Chapter Eight
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EMORY SAT ON THE STONE wall overlooking the lake, watching the sun dip toward the horizon. Meyer was sitting beside him in his human form. They’d flown together earlier, a lazy afternoon patrol around the castle that had turned into an excuse to stretch their wings.
“You’re spending a lot of time with Graham,” Meyer said. It wasn’t an accusation, just an observation, but Emory tensed anyway.
He had to remind himself that Meyer wasn’t Tyne. “Is that a problem?” he asked.
“No.” Meyer’s voice was gentle. “I was just noticing. You sit together at meals now. You take walks. Yesterday I saw you by the lake.” He paused. “It looks like you’re building something with him.”
Emory picked at a loose piece of stone on the wall. “Maybe. I don’t know what it looks like from the outside.” But he knew what it felt like from the inside.
“It looks like two people who care about each other figuring out how to be together.” Meyer tilted his head. “But I’m guessing it doesn’t feel that simple.”
It didn’t. “The last time I let myself fall for someone, I lost everything. My ability to shift. My dragon. Years of my life.” He finally looked at Meyer. “How do I know I’m not making the same mistake again?” That was his worst fear, and it had nothing to do with who Graham was.
Meyer stared out at the lake. “I don’t remember the man I was before,” he said eventually. “But Tyne does. He remembers that I was going to leave him. For his cousin, of all people.” He snorted softly.
Emory knew the story, even though he didn’t have any details. He didn’t need them. Meyer wasn’t the man he’d been back then.
“It took Tyne a long time to accept that I’m not that person anymore,” Meyer continued.
“That I don’t remember choosing to leave, but it was hard for him to trust that I wouldn’t do something like that again.
” He smiled. “But eventually, he realized he had to make a choice. He could hold onto who I used to be and the past, or he could trust who I am now and give our future together a chance.”
“And if you remember someday?” Emory asked. “If it all comes back?”
“Then we’ll deal with it together. What we have now is real. It’s built on who we are today, not who we were a hundred years ago.”
Emory thought about that. Graham wasn’t Carlyle.
He couldn’t be more different if he tried, and Emory should know since he’d known Carlyle very well.
Graham was patient where Carlyle had been demanding, gentle where Carlyle had been harsh, even with the people he’d claimed to love.
And he was human, which meant he’d never be able to use magic to hurt Emory.
“He can’t take my dragon,” Emory said. “Even if he wanted to. He’s human. There’s no bond between us, no magic for him to steal.”
Meyer nodded slowly. “So the thing you’re most afraid of is impossible with him.”
“Yes.” The worst wound Emory carried, his deepest fear—it didn’t apply in this case.
“That doesn’t mean he can’t hurt you in other ways,” Meyer said gently. “Love always comes with risks. But maybe this is a different kind of risk than you’re used to.”
Emory thought about Graham’s steady presence, the way he’d thrown himself between Emory and Carlyle without hesitation. He didn’t look at Emory with the intensity Carlyle had, but with something softer and much more gentle.
“I like him,” Emory admitted, and saying it out loud felt terrifying and freeing all at once.
“I like spending time with him. I like that he doesn’t push, that he lets me set the pace.
I like that he’s just...there. Steady. I know he’s not going anywhere.
” And not only because Emory had asked him not to.
Graham liked living there, even though he might never admit it to himself.
“Sounds like you’re falling for him.”
Emory’s first instinct was to deny it, but the words stuck in his throat.
Was he? The thought should have terrified him.
Maybe it did, a little. But underneath the fear, he could feel hope that maybe he could have this.
That maybe he hadn’t lost the ability to love when Carlyle had taken his dragon.
That maybe, with someone who couldn’t hurt him the same way, he could build something real that he hadn’t expected he’d ever have.
“I thought I’d lost this,” Emory said quietly. “The chance to have someone and not be afraid of what it would cost me.” He drew in a breath, then let it out slowly. “But Graham’s human. He’s not tied to me through magic. What we have would be a choice.”
“That’s the best kind of relationship,” Meyer said. “The kind that’s built on choosing each other every day, because you want to be together.”
Maybe Emory could let himself want Graham, and the comfort of his presence, and the way Graham looked at him like he was something precious. He wanted to be something precious, and he wanted Graham to know he mattered.
