Chapter Seven
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GRAHAM HAD NO IDEA what was happening between him and Emory. Hell, he had no idea if anything was happening between them. Maybe he was seeing things. Maybe he was delusional.
But something between them had changed. There was no denying that. He hadn’t expected Emory to visit him in his bedroom, or to bring him food. Emory hadn’t exactly been avoiding him before, but he also hadn’t looked for him. He hadn’t sat next to him during meals on purpose.
He hadn’t asked him not to leave.
Emory had done all those things now, and Graham had been thinking about it since the day of the storm.
He’d also been keeping an eye on Emory since then, just in case, and he could see that the dragon was still sore.
Emory would never admit it because if he did, he’d have to admit the truth to the mages, and they’d fuss over him—when they weren’t scolding him for being an idiot.
Graham suspected that Emory had had enough of that with him.
He knew he was hovering. He’d done the same right after the fight with Carlyle.
He wanted to reassure himself that everything would be all right.
He’d almost lost Emory, and while he wasn’t sure he had the right to feel the way he did when it came to that, he couldn’t help it. He wanted Emory to be okay.
That was why when he noticed Emory sitting on a bench in the courtyard, he went downstairs. No one else would’ve managed to drag him out of his bedroom, but Emory did.
When he heard Graham coming toward him, he looked up and smiled, and it felt like the sun was coming out. Graham couldn’t remember the last time anyone had been happy to see him. It had been a while.
“You’re out of your bedroom,” Emory said, patting the bench where he was sitting in a clear sign that he wanted Graham to sit with him.
Graham did so, leaving enough space between them that another person could sit there if they wanted.
He doubted anyone would join them, though.
As welcoming as the mages and their dragons had been, he knew they were wary of him.
He didn’t blame them. He’d be wary of himself, too, if he was in their place.
It was enough for him that they hadn’t kicked him out and that they didn’t seem to be planning to.
“You not resting,” he said once he was settled.
“Why should I be resting?”
“I can see you’re still sore.”
Emory blinked. “How? No one’s even asked me if I was okay. I think I’m doing a pretty good job of hiding it.”
“You are. I don’t think anyone else has noticed, but don’t think I don’t know that you haven’t asked one of the mages to heal you. Any one of them would do so happily, even if it’s not their specialty.”
“I don’t need them wasting their magic on me.”
“I don’t think they would see it as wasting their magic. They like you.”
Graham could feel Emory watching him. He wanted to ask what he was seeing, but he was afraid. “They like you, too,” Emory eventually said.
Graham snorted softly. “I’m sure some of them do.
They don’t know me, though.” And it was partially Graham’s fault.
He just wasn’t sure how to correct that.
No matter how many times they told him he was welcome to stay with them for as long as he wanted, it still wouldn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like he should be there.
He couldn’t help but wonder if he’d eventually start feeling differently.
Would the castle ever feel like home? He hadn’t been there that long, so he hoped so.
He might have been planning on leaving, but he didn’t actually want to.
It scared him. He’d been with his brother all of his life, but now, he was completely alone.
He didn’t know how to be self-reliant. What if he lost his job and couldn’t pay rent?
What if he couldn’t find a job that paid enough for him to be okay?
He’d end up on the streets, and that was a terrifying thought.
It wasn’t only that, though. At the castle, even if he stayed in his bedroom most of the time, he still had company.
He knew there were people around him, and when he had dinner with them, it made him feel less alone.
He tried to give the mages and their dragons as much space as possible because this was their home, but sometimes, it was nice to spend time with them.
He knew that some of them didn’t want him there, and it could feel awkward sometimes, but he didn’t need much.
He just needed to feel like someone cared.
He swallowed and glanced at Emory. The man was still watching him. Graham wasn’t sure if he liked it or if it made him uncomfortable. It definitely made him want to squirm. He didn’t know what Emory was thinking, and he wished he did.
“No one really knows you,” Emory finally said. “You made sure of that.”
