15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
Mia
M ia
While we wandered through the grocery store like an old, married couple, I tried to ignore the stares. For the most part, I was finding success. Wherever I went, I attracted attention, and I hadn’t exactly gone incognito in my short skirt and glittery top. Got to flaunt it while I still got it.
“The whole town will think you’re shacked up with a stripper.” I popped my gum and tossed a bag of kale into the cart.
“You really think most of these people don’t know who you are?”
I pointed to my head and face. “I’m wearing a hat and sunglasses inside at the beginning of April in New York State. Clearly, this is a disguise.” At his sideways glance of amusement, I grinned. “I actually thought there might still be snow on the ground. That’s why I packed so much stuff.” Didn’t explain why I had chosen to wear so little out of the house. Without a doubt, my nipples would try to leave my body in the frozen food aisle.
“That’s why you packed so much stuff?” His voice was full of disbelief.
“Well.” I laughed. “Maybe I just like clothes.” With another glance around, I shrugged. “No one has asked me for an autograph or a selfie. Am I in an alternate universe where I’m not famous? ”
“You actually want people to ask you for those things in the grocery store?” He stopped walking and squinted.
“If I don’t want to be seen, I stay home.” I flipped my hair onto my shoulder. “That’s what my mom always says. Leaving the house is an agreement to be social, to be on, to be accessible.”
“You mean, your manager.” He picked up some apples and examined them before putting them back.
“Sure, my momager. I learned a long time ago the two roles aren’t separate. She might try to separate them once in a while, but she can’t.” Short of firing her as my manager, I wasn’t sure what I could do. Easier, and probably simpler, to fire Laura from being my mother.
“Hmm…” Tyler plucked an apple and dropped it in the clear plastic bag and then grabbed a few more.
“Tyler?”
We both looked up, startled at the interruption. When I saw who it was, I slid my hand across Tyler’s back. Danai’s gaze followed my hand, her lips tightening.
“I didn’t realize you were back in town,” Danai said.
Before he could speak, I jumped in. “Just got here last night. I don’t think we’ve met.” I extended the hand that wasn’t perched on Tyler’s broad shoulder. “I’m Mia Malone.” Danai accepted my hand in a loose, brief shake.
“I know who you are. The grocery store was buzzing when I walked in the doors with the news you were wandering the aisles. I didn’t realize you were with Tyler.”
“Yep.” That sounded better. People were talking about me at least. I smiled wide. “I’m with Tyler.” When I turned to him, he was searching my expression .
“You’re such a puzzle,” he said.
“What can I say, I have an addiction to them.” I flushed.
“That you do.” He gave me one last sweeping glance before focusing on Danai. “It’s nice to see you. Sorry, I haven’t called. The tour was hectic, and we just got into town. You’re doing well?”
“Very well,” Danai said. “Things are great. The tour was good?”
“I survived. Happy to be home.” A brief smile flashed across his face.
My heart sank, and I straightened, letting my hand fall off his shoulder. I grabbed an apple and slipped it into the bag dangling from Tyler’s fingers. I’d been reduced to an experience he survived.
When Danai wandered away, he slid his arm around my shoulders and tugged me into his side, his lips brushing against my hat. “Don’t read into what I said. I liked being on tour with you.”
“So, why would you say that to her?”
“Because it’s true. I survived the tour, and I am happy to be home. I survived the tour because of you, and I’m happy to be home, because you’re here too. I wasn’t going to give her some big, long story when her presence made you uncomfortable.”
“Just, you know, ballpark figure. How many ex-girlfriends am I going to come face-to-face with in this town?” I tipped my hat and slid down my sunglasses to make eye contact.
“How far back are we going? ’Cause if we’re going back to kindergarten, you’re in trouble. Those were my player days.”
“That was a serious question.” I smacked him in the chest, and he chuckled.
“You’ve got nothing to worry about. While you’re here, I’ve only got eyes for you, okay?” Our gazes locked, a fire smoldering. “You need your ego stroked, let me know, and I’ll look after it. ”
A sly grin tipped the edges of my lips, and I polished the apple in my hand against my breasts. “I wouldn’t mind stroking your ego, Pretty Boy.” I gave him an exaggerated wink.
“If that isn’t an incentive to forget the groceries and head straight home, I don’t know what is.” He laughed and tugged me against his side again.
“Sorry,” I said with a grin. “You gotta feed us. Doctor’s orders.”
“Oh.” Tyler brushed back the strands of my hair that had fallen forward away from my hat. “I’ll feed you all right.”
I was giddy. How had I missed that he was this much fun? “I’m going to need more than a cockmeat sandwich.”
