It’s All Too Much
It’s All Too Much
“No, I can’t take on more. Being queen over the six clans is already more than I can handle. I can’t add on another whole kingdom. If your people have survived for over four hundred years, they can wait a little longer,” I stated. “Jade, I think it’s best if we head back now.”
Jade nodded, but his gaze drifted over to Zan. “What do we do about him?”
“I don’t care what he does,” I answered, knowing that I sounded cruel, but I wanted nothing to do with the dragon throne or whatever he called it. Having Zan with us would just be a reminder of what else was out there waiting for me, and I couldn’t handle it.
“Cass, you cannot abandon him. He is one of your guardians, and your Birthright chose him for a reason. You will need him, as much as I hate to admit it.”
“There is only so much a person can take, and I’m not strong enough to handle any more right now.
I’m afraid that the more I learn from him, the more my responsibilities will grow.
They have been left in a time bubble. Those people have no idea what is going on in the world or how things work between us as pair-bonds. ”
“What if learning from him is exactly what you need? You said it yourself. If we can learn from the past, then we are not doomed to repeat ourselves. After speaking with his dragon, they know the same things we do about being pair-bonded, but that is not the word they use. What if I told you that every person back in that village has a pure Birthright and a pair-bond with a dragon?”
“What? How can that be? Birthrights are fading from existence.”
“Seems like he might be more useful to us than you thought.”
“I hate it when you do that, Vasin. You know I can’t argue with sound logic.”
Vasin just laughed as he wandered over to check on the brown dragon. “He should be healed enough to fly back to the hideout. I suggest you ride with Jade, though, until we get a harness made for you like he has so that I never have to fear losing you as I did today.”
I had to agree with Vasin there. I wasn’t sure I was ready to be on my own flying just yet, after everything.
Taking a deep breath, I hobbled up to Zan.
“Would you like to come back with me? You may have been marked as a guardian to me, but I will not force that on you if it is not something you want.”
“Your Majesty, I would be honored to serve as one of your guardians, but I must be honest with you. I’m blind…”
“Blind?” I blurted, stunned by this announcement, even though I’d noticed something odd about him. “How can that be?”
“My blessing is the ability to use the eyes of any dragon I’ve made a connection with.
I’ve been blind my whole life, so it’s not a hindrance to me in being of service to you.
Ezzu is always with me, and in battle, I’ll have Ifra, so I am able to see far better than any human,” Zan informed me as he shifted his vacant gray eyes to meet mine.
“If you still want me to come with you, I will, but if you send me back to Sheca, I won’t hold it against you. ”
“I feel that we have a lot to learn from and about each other, Zan, and I can’t do that with you being in another kingdom,” I answered, choosing to trust in Vasin and my own Birthright for having chosen him for me.
Zan bowed deeply from the waist. “You honor me, Your Majesty.”
“The others are going to love this,” Jade muttered as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, guiding me back to Tahir. He hoisted me up and strapped us both in snuggly before Tahir launched himself into the air, and we headed back to our temporary home.
Seeing how far Vasin had led Zan away from the hideout, I was impressed with how fast Jade had made it to us.
We circled a few times, waiting for Vasin and Ifra to join us before he glided down to the wide ledge we’d landed on only three days ago.
The instant Tahir touched down, all my guardians came rushing out of the tunnel and headed right for us.
“What the hell happened, Cassarah?” Cole demanded, reaching us first with Dayson and Izel on his heels.
Jade lowered me into their arms, where Dayson checked me over for any damage done to my body. When he tried to cut up my pant leg to get a better look at my injured leg, I’d reached my limit.
“Put that damn blade away, Dayson, or so help me God, I will stab you with it,” I snapped. “Just back off, all of you… please.”
The stunned looks on their faces told me I crossed the line, taking my feelings out on them. It wasn’t their fault. They didn’t know what I’d just been through or that I couldn’t handle anything more right now.
“Who the hell are you?” Payson growled, noticing Zan. May joined Payson, hand on her sword, ready to take action if it was called for.
This caused Ezzu to snarl at them, leaping off Zan’s shoulder to attack them, but quick as an arrow, Zan gripped the dragon by her tail and coddled her against his chest.
“What the fuck is that?” Payson gasped as he ducked, covering his head with his hands. “Wait, is that a tiny dragon?”
“Leave them be,” I sighed and sought out Abbott.
He was standing in the middle of both situations, unsure of which to act on, but when he felt my gaze, he turned and walked over to me.
“Abbott, I need you to keep an eye on Zan. I’m not getting into the story right now, but Zan is the newest addition to the guardians. ”
Abbott started to ask me a question but took a moment to search my face before he nodded and walked over to Zan.
He held out his hand to the man. Zan hesitated a moment before he took the offered hand and shook it.
“I’m Abbott, one of Cassarah’s guardians and a member of the Raven Rose clan. Welcome to the team.”
“Zandophen, but you can call me Zan. This little hellion is Ezzu, and that’s my dragon partner, Ifra,” Zan said, introducing himself and the brown dragon behind him.