Graham wasn’t offended by the words because they were right. He had made sure of that. “I doubt that Tyne would want to know what my favorite color is,” he murmured.
“Maybe not, but he’s not all the mages. He’s definitely not me, and I do want to know your favorite color.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
Graham thought about Emory’s dragon form. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself, but he felt like he would if he opened his mouth.
Instead, he shook his head. “You should see one of the mages if you’re still in pain,” he said.
If Emory was surprised at the change of topic in conversation, he didn’t say anything about it. He stayed silent for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t think it’s necessary.”
“Maybe not, but they’d be happy to help you.”
“It’s just muscle soreness. I’m fine. My headache is gone, and I’m sure that I’ll feel like new soon.”
“Will you feel well enough to fly?”
“I always feel well enough to fly.”
“Why are you sitting on this bench, then?”
Emory grinned. “You think you’re so smart.”
“I know I am. You’d be flying if you felt well enough to do it.”
“Maybe, but I promise I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”
Graham thought he would always worry about Emory.
He wasn’t sure why he’d latched onto him the way he had, but he suspected it had to do with losing his brother.
He’d always taken care of Simon, and now that he didn’t have to anymore, he felt a little lost. Taking care of Emory had helped with that, and thinking about him was helping Graham not obsess over what his next step would be.
He knew he’d need to leave eventually, but he didn’t feel ready to do it. It helped that Emory had basically forbidden him to do so. It made Graham feel guilty, but he could tell himself that it wasn’t his fault, at least for now.
Emory wanted him to stay. Graham didn’t know how long that would last, but he would enjoy every second of it.
* * * *
GRAHAM CLEARLY KNEW Emory too well, which was confusing because he wasn’t supposed to. They hadn’t really talked until recently. Graham had been there for Emory when Emory had been wounded, and he’d saved his life, but that hadn’t made them friends.
But Emory felt like they were now.
It was in the way Graham grinned at him, in the way Graham teased him and found himself comfortable enough to do so. When he was with Emory, he wasn’t as stiff and quiet as he was with everyone else, and Emory liked that. He wanted to be the one to put a smile on Graham’s lips.
And he was. He didn’t think he’d seen Graham smile more than he did when they were together.
He still didn’t know why that was, but he had an inkling, even though he didn’t want to think about that right now.
It felt too fragile. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Graham, although he had to be careful about himself, too.
Graham looked away. Emory blinked, realizing they’d been staring at each other for at least a few minutes. He tilted his face toward the sun, smiling at the feeling of the warmth on his skin. “Sometimes, it still feels weird to think I can go fly,” he said.
“Because you weren’t able to for so long?
” Graham’s voice was soft, as if he was afraid to say the wrong thing.
It was like he didn’t want to remind Emory of what he’d been through, but it was impossible for Emory to forget it.
He didn’t need reminders for it to be in his mind all the time, although he hoped that would eventually change.
For now, though, all of that was too fresh.
“I’m afraid that I’ll try to shift and nothing will happen,” Emory confessed. “I know it’s stupid. My dragon’s back for good, and I won’t ever let anyone with magic bond with me again. No one will be able to take my dragon from me a second time.”
“It’s not stupid,” Graham said as he pulled his feet up onto the bench and wrapped his arms around his knees.
“You spent decades stuck in your human form. It actually makes sense that sometimes, you’re afraid to shift because it might happen again.
You haven’t had your dragon back for long. I’m sure you’ll get used to it soon.”
“Will you fly with me when I do?”
Graham blinked. “You want me to fly with you?”
“Wouldn’t you want to?” Emory was surprised to realize that he meant it.
He did want to go fly with Graham. Graham wasn’t a dragon, so he could never fully experience what shifting and flying meant, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fly at all.
If they ever flew together, Emory would make sure that Graham had fun.
He deserved that. He deserved many things, even though he didn’t act like he thought he did.
Graham looked up at the sky. “I don’t think I’m meant to be up there.”
