Chapter 17 Hope #2
“Heath’s mom. I talked to her.”
“As in greeted her?”
“As in had a long conversation with her.”
Her eyes fill with surprise. “Oh my God!”
“I know,” my voice comes out all panicky. “She talked to me about Heath and how she loves him but doesn’t know how to tell him. She asked me to come over later and help her talk to Heath.”
“Too much information, Hope. I can’t process it all at once.” She reminds me. “I’m still stuck on the part where you met her.”
“I can’t believe it happened. I met her and she has no idea that I’m his girlfriend.”
She gasps. “You didn’t tell her?”
“No. I don’t think Heath wants me to meet his parents.”
Softness flickers through her gaze. “That’s because he hates them and wants to keep his distance. He hasn’t introduced Sebastian and I to his parents.”
I look down in my lap. “She knows about you guys.”
“That’s because Kelly and Derek have told her, not Heath.”
“And not about me.”
“It isn’t like he’s hiding you or anything.”
I can barely utter a word so I give her a convincing smile.
It doesn’t work.
She frowns. “No! I mean it. He wouldn’t hide you. He kissed you in front of the entire school because he wanted everyone to know that you guys are together and nobody better fuck with you.”
She is right. If he wanted to hide me he wouldn’t have done that. Besides, he isn’t like that anyway. He doesn’t care what people think about him or say about him. All that matters to him are his own thoughts and beliefs.
“Heath isn’t hiding you. He’s just protecting you from his parents who always given him a hard time.”
I nod.
Marie goes silent for a minute. “Will you tell me everything that happened in the past twenty minutes that I left you? I really shouldn’t have. I swear I got a mini heart attack from hearing that news.”
Not wasting a second, I go into detail about everything and Marie’s face shows a wide range of reactions.
She shows her feelings on the outside, making it easy to trust her because you know it’s all real and genuine.
There’s no faking the worry, anger, happiness, fear and excitement she feels for me and how she wants the best for me.
I’m lucky that I have her as my best friend.
“She sounds sweet and sad.”
“I felt the same. I think she really loves Heath.”
She sighs. “Yeah, but she’s done an awful job at showing him. I know my parents love me because they’ve shown me it to me. I don’t doubt they’d risk everything for me.”
My mind only focuses on one bit. My parents love me.
Do my parents love me?
I mean, my mom does, but, she’s changed in the past few months.
Our connection isn’t the same anymore. She used to be my shield, my safe place and comfort blanket.
Now, she isn’t any of those. I told her about dad and she didn’t believe me.
And when she trusted me she found a way to blame me for what happened.
And my dad… he doesn’t love me. Not one bit. I’m not sure if he ever did.
My parents don’t love me.
A stab as piercing sharp as the tip of an arrow slices through my heart, sending jolts of pain through my chest. My breath gets stuck in my lungs and it’s impossible to breathe.
“Hope, are you okay?” Marie’s worried voice cuts through my panic.
“I’m…fine,” I wheeze out.
Suddenly the car becomes a cage to me. All I want to do is get out and be in the open.
“You don’t look fine at all. What’s happening?” Marie puts her hand on mine. I barely feel her touch.
I don’t know what’s happening.
I don’t why I’m reacting this way.
I don’t know how I can help myself.
The more I think the tighter my chest gets and my breaths fall short.
Marie moves over the console and wraps her arms around me, squeezing me against her until her warmth melts my frigid state.
I gasp and she rubs my back.
“Breathe, Hope. Breathe. Just breathe.”
I inhale a deep breath despite how hard it is.
“Great. You did it. Do it five more times. I’m counting.”
Opening my mouth, I take long breaths and exhale them out slowly. Marie counts and doesn’t speak a word which is something new. She is always talking.
If she spoke I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate with how distraught I feel right now.
When I’ve calmed down a little, she pulls back and looks me in the eyes.
“Focus on my eyes. What do you see?”
I stare into her eyes. “Hazel.”
“What hazel?”
I pause and study the color like I’ve never done before.
All my other thoughts scatter one by one until all my attention narrows down on her eyes.
Her beautiful eyes. I’ve never noticed before how insanely captivating they are.
A sea of soft moss green with brown, the shade of autumn leaves, spreading out in waves around the black circle.
“Brown and green, but mostly brown.”
“Are there gold flecks? Sebastian says there are.”
I blink and look closer. “He is right. There are a few.”
She pulls back and heaves out a dramatic sigh. “You are okay. Finally.”
It takes me a moment to gather myself. My whole body is flushed due to the wave embarrassment that washes over me because of the fact that Marie saw me have a panic attack. All because of one sentence.
My parents don’t love me.
I shiver as that thought comes back, so I quickly shove it to the back of my mind and turn my head towards her. “Thank you,” I murmur.
“You don’t need to thank me. That’s what friends do. Make each other feel better. That’s one of the many rules of friendship Sebastian taught me. One day you’ll know all of them.”
I stay silent, not knowing what to say.
Marie’s eyes soften and she says, “What happened that made me so anxious?”
“Just my thoughts.”
“About what?”
I hesitate and she senses the long pause that I take.
Reaching over, she gives me a hug. “I’m here for you always. Tell me when you feel like it. No pressure at all.”
I wrap my arms around her neck. “Thanks, Marie, for everything. I just need time to think about it myself first.”
“I know. Don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure?”
“More than a thousand percent.” She pulls back and shoots me a genuine smile. “Let’s head back to our boyfriends.”
Just then my phone starts pinging with messages all from Heath.
Marie laughs as she starts the engine. “Heath is so obsessed with you.”
“That’s not true.”
“The twenty messages say otherwise.”
He calls me and Marie proudly grins.