Chapter One
December, 10 years later
Liam
Drinking in a packed club is not my idea of a good night. Not any more. During my rookie NHL season I drank, partied a lot, and fucked even more. That got old fast. Now I’m thirty, packed bars are hell, but I don’t have a choice. The team demanded my presence, so here I am.
Actually, Cassie, the Seattle Spears PR manager, demanded my presence. Told me if I want a renewed contract when mine is up at the end of next season I have to be an “active part of the team”.
Outside is freezing and wet, a normal Seattle winter. I didn’t miss those when I was in New York because I got to enjoy the snow. I did miss them in Vancouver, that place takes cold to another level. I’m aware of the irony: a hockey player complaining about the cold, but as I’m brutally reminded again, I’m getting older. Inside the bar is at least 90 degrees and packed to the rafters, it feels so much worse when you take up as much room as I do. Each step I take out of the bathroom bumps me into the path of another person, I give up apologising, it’s too loud for them to hear my apologies anyway. Still I try to slither my 6’4 frame through gaps in the crowd to minimise collisions.
After a few more hits, I spot the table with my fellow Spears players surrounded by women. Jay Brink or “Edge”, the team enforcer and my closest friend who traded with me from Vancouver two seasons ago, is sat on the outside of the fray next to the Seattle Spears captain Aiden Anders, who goes by Anders (great nickname, I’m aware), and I can see they are far from interested in the women surrounding them.
“I give it five minutes before she slaps him.” Anders laughs, his southern twang stronger due to the alcohol. I don’t need to follow his eyes to know they are talking about Finn Jonas, the Spears rookie sign. Rook was the number one draft pick this season and he is soaking in the fame like the kid he is. Floppy hair and a butter wouldn’t melt Canadian accent help him seem innocent, but he is a wannabe ladies’ man through and through.
“What d’ya think Ruin? She gonna slap him or kiss him? Fifty bucks if you’re right.” Edge nods in the direction of the bar and I am down to win money from my team. Despite his young age, Rook gets almost any woman he wants with his heartthrob charms. Before I pick my side I swing around to see the woman he has chosen as his prey. Long legs coming from sky-high heels, and a skin-tight red dress hugs her frame. Her body seems to go on for miles, and it’s rare to see a woman so tall enhance that height with shoes that high. Then I see her beautiful face.
A rock sinks in my stomach, the room spins. I haven’t seen that face in ten years and memories flood my mind. The last time I saw her my heart splintered in my chest. Now here she is again. My heart thunders in my chest when Rook steps even closer so she can hear him over the boisterous crowd.
“I’m going to kill him.” I sound hoarse against the sudden dryness as I begin to move across the bar. I can hear the boys shouting after me as I go.
“Rook, get lost.” I pull at Rook’s shoulder. He stumbles before he looks at me as if I’m crazy.
“Oh Ruin, joining the party, eh? I didn’t know you liked to share.” He has the audacity to wink and it elevates my rage. Not that she notices of course. Her eyes are on me, widened with shock.
“Go find the others.” I turn to face him fully so he can read the sincerity in my eyes.
“No need for the dramatics.” He brushes me off with a laugh, stalking away with a false swagger. As I turn away from Rook, there she is.
Ellis Ainsley. My one that got away. Her dirty blonde hair is a lot shorter than it was a decade ago, but I already knew that. Following her on social media is an addiction; at least once a month I check to see how she is. I do it from an anonymous account, of course. Can’t have my ex knowing she still owns me when I shouldn’t be thinking about her at all. I do it to see if she is still as beautiful as I remember, but the camera hasn’t done her justice. Her hair is not the only thing that’s different. The woman before me now is a mother to a beautiful son; a business woman who owns her own florist, Bloom and Blossom, right in the city just like she dreamed. She’s older, too. Not that age hasn’t been kind to her, but I see the maturity in her. The small laugh lines that frame her eyes. Every little change makes her more beautiful than my fantasies remember.
