Chapter 47
Lily
Several days pass, and Parker is now breathing on his own, but he’s still not alert.
I crawl into his bed every night to sleep next to him.
I was told I’m not allowed to do that, but all the nurses turn a blind eye and don’t kick me out.
It also helps that they know me; even though I work in a different department it doesn’t take long for word to spread through the whole hospital.
Tonight is no different. I intertwine my fingers with his as I settle against him and close my eyes.
After a few seconds I swear I feel him squeeze my hand, not hard, in fact it was so slight I’m convinced I imagined it.
But when it happens again, this time he squeezes for longer and my eyes shoot open.
I look at our hands and see him loosen his grip, so I know it’s real.
I sit up. “Parker? Can you hear me?” I start to cry once again.
He doesn’t respond, but does grip my hand again, and I collapse onto his chest. “I love you. I love you so much, please wake up.”
He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even squeeze my hand again and I settle back against him. I try not to feel disappointed because he gave me something. I just hope that tomorrow he’ll give me more.
As I’m drifting off to sleep, I swear I hear the smallest noise come from him. It’s not a word, more like a grunt or a groan from deep in his chest. I lay completely still waiting for more, but nothing happens. With that I finally fall asleep.
Over the last few days, I’ve had several dreams that take me back to when everything was better.
Then I wake up and reality smacks me in the face.
I dream of the field and lying in Parker’s truck.
I dream of the stars above us while our bodies come together.
I think about the times we snuck out, even when we didn’t need to.
I dream about times when Franki would love on me, only to turn around and hiss at Parker.
It just makes me miss the good times even more.
But as I start to wake up, I don’t even remember where I am. When I shift and hear my name mumbled in that deep timbre, I snuggle closer to the muscular chest that I wish I could imprint my face into.
“Lil,” he mumbles again, and I hum, shifting onto my side.
Then, I hear the beeping from a machine and remember I’m in the hospital. In a hospital bed. Parker’s hospital bed.
But Parker just said my na—
I shoot up into a sitting position, staring down at him. His face is pinched in pain, but his lips move again. Though I don’t hear anything because I’m jumping out of the bed, afraid I’m hurting him as I call out his name. “Parker?”
He shifts slightly, and his face scrunches even more. “Are you in pain?” I ask quickly, wanting to help him to take it away immediately.
He just groans, and I have never felt so helpless in my life. It’s like all my medical training has left my brain because I don’t know what to do. I want to help him, but I don’t know how. He’s awake. Oh my God he’s awake.
I want to tell him about our baby, and I’m about to do just that, but there’s a knock on the door. The nurse on shift walks in. “He’s awake!” I exclaim before she even finishes her greeting.
So much of the day is a blur while they run more tests on him, give him medication to make him comfortable.
I wait for more signs from him that he’s coming back to me.
Jackie comes back when several people are in the room and I see her panic right away, but I ease her mind, beelining it right to her. “He’s awake!”
“What?” she gasps.
I’m nodding aggressively. “I mean, he’s not completely awake, but he’s waking up.”
She lowers her voice. “Have you told him yet?”
I furrow my brows. “Told him what?”
She gives me a knowing look, glancing down to my stomach, then back up to my face where my jaw is dropped.
“How do you know?” I whisper yell.
“Mother’s intuition.” She smiles. “And you talk in your sleep.”
“Wha—I do not!”
“It’s probably from the stress. Or a symptom.” She winks.
“You haven’t told my mom, have you?” I ask, hopeful because I really want her to hear it from both Parker and me. But also, I know Jackie is best friends with my mom, and if I had to keep a secret from Sutton and Bailey I would struggle.
“Of course not, that’s your news to share when you’re ready.”
I pull her into a hug. I respect Jackie so much for raising Parker on her own and doing such an amazing job with him. I know how difficult it was for her; she’s always worked so hard to provide for him.
“Thank you so much for everything,” I tell her, fighting more tears because I’m done with crying. I’ve been done with crying, but now I really am.
I hope.
Parker is taken for more scans, and Jackie insists I go home for a little while. I made her promise to call me right away if something changes so I can come back.
I’m only going to go home to shower and change to feel fresh and clean and then come right back. Ethan was discharged yesterday, but I’ve been talking to my mom, and he’s still supposed to rest for a little while longer.
Walking into my house feels weird, but I’m greeted by Tulips.
Kneeling down to let her run into my arms. She licks my face as I hug her.
