Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24
T he next morning, Melody was taking a longer-than-usual walk. She’d thought breaking it off with Kyle would make her feel free, independent.
Relieved, even. After the whole family Christmas incident earlier in the week, she’d been sure much of her angst and unease had come from experiencing Kyle’s dysfunctional family dynamic. And so that meant that the way to feel clear and in control was to break it off with him.
That wasn’t the only reason, even though Christmas with his family had been the catalyst. The main reason was that she realized she couldn’t trust her judgment. Something deep inside her told her Kyle would eventually become like Tommy. And it would have been stupid to go from one bad situation into yet another, not having learned anything.
Losing her parents had caused something in her brain to malfunction—and, until she figured out how to fix it, it would never be okay. She would never be okay.
As she began walking on a trail just outside of town, farther than she’d ever ventured before, she felt removed from civilization enough that she had no inhibitions about talking out loud. “Mom, dad, if you were here, what advice would you give me? I was positive breaking it off with Kyle would make me feel better, but I feel way worse. What the hell should I do?”
She knew she wouldn’t hear their voices wafting down from the heavens, but she could sometimes feel them in her heart when she spoke to them—and sometimes that was how she figured out what she should do. She hadn’t listened to them in a long time…and maybe that was why she’d once again gotten herself into a situation she shouldn’t have been in to begin with.
While she waited for the silent answers that sometimes came to her when she took her walks, she couldn’t help but think back over the past few months. She’d actually grown fond of the way Kyle often called her Tink and his smile could make her entire body light up with joy.
No. She’d done the right thing. Kyle might have seemed like the right guy in the moment, but that whole scene with his family had left her feeling more than uneasy. Although she hadn’t imagined being with Kyle for the long-term—mainly because she felt like her entire made-up life was temporary—her subconscious brain had entertained a together-for-a-while trajectory…but Melody couldn’t tolerate being in that environment.
It reminded her too much of Tommy. That man worshipped his mother, and she believed all the lies he told her about working a “respectable” job and being a good man—mainly because he went to Mass with her once a month. But even with the adoration he felt for his mother, they fought like cats and dogs, and they didn’t care who was around to hear it. And Melody was pretty sure they enjoyed it even more when they could see her all but cringing to be around it.
At least there hadn’t been any door-slamming at Kyle’s mother’s house, and the woman hadn’t wielded a skillet, threatening to hit him over the head. So maybe Kyle’s family wasn’t quite as bad.
Still…it was reminiscent, enough to give her a sour stomach.
She had to stop reliving that night over and over. She’d already broken it off with Kyle, so she expected that, if she could stop thinking about that night, she would start feeling better.
But when she forced herself to change her train of thought, she simply went backwards. At first, Kyle really had seemed like a breath of fresh air…after she’d stopped pushing him away, anyway. And he was such a good kisser—she’d enjoyed the way he kissed the very first time their lips had touched.
And then there was their first date. It was the kind of thing she never would have planned for a date and yet the whole evening had been magical—even the uncomfortable beginning. She remembered holding his hand on Razor Ridge Drive.
Oh. And the print he’d bought her.
Letting out a long sigh and shaking her head, she focused on the hills in the distance. The trees and scattered brush had a light dusting of snow, and she tried smiling through the tears that were beginning to blur her vision. She reminded herself that she’d given him the print back so she wouldn’t have any reminders of him.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to give back the memories.
And they kept flooding back in. The first time they’d made love—that was magic. No man had ever made her feel that way.
Had she made a mistake?
“I don’t know how to fix this,” she said again, knowing she wouldn’t get an answer. When a woman came around the bend on the path toward her, she hoped she hadn’t heard her talking aloud to herself.
Maybe she didn’t really care.
As they passed each other, she forced a smile, hoping the tears weren’t evident, but the woman had her earbuds in and didn’t even look her way.
That was just as well.
Finally, Melody simply allowed herself to cry as she continued walking down the path but, after a while, regretted it because she only had one tissue in her pocket. She had to get herself under control.
By the time she began heading back, she had made a decision. She’d been considering leaving again and the walk had convinced her that she should go ahead and do it. There was nothing in Silver City keeping her here—and there was still the matter of Tommy knowing her location.
If she left, she could start over again…but this time, she’d be smarter. She’d trade the car in for something else and maybe see if she could find a way to change her identity.
But she’d sleep on it. Before when she’d planned to leave, she’d been making the decision out of panic. If she felt the same in the morning, she’d let Al and her landlord know and she would leave calmly.
Only then would she know for certain that it had been the right move.
After a slow night at work, Melody returned to her apartment, ready to sleep.
Except sleep refused to come.
She’d grown used to having Kyle’s warm body beside her, holding her, making her feel safe and loved. It was almost dawn when she finally drifted off but she didn’t get much rest.
When she awoke close to noon, she felt like crap and realized that her dreams had all been about Kyle.
But, as she shuffled to the kitchen to make coffee, something occurred to her: she’d been dreaming about Kyle, about all his good qualities and what had made him a good boyfriend, and then she knew.
Her brain was trying to tell her something.
She’d been wrong .
Until now, she’d been doubting him, had lost faith in him, and had figured the festering family stuff was likely hiding a whole plethora of things he hadn’t told her. But now it was clear: he had told her everything…and she’d just been too stupid to trust. She’d been so damned sure that she was a poor judge of character and that Kyle had to be the same as Tommy—but he wasn’t. Kyle could never be like Tommy, and there was nothing he’d done up to this point that should have made her feel that way. The only reason she’d believed they were cut from the same cloth was thanks to her own flawed psyche.
And even that she had to forgive. She’d been making her way through life alone and, at the time Tommy had come along, she’d been especially vulnerable.
Maybe he’d known that. Maybe he’d preyed on her for that very reason.
She’d never know for certain—but, by the time the coffee had finished brewing, she did know that she’d made a horrible mistake.
Intent to Murder was scheduled to be at Tequilaville tomorrow night. That gave her plenty of time to prepare…and figure out how to make things right.