chapter 19 #2
“Why not? I seem to gravitate to broken things,” he said with a laugh. “I want to make them whole. You asked me about Sabrina.
That was probably the case with her, too. But she wouldn’t let me help her, wouldn’t let anyone help her. I offered to keep Lilly when she left. I truly believed the girl would be better off here. But Sabrina wouldn’t
hear of it.”
“She’d given up one child. She probably couldn’t think of giving up another.”
He hesitated before saying, “I’d like to think that was the reason.
I suppose Sabrina loved Lilly in her own way.
But she couldn’t seem to put Lilly’s needs above her own.
That’s what made me mad. And when I tried to step in, she accused me of wanting to keep Lilly for .
. . for the wrong reasons, which is just plain sad because she should’ve known me better than that.
We weren’t together very long, but I’ve never done a thing to hurt an animal or a child and I never would.
I just wanted to give Lilly a stable, loving home.
That was what she needed. But because of what Walter did . . . That certainly played a role.”
“What Walter did?”
“You don’t know about that?”
“I don’t know about anything,” she said. “I’m coming into this entirely cold.”
He hesitated as if he wasn’t eager to explain.
“Steve? If it’ll help me understand Lilly better, what she’s been through and what she might need, please tell me.”
“I’m sure it’s something she’d rather you not know. It’s probably something she’d rather no one knows. According to Sabrina,
she was pretty upset. So I’m thinking I should let her share what happened. When she’s ready.”
His loyalty only made Charlotte trust him more. She wanted to press him; he’d raised her curiosity. But she could tell from
the finality in his voice that he wasn’t going to change his mind. “Okay. Then just tell me this. Who was Walter?”
“The guy Sabrina was with before me, in Colorado.”
“I see. And he hurt Lilly in some way?”
“I’ll let her tell you,” he reiterated.
Charlotte believed Sabrina had made a grave mistake leaving Steve. Just the way Lilly talked about him indicated he was a
good man. But Sabrina hadn’t been able to stop sabotaging her own happiness, which, unfortunately, directly affected Lilly’s.
“I’ll keep everything you’ve said in mind. And when we get back to the States, we’ll plan a trip to Iowa.”
“Sounds good.”
“Don’t forget to send me a picture of Old Blue.”
“I won’t,” he said.
Sloane was waiting to comment on the conversation as soon as Charlotte hung up. “What’d he say?”
“He said he’d take Lilly himself.”
“That’s what I thought he said. Was he serious?”
“Sounded like it.”
“But . . . does that mean her grandparents, father and extended family aren’t viable options?”
“Sabrina was raised by her grandparents, who are too old these days. He didn’t say where her mother is, but she was a drug
addict, and maybe she never got clean.”
“What about Lilly’s father?”
“Lives in Mexico. It wouldn’t be worth the time, effort or money to track him down. Even if I could find him, I’d have to
force him to pay child support. I don’t want to deal with all that negativity.” Apparently, Mr. Heidelman had done his job
well and found the only viable relation—her.
“Do you think Lilly would want to move back to the farm?”
“Possibly. You know how she feels about Old Blue.”
“Then that might be the perfect solution.”
“Steve seems like a really good guy,” she agreed.
“You’re taking Lilly to visit him once we get back?”
“I think I should, don’t you?”
“Absolutely.”
Charlotte was about to set Sabrina’s phone aside when it pinged with a text message. Steve had sent the picture she’d requested—a
selfie that included him, along with a message.
Old Blue and I miss you, Lill. Can’t wait for you to come see us.
“That’s him?” Sloane said, peering over her shoulder.
Charlotte lifted the phone so she could get a better look. “Apparently.”
“He has nice eyes, and a seems to have a steadiness that reads as trustworthy.”
She adjusted the phone to study the picture herself.
Sloane was right. Tall and lanky, Steve was bald and a bit weathered with a full beard that was almost all gray but neatly trimmed, and he had a shy, sweet smile for a man of his size and age.
Just looking at him made Charlotte feel he was the kind of person who would keep his word.
She reminded herself that looks could be deceiving, but Lilly’s comments and feelings about Steve backed up her opinion. “Would
Lilly be better off with him?” She was mostly speaking to herself, but she thought Sloane would jump at the chance to offer
an emphatic yes. Sloane was the one who’d been trying to convince Charlotte not to take on a twelve-year-old. But she was
surprisingly reticent.
“I don’t know. We’ll have to see how things go from here.”
Charlotte hid a smile. Sloane’s tough talk hid a very soft heart. Maybe she didn’t know it yet, but this served as further
proof that she was falling for Lilly.
