Chapter 23 Heath
HEATH
“I need help,” I grumble as I pace in front of my bed.
“Help with what?” Sebastian asks, eating my mom’s blueberry muffins on my bed, his face full of delight.
Clearly, he loves them, and if he keeps this up our united front will be cracked.
My relationship with my mother is fairly new.
She needs to know that I’m not over the shit she put me through for years. That she has a lot to make up for.
My mind is brimming with anxious thoughts, otherwise, I would’ve said something about it or the fucking crumbs falling off his mouth and occupying my duvet. I don’t like mess.
“I asked her out on a date,” I announce.
He stops eating. “Really?”
I give him a curt nod.
Closing his eyes, he lets his head fall back. “Finally!”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I feel so happy.” He sounds so dramatic.
“Will you just tell me—”
“It took you months to ask her out when you should’ve done it after a while meeting her. You were down bad for her since the first day.”
My face tingles with heat. “That is not true.”
“It is,” he asserts.
My lack of response makes him grin. He is right. I was goner for Rose the first time I saw her. I just didn’t know about it until later.
I turn my head to look away when my gaze locks on the bookshelf that is lined with romance books. If I pick out one of the bunch, I’d be able to get all the help I need to plan the date. But I want to do something special. Something that makes her happy.
“Wait a second.” Sebastian gets up from my bed and makes a beeline towards the bookshelf. “When did this get here?”
“While you were busy eating those damn muffins.” I mock.
He throws me a look over the shoulder. “Be serious.”
“Yesterday. I built it for my girlfriend.”
“What the fuck?” He gasps. “You’ve never built me shit.”
My eyes roll at his comment.
After a long moment he says, “This looks good, Heath.”
“Hope liked it too.”
“I’m sure.” He smiles. “Also, there are romance books. I bet she can’t wait to get to your room to see her books.”
“Do you know why I built it?” I ask, my chest getting tight as I remember the reason.
“Why?” He looks back at me.
Anger burns through me like a scorching trail of fire as my fingers curl into fists by my side.
“Her father ripped apart her books,” I grit out.
Sebastian goes rigid and his face turns stone.
With a scoff, I continue, “That’s not even the fucking worst part. He took away all the money that she made from selling bracelets and hurt her. He hit her so hard that he split her lip”
Tension grips like a vine and I can hardly breathe.
I can’t take it if someone hurts Hope. I can’t. And knowing there is someone who can get to her and I can’t do anything about it makes me sick to my stomach.
How long will this continue?
What is going to happen next?
Is there going to be an end to it?
She isn’t safe in that house. It’s not a home. It’s a cage that she can’t break free. Her mother is controlling and her dad is cruel. And together they cause her pain. I can’t fathom how she’s survived with such parents for this long.
“Hey!” Sebastian shoves me and I stumble a little as I lose my balance, but gain it quickly.
“What?” I glare at him.
“You looked like you were plotting someone’s murder,” he says. “It’s her dad, isn’t it?”
I scoff. “Of course, it’s him.”
Sebastian sighs. “You can’t do it and you know that. We have to be reasonable and smart to figure out a way out of this.”
“Shut up!”
He grabs my shoulder and squeezes hard, making me look at him. “I mean it, Heath. You can’t do it.”
“You can’t tell me what to do or not to do.”
His green eyes soften a fraction. “I know. That’s why I’m ordering you.”
My eyes widen at his words.
Pain crosses his face. “I saw you get behind the bars. I don’t ever want to see it again.” He has to take a deep breath to continue, “There are other ways for us to help her. Not for you to run head first into it.”
Frustration bubbles like lava under my skin as I think that if roles were reversed—which they were a year ago—he would’ve done anything to save the girl he loves.
My best friend had no right standing here and ordering me to not chase after the girl who desperately needed help because she couldn’t be protected from that monster.
Someone had to run headfirst to save her and it was me. Because I loved her.
I was starting to realize that where these pesky ignoring things called feelings were concerned, rationality didn’t exist.
The concept of safe and dangerous was fucking lost on me. The only thing I cared about was taking care of my girlfriend.
“You do know that I fucking love her, right?” I hiss.
He nods. “I know and I’m happy for you. But this is a huge problem. We are talking about domestic violence, emotional and physical abuse. And it’s not just her father, her mother is as much of a problem.”