“Tyne’s waiting for you,” Emory said eventually, nodding toward the castle where he could see Tyne’s silhouette in one of the upper windows. It was a little creepy, but Meyer didn’t seem to mind.
Meyer smiled, looking happier than anyone dating Tyne should be. “He worries when I’m gone too long.” He stood, then paused. “For what it’s worth, I think Graham’s good for you. And I think you’re good for him. Sometimes second chances are what we need, even though we never thought we’d have one.”
After Meyer left, Emory stayed where he was to watch the sun sink lower. Maybe Meyer was right. Maybe this was a second chance for both Graham and Emory. Graham was trying to atone for his past and find a new purpose. Emory needed to learn to trust again.
It was terrifying. But for the first time since Carlyle had died, Emory felt something that wasn’t fear or caution when it came to the future.
He felt hope.
* * * *
GRAHAM WAS TRYING TO make an effort, but he kind of regretted it.
He’d thought that spending more time in the living room would show the mages and their dragons that he was trying, and maybe it did, but it also meant that he was exposed to them.
Right now, the people in the room with him were watching him like he was a fish in a bowl, and it made him want to scream and run.
At least not everyone was there. Things would have been even more awkward if Tyne had been.
Graham imagined that he would’ve tried to kill him with his gaze, and knowing him, he just might have succeeded.
But Graham was safe, even though Penley, Ansley, and Keylon were all staring at him.
When they’d come in, they’d been talking about watching a few episodes of a TV show, but even though the TV was on, they were almost exclusively watching Graham, which was kind of annoying.
Graham had heard about the show, and he wanted to know what the fuss was about.
“You know that the TV is on, right?” he asked.
Keylon quickly turned back to the screen, but Ansley and Penley continued staring. They’d be harder to distract.
“I can go back to my room if you want me to,” Graham offered.
Penley shook his head instantly. “Why would you do that?”
“So you can watch your show.”
Penley grabbed the remote. He paused the show, and all three of them went back to watching Graham.
Great. That was even worse than it had been before.
Graham groaned. “Look, I’m trying to make an effort, but you’re not making it easy on me. This is weird.”
“We’re just not used to seeing you around the castle,” Ansley pointed out.
“I have dinner with you every day. Hell, I also have breakfast and lunch with you every day. How can you not be used to seeing me around the castle when you see me at least three times a day?”
“You have your meals with us because you feel like you have to,” Penley said. “Even when you watched a movie with us, you did it because you felt like you couldn’t say no when I asked. This is different. Something about you is different.”
Graham looked away. He was pretty sure his cheeks were bright red. “I’m not any different.”
“I bet I know what’s different,” Ansley teased. “It probably has to do with a handsome dragon.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.
” But Graham knew it was a lost cause. He wasn’t surprised that people had noticed how much time he and Emory were spending together.
It was bound to happen, considering they all lived together.
He just hadn’t expected anyone to confront him over it.
At least these three weren’t accusing him of trying to hurt Emory the way Tyne would have.
He was still convinced that Graham had a reason to be here that went beyond him needing a place to stay.
Penley twisted his body, tucking one of his legs under himself so he could watch Graham more easily. They were sitting on the same couch, while Ansley and Keylon had chosen another one. All three men were staring, though, and Graham wondered if they’d try to stop him if he ran.
Probably.
He sighed. “What do you want to know?”
“How are things going with Emory?” Penley asked.
“There’s nothing going on with Emory. We’re friends, and I worry about him after what happened. That’s all.”
“That’s understandable, but anyone can tell there’s something more. You don’t worry about me or anyone else the way you do about Emory.”
“You weren’t almost killed by Carlyle like he was,” Graham pointed out.
Keylon snorted. “Sorry, but I’m pretty sure we all were almost killed by Carlyle.”
“You all have someone who worries about you already. I can’t exactly fuss over you the way your dragon is supposed to.”
“But you can do that with Emory?”
“I can do it because he doesn’t have anyone who’s going to do it.”
Penley cocked his head. “Is that what’s going on, then? Do you wish you could be his mage?”
That was a heavy question. “No. If I was a mage, I don’t think he’d want anything to do with me.”
Penley’s expression turned more serious. “I think you’re right about that. You’re safe to him because you can’t hurt him the way Carlyle did.”