A laugh so loud it drew attention from everyone in the produce section burst out of him. Pride flooded me. I did that; I made him laugh so wholeheartedly. Another emotion I didn’t recognize followed, swelling my chest. He was amazing. How had I managed to meet someone so amazing?
“All right,” Tyler said when his laughter faded to a grin. “Tell me what’s on your list since you already vetoed mine.”
“You know what I’d really like?” I stared into the half-full grocery cart. None of it was appealing.
He stared at me expectantly.
“A burger from the same place as last time, the one Pasha recommended.” At my insistence, Pasha had stayed outside the grocery store by the entrance. He hadn’t been happy about it. Perhaps this would smooth over his grumpy attitude and satisfy my craving for red meat.
“Burgers, it is,” he agreed. “Let’s pay for this and give Pasha the good news.”
I couldn’t stop staring at him as he moved around the kitchen, eating one of his burgers and getting himself and Pasha beers. He’d already slid a glass of water across the island to me. Pasha was hunched over his bag of burgers, steadily working his way through them, each one making him grunt less and talk more.
When the bag was empty, he stood up, took the mountain of burger wrappers around him, and threw them into the garbage. “I walk house. Then bed. Long day.”
“Thank you.” I ran my hand down his arm and smiled at him.
He patted my head and slipped out the back door. Even though Pasha was only thirty, he often seemed so much wiser. A protective big brother.
“Do you have that sort of relationship with all your bodyguards?” Tyler tipped his beer and took a long swallow.
“No.” I pressed my water glass between my palms. “He told me a few weeks ago that I remind him of his little sister back in Russia.”
“Makes sense.” He nodded and set his empty bottle in the sink. “He seems attached to you. Why do you like him?”
“I’ve never worried he’ll betray me.” I gave him a fleeting smile. “A quality I don’t take for granted in anyone anymore.” I swept up my burger wrapper and took it to the garbage next to Tyler. After I dropped it in, I glanced up at him. “Jealous?”
“I’m not sure.” His lips quirked up into an almost smile. “Curious, definitely. Maybe it’s jealousy of a sort. You rely on him. You trust him.”
“Want to know what I like about you? ”
“You mean besides my sweat smelling like jasmine?” His eyes brimmed with affection.
A soft laugh tumbled out, and I rose on my toes, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Besides that. Though, it is incredible anyone’s sweat can smell so good. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were magic.”
“So, what is it, then?” He nuzzled under my ear, and I sighed with contentment. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this relaxed and at peace with my life.
“Your honesty. You’ll tell me the truth, even if I don’t like it.”
“I’m trying.” He took a deep breath and kissed my bare shoulder before meeting my gaze again. “I can’t say I’ve ever been this honest with anyone else.”
His admission was comforting and frustrating. He wouldn’t tell me the one thing I really wanted to know. Why had he and Katie split up? Who’d broken up with whom? Asking him right now would destroy this mood, and I definitely didn’t want to do that.
Pasha came back in through the sliding side door and waved without looking at us directly. “All okay. I go bed and read. Call you need me.” He flipped the lock into place and moved the metal bar down to secure the doors. He ambled along the hallway without a backward glance.
“A reader.” Tyler’s voice was pitched low. “Never would have guessed.”
“In Russian.” I laughed and sprang onto my toes for a quick kiss. “He’s tried to teach me a few words, but I’m useless. He’s smarter than me.”
“Necessity breeds some skills. You don’t need Russian, or you’d learn it. ”
“One skill I have to relearn is how to write music. Or find my rhythm again. It’s been forever.”
“Your guitar and keyboard should be delivered to the train station tomorrow. We can go pick them up, or I can drop you off there to write on my way to the store.”
I scanned the open kitchen and living room, and a pang of contentment hit me. This would be a good place to write. If I needed a break, there was a kitchen and a TV and the internet. The only thing I’d have at the train station was the studio. There was lots of time to be holed up there alone.
“Here, I think.” I gazed up at him. “Is that okay?”
“Wherever you think you’ll work best. Whatever will make you happiest.”
Warmth spread across my chest at his words. He made me happy. For the moment, being here with him made me happy. Had I ever experienced this lightness, this freeness before? As though I could take on the world and win.
Lacing my fingers with his, I led him toward the basement stairs.
“You tired?” he asked as he trod down the stairs behind me.
“Nope.” I glanced at him over my shoulder.
“You want my help with something?” He squeezed my hand, and his tone was teasing.
“I’ve got an itch only you can scratch.” At the bottom of the stairs, I turned in his arms.
“Oh, yeah?” He dipped his head to rub his scruff along the most sensitive part of my neck. I clung to his arms, desire shooting from my neck to my toes. “Is it there or somewhere else?” His gruff voice made my legs tremble .
“Just,” I whispered, sliding his hand along my thigh and up under my skirt to where I was already throbbing with need, “here.”
Two of his fingers circled in a slow, leisurely movement. “Like this?”
I clung to his shoulders and then tugged his lips to mine, our mouths sliding over each other, tongues tangling. When he increased the pressure of his fingers, I gasped into his mouth and squeezed his biceps.
“Too much?”
“No, God, no. More.” My lips collided with his, and I pressed closer.
His hands slid around my ass and lifted me, so my legs circled his waist. With a few quick strides, he had me against the doorframe of his bedroom, his tongue in my mouth, and my hands tangled in his hair.
I couldn’t remember the last time I was this turned on by so little. Had our encounter been this good, this desperate last time?
“I want you so badly.” I moaned when his tongue flicked along my earlobe and then returned to my mouth. His erection pressed against my core, and when he shifted his grip, he rubbed against me. “Oh, God,” I breathed. “Do that again.”
One of his hands secured our lower bodies together against the door while his other dug into my hair, kissing me deeply as he thrust against me. He broke the kiss, his breath heavy in my ear as he thrust against me again.
There were still too many pieces of clothing between us, but the friction was amazing. I wanted this tingling, breathtaking feeling to go on forever. Already, I was close to coming and could feel my climax building.
“I’ve been thinking about this all day, burying myself deep inside of you, feeling you come around my cock.” His voice was gruff with need .
Weeks. I’d been thinking about being with him for weeks. Too long. I ran my fingers through his hair and brought his mouth back, our tongues tangling, and he pressed us tight together before walking us to his king-sized bed.
He laid me on the duvet, and when his fingertips skimmed my panties, he groaned. “You’re so wet.”
I tangled my fingers in the bottom of his shirt, tugging it over his head and tossing it onto the floor. I ran my hands along his chest before leaning up and flicking his nipple with my tongue. He groaned and pulled my shirt over my head, releasing my bra with a snap of his fingers. All of it he tossed aside, not caring where it landed.
“Gorgeous,” he muttered, bending his head to take each breast into his mouth, sucking on each nipple before grazing them with his teeth.
My hands were buried in his hair, keeping him close, silently begging him for more. I couldn’t get enough, didn’t know if I’d ever get enough.
While he teased my breasts, his hands shimmied my skirt and panties to the floor. I reached for the button on his jeans, but he shook his head.
“Not yet.” He skimmed my folds with his fingertips.
“Tyler,” I moaned.
He spread my legs and then dipped down between them, his tongue lapping me up. “God, you’re so wet, so sweet. I could eat you all day.”
“We could arrange that,” I murmured, arching my hips, squirming with need. I dug my fingers into his hair. All day in bed with him sounded like the best day ever. I ran my hand along his shoulders, feeling the muscles contract and release. There wasn’t anything about him I didn’t like. To think I hesitated to sleep with him again, had honestly believed we wouldn’t fuck again. Being with him was so good; he was so good.
When his finger dipped inside and his thumb circled my clit while he continued licking, I gripped the sheets as my body wound tight. My breathing was labored. “Please. Tyler, please.”
“What do you need, Mini?” His rough voice sent shivers down my spine. There was so much want in it, so much desire. “Tell me what you need.”
“I need you inside me. I want to feel you inside me when I come.” I gripped his hair, encouraging him up. His jeans were still on, and I fumbled with the button.
When he backed off, I tried to reach for him.
“No, come back.”
He chuckled and unzipped his pants, letting them drop to the floor. Our gazes locked when he shed his boxers. I curled my finger in a come-hither gesture, and he smirked before crawling along my body, kissing every inch as he worked his way back to my mouth.
“Have I scratched the itch yet?” he muttered in my ear.
“Close. So close,” I whimpered, reaching between us to stroke his silky length.
“Tell me how you want it.”
“Inside me,” I said.
“I got that part.” He kissed the side of my lips.
“I want to be so close to you I don’t know where you end, and I begin.”
He drew back and our gazes connected. He slid one hand under my head, and his other slipped under my butt, tipping my hips. I felt him brush against my entrance. For a moment, he scanned my face, and the room came alive with something more complicated than sexual attraction. I didn’t recognize the emotion, but I wanted to bask in the implied tenderness, wanted to cling to it. I’d never been with someone who so obviously cared about me. Intoxicating.
He opened his mouth as though to speak and then shook his head before pressing his forehead against mine. “As close as we can get.” He angled his head and captured my lips as he drove into me, his hands adjusting our bodies until my clit brushed against him with each thrust.
When I arched my back, he met me, burying himself deeper, stroking longer. The rhythm was heaven, and the slow build inside made my toes tighten in anticipation.
“You feel so good.” My fingernails dug into his ass. “Don’t stop, okay? Just don’t stop.”
His pace was slow and glorious, each thrust propelling me closer to the edge. We were locked so tightly that we were slick with sweat, and the scent of jasmine filled my senses. I’d never smell it again and not think of him, of this.
“Tell me when you’re close, Mini.”
“Are you?” I spanned his back with my hands. The edge was there, just there.
“From the minute we came downstairs.” Our gazes locked, and he whispered, “All I think about is you.”
“Tyler,” I moaned. “Holy—I’m coming. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.”
He drew me tighter, his rhythm steady, our lips finding each other as he swallowed my cries. I’d never had an orgasm so intimate, so connected. Despite my history, I’d always liked sex. But sex had never been like this.
His cheek was pressed to mine, and his labored breath was in my ear. “You feel so good. I can’t—”
“It’s okay.” My fingers wound into his hair. “I want you to come inside me.”
And then he was kissing me again as a tremor rocked through him, and I felt him pulsing inside, spilling a seed that had already been planted.
If there was anything better than this feeling with him, I’d never experienced it before.
I traced figure eights on his chest and sighed with contentment. “So, if you’re a relationship guy and you don’t normally do the whole one-night stand thing, why did you sleep with me after the benefit concert?”
Ever since we’d cuddled up, the difference in all my sexual experiences kept playing in my mind. I understood sex could be this crazy connection between people, but I’d never felt it—until now, with him, and I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to go back to what sex had been before. Why would Tyler settle for the disconnected, if pleasurable, sex we had in my hotel room? There was no way that was good enough after experiencing something like what we’d just done.
He sighed and slipped one hand behind his head while the other rested on my hip, keeping me snug. “My dad died a few days before the concert. I was staring down the path of my life, what it had become, and I wasn’t sure I liked what I saw.”
“Really?” I frowned and went onto my elbow to gaze down at him. “You weren’t happy?”
“Not really, no.” He wouldn’t meet my gaze, keeping his trained on the ceiling. “So, when you asked me to your room, I didn’t figure I had anything to lose. ”
I wove my fingers into the short strands of his hair. The reddish-brown-gold shade was so pretty. Would the baby have his hair color? Or would it end up dark like mine? Or some shade in between? “One decision set off a bomb in both our lives.”
“That’s how you see it?” A brief smile flickered across his face. “A bomb?” He turned onto his side, so we were face-to-face.
“Don’t you? Everything’s changed—complete change. None of us will ever be the same.” Truthfully, our situation terrified me.
For a minute, he searched my face, his eyes brimming with kindness, and my heart squeezed. “I guess you could see the baby as a bomb. I don’t. This is more like the seasons are changing. Yeah, everything is different, but you can find beauty in change too.”
I love you.
The thought was so swift, so sudden, so all-consuming, I gasped and shifted away from him. “Holy shit.”
“Mia, what’s going on?” He chuckled and tried to pull me back, but I resisted.
“What? No, nothing. Nothing. I just—is that the time?” I pointed to the nightstand clock. “I didn’t realize it was so late. Sleep sounds so good right now.” My heart galloped in my chest, and the instinct to run, and run, and run was impossible to resist. Sleep was the last thing on my mind, but I couldn’t tell Tyler my fleeting, ridiculous thought. He’d laugh. I should be laughing. In love with him? I hardly knew him.
Whatever just crossed my mind wasn’t love.
I loved the way his mind worked.
And the way he always smelled like jasmine.
And how he treated me like an equal, never condescending, never like an object .
And how he could make me laugh one minute and kill me with his sincerity the next.
And how the muscles bulged in his arms when he tugged me close.
But I didn’t love him .
“It’s nine o’clock. You normally stay up until all hours of the morning.”
“Sure, yeah, when I’m on tour . But when I’m not on tour, I always go to bed super early.” I scrambled off the bed, gathering my scattered clothes, and I headed for the door. “That was fun. We should definitely do it again.” With a quick wave, I tugged the bedroom door tight and tried to block out the bewildered expression on his face.
Outside of his door, I took a deep breath and then let out a soft chuckle.
Love .
Impossible. More like hormones . That was it. My shoulders eased down, all the tension leaving. Of course! The rush of love came from the baby.
That flood of emotion was just the baby.