He couldn’t be more right.
A weight so heavy and hard starts to settle on my shoulders and I can’t help but feel like I need to sit down. Rounding the couch, I take a seat and lean my head back and stare at the ceiling.
I feel lost, worried and terrified. It’s like a fucking cocktail of those emotions stirring inside of me and I’m getting drunk on it.
Sebastian joins me and stares at me with a troubled gaze.
Clasping his hand on my shoulder, he says, “I’m here for you.”
I smile. “I know, thanks.”
He chuckles. “She’s changed you.”
Turning my head, I shoot him a glare.
He quickly sobers up. “So, the date?”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“What do you have in mind?”
I shoot him an exasperated look. “That’s exactly what I don’t fucking know.”
Sebastian thinks for a minute then says, “Library?”
I shake my head. “Too predictable.”
“She loves that place.”
Don’t I know it. “I want to take her somewhere she hasn’t been to.”
“Inside your pants?”
I shove him. “Fuck off. It isn’t like that with her.”
He laughs. “Oh, so you’re keeping it PG 13, huh?”
“I’m being careful with her.”
Picking up the Doritos from the coffee table, he opens it, and starts munching. “And how is it going for your blue balls?”
“Just fucking great.”
He nods. “You sound sexually frustrated.”
“I’m not,” I snarl, my hackles rising up in defiance.
I am.
He has no idea just how bad.
“You are.” He reads my mind. “I bet the porn isn’t helping either.”
“Can we not talk about it and instead focus on the date?” I deadpan.
He shakes his head. “It is important too.”
“Sebastian drop it!”
“Have you talked to her about sex? You should because—”
“She said she wants me but I’m the one taking it slow, because I want to do the right thing.”
He pauses and his gaze locks on me. “Did you seriously reject sex?”
Letting out a tired sigh, I slowly nod. “I did.”
“Clearly, you haven’t done it before because if you did you’d know that you don’t reject a girl—especially a girl like Hope—when she asks for it.
Do you know how much courage it takes to even ask for it?
” He muses, “Of course there are times when you reject like when she’s drunk, high or sleepy.
Basically when consent is blurred. And yes, consent is very important. ”
My head rolls with all this information.
Reject. Girl like Hope. Courage. Consent.
Despite, my brain yelling me to not do it. I still do.
“So I should have sex with her?”
He nods. “Yes.”
“But with everything happening at her home with her parents. Maybe she isn’t in her right mind—”
“She is. She wants you because you’re her safe place. She wants to be close to you.”
“I want to make it special for her.”
I can see that he wants to laugh in my face but he fights the urge.
Good for him because I can’t say I wouldn’t hit.
Fine, I understand that it is foreign for me to talk about this sort of thing.
We never talked about girls, feelings or sex.
But that was before Marie and Rose walked into our lives and flipped over our fucking worlds.
Nothing is the same anymore. And I’m glad it isn’t.
We needed the change. We needed the good.
And those two are good for us. Way too fucking good.
“I think instead of special you should focus on making it comfortable for her.”
I study him in confusion. “Why wouldn’t it be comfortable for her?”
He watches at me as if I’ve grown two heads.
When he doesn’t answer, I start growing anxious.
For fuck’s sake. I know nothing about girls and now I have a girlfriend.
Sebastian finally regains some composure. “That is a talk for another time. And until then, don’t even think about sex. Because clearly we have a lot to cover.”
“Fuck off,” I say embarrassed—I’ve never been embarrassed in my life before. “I’ll look it up on the internet.”
He hums. “Yeah, it’s better because otherwise I’d be traumatized giving you the talk.”
“I know how it’s done,” I add, letting him know that I’m not a complete idiot.
“So does every other guy,” he retorts. “But it’s not about us. It’s about the girl. We—nope. I’m not going there today. Let’s just focus on the date for now.”
“Help me out then.” I kick my feet over the table.
“Whatever you do, just make sure you guys have a good time.”
I grimace. “I want her to have a good time.”
He nods. “Yes, but you are important too.”
I roll my eyes. “You are getting extra annoying today.”
“Just taking care of my best friend.”
“You don’t need to. I’m fine.”
Sebastian sighs. “Then I’m gonna make sure you stay that way.”