Chapter 6
Liam
When we open the door to Meltdown, it’s packed wall-to-wall with people.
“Holy shit,” I say with surprise.
“They must be good,” Damon mutters beside me as we squeeze into the bar. The low tables and all the chairs have been removed from the floor. The high-top tables remain for people to set their drinks on and maybe create a tiny bit of breathing room throughout the crowded space.
Damon and I pick our way to the bar. Since I’m bigger, I take the lead, pulling him behind me so we don’t get separated in the chaos. Meltdown isn’t that big, but with this many people crammed in here, if we get separated, it’d take a while to find each other again.
I scan the faces as we go. Sadly, I don’t spot Hannah or Julie anywhere, but Damon and I are catching quite a few glances from other ski bunnies as we pass by.
He could honestly have his pick, but he’s been distracted and fidgety this whole trip, and he doesn’t even notice the attention he’s getting.
I hate that he’s keeping something from me.
It’s another ten minutes before we can get close enough to the bar to place an order, and as soon as I try, the bar lights dim, and red floodlights bathe the instruments in an eerie glow.
And, fuck, does it get loud!
I basically have to yell my words directly into Damon’s eardrum so he can hear me.
“What do you want?” I ask.
He replies, but he’s not loud enough, so I clamp my hand around his neck and pull him closer until his mouth is flush against my ear.
“J-just a Corona,” he stammers. Nodding, I let him go and lean over to place our order with the bartender. I hate making decisions like that, so I just order two Coronas to make it easy.
The lead singer welcomes the crowd and thanks everyone for coming out tonight. He introduces himself, the three other guys with him, and the band as a whole, even though it’s clear the entire place already knows who they are.
Putting my back to the bar, I turn to watch the band while I wait for our beers.
A couple tries to scoot by, but Damon doesn’t notice, and it’s already a tight fit.
Hooking my arm around his waist, I pull him between my legs, so his back is against my chest to create enough room for the couple to move past.
The dude moving through nods at me in thanks as his girl follows behind him with her arms wrapped around his torso. I’m not entirely sure how she’s managing to walk like that, but they look so content just to be together, it makes me smile.
Damon twists to look up at me, his question clear in the arch of his brow.
Placing my mouth back at his ear, I explain. “They needed to get by, and you weren’t moving.”
He nods and returns his attention to the band as the opening notes ring through the air, but I don’t take my arm off his waist. He feels good, solid.
Having him this close physically makes the emotional distance between us feel manageable, like, even though he’s not telling me what’s bothering him, he’s not pulling away from me, either, letting me know I’m still allowed to be close.
If Damon were to kick me out of his personal space, I’m not sure what I’d do.
Another minute goes by, and someone taps my shoulder.
Turning, I see it’s the girl to my left, sitting at the bar. She’s trying to let me know our drinks are ready.
And still, I don’t remove my arm.
I take my drink and slide it toward me on the bar before grabbing Damon’s and wrapping my other arm around his body to hand it to him.
The band is in full swing, and we stand no chance of hearing each other, so he just takes his beer without turning around.
Taking a quick gulp of my own, I down half of it and then return it to the bar top.
As Damon and I stand there, pressed in on all sides by the bodies around us, the music and environment are tugging on my emotions, and the proximity to my best friend is making me feel possessive.
In response to that, I put both of my hands on Damon’s hips and just rest them there.
I can see over his head just fine, and if it isn’t Damon leaning into my space, it’ll be someone else.
I’m sure we’re far over capacity from the standpoint of a fire hazard, and more people are still coming through the doors.
A couple of songs in, Damon moves out of my grip to use the bathroom. When he comes back, he purposely stands next to me instead of in front of me.
Maybe he’s kicking me out after all, I think to myself.
After another beer each, this weird tension between us hasn’t lessened any, so I lean over and yell into Damon’s ear.
“D, let’s go back to the house.”
“What? Why? Aren’t you having fun?” he asks, always concerned about how I’m doing.
“I am, but I don’t think you are,” I say truthfully. “Come on,” I insist, already trying to find the path of least resistance in the crowd. “The drinks will be cheaper, and we can take them in the hot tub,” I yell.
The ghost of an emotion I can’t quite place passes across his features, making me more determined to get whatever is going on out of him.
Once we’re back inside the quiet cabin, I realize now it’s too quiet. If I expect him to open up, he’s going to need something other than total silence.
“Want some background music?” I ask, moving to the little dock on the wall by the back door. “I think it connects to the speakers throughout the house and out on the deck.”
It’s actually a cool setup.
Damon nods.
“Shit. My phone’s on three percent battery. Can we hook yours up?”