“Looks like the big guy got into a scuffle. Does Ifra need to be looked at?” Abbott asked.
Trusting Abbott to deal with this, I let myself relax from worrying about what to do with Zan until later. “Jade, would you help me back to my room?”
I knew that if I asked one of the others, they would bombard me with questions, and I just didn’t have the strength to deal with it.
I would snap at them, and they didn’t deserve that from me right now.
Jade lifted me into his arms, and we headed into the tunnel without speaking another word.
As we passed by everyone gathered in the common area, I couldn’t help but feel envious of them living such a simple life, enjoying time with their families and loved ones.
None of them had to deal with the fate of thousands of people’s lives and try to make the best call to keeping them safe.
I knew I could help them, but what would it cost me to do so?
I’d already had to change so much from the person I was living trapped in my parents’ house—not that I wanted to stay that way.
Now, I supposedly had another kingdom I was meant to rule over.
That would make me a legitimate queen with a castle and everything.
Is that what I wanted out of life? Could it be that I was just meant to save everyone and then hand it off to someone better suited for a job of this magnitude?
“Little bird, you need to take a deep breath,” Jade whispered as he sat me down at the door to my room, turning me to face him.
“Everything you learned tonight can wait. Like you said, they’ve been able to manage for hundreds of years without you.
I’m amazed you haven’t had a meltdown before this.
You’ve had more thrown at you in the past few days than anyone could withstand.
We can delay Alto and me going to Royal City tomorrow if you need me around. ”
“No, you have to go tomorrow. That letter getting to Queen Mary is of the utmost importance, and I trust you to see it done. Vasin and I have to meet with the other dragon riders as it is. This will help get me out of this place and away from the clan leaders for a bit.” I leaned my head against his chest. “Jade, I don’t have the luxury of breaking.
I have to be the one to be strong in the face of it all.
If I buckle, then everything else will fail.
It’s been proven time and time again that without a strong leader, everything else crumbles under them. ”
Jade tentatively wrapped his arms around me, and when I didn’t pull away, he pulled me against his chest. “Then let us hold you up when you feel like you’re going to shatter.
I know we haven’t had much time to get to know one another, but I can already see how much each and every one of your guardians wants to be there for you.
Your powers chose us all for some reason or another.
Some are obvious, and others I’m sure you will discover along the way, but we are picked specifically for you, Cassarah. ”
“Trust doesn’t come easily for me, but I hear what you’re saying,” I answered, letting myself melt against him, allowing him to hold me up for a moment before I took a deep breath and pulled out of his arms. “Thank you, Jade, for being there when it truly matters. I’ll see you in the morning before you and Alto fly out. ”
“Sleep well, little bird, but if you need me, I’m the second door on the right,” Jade said, letting his hand brush against my cheek before he turned and headed to his room.
I pushed my door open and hobbled into my room, glad to be alone with my thoughts for once.
It was harder than I thought it would be to adjust to having people around all the time.
Changing into my nightgown, I noticed a pile of books and scrolls on the small table next to my bed.
It would seem that Sal sent up more things for me to read, and glancing at the subject matter, it was about Errit and Utros.
Deciding against reading that before going to bed, I dimmed all the lanterns until the room was dark enough to sleep and fell into bed.
“Cassarah.”
My name whispered through my head as if passing by on a breeze.
“Cassarah, wake up. There is much to be done.”
This time the voice was more solid and forced me to open my eyes.
I bolted up in bed as I discovered I was in the vast white world of Vasin’s mind.
Somehow, I had managed to harmonize with Vasin in entering this world filled with all the knowledge of the dragons, past and present.
Slowly, I turned in a circle, trying to understand what was happening, but none of this made sense.
“I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you, Cassarah.”
Now I could tell that the voice was female and strangely sounded familiar to me. Then shimmering into existence was Miranda, the Raven Queen, whose life I watched in a series of dreams over the past six months.
“Wait… you can’t be here… you’re dead,” I blurted. “Does that mean I’m dead?”
Miranda just cocked an eyebrow at me with her hands on her hips. “Really, that’s what you think is going on?”
“How can you be here then?” I demanded, crossing my arms.
“I knew I was going to like you.” Miranda chuckled before her face became more serious. “We don’t have much time before you wake up, and we won’t get to everything right now, but I had to warn you.”
“Warn me about what? None of this makes sense!” I shouted, feeling my anger rise.
Miranda reached out and grabbed my arms. “There is so much more I wanted to do as queen, but my time was cut short. I didn’t trust myself or the people around me enough when they told me not to go to the castle on that fateful day.
Trust your gut. I know you have the right instincts about people, but also know that not everything is as it seems. You will figure out who offers true counsel and who is just trying to use you.
The world is far darker than we ever imagined. ”
“What does any of that mean?”
“We are out of time but know I’m here for you. All you have to do is call out for me here, and I’ll come.” Miranda faded away once again, leaving me to get yanked out of Vasin’s mind and back into my own.