“You’re a caveman, you know that?” Her British accent is still strong as she interrupts my perusal. She hides her surprise of seeing me behind a teasing smile.
“You’re beautiful, you know that right?” I push the conversation back to her. I am acting like a caveman but I want to know about her. How she has been.
“I do. Your friend was just telling me how beautiful I am, too.” She smiles.
“How’ve you been?” I ask. This isn’t the best place for this conversation, the music is loud and we have to lean in close to hear each other, but I revel in her proximity.
“I’m as okay as I can be. You know how it goes.” She takes a sip of her drink before meeting my eyes again. “I’ll never be normal but I’m okay with that.” Silence falls between us. I wish her answer was different, that she could stand here and tell me that she is the strongest she has ever been, that some magical drug has stripped away her pain. It isn’t realistic, but Ellis deserves one day without pain, without having to suffer so much.
“So… You’re a mom?” I lean in to ask her after a moment of charged silence. I know the answer but I want to ask her about her son. Maybe ask about his dad.
“I am. He is the best thing I’ve done. Even if I hardly ever get a night off, he’s worth it.” Her face splits into a breath-taking grin. She has always been beautiful, but in the low light of the bar her smile shines all the way to her eyes. I’m speechless as I look at her glow.
“Fuck Sunshine, how do you still do that?”
“Do what?” She rolls her eyes. It reminds me of all the times she rolled her eyes at me years ago. My heart lurches and my blood heats thinking about what that sassy attitude lead to when we were younger.
“Make the world stop spinning.” I shake my head. How after all these years apart she still manages to break me into pieces is lost on me, but I don’t care. I also don’t care that I can feel the eyes of my teammates on us. In the two years I have been back in Seattle I haven’t dated anyone. I haven’t even flirted and now they see me call dibs like a teenager. It’s because of her. Nothing felt right about trying to date in this city if it wasn’t Ellis.
“How do you still do that?” she asks stepping closer to me so I can hear her over the crowd, we are toe to toe and eye to eye in her heels. Her lips are painted a similar red to her dress and it is taking everything in me to tear my eyes from the way they form her words. Lips I used to know so intimately bring back memories of every time I kissed them, every time they trailed over my body.
“Do what?” My hands fall to her hips and over the noise of the crowd I can hear her breath hitch at my hands encompassing her waist.
“Make me want to kiss you,” she whispers and licks her lips.
Wrapping my fingers around her wrist, I lead her towards an exit I saw earlier. I don’t want to kiss her in a dirty alley but it is better than here. Here it’s too loud to hear her whimpers, too crowded to feel intimate. There is also the worry that a fan might snap a picture. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if Ellis found herself on gossip sites because I couldn’t get a grip of myself.
Not paying any attention to the Staff Only sign on the door, I swing it open to see an alley filled with trash and cigarette butts. But if it means I can get Ellis’s lips against mine, I can make do. I wish I could get her to a bedroom or somewhere that smells a little better. Maybe next time.
My lips are on hers with a complete fever, making up for lost time. One of my hands stays on her waist, the other buries itself in her curls. Ellis kisses me back with everything she has. The pressure of her body against mine, the sting as she nips at my lip wanting more. Once my tongue meets hers all bets are off. We wipe away the last decade as my body remembers the feeling of her body under my hands, commanding her.
I pull back, but Ellis’s whines turn to moans as my lips travel over her jaw and down her throat just the way she used to like it. Based on the way her fingers tighten against my shirt I would hedge she still does. My brain says that we should stop before anyone takes pictures but my body doesn’t listen. Instead I push myself tighter against her knowing she will feel my bulge trying to push against my zipper.
“Sunshine, come home with me.” It isn’t a question, a demand that I whisper against her jaw. There is only one way I want this night to end: Ellis laid out on my bed until the sun rises.
“Just tonight. I can only give you tonight,” she pants. I thought a year was going to be enough in college, but it wasn’t. I’m not sure if one more night will satiate my fire. But I’m willing to find out.