As she walked along the shore in Positano next to Julian, who’d suggested they stay out of the house a little longer to give
Charlotte more time to work, Lilly saw a man lift his little girl up so he could carry her on his shoulders and was mesmerized
by the sight. She’d always wanted to experience that. It was why she’d called so many men “Dad.” Sabrina had encouraged it,
of course. She’d pushed that sort of connection far too soon. But Lilly had done it, hoping it would make them a real family,
which now made her feel like a desperate fool. Somewhere along the line, that sort of thing had become a joke. Other than
maybe Steve, each new “dad” was far more interested in Sabrina than he was in her. Lilly was merely an annoyance they had
to put up with if they wanted a relationship with Sabrina.
As she stooped to pick up a broken shell veined like lace, she remembered the fight she’d overheard the night before they left the farm.
Steve had caught Sabrina cheating on him with some guy she’d connected with on a dating app and said he was done with her.
At first, Sabrina had tried to convince him she wasn’t really interested in that other man.
Then she’d promised she’d never contact him again.
But Steve no longer seemed to care what changes she made.
He’d insisted she move out right away, but Lilly remembered hearing him say that she could stay.
Her mother hadn’t even discussed the possibility with her. Lilly was the one person Sabrina had relied on to always be there,
the one person who couldn’t get upset and leave, no matter what. But what would’ve happened if her mother had left her at the farm? Would they both have been happier?
Considering what’d happened since, Lilly certainly believed she would’ve been better off. Had Sabrina died while Lilly lived at the farm, Lilly would probably have gone on living there.
With Old Blue. No change.
The thought of Steve’s beloved dog always hit her hard. But even if her mother had allowed it, she couldn’t have lived with
a man who was no relation to her while Sabrina moved on without her, especially after what had happened with Walter. Walter
was always there in the back of her mind, making her distrust all the “dads” who came after.
So what was going to happen now? As nice as her sister seemed to be, Lilly didn’t know if she could truly rely on Charlotte.
With Charlotte’s marriage falling apart, there wasn’t currently a guy in her life. That was when her promises were most likely
to be broken—if there was a chance her pro basketball, rich-as-fuck (something else Lilly had heard her mother say) husband
ever came back around. How could anyone say no to a pro basketball player? Someone who wasn’t just rich but famous, handsome
and athletic? If Sabrina were in Charlotte’s shoes, she’d go back to him, and Lilly knew it. Sabrina had never been able to pass the guy test, and she’d never been tempted by anyone as desirable as a pro athlete.
“Why do you think Charlotte’s husband is breaking up with her?” Lilly asked Jules.
He was too busy eyeing a seagull that was strutting confidently toward them to answer—and caught her arm so she’d stop walking.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, blinking up at him.
“I don’t like birds,” he said.
She laughed at the expression on his face. “You’re scared of them?”
“I didn’t say that. I said I didn’t like them.”
He was scared of them. Lilly could tell. Flapping her arms, she chased the bird away before returning to him. “Don’t worry. I’ll
protect you,” she said with a teasing grin.
He arched an unappreciative eyebrow. “I could’ve done that. I was just . . . waiting to see if it would be necessary.”
He wasn’t even attempting to sell the lie. He was laughing, too, and that made her like him even more. He wasn’t all that
different from Steve, she realized—so real he could laugh at himself for being afraid of something as harmless as a bird.
“You’re funny, you know that?” she said.
He flexed for her. “Just so you know I’m also strong and masculine and perfectly capable of protecting you from . . . everything
except birds.”
This time when she laughed, it felt perfectly natural to slide her arm through his as they continued to walk, which was such
a rare thing for her—she couldn’t believe she was that comfortable with him. Jules felt like an older brother.
“So are you going to answer my question about Cliff and Charlotte?”
He glanced down at her arm. “Look at you—growing all confident and brave.”
She felt her face heat as she withdrew, but he reached over and put her arm back inside his. “I don’t know why he left her,” he said.
“You must have some idea,” she insisted.
“Other than that Cliff’s an asshole? I actually don’t.”
She let go to bend over and pick up another broken shell, which she transferred to the hand holding all the others. “What
are the chances he’ll want to get back together with her?”
“Once he realizes what he’s lost, I’d say the chances are good. He’ll never find anyone better. But maybe he’s not even as
smart as I think he is, in which case he’ll never realize it.”
“You really like Charlotte,” she commented.
He shifted his gaze to look out at the sea. “I know what kind of person she is.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Not right now.”
“Why not?”
His grin slanted to one side. “What woman would want a man who’s afraid of birds?”
“Yeah, that’s intolerable,” she said, joking back with him, and picked up another shell.
“Why are you only going for the broken ones?” he asked when he saw her stow it with the others.
“Just because something’s broken doesn’t make it worthless,” she pointed out.
Lines appeared on his forehead as if he might argue with her, but then they disappeared, and his smile grew easy again. “You’re
wiser than your years, you know that?”
“I only had my mother. One of us had to be an adult,” she muttered and felt a little lighter when he chuckled as if he understood and found another
broken seashell he handed to her.