She follows me down to the basement where I start the shower, and continues to follow me to my room when I grab a change of clothes.
I feel like I have a shadow, and I can’t help wondering if she knows.
I kneel down, taking her fluffy face in both my hands and whispering, “You’re going to have a little brother or sister.”
She opens her mouth, her tongue dropping out in a pant, and it looks like she’s smiling.
I’m going to choose to believe she understands me and is happy about it.
I just hope she’ll also be happy with moving into Parker’s house as soon as he’s released from the hospital.
Because there’s not going to be a day we’re going to be apart, especially not now.
After I take a long, hot shower that makes me feel somewhat human, I change into clean, comfy clothes, and head upstairs to go back to the hospital.
My parents are in the living room; my mom is leaned against my dad’s shoulder, asleep while the TV is on, but the volume is so low I can’t hear it.
“How’s he doing?” I ask my dad quietly.
“He’s good. How’s Parker?”
“Starting to wake up,” I say proudly.
My dad nods. “Good. Hopefully he’ll be home soon as well.”
“I hope so. When he does, I’m going to move in with him,” I blurt because if I can’t tell them everything, I at least want to share something.
He gives me a small smile. “We figured as much.”
“Lily bug! Jizz!” Jerry Lee squawks.
“I hope Trish will be taking him back soon.” Dad sighs, and mom readjusts, but doesn’t fully wake up. Probably because she’s completely exhausted, and I don’t blame her.
“You’ll miss him,” I tease.
He just grunts in response, and I say goodbye to him and Tulips, who curls up on the rug before I head back to the hospital.
I’m impatiently waiting for Parker to be brought back into the room while Jackie and I chat trying to stay distracted.
I try my best to not blurt out everything, but when I’m nervous it gets so much worse.
I’ve already told her about the rubber duck obsessed man my college roommate had a crazy night with.
Now I’ve moved onto the animals I would hug if I could.
“I’m just saying if a manatee comes up to me, I’m touching it,” I insist. “If that’s what puts me in jail, then lock me up, I guess.”
She chuckles just as the door opens and Parker is being wheeled in on the hospital bed. I see the doctor walking in, following the techs that are pushing the bed.
“Things look better than we thought,” the doctor starts and I’m glad I was…
aggressive at the beginning that I didn’t want to be spoken to like an idiot.
“As you know he had some significant swelling and we were concerned about internal bleeding. The swelling has gone down, and internally he seems as okay as he can considering the trauma he sustained.”
“Has he woken up more?” Jackie asks.
“He’s made some noises, but hasn’t opened his eyes yet,” the doctor says.
I nod. “Thank you.”
After everyone leaves, I go back to Parker’s side, taking his hand in mine and hoping it will somehow jolt him awake or something. I squeeze his hand, but this time he doesn’t give me a reaction and my shoulders deflate.
Jackie must notice because she puts her hands on my shoulders. “He’s going to be okay, Lily. My son is so strong. You and I both know how much he hates having to be still. I bet he’s screaming in his mind to get him out of this bed.”
I let out a soft laugh as I think about that because she’s probably right. He’s going to wake up soon. I know it.
The rest of the day is uneventful; Jackie goes home to go to sleep because I insist. Then, I’m crawling into Parker’s bed, curling into his side and hoping that when I wake up, he’s going to be waking up with me.
I would like another birthday wish because I would be wishing for Parker to wake up with me.
I’m not sure how long I was asleep before I hear my name. Unlike last night where it was a mumble, this is clearer.
“Lil.”
I peel my eyes open; the room is mostly dark, but there’s a glow from under the door and the machines. He says my name again, and I turn to look at Parker and am met with the greatest sight ever. His blue eyes open, just barely, but they’re looking at me. And he’s talking.
“Parker.” I turn quickly, throwing myself on him, careful not to press all my weight onto him because he’s still injured. My face is wet with tears I can’t control while I sob into his shoulder.
I feel his arms wrap around me lightly, and I don’t want him to hurt himself. I pull back to tell him that, but his eyes are even more open, and I just can’t hold back anymore.
“Parker, we’re going to have a baby.”
He looks confused for a second like he’s processing what I just said, then he opens his mouth. His voice is deeper than usual and sounds like it hurts to talk. “Really?”
I nod aggressively. “Yeah, and I was so scared you—” I can’t even finish the darkest thoughts I had over these last few days.
He holds me even tighter; it seems like he’s using all his strength, but we both need this. “I’m not going anywhere, Lil.”