Chapter 7 #2
“I’d scoot around the chicken yard on my scrawny butt and pick off the white tops of their doodah for my dinner before I’d eat with you,” she declared, and marched out of the store.
“She’s a pistol,” the lady behind the counter giggled. “Always has been, and probably won’t ever change.”
“I’m learning that,” he said, and handed her his credit card to pay for everything.
***
“Can you believe that man came to town dressed like a hobo?” Hettie grumbled as she got into Audrey’s truck.
“Nope,” Audrey said, but she did not say that in her eyes he was still sexy even in the mismatched ugly garb he wore to the feedstore or that she figured that was the only clothing he had to wear after ruining his shirt and jeans the night before.
“I’ll fix that fence myself tomorrow,” Hettie muttered. “I still know how to stretch wire and set a fence post.”
“Let’s talk about something else.” Audrey drove down the street toward the Dairy Queen. “You wanted nachos and a burger for dinner. Let’s enjoy those and forget about Brodie Callahan, pot-bellied pigs, and the fence.”
Hettie crossed her arms over her chest. “I’ll talk about whatever I want.”
“Okay, remember what you always told me. She who stirs the pile of manure has to lick the spoon.”
“Don’t you be turning my words around to argue with me,” Hettie growled.
“Then stop stirring.” Audrey drove the short distance to the DQ and found a parking spot close to the front. “I bet your blood pressure is over the moon.”
“Probably, but when we get home, I’ll make a double whiskey sour and that will bring it down.” Hettie got out of the truck and beat Audrey inside.
“Hey, Miz Hettie,” the young girl behind the order counter waved. “What’ll it be? Nachos and a burger with everything on it?”
“Yep, and a double order of fries and a pineapple milk shake.” Hettie claimed a booth by the window.
“I’ll have a steak finger basket and a large sweet tea,” Audrey added, and took out her wallet to pay the bill when she realized that Brodie was in front of her.
He took a while to decide what he wanted and then turned around slowly. “Fancy meeting you again so soon.”
“Seems like the Universe hates us.” Her chilly tone did not match the hot little sparks dancing around in her insides.
“Yep,” he said with a smile and went to the back side of the place.
Audrey took a couple of bills from her wallet and handed them to the girl, but she shook her head and said, “Brodie paid for your order.”
“Order up!” the cook yelled from the kitchen.
“Brodie Callahan!” the girl hollered. “Your takeout order is ready.”
He appeared at Audrey’s elbow, and she tried to hand him the money still in her hand. “You are not buying our dinner.”
He brushed her hand away. “Darlin’, I had to buy y’all’s dinner to wipe that visual of Miz Hettie scootin’ around a chicken pen searching for white tops on doodah. Now, the picture is all gone from my head because I know she’s having a good Sunday dinner. Y’all have a nice day now.”
Before she could say another word, he had left the restaurant.
How on earth he had managed to get there before them was a complete mystery.
Then she realized that Hettie had shuffled across the feedstore parking lot slower than usual.
Every few steps she stopped to breathe and cuss out Brodie some more.
That plus the fact they had had to stop at both traffic lights in town had put them behind.
“What was that all about?” Hettie asked when Audrey slid into the booth on the opposite side from her.
“Brodie paid for our food. I tried to repay him, but he refused to take it,” she answered, and went on to tell Hettie what he had said. “So, don’t go gettin’ mad at him. You caused this.”
“I didn’t cause that fence to get knocked down or the pig to tear up my flowers.
Don’t tell me I can’t be mad. That man is arrogant, and who does he think he is, going around in public looking like…
” Hettie was on a real rampage until the waitress brought a tray with their food and set it in the middle of the table.
“I wish I’d come to whatever church y’all go to,” the lady said.
“Why’s that?” Hettie asked.
“You must have had some kind of program this morning. Was Brodie playing the part of Jonah in the story about the whale? That man is so sexy, I could just fall over backward and pull him down on top of me,” she sighed and hurried back to the counter to wait on a big family coming inside.
“Is that any way for a young girl to talk?” Hettie fussed as she unwrapped her burger. “I swear this old world is going to hell in a handbasket.”
“That’s not any worse than you threatening to have chicken doodah for dinner,” Audrey reminded her. “Or asking me if I had sex with someone in a mud lolly.”
“Hmmph,” Hettie snorted. “Eat your dinner and take me home so I can get the taste of this morning out of my mouth with a good whiskey sour.”
“After we go by the cemetery to see Uncle Amos?” Audrey asked.
“We are not going today, and don’t give me no sass,” Hettie told her. “Amos will understand that I need a good stiff drink after the morning I’ve had.”
“Yes, ma’am, if that’s what you want,” Audrey said.
“What are you going to do all afternoon?” Hettie asked.
“I am going to take the book I’ve been reading out to the hammock in the backyard and read a while, nap a while, and repeat the process until it gets dark,” Audrey answered. “I bet you are going to call Bitsy and gossip about Brodie, right?”
“That’s not a bit of your business, but yes, I am,” Hettie said, and then stuffed her mouth with a french fry. “Ain’t no one in the world can make a burger and fries like this place.”
“You mean like Dairy Queen does?” Audrey asked.
“Nope, I mean like this very one,” she said and reached for a nacho.
“Amos brought me here every Sunday after services. He said it was biblical because the scripture says, ‘Blessed is he who hungers and thirsts after righteousness.’ We had listened to the preacher teach us about being right with the Lord, and we were hungry, so it was right and proper.”
Audrey chuckled and took a long drink of her sweet tea. “Does the Good Book also say that it’s alright to go home after being fed and have a whiskey sour?”
“There’s a lot of verses in there, but remember that Jesus himself turned water to wine, so you can’t condemn me. Are you going to have a beer when we get home?” Hettie asked.
“Probably,” Audrey said, and felt the corners of her mouth turn up in a grin. “I might even ask Brodie if he’d like for me to bring him one.”
Hettie grabbed her heart and groaned. “Don’t you ever tease me about something that serious. I hate that man, and you will not ever have anything to do with him. Is that understood?”
“So, the feud between two parcels of land is still going full strength,” Audrey said. “It used to be between Grandpa and Uncle Ira. Now it’s between us and the Callahans.”
“You got it, if you toss Bernie in there with it,” Hettie answered with a nod.