Chapter Nineteen
Liam
My phone is ringing in my pocket as I leave the gym. Seeing the words “Sunshine Calling” light up my screen is a good start to the day already. Perhaps a thirty-year-old man wouldn’t normally admit it, but the incoming call gives me butterflies.
“Morning Sunshine, you missing me already?” I laugh.
“Liam?”
My heart skips a beat. That isn’t Ellis. Jack’s little voice comes through the speaker of my cell and my blood runs cold. It’s not strange for me to talk to him when I’m away, but him calling me out the blue threatens to bring up my breakfast. A sense of dread instantly cloaks me.
“Jack? What’s wrong, buddy? Where’s your mom?” I ask, already pulling out of the car lot, indicating in the opposite direction I usually turn. I know I’m not going home now.
“She’s sore, her fibre is bad.” Jack’s voice sounds so tiny, almost tearful.
“Her fibre? You mean her fibro, buddy?” I ask.
“That’s what I said, she’s sad and can’t move much, and she told me to call Lyndsey… but I called you instead.” A hiccup interrupts him before he continues. “You told me to call you if I was scared, and it makes me scared when she cries.”
I hold it together as I drive. Barely. “You did the right thing Jack, I’m on my way. Don’t worry okay?” I press my foot against the accelerator, speeding through the thankfully quiet streets.
“Is the baby okay?” he asks.
“The baby will be just fine.” A croak slips into my voice. “Is the front door unlocked?” I need to change the topic, if I let myself spiral down before I have even seen her, then I might crash the damn car.
“No, but I can do it with my step, are you nearly here?”
“Yes I am, bud, you are such a brave boy Jack. I’m around the corner, so unlock the door for me.” On the other end of the line I hear him moving around and the scraping of his stool on the wooden floors.
“I don’t feel brave,” Jack admits. I want to hug him so badly that my heart aches.
“Being brave isn’t about not being scared,” I ramble, hoping it’ll keep us both distracted. “It’s about knowing when to ask for help when things get scary, okay? I’m parking now – I’m right here.” I throw the car into a space outside Ellis’s and dive out of it. The main door hits the wall with the force I used to push through it and if it breaks that will be something to deal with later.
“Liam!” Jack yells as I burst through the door and he jumps from his stool into my arms. It takes more strength than I thought it would to stop from hitting the floor and holding him until his tears stop.
“It’s okay Jack, I’m here, I’m right here.” I tell him rubbing a hand down his back as he catches his breath again.
“Liam? Is that you?” Ellis’s voice is equal parts stressed, strained and a little shocked.
“Hi Sunshine, I heard you were having a flare with your fibre?” I attempt to joke as I carry Jack into her bedroom on my hip.
She looks incapable of movement, though her eyes widen at the sight of me. They are rimmed red and her already pale skin looks ashen in the dark room. She is looking from Jack to myself with doubt as though she may be hallucinating.
“Jack called you?” she realises. I see the moment her fogged brain catches up to the present.
“Yeah, El. He was scared because he didn’t know how to help you.” I bring Jack over to her bed where her arms are outstretched for her little boy, who looks smaller than I have ever seen him snuggled up against her.
“Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you, come here.” She nuzzles her face into his neck. Her arms don’t tighten around him as hard as she usually does. Instead she kisses the top of his head.
“Have either of you eaten?” I ask the room to which I receive double head shakes. “Okay, so first thing; Jack do you wanna stay here with your mom or come help me make some pancakes?” I ask. I know Ellis might want to hold on to him for a little longer, but she deserves all the rest she can get.
“Pancakes?” His little face pops up from the bed suddenly excited and no longer tearful.
“Right, little dude, I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” I lift him down from the bed, watching him scuttle out of the room before turning back to Ellis.
Before I can open my mouth again, she holds one hand up weakly. “Liam, you don’t have to stay. I know this looks bad, but I swear I am a good mum, everything is just so much worse when I’m pregnant. I swear I’d never leave him hungry. I just can’t get to any painkillers and—”
“Ellis, sweetheart, it’s okay.” I had to interrupt her rambling. She didn’t need to justify herself to me. “You couldn’t be a bad mom if you tried, just let me help you. I’m not going anywhere and I am at your service, I’m done with my training for the day so I’m free to spend time with you and Jack for as long as you need.” I reassure her. Without thinking too deeply, I lean forward and plant a kiss on her forehead.
For a moment I linger close to her. She doesn’t speak as I hold her face in my hands, memorising her from top to bottom. I don’t know if I’m the only one who feels it, but the air feels thick with unspoken words.
“Is there anything you need me to grab apart from painkillers?” I break the silence.
“No, that’s fine,” she replies quietly.
I head to join Jack, who waits patiently for me on a kitchen stool. Even if El doesn’t think I need to stay, I can’t think of where else I would go regardless. I know that I need to work out and I also need to watch game tapes from the season but I can do that tomorrow, what matters right now is making sure they are both okay.
I know me being here takes some weight from her shoulders. She might not ask for the help, but if she can just let me take a small part of that weight from her, I’ll do so happily.
Unlike her, though, I am not too stubborn to ask for help.
If I am going to balance the season and having a pregnant girl and little boy looking up to me, I am going to need help. I can’t imagine the fear I would have if this had happened when I was travelling. Knowing I wouldn’t be here to help sends a shiver down my spine. I can’t help but think about my contract ending and wondering what would be best for our collective future, I have people I need to consider now, it isn’t just me.
I’m sure my team are going to jump at the chance to spend more time with Jack and Ellis. The only obstacle I can foresee is Ellis being willing to accept more of that help. She’s so damn stubborn. I hope she will see it’s for the best.
For the first time since she got pregnant, I question if we can really do any of this alone.