He hands me his phone, asking, “What do you want to drink?”
“Whatever you’re having,” I reply.
“I think I’m gonna switch to water for a while,” Damon answers.
“What the hell for?” I ask.
Damon shrugs. “The hot tub always makes me queasy if I drink liquor. It’s like I get overheated, and the combination makes me sick. Did you forget what happened during spring break freshman year of college?”
“D, I will never forget what happened. In fact, I wish I could forget it. Watching chunks of my best friend’s vomit float by while I was trying to mack on Savannah Niles is one of the most traumatizing things I’ve ever experienced.”
He laughs, and it finally eases some of the angst I’ve felt since we arrived. Whatever is weighing on him is weighing heavily on me as well, even though I don’t know what it is. But the longer he keeps it from me, the more it creates a wedge between us.
Almost as if he can hear me, he passes a beer to me and says, “Tomorrow. I promise I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
Nodding, I clink my bottle against his water glass, unsure if I feel better or worse.
“I’m gonna go change,” he says, heading toward his room. “And I’m going to lock the door this time, so don’t even think about trying to see my dick again.”
“I think it’s your dick that wants to see me,” I tease, roasting him about the boner he got when I had him in a headlock. That’s probably not the nicest thing, but it’s better than pretending I didn’t see it. Hell, I felt the fucking thing, and that warrants a joke.
Except, instead of laughing it off, Damon’s face has lost all color.
“See you out there,” he says, quickly retreating to his room.
Okay, then.
I beat him outside, and am already on my next beer by the time he finally joins me in the hot tub.
In an effort to alleviate the discomfort I caused him, I thought I’d show solidarity, so after getting in, I promptly removed my swim trunks, which are now floating on the surface in circles, following the current produced by the jets.
“It feels wicked good to let the balls get tickled by the bubbles,” I tell him, mostly serious despite my light-hearted tone.
Damon eyes the trunks from where he stands on the icy deck, wearing a white robe and slippers. “Tell me you didn’t.”
I hold the shorts up with a smile on my face. “Why? You can clearly see that I did.”
“Christ, Li, put your fucking shorts back on.”
“What has you so wound up, man? We barely see each other throughout the year, and the whole time we’ve been here, you’ve been so uptight and grumpier than usual.”
“Tomorrow, remember?” is all he says as he takes a sip of his water.
“Well, if this is how you’re going to be tonight, maybe I’ll just spend it in my room because this isn’t us, D.
I feel like I’m on this vacation by myself,” I admit.
“I hate being so goddamned needy, but I’m trying to be here for you for once, and you aren’t letting me.
It makes me feel inadequate, and I already owe you so much. ”
Damon’s eyes find mine as he drapes his robe over the back of one of the chairs next to the hot tub.
It’s as clear tonight as it was during the day, and the stars are twinkling brilliantly.
It’s pitch black out here except for the lights coming from our own cabin.
No other homes are visible from our deck.
Something the designers must have taken great care in achieving.
It feels like it’s maybe twenty degrees out, and I can see my breath, but the air is crisp, not laden with wetness like the soggy winters back home in North Carolina.
Damon steps into the hot tub and immediately works to set me at ease.
“No one’s keeping score, Li. You’ve always been there for me, and you don’t owe me shit. That’s not how this works. I’d give you my life if you needed it.”
“Then what’s such a big a deal that you can’t just tell me?
” I ask. The obvious pain on his face is starting to really freak me out.
“D, come on. Are you sick? Is that what you’re scared to say?
Because I’m stronger than people give me credit for, and I’m not as stupid as people think, either. I can handle it.”
“Hey,” he barks, reaching forward to grip my chin. “I have never thought you were stupid or that you couldn’t handle your shit, you hear me? And no, I’m not sick.”
I nod, fighting to keep my emotions in check when he wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side.
I go easily, because for Damon to initiate this kind of contact is a big deal.
Then he lets out a half-groan/half-laugh. “I forgot your dumb ass is naked.”
“You should try it,” I tell him, melting into his side.
“I think my dick has been the center of attention enough recently, but by all means, enjoy the ball bubbles.”
“They might actually make me come,” I say, growing serious. “You get them in the right spot, and it’s like being inside a girl’s mouth with a load of Pop-Rocks candy. Do you remember those?” I ask.
“Yeah, but I can’t say I’ve ever had a Pop-Rocks BJ,” he says.
“Honestly, it’s like you were born a sixty-five-year-old man,” I laugh.
“Live a little, for fuck’s sake! We’re in this gorgeous place; it’s a beautiful night, and no one can see inside this tub except us.
It’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked before.
I don’t get why it’s suddenly a big deal. ”