth mother. Who knows what drove her? To me, it seems as if she was more than a little lost—always chasing something she couldn’t find.”
“That’s very generous of you. But I still say she should’ve been a better mother to Lilly.”
Charlotte couldn’t argue with that. Sabrina was almost assuredly the person responsible for the fear, uncertainty and insecurity
she saw in her younger sister’s eyes.
They stepped out into a gusty day with sunlight dripping over the sea like paint rolling down an artist’s canvas. “What are
you going to do with Sabrina’s phone when you’re done with it?” Sloane asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “Why?”
“You should give it to Lilly.”
“She’s too young for a phone,” Charlotte said, closing the door behind them.
“I don’t think so,” Sloane argued. “I googled it just this morning. Most guidance says thirteen or fourteen is the appropriate
age for a smartphone.”
“Lilly’s only twelve.”
“She’s twelve and a half. What’s a few months? Besides, thanks to the kind of life she’s lived, she’s probably older than
her years. She doesn’t talk much, but there’s a lot going on behind those big eyes of hers.”
Charlotte had so many decisions ahead of her she wasn’t particularly interested in making this one right now. “We’ll see,”
she said and lifted the top box out of the storage closet.
“That phone is all her mother left her,” Sloane continued as she took a different box and carried it to the table. “It might
give her a feeling of independence and power at a time when she really needs both. Who’s she going to call, anyway?”
“It’s not about who she’d call, Sloane. It’s about what she might find on the internet.”