“Everyone’s meant to be up there.”
“I would have wings if I was, wouldn’t I? Or I would be a mage who has a dragon. But even though Carlyle was my ancestor, I didn’t get one drop of magic. Simon didn’t, either.”
“You having magic or not doesn’t matter.” In fact, him not having magic made it easier for Emory. It meant that he didn’t have to be afraid that Graham would hurt him the way Carlyle had. Emory could relax.
“I think the closest I should come to flying is going on a plane. You don’t have to offer that to me to make me feel better.”
Graham always did that. He always found excuses for people when they offered him things. He probably believed them, too.
He believed that Emory was offering because he felt he owed him.
He believed that the mages and the dragons had told him to stay at the castle because he’d saved Emory’s life, not because they liked him and wanted to help him.
Tyne hadn’t made that any easier on him, but Emory hated that Graham felt that way.
Had anyone ever done something for him just because they could? Emory knew that Graham didn’t have a family, but he’d had his brother until recently. What kind of man had Simon been?
Well, he’d been the kind of man who worked with Carlyle, so maybe Emory shouldn’t be surprised.
He wanted Graham to understand that he wasn’t offering because he felt obligated, though.
“I’m not offering to make you feel better,” he told Graham.
“I’m offering because I miss flying with someone, because I think you’ll like it.
Being there, flying, it makes you feel free.
I feel like maybe you need to feel like that for a little while. ”
“I am free already.”
“Now you’re the one who’s playing stupid. You know what I mean.”
Graham hesitated, then shrugged. “Maybe I do. Maybe I’m just not sure I should accept the offer.”
“If you don’t want to, it’s fine, but I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t want to do it.”
“I don’t understand why me of all people.”
“Well, for one, there’s no one else to ask. Everyone here has a dragon to fly with.”
“You could ask Matthias or Thorne,” Graham pointed out.
Neither of those men had a dragon. In fact, neither of them were a mage. Matthias was Parker’s human best friend, while Thorne was the man in charge of keeping everything in the castle as it should be. Both of them were nice, but Emory didn’t want to fly with them. He wanted to fly with Graham.
He wasn’t sure it made sense, so he didn’t think he could explain. Would Graham even accept an explanation?
Maybe. He seemed curious to know more about Emory.
He seemed generally interested in what Emory had to say, and today, he’d actually come out to talk to him.
That wasn’t something that had happened before.
Graham was finally getting out of his shell, and Emory wanted to see more of that.
He wanted to see Graham in the air, with the wind messing up his hair and a smile on his face. Flying made everyone smile.
“I don’t want to ask Matthias or Thorne,” Emory said.
“I’m asking you. You don’t have to say yes if you’re uncomfortable with the idea, but don’t say no just because you think I don’t actually want to do it.
Like I said before, I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t.
I want to fly, and I want to fly with you. ”
Graham stared at Emory for a long moment. Emory stared back, enjoying the view. Graham was a pretty man. It had been a long time since Emory had felt that kind of way for anyone, or rather, since he’d allowed himself to feel that kind of way.
Graham’s hair was dark and shaggy. He looked like he needed a haircut, but Emory quite liked how soft his messy hair made his face look. It made him want to pull Graham into his arms and comfort him, even though right now, there wasn’t a reason for him to do that.
Graham’s blue eyes were a striking contrast with his dark hair, but Graham didn’t like that they always looked wary, like Graham expected something to go wrong at any moment. Emory understood why Graham felt that way, but he wished he could change it.
“Maybe I’ll say yes,” Graham eventually said.
It was a maybe, which wasn’t as good as a yes, but it was better than a no. Emory was satisfied with that. He knew he’d wear Graham down. He was pretty sure that Graham had a crush on him, so it shouldn’t take much more than him batting his lashes at the man.
Emory wasn’t quite there yet, though. He’d keep that as a secret weapon, to use only if Graham proved himself to